Author's Note: This is for my friend, Sky Blue Baby. Hope you guys liked this. R and R please, pardon my poor grammar and tenses. Thank you. Gravitation is not mine, this is just a work of fiction inspired by the original.
I went there early. I was fidgeting all day, Yoh was asking me what's wrong. I just put up a fake smile and tried to convince him that nothing is wrong. I left the house soon after I saw his car left the driveway. I did not tell him that I am meeting someone or he would tell me not to go or he would insist that he would go with me, especially if he finds out whom I am meeting.
I was worrying the gold band on my finger absent-mindedly, my thoughts somewhere else. Remembering past events that lead to what is about to happen now.
She got there. She really is stunning since the first time I saw her. Anyone would fall for someone like her. I felt a stab on my chest. I am nothing like her.
"Thank you for meeting me. Eiri doesn't know I'm already back in town, so please don't let him know I met with you or I'm already back." Ayaka said.
"I haven't seen Yuki for two days now, we had a fight and he hasn't come home yet." I said absent-mindedly, as if I was talking to one of my friends.
"How did you two meet?" I asked, curious.
"We are matched by our parents. Eiri did not want to follow the family tradition and be a monk, to save face, and to save their family's temple, he was matched to me. Tatsuha Kun was too young to marry and he was the one being groomed to be the next in line of priesthood." She said.
I bet he did not want you. I said to myself stubbornly. But I spoke too soon.
I bowed my head, "I found out about you, too. But at that moment, the truth is farthest in my mind. I did not care, if he was a monk or he had dozen of wives. To me, he is the one. The only one. Because when I met Yuki, I vowed to myself I would give up everything just to keep him." I said.
"You really are stupid, you know. Clinging on to him, that is so irritating." She said, angrily.
I looked down on my shaking hands, watching the gold band on my finger; this is the only truth I need. My love. My Yuki. He gave this to me on our first year together, and he said, this would be the start of our lives together.
I met Eiri Yuki at the company where I work. I bumped into him, and he criticized my lyrics. At first, I thought he did not recognize me, being the up and coming lead singer of Japan's newest sensation, Bad Luck. And I sure did not know who he was then. I just assumed he is just one of those producers trying to sign in his band with the NG group. I did not know that he was the brother in law of the president of the company, and yes, the number one novelist in the country, THE Yuki Eiri.
Yuki looked at the paper that flew on his face, while I was crouching to retrieve the rest of my lyrics that flew out of my hands when we bumped into each other in the hallway.
His golden eyes scanned the page; his visage was covered in smoke from the smoldering cigarette between his lips.
"You wrote this?" he asked.
My face lifted into a shy smile, expecting compliments and was ready to give a shy reply, my usual gambit to fans. I was waiting for the recognition as well.
"Hai. Pretend that you didn't see it, I haven't shown that yet to my band members." I said, coyly.
He looked at me again, "Better not, or they would take you out of the group. This thing sucks, even a 12 year old could do better." He said, and flip the paper at me, turning and walking away.
I was appalled, my mouth was hanging open. The nerve! I was gasping for words in retort but I couldn't think of one.
He looked back at me, just at that moment a ray of light shown behind his head, forming a halo, striking his light blond hair, his eyes shinning like an angel. He smiled then. Well, a sarcastic smile.
"I won't tell them if you won't." he said, and walked off.
I was fuming! This is a declaration of war! I was so pissed off, muttering words under my breathe. "He is the devil not an angel. I don't care if he is so handsome. He is a spawn of the devil himself."
"Hey, Shuichi. What are you muttering about?" Yoh asked, our sound man and my live in partner.
I told him about the man I ran across in the hallway, heading to the president's office. I told him that the guy is probably a producer, he looks sleazy and stinks of cigarette.
Yoh was rolling with laughter. He patted me on the back and kissed me, "Oh, Shuichi. Don't let the president hear you say that to his favorite brother in law or you would be out of a job." He said.
"Bro-Brother in law?" I asked flabbergasted. "Him?" "Who is he anyway?"
He laugh some more, "You mean you didn't know him? He is a famous playboy, Japan's most eligible bachelor, Yuki Eiri, the famous novelist."
My mouth stood agape. Novelist? Bachelor? Playboy? Hmmm…so he is a writer. That's why he is too critical of my lyrics. I don't care he has no right to criticize my work, lyric writing is different from novels. That's what I told Yoh.
"I love your songs, babe." He said, with that smile that won me over a dozen times.
