Dear all Umbrella Corporation employees,
Hello, I am Dr. Marcus. I am the general manager of the Umbrella Corp. I would like you all to know how much I loathe each and every one of you. It seems to me that your soul purpose in life us to make my research difficult for me… SCREW YOU!!! There are only a select few of you that I would have chosen to assist me with my precious research… but seeing as how I am a paranoid schizophrenic, I decided no to trust anyone with my children… after all, I created them. Just so all of you know, I am a sick, twisted psycho who kidnaps and tortures people and animals just for the hell of it! But don't be concerned for your own safety because, trust me… you won't even see it coming! Muah ha ha ha ha ha!!! Ahem, well then, moving on… I really love leeches, they mean more to me than anything else in the world! If I could, I would marry them!
The actual point of this letter is to warn all of you stupid, mindless, worthless, employees that if you ever do anything that harms me, my leeches, or my corporation, you will soon find yourself sitting in a chair… and mind you, it will not be a comfortable or relaxing experience. Thank you all for your continuing support of Umbrella Corp.
Sincerely,
Dr. James Marcus a.k.a.- the twisted, crazy, mad, paranoid, psycho guy!