A/N: Once again I'm joining in on a NedCan thing on tumblr. And you're in for a treat folks, because I've got some great, original ideas for the prompts! So let's get this going, shall we?

Warnings: Dumb headcanons and character interpretations that make perfect sense to me but would probably make Hima and 95% of the fandom weep because of the stupidity :P. But as long as you all get at least a chuckle out of it I feel that I've done my job :D.

Disclaimer: Hima keeps on ignoring my charms, so still not mine. *le sigh*

Prompt One: War

Johan let out a pained grunt as he carefully let himself slide down against the wall, clutching his injured shoulder. He had managed to temporarily get that blond bastard out of his hair by slamming him against another wall. He probably should have given him a good kick or something against his head to make sure he was out cold, but he decided to use his remaining strength to get some distance between them and pop his dislocated shoulder back to its place instead.

Another moan escaped him as he tentatively prodded his shoulder a bit, before deciding that it was probably better to just force it back in one go instead of just dancing around it.

"Fuuuuuuuuck, I'm not gonna like this," he muttered. Being a nation he has suffered through much worse injuries, but still. Popping back a dislocated shoulder may be trivial to their kind, it was still annoying. And hurt like a bitch. He gritted his teeth, grabbed his shoulder and shoved it back into its proper position, letting out some colorful language in the process.

"What the hell, van der Meer? You kiss your siblings with that mouth?"

"Hmph. I knew I should have knocked you out. Or at least slammed you harder." Johan said, not even bothering to look up. A chuckle escaped Johan's adversary as he made his way over to him, and used his hockeystick to lift his chin up, forcing him to look.

"Give it up already, Johan. You lost. You put up a decent fight, but you still lost. Admit it."

Johan shifted his gaze past Matthew, looking at the score. His name had 57 points behind it. Matthews name on the other hand….

"120 points, Johnnyboy. Twice your score."

"So it seems. Alright then."

A satisfied grin escaped Matthew. "Glad to see you've come to your senses. Now admit that I'm the king of icehockey so we can get-"

"Two out of three."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me, Matt. Two out of three. I think I've figured out your pattern. Next match is mine." He said, staring Matthew down with his trademark 'You're about to get fucked up' look. Matthew was dumbstruck for a moment. That cocky bastard got his ass beat hard, his shoulder probably won't do much for the next 24 hours, and he still wants to go at it again? Is he out of his goddamned mind?

"Are you out of your goddamned mind?! You can't even hold your hockeystick like this!"

"I still got my other arm. What's the matter? Afraid you'll get your ass handed to you by an injured icehockey noob?"

That seemed to get Matthew riled up, as he tossed his stick to side and grabbed Johan by the collar, slamming him against the wall.

"You arrogant, self-centered, masochist bastard!" He hissed as he brought their faces close. "You could do nothing but train for years and still not come close to my level, let alone defeat me!" The rage emitting from his violet eyes would make a lesser man tremble in fear and drop down to his knees, begging for forgiveness. Unfortunately for Matthew, Johan only fears his sister and the North Sea, so after biting back a scream (because damn, Matt is strong, and his shoulder is still hurting) he reached out his good arm and grabbed Matthew back, giving him his most confident smirk.

"So, next match in ten minutes then?" This just made Matthew slam him against the wall again, causing Johan to emit a rather painful grunt. Before he could say anything else he felt Matt's lips on his own, kissing him in such a rough, powerful, needy way, as if they had been apart for years and finally saw each other again. Johan, not quite being used to getting manhandled like this, tried getting the upper hand, but after a particularly pleasant squeeze on his nether regions he decided to just go with it, and kissed back. After a while Matt finally pulled back for some air, and Johan couldn't help but chuckle a bit when he saw that the lustful haze clouding his eyes was still there in full force.

"Don't look so smug, you jackass. You still lost bigtime," Matt said, punching him in his bad shoulder.

"Ouch! What the hell, Matt? Couldn't you have punched my good one?"

"What, and leave you with two bad shoulders? That would just be mean."

"God, you're such an ass."

"A victorious ass that is going to have his way with you, deal with it."

"Make me."

"With pleasure."

A/N: Football is war, and so is icehockey. Johan is all like 'I own at skating and fieldhockey, icehockey is pretty much a combo of those two, I'll go challenge Matt and beat him at his own game because that's how I roll'. He of course gets his ass handed to him, ignores that fact, acts like a smug bastard, Matt just rolls his eyes and has his way with him, everybody wins. Yay.

I probably could have done something about the actual war, but according to the goth kids from South Park that would make me a conformist bitch, so I'm not doing that :D.

Next prompt will probably be just as silly, so look forward to it. Hope you had fun reading!