I met Yoh when we were recruited by a producer, Sakano sama to be signed up to his company NG group, the only reason before was because of Ryuichi Sakuma, my God of music who is also from NG and the lead singer of Nittle Grasper. But things didn't turn out as we expected. Hiro, my classmate, best friend, partner and guitarist also loves him. We were a big fan back in high school and we would perform all of Ryuichi's songs during the school events. But sometimes we play in small clubs and bars, and that is where Sakano sama spotted us and convinced us to sign up. And now here we are.
I have always thought that if I lose you I would turn into dust and fade away. That I had always been nothing if you are not there. But you know what? Here I am, I am my own person, had survive the holocaust of my heart when I left you. I had been like a droid, going through the everyday grind for a couple of weeks. I had thought that this is it, I am nothing now because I am without you. But I have survived, someone had reached out to me and helped me up. Someone had given me shelter, someone had wrapped their arms around me and warmed up my freezing heart, and someone had reached out and wiped away my tears. Despite of everything, I had been empty but because of this good Samaritan, I am whole again, inside of me, there's him now, the scars of the loss of you had faded away. I had moved further away from your shadow, and it won't be long, when I look back, I won't be able to see not even a glint of your presence. Then and only then I could say, I'm free.
Yuki saw me at the corner of the NG Building, I was a mess. I stood up the live interview and ditched the performance, no one knew I went back there to get my stuff. I don't want to run into anyone, although I'm disguised with dark shades, anyone who was really close to me and knows me, could tell it's the lead singer of Bad Luck. I was contemplating whether to go in the building or not, I don't know if anyone I know would be there or they would be at the concert, that everyone was looking for me. I have turned off my phone to stop it from ringing. I don't know if I could perform and fake a smile after what happened. Yoh. I said his name again, unconsciously, and then broke into tears once more. That's when that arrogant blond approached me.
"Are you okay? You are Shuichi Shindou, right? The singer for Tohma's group." He said.
His face didn't register to me at first, I was staring into the face of an arrogant looking angel. I was about to ask who he was but I broke into a sobs when he reminded me who I was.
I felt an arm went around me, and leading me away from the building. I allowed myself to be lead. I had no strength to protest. I must have passed out, when I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar place, someone's couch and someone's house. I looked around and saw him, sitting there, reading a book, watching me.
"So, you are finally awake, are you hungry?" he asked, standing up.
I was about to say thank you for being so kind, thinking that I made a mistake with this guy. But I spoke too soon. He has developed a pattern in my head, he is a very complicated man, this novelist, Yuki Eiri. He never seize to amaze me and keep me up on my toes.
"I must say, I never have the habit of bringing strangers into my home. But you looked like a wreck and when I was about to take you to a café or somewhere you passed out, so I took you here." He said, with a smirk, laying food on the table.
I was gonna give him a piece of my mind, I just saw my live-in lover in the arms of a woman, my personnel assistant whom I thought was my friend, and instead of begging for my forgiveness and saying it was a mistake that it didn't look what I think it looked. On our bed. Yoh took her back to our home and they had sex on our bed. He flat out said that he loves her and was really planning to cool off with me, because I'm getting to be too successful for him that I am leaving him behind. I was appalled. My sweet and gentle Yoh, where did he go? I was looking at a complete stranger with a familiar face. I didn't reply. I walked to the closet and grabbed his suitcase and started packing his clothes, throwing everything I got my hands on blindly because of my tears and tossing them in the bag.
"What are you doing?" Yoh asked. The girl had the decency to get dressed and left.
"You are leaving, you are going with her." I replied, between gritted teeth.
"You were not supposed to be here, Shui. What are you doing here anyway?" he said, putting it back in the closet. I grabbed it back and pushed him and toss it back in the bag.
"You forgot what day is today Yoh. Today is our anniversary. We are on our third year today. I finished all my tapings and was planning to take you to my interview and then after that fly you somewhere for our celebration." I said.
"I'm sorry, Shui. I didn't plan to end it this way." He said, still sitting on the floor where I pushed him.
"When are you gonna tell me? When she gets pregnant? You will still continue with this charade and idiot me continue living and loving you and you are doing this behind my back. That is so low, this is too much even from you." I said, shaking my head, my tears flowing like rain.
"Three years may not be much to you, but I have given you everything I have got. I have left nothing for myself." I said, looking at him, when he didn't say anything, I closed the suitcase, zipping it up.
As if, like our marriage, I have closed the door and ended it. I handed it to him. "Time for you to leave. I don't want to see you again."
He didn't say anything, he didn't try to console me. All he did was took the bag from me and closed the door behind him. I broke down, tore the whole place apart. I didn't want to stay there, I was going to grabbed my stuff at the studio when Yuki saw me.
