Crying Over Spilled Milk
Ben walked home after school one day. He came to his neighbor Mr. Baumann's home. The old man's prized car happened to be parked in the driveway. Ben passed it with some apprehension. He had become notorious for various accidents happening to the car ever since he was a small child. It wasn't his fault. It happened to be unfortunate circumstances. Many unfortunate circumstance.
"Being anywhere near Mr. Baumann's car makes me nervous," Ben muttered. "Something always happens to it. It's never my fault! Just bad luck."
Before Ben could take another breath, Doctor Animo showed up on a mutated iguana. Ben had no idea the creature was behind him before its tongue lashed out and attempted to strike him.
"Whoa!" Ben yelled until he dodged. The creature's long tongue snatched the backpack off Ben's back. It went into the mutant iguana's huge mouth. "Doctor Animo?" Ben gasped before he fell flat on his face in the grass.
"Hello, Ben. How lucky for you that I'm here. You won't have to do all that homework tonight. Or ever again. You'll be a quick snack for my newest creation," Doctor Animo sneered.
"Too bad I've already used the dog ate my homework excuse a million times," Ben thought. "I wonder if the teachers would believe me if I said my homework was seriously eaten by a giant mutant iguana!"
Ben rolled until he crouched in the grass. He activated the Omnitrix. He became Ball Weevil. Doctor Animo laughed. His iguana took several steps forward. It looked hungry.
"What a fine transformation! You're the perfect bite-sized snack for my minion." He ordered the iguana to attack.
The mutant iguana opened its gaping mouth before the long tongue shot out again. Ball Weevil escaped beneath Mr. Baumann's car. The tongue hit the grass and retracted. The mutant iguana growled.
"I can't fight around Mr. Baumann's car!" Ball Weevil groaned as he scuttled out from underneath the back of the car. "If it gets destroyed, Mr. Baumann will never let me be in peace again. I'd rather deal with 20 Doctor Animos than one enraged Mr. Baumann. That's a lifetime of misery!"
Ball Weevil spit up a plasma ball and began to roll it along the sidewalk. He snuck up behind Doctor Animo and kicked it at the mutant iguana's tail.
"Over here, Dr. Lame-o! Come get me."
The mutant iguana roared at the explosion at its rear until it turned around. Doctor Animo growled and made the iguana charge at the small alien bug. Ball Weevil created another green ball of goo and placed it on the iguana's tongue as it attempted to lick him up. Instead, the ball went into the mutant's mouth. It exploded. The mutant iguana stumbled around until it toppled over, unconscious. Doctor Animo yelled out as he fell from his mount onto the grass.
"Curse you, Ben Tennyson! This isn't over!" Doctor Animo yelled while waving his fist.
"Oh yes it is," Ball Weevil stated before he began to spin another ball. "I'd rather do homework or chores than waste time on you. You never bring anything interesting to the party. Your gimmicks are old and worn out. I repeat: Lame-O!"
Doctor Animo gasped until he tried to run away from the impending attack. Ball Weevil threw the ball. It hit Doctor Animo's feet and exploded. He flew through the air until he screamed and landed on the sidewalk. His helmet flew off his head and bounced off Mr. Baumann's car before it hit the ground.
"Are you kidding me?" Ball Weevil yelled in dismay until he transformed back into a human.
Ben ran to inspect the car. He was horrified when he observed the large dent the helmet made when it contacted the hood of the car. Ben grabbed his head before he pulled his hair. He shook his head violently.
"Noooo! Why? Why does this always happen, no matter what!" he wailed.
Mr. Baumann opened his garage door and walked out. "What's all that racket out here? Ben! I might have known."
"Mr. Baumann!" Ben gasped. "Maybe he won't notice the dent," he muttered beneath his breath. The chances were highly unlikely, but Ben prayed for a stroke of good luck anyway.
Mr. Baumann noted the giant iguana and the oddly dressed man lying on the ground. It didn't distract him for long. He inspected his car. His eyes widened when he viewed the dent. He clenched his fists and bared his teeth as his face grew red.
"TENNYSON! MY CAR! AGAIN! I KNEW IT!"
Ben flinched. "Mr. Baumann, I'm sorry. I tried to get Doctor Animo away from the car before it got damaged, but," he began until he was interrupted.
"NO EXCUSES!" Mr. Baumann shouted. "You are going to work off this damage. AGAIN!"
Ben turned to Doctor Animo and grabbed him by the shirt collar. "It's HIS fault!" Ben whined as he pointed. "It was HIS stupid helmet that fell on the car!"
"It only fell on that car because you shot a green ball of explosive gel at me," Doctor Animo noted.
"I hate you so much," Ben hissed.
"The feeling is mutual," Doctor Animo said as he smiled with sharpened teeth.
