When Good Donuts Go Bad
By sprinkydonut and Nurse Mandi
Author's note
Sam: Mandi and I have ventured on an amazing journey. To write a humour fic via email. I dunno how this'll turn out, but if you've read fic by either of us, I can guarentee that it will be at least mildly insane. Well, more than that cause I'm on my second coke. Mandi came up with the plot, (and I wasn't on anything! ~ Mandi) but it is bound to end up totally crazy. Maybe what we expected, I dunno. But if you want to support both of us as authors, review. Really. And don't flame. Cause in the next chapter I'll be mean to you and in doing such, I'll boost my ego, therefore your flame will have, in essence, acted like a kind, nice review. A twisted mind can twist things into something it likes. Remember that.
Oh and since this makes people happy, I'll say stuff.
Mandi: Thanks for writing this with me.
Tara: Thanks for being my first, truly insane friend.
NaNa: Thanks for being a psychotic goddess with me. It's fun!
And other people too, thank you. You know who you are. (Yes, I know, I write long A/Ns. Meh.)
*My friends don't even tolerate ER. They hate it. But I'm going into high school. Chances are, I'll meet a semi-ER lover, which is good enough. Other than that, I'm going to talk about many funny bits here.
Mandi: I owe my sucess to nobody. NOBODY. Just ME. Me and my brilliant mind. I am special. Oh what, I'm not? PROVE ME WRONG! Haha, you can't. Just a note: Pwease, don't flame us. *Puppy Eyes* If you do, I will delete it. Or Sam will. I don't mind the flames, but I think since I am writing part this story, there will be nothing to flame...Because I'm just that good. Read my stuff. You'll see.
*~*CRAZY*~*
Disclamer: Ooh! The best part! In a perfect world, I'd own the cast of ER. But since the world isn't perfect and slavery has been abolished, I will have to admit, I don't own them. TPTB owns them. Too bad. I guess I can't get a really hot butler. *cough* Carter! *cough* But I can make fics! And puppet shows! (Tara, I know you're laughing. That was stupid.)
Disclaimer: I'm sad because I watched my tape of Mars Attacks so much it broke. Wah. In the midst of the tears, I wrote a great poem disclaimer:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I don't own ER (yet!)
So please, do not sue
Disclaimer: That poem belongs to ME.
Disclaimer: I belong to me too.
Disclaimer: The donut mutants are mine too.
A/N: This is the strangest story I've ever done. Ever. Don't let it ruin my reputation as a good writer. It won't, but please don't.
And Sam...PUPPET SHOWS!?!?!? sick sick sick...
*~*CRAZY*~*
Chapter ONE ~Tim and the Donut factory
The day was misty and dark. A wolf howled. A bat flew through the air. A lonely, sad, depressed boy walked along the sidewalk. He was Tim, one of the kids from the magic schoolbus gang. He was a social outcast. At least, behind the scenes.
He walked into a big building. It said: DONUT FACTORY.
Tim: I wonder what this is?
*A big letter D falls on him*
Tim: It's a building full of sprinkles! And cream! And bread! I think I'm in heaven.
*A donut falls on him*
Tim: I'm not in heaven. Where am I?
A sign falls in front of him. It reads :WELCOME TO THE DONUT FACTORY
Tim: Oh, I think I'm in a donut factory.
Tim hears voices. Not the normal ones that tell him to burn things, but a new voice.
Voice: It's the only way...
New Voice: We will attack...
Tim: Who could that be?
Voice: We are the Dougnut Mutants from Canada
Tim: Where?
Donut Mutant: Canada
Tim: Never heard of it
Donut Mutant: *showing Tim a map* We are there!!!! See that large country right there? It takes up a quarter of the map! There's even a song about it! I mean, it's the second biggest country in the world!! How can you "never hear about it?!" Huh?! HUH?!
Tim: Whatever. Can I eat you?
Mutant Dounut: No!! We are forming a plan to infect the whole world with a sickness that turns them into donuts...*gets an idea* I mean, sure. You can eat us. ALL of us.
*Tim eats all the glowing dounut hybreds. He gets sick. He calls 911.*
About two miles away, County General got a phone call.
Weaver: Okay, we have a poison donut ingestion! Abby, Carter, Luka, take it! The patient appears a bit...doughy...
Susan: What about ME?! I loooove donuts!! I live for donuts! You should see my apartment!