I looked at the blond man preparing the table. He looked up, and beckoned me, "Come here and eat. It will make you feel better." He said.
Here I am being consoled by the last person I expected it from, and yes, the very first person I know who insulted my lyrics without even batting an eyelash.
I got up and bowed to him, "Thank you so much, Yuki san." I said. I didn't hear any reply, and then I felt gentle hands ruffling my hair.
"Soft. I thought it would be sticky and hard because of all the goo you put in there but it is actually soft." He said, touching my hair, he inched closer, and he inhaled, I could feel his hot breathe on my ear, "Smells like strawberries, too." He said.
I looked up, too stunned to speak, and then he kissed me. I almost swooned, my knees feeling weak. He grabbed me from behind and deepened the kiss. In a flash of a millisecond I was in his arms. I didn't know if it was him or me that moaned first. But the next several minutes was a blur to me. All I can think about is this person, the one kissing me, I developed a hunger for him, my whole body going into a series of shakes and quiver, wherever he touched I wanted to cry out in pleasure.
We were in bed in a matter of seconds, clothes tore off from each other, leaving a trail of clothes from the kitchen leading to the bedroom.
My body was on fire, like an addict with an obsession, I demanded kiss after kiss, spearing my body with his hot flesh, letting him ride me, as I let all my emotions float away from the torrent of our love making.
I was so weak, when I looked out the window it was night again. Yuki was sprawled next to me. I didn't know two people can last two days straight non-stop having sex. It was a hunger we can't seem to satisfy, we would sleep for a few minutes and then we would be at each other's flesh all over again. A need to fill up the empty void of our being. Yuki was a passionate man, I had indeed made a mistake for saying he was arrogant and rude. Although who could tell that by just having sex with someone? Maybe its in his kisses, his caress, his touch. Despite of the harsh words coming out of his mouth, his touch was never rough, his kisses never been forceful. It was all gentle and sweet, I could almost feel myself drowning into them, melting into those arms. It is all a façade to him, that anyone who wants to know the real Yuki should look behind that arrogant stance and harsh words.
I must have fell back to sleep, when I woke up it was noon and I heard doors opening and closing, things being zipped closed. I opened my eyes and saw him changing clothes, he looks fresh from the shower, and yes, during this unguarded moment, I saw how handsome he is. Without that scowl on his face, without the glasses, and yes, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. I sat up embarrassed, planning to get dressed and find a motel somewhere, hibernate for awhile until I'm strong enough to face everyone. He saw me, and I blushed. I just couldn't believe the last 72 hours of my life, I had spent it with this man, he knew every nook and cranny of my body now.
"You can stay here awhile. I got another house, this house is where I usually stay when I work, I'm here most of the time, but this is not the only place I stay at." He said, buttoning his shirt.
"I-I don't want to impose." I said, in a small voice, finding it embarrassing to jump into bed with him without even knowing who he really is, if he is married or living with someone or whatever. But, actually, I didn't care, he was there for me when I needed him most. I would take everything he would care to give me, and yes, love every piece of him that he is willing to share with me. My stomach started growling. I remembered I haven't had anything since Yuki saw me.
He walked over to where I was, leaned down and kissed me, "Go eat, brat. I had heat up your food from last night. I will be back tonight, I got stuff to do. I would like to see you again when I get home, and I wouldn't mind if you stay." He said. I just nodded shyly, my body tingling all over again when he kissed me.
"Eiri demanded that I spend more time at home and be a wife, but I was too busy with my work that most of the time I ignored him." Ayaka said, looking up to me.
I woke up from my reverie, and realized that I wasn't with Yuki that I was here in a restaurant with his wife. His wife. He was married. It was never brought up, I have assumed that he was still single since he is with me all the time, that same day I moved in and didn't come back to the house Yoh and I bought together. We had been living together for two years when our anniversary came up, we talked about making things permanent, he said, he wants to marry me and make everything official. He gave me a ring, the matching gold band I'm wearing now, with our names engraved on it. I was too overwhelmed to react. He was willing to announce to the world that he is going to marry another guy. Although his family has accepted me, Tatsuha had been always been aloof with me. Now, I know why he was. Why he seems angry all the time whenever he talked to his older brother. Yuki had decided to divorce Miaka and marry me. He had loved me that much. And I was too far in love with him, that I could commit murder just to keep him.