Mr. Baumann came back with one of his pink and white hats and a pink apron bearing a black 'B' on it. He tossed them at Ben. "Hurry up, delivery boy. You've got work to do."
After depositing Doctor Animo back in the Plumber's custody, Ben again became an errand boy under Mr. Baumann's wrath. Ben was again restricted from his alien powers while making the deliveries, but he also had to work carefully not to break any of the extremely delicate items. Ben spent all day delivering boxes marked as EXTREMELY FRAGILE. He became increasingly paranoid at all possible lurking dangers. Eventually, he became terrified at the thought of one of his numerous enemies showing up at any moment. He dreaded the idea of them trying to start a fight around such expensive dedicates. He imagined Mr. Baumann's perpetual rage. He began to sweat until he safely delivered the next to last package to an apartment door.
"That's the next to last delivery," Ben said with relief before he wiped away sweat on his forehead. "I can't believe I almost made it!"
Ben looked down at his list. He checked off the next to last item. He observed the very last item. His nervousness faded somewhat. It didn't appear that expensive or delicate. It was average.
"A bottle of milk? That sounds easy compared to all the other items I was forced to meticulously transport for blocks at a time without breaking any of it," Ben said. "This will be a piece of cake." He wondered if the person who had ordered the bottle of milk had a cake or something to go with it. "Who orders bottled milk for delivery these days? That's so 1950s."
He viewed the map of the location the delivery was to be made. His jaw dropped when he realized it was a precarious place at the very top level of Undertown's many apartment complexes. It was also located far across Undertown from his current location.
"I knew there'd be a catch," Ben muttered. He pushed his cart slowly for what felt like hours down the many winding back roads until he came to the ladder leading to his destination. "How am I supposed to climb a ladder and carry this stupid old fashioned bottle? This would be a cinch if I could use the Omnitrix."
Ben pondered various pros and cons with much turmoil. He eventually came to a decision.
"Who's to say I can't? Mr. Baumann isn't going to notice. Just this once." Ben hovered his hand over the Omnitrix until he activated it. "I'll be up and back down again, and done in a heartbeat. It's the last delivery. What could go wrong?"
He became Stinkfly. He fluttered his strong wings and began to ascend into the air with the bottle carefully in his claws.
"No problem. Easy as pie. Cake, pie. Now that I think about it, I'm getting hungry," he muttered.
"I've got something you can eat, Tennyson," said a voice from behind him. "Lead!"
"Oh no!" Stinkfly yelled. Bullets passed by his head. He clutched the bottle of milk tightly to his chest. He thought nothing of his personal safety at the moment. The milk was too important. "Stop! I've got delicate cargo here!"
He saw the chicken-alien known as Liam aiming a gun at him.
"This is for all the time I've had to spend in jail because of you. A bullet for each day," Liam said before clucking loudly.
"That's a lot of ammo!" Stinkfly noted until he grimaced.
Liam fired multiple times while his enemy attempted to dodge each one. One of the bullets hit the milk bottle as Stinkfly held it. It shattered and rained down milk and glass.
"You'll be next," Liam clucked.
Stinkfly screamed loud enough to trick Liam into thinking he'd been shot as well. Stinkfly thrashed his many arms in the air and sobbed loudly.
"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE!" he wailed until he developed an expression of rage.
Stinkfly flew down amid a hail of bullets while avoiding every one until he punched Liam repeatedly in the face. He fired goo from his multiple eyes and covered Liam with it. He kicked Liam's butt a few times before pulling out a handful of his tail feathers. Liam squawked in pain and humiliation. Stinkfly gooped up Liam's arms and legs before carrying him into the air and dangling him precariously.
"It's time to ROAST this BIRD!" he declared before he flew over a large barbecue pit in Underdown's food vendor section.
"No! You wouldn't!" Liam begged. He did not want to get his butt literally cooked on an actual grill.
"I can and will! You have no idea of what I've been through all day long. Now I'm in for more trouble than I began! I am SO MAD! I'm seeing red. Your goose is cooked. Er, chicken. Whatever!" Stinkfly informed.
"Ben, wait!" shouted a voice from below.
He looked down to see Rook. "Rook?"
"You do not have to take your aggression on that lowlife, Ben. I was the one who ordered the milk," Rook explained.
"You?" Stinkfly inquired as he descended. He placed Liam on the ground. "Why did you request it to be delivered to that ridiculously out of the way place?" Stinkfly placed his multiple hands on his multiple hips, or body segments. "Rook, I'm waiting!"
Rook looked sheepish. "Okay, I admit it. I wanted to see you make a very challenging delivery. I did not mean anything bad to come from it. You can write off the delivery as delivered."
Ben transformed back into a human. He sighed. He took off his hat and wiped his head. "Well, I'm glad it turned out this way instead of terrible. Hope you don't mind the spilled milk."
"I will not cry over it," Rook said before he patted his friend on the back.
The End