Luka: Well, we're the ones who got the poison donut case. Not you.
Carter: Wait! I don't think you're even on today! I thought you had the day off.
Abby: No one in their sane mind would come here if they don't have to.
Susan: Come on! Do I look sane to you?
Everyone kind of waits there, staring at her, in an awkward silence.
Susan: *very quietly* I don't think I should have said that...
Susan grabs the donut out of Frank's hand and briskly walks out of the ER.
Carter: Well... That was... um...
But Carter doesn't have time to finish the sentence that I doubt he would have finished anyways, because a guerney bursts through the double doors, holding a giant donut. Double chocolate.
Abby: Why is there a giant donut on the guerney?
Her question is answered by the donut itself. He opens his eyes, revealing that...
Luka: The donut is alive!
Crazy guy in chairs: We're all going to die!
Chaos breaks out in County General's ER. People are running around, trying to get out. Some try burst the doors open by pushing on them with a guerney because they don't realize you have to push. But as usual, Carter is there to save the day. He grabs the microphone and begins to speak. Just like he did in Lockdown.
Carter: Everybody! Please calm down! There is no need to panic. I understand that a living donut is pretty frightening, but he is a patient none the less. I assure you, necessary precautions will be taken to assure your safety.
Another crazy guy: How?
Carter: Well...
Jerry: We could bring in Susan if he does anything stupid!
The crowd erupts in cheers. They seem contented knowing that Susan Lewis will be there to protect them. Her and her immense love for donuts.
Weaver: Everybody, get back to work! Carter? Abby? Luka? Go deal with the donut. Figure out why the donut is alive.
Luka: Okay.
Carter: Sir?!? Can you tell me your name?
Donut: Donut
Carter: We know what you are . What's your name?
Donut: I...I can't tell you. It's a secret. *sad piano music*
*Carter gets that look. You know, that look. The Mr.Hero look. Yeah. (The super hot look! ~Sam.)*
Carter: Abby, Luka, why don't you leave? I need to talk to...donut alone
*Luka and Abby look at each other. Abby rolls her eyes. Luka broods.*
Luka: No, you've had enough time in the spotlight
Abby: It's our turn
Carter: Nuh uh, this is my turn
Abby: You got the last one. Little boy, fishing hook, blender, remember?
Carter: No...
Luka: I get nothing. You realize that I went to Africa to get my spotlight, and you followed me? And you ended up looking like a wuss, going back to Abby...
Abby: I didn't even wake up
Carter: Because you were drunk
Abby: What did you say?
Carter: You. Were. Drunk.
Abby: That's it, come here! *Luka holds Abby back.*
Luka: I've come to the conclusion that everybody loves Carter *pout* and we want our turn in the spotlight
Carter: I'm not first in the credits for nothing you know
Abby: They just put you in so they could get it over with
Luka: First is the worse....
Carter: Is not!
Abby: Yes
Carter: No!
Abby: Yes
Carter: NO! WAH!
*Carter runs away*
Abby: I sooo showed him
Luka: What are you talking about? I was the one who made him cry
Abby: No
Luka: Yes!
Donut: I'm dieing
Abby: No!
Luka: Yes!
Donut's monitor: BEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Abby: No!
Luka: Yes!
Abby: No!
Luka: Yes!
Abby: No!
Luka: Yes!
Abby: No!
Luka: Yes!
Abby: No!
Luka: Yes!
Abby: No!
Luka: Yes!
Abby: No!
Luka: Yes!
Weaver: Oh my God, the donut is dead!
*Luka and Abby look at the donut. He looks stale. But delicious.*
Chen: Yummy, a donut! *she starts eating Tim*
Abby: NO!
Patient 1: I want some!
Patient 5: Me too
Patient 27484647585836398505756: It's mine!
Luka: Great.....
*As Thunder claps, the power goes out. When it flickers back on, everyone in the room is a donut.
The only people who aren't are Abby, Luka, Carter, Weaver, Randi the desk clerk and a patient whose name is Fiona.*
Luka: We need to get away!
Abby: Where do we go?
Carter: To my farm!
Randi: Huh?
Carter: Lets get in my 'jalopy' and drive there!
Fiona: Can I come?
Carter: Why not ? I've picked up strangers before!
Luka: That was me, Carter, you spotlight stealer
Randi: Lets go to the farm!
THE END od chapter one...Or is it? It is....Or is it? No, it is.