I decided to close the house I bought with Yoh, Yuki accompanied me to check if I had turned off everything, and close down the house. I got no plans to sell it, thinking I can rent it out and make a good investment out of it. But I didn't voice that out to him, he knew that Yoh and I bought this house and yes, lived with him together. He was so jealous of him, and sometimes act like a child whenever Yoh's name gets involve in our conversation.
"Why don't you get rid of this house? We can always buy a bigger one and moved there. I was thinking that would be good once we got married." He said.
I stood there, not knowing what to say. He took my silence for something else, on came the mask.
"You don't want to get rid of this because you still love him, don't you?" he said, pissed off.
I panicked. We just got engaged, and now not even a day shy away from our announcement party, we are already arguing over a stupid house.
"Fine. Don't sell it." He said, and stormed out of the house.
"Yuki." I called after him, but I heard the screech of tires and motors gunned. That was two days ago.
He didn't come home for two days. Tatsuha came to the house, to get his laptop. I was persistent to find out where Yuki was, he got angry and blurted out, "He is with his wife, of course!" he said, and regretted it, he grew quiet, and finished packing the stuff his brother had asked him to pick up. "I'm sorry." He said. I was too stunned. I just nodded.
I didn't run after him. I was contemplating whether to stay at this house, where we called our home for the past two years or go back to my house. I cried for those two days, and decided to go back to my house, packed clothes and left. That's when Miaka called. The wife.
"Eiri wanted me to sign the divorce papers. I know it's my fault, that I haven't been there for him. That he had loved you more, more than he could ever loved me." She said, with tears in her voice but her eyes were dry and cool.
She reached out and touched my hand across the table, "I'm pregnant. And I want Eiri and I to keep this baby. Please let my husband go." She begged.
I comforted her, and assured there that I would go home now and get the rest of my stuff and promised not to see Yuki again.
A month has passed, I didn't hear from Yuki, he never called and asked why I moved out. I guess, Tatsuha told him that he blurted out and told me he was married and that was the reason why I moved out. But it wasn't for Yuki alone, because he is married. I had realized I would continue being his lover if he asked me to, but Ayaka. Ayaka begged me, for their unborn child. That would be too much for my conscience to take. So I stayed away from him as much as possible.
During that month, I crossed path with Yoh. I was devastated when he told me the news that my former personnel assistant, his girlfriend died in an accident. He had asked for my forgiveness from the both of them. I had longed forgiven him when I started living with Yuki. We became friends again, and he would stop by the house now and then, he would sometimes sleep over but on a separate bed. Our relationship is better now than before. But we have realized one thing though, we could never go back to what we are and how we had been. We have signed the paper works, he transferred the title to the house back to me, the house is completely all mine now.
Here I was again, back to where I started. Alone. I had loved two men in my entire lifetime. One betrayed me for a woman, and one left me for one.
I ran into him at the studio, and liked the first time we met, I bumped into him. But not by accident, I was too stunned when I saw him that I almost fallen on my feet just the mere sight of him.
"We need to talk, brat." He said, gently, grabbing my arm.
"No, Yuki. There's nothing to talk about, I understand, I'm not angry with you." I said, literarily leaning to him, my legs turned to silly putty.
"I never loved Ayaka as much as I loved you, let's see each other one more time, let's start all over again. I want to make it permanent with you, brat, I want to marry you, I have divorced her." He said, his eyes pleading, I saw that he lost a lot of weight, and there were dark circles around his eyes.
"No, no, Yuki. She needs you. The-" I stopped short, not wanting to tell him I know about the baby or he would be pissed with Ayaka and might harm her.
"But I need you!" he shouted angrily, grabbing me in a tight embraced and kissed me hard, taking my breathe and part of myself along with that kiss.
I felt myself being pushed and I heard blows exchanged. I saw a blur of Yoh and Yuki punching each other. "No, no, no! Stop!" I screamed, and passed out from lack of sleep and exhaustion.
I was in the hospital, and when I woke up, I found Yuki by my bedside, sleeping. I touched the blond hair, and he stirred and looked up, he was sporting a bruise where Yoh hit him. Yoh was sitting there. He got up and gave me a nod and left us to talk.
"How are you feeling, brat?" he asked, gently, getting up and kissing me, gently this time.
"I'm-I'm fine. You need to go home to your family, Yuki. They might be worried about you." I said, tears welling up my eyes.
"But you are my family, brat. You had always has been, ever since I met you, my life began, I had no life before you, and you made me realized of my existence because you had constantly stayed by my side, supported and loved me, overlooked all my flaws and accepted them as part of me." Yuki said, as he continually to brush my hair.
"But you are married, Yuki. As a monk, and a man, that is your duty, you have vowed to stay by her and be with her. She needs you now more than ever." I said.
"Why do you keep pushing me away?" he asked suddenly, a bit angry.
"I-I don't love you anymore, Yuki. I got back together with Yoh, when I found out you were married, Yoh comforted me, and I realized I still love him, you were right. The reason why I never sold the house is because I was hoping he would still come back." I said, lying. My voice was shaking, but I lied anyway.
He was about to slap me, but he punched the wall next to my bed instead. He didn't say anything and bumped into Yoh by the door, he pushed Yoh but Yoh didn't push back, he knew what happened and I already told him the story and he told me I can use him as an excuse to break up with Yuki. Yoh walked up to my bed. He smiled, and wiped my tears away.
"It would be alright, you did the right thing." He said, comforting me.
I just cried harder, emptying my soul, washing away my hurt inside. I want to forget Yuki. But I don't think I could. So I had vowed to love him, and keep him in my heart. My fist clenched, the ring around my finger hurt, but I welcomed it, its my constant reminder that there was a time, I was a "wife", that THE Yuki Eiri had loved me and had proposed to me.
Five years went by, I retired from the music business and decided to study music instead to teach. I migrated to America. Yoh had stayed at the house, he said, he would look after it for me just in case I decided to go back to Japan I would have a home to come back to. I was in Central Park in New York, there was a young boy playing there, he's got blond hair and fair skin. He was laughing as his father, a guy with a matching blond hair who's back was turned to me, toss a ball with him. I smiled. Reminiscing as I watched the boy, fascinated, he just look exactly like Yuki, he's like a mini Yuki.
"Papa! Papa, catch!" he called gleefully, tossing the ball with his tiny hands. The ball went flying and landed on my feet. I looked down and was about to toss it back to the father and son. My head snapped back when I heard the voice and the name.
"Wait here Shuichi, papa would get the ball." The voice said, when I looked up, I was staring at my arrogant angel from my past.
"Y-Yuki." I croaked.
The boy ran to him and hugged his leg. Yuki smiled down at me, we were both frozen, looking at each other. "Brat." He greeted me, touching my hair, then my face.
"Papa, who is he?" the boy asked, matching pair of light brown eyes looked at me.
Yuki lifted the boy so we can look at each other, "This is papa's best friend, I haven't seen him in a long while." Yuki said.
The mini Yuki poked my chest. I laughed. "Hi." I greeted.
Yuki smirked, "Shuichi Shindou, meet my son, Shuichi Eiri." He said, smiling at me.
The boy gasped, "We have the same name?" he asked.
I was surprised too, I blushed deep red but couldn't say anything.
"Actually, I named you after him." Yuki replied.
We talked for awhile as we watched little Shuichi play some more. I half expected that Ayaka is somewhere. But later Yuki told me that Ayaka left him after a few months of giving birth. It didn't work out between the two of them. He asked about Yoh, so I decided to exorcised my demons and told him the truth why I broke up with him.
"I don't want to break up your family, Yuki. That's why I lied. Yoh and I are just friends, we could never go back to what we were when we first started. Its not the same like what we used to have." I said.
"You should have explained that to me, I would have understand instead of lying to me. You should have told me you knew about my son." He said.
But its all talk now, we didn't blame anyone for what had happened. We have both loved so strongly that we both loved so much that we decided to give each other up. He reached out and clasped my hand gently, I gave it a squeeze, I was so happy I wanted to cry.
"Papa, I'm hungry." Little Shuichi whined, walking up to him.
"Come on then." He said, and scooped the boy up in his arm. I couldn't imagine that Yuki would be a doting father. I had always thought that he didn't like kids. He looked at me. "Won't you join us for snacks? We live just close by, we could catch up on lost times." He said.
I smiled, and gathered my things. "I would like that." I said, and stood up and started walking beside him. I have this nervous and happy feeling at the pit of my stomach, looking up to him, absently fingering the ring that he gave me a years ago, I wish this time this could be real. Here, with Yuki. His son, me and him.
"Hug." The boy murmured sleepily. I was lost in thoughts, not until Yuki touched my shoulder.
"I think he likes you." He said. I looked up and saw the boy reaching out to me to take him, I did happily.
"Come here." I said, smiling, and when the boy hugged me, I fell in love all over again.
"Let's go home." Yuki said, as he put his arm around me. I glided the rest of the way to his apartment. Yes, one more time….one last time. And this time I hope this feeling, this picture of perfection would last in all my lifetime. A family. Ours. Yuki, Shuichi and me.
Owari