Authors note.
Hey my super sexy readers, I am trying out this story as a one shot, but I have a few different twist I can add to it if anyone wants me to expand it. I can add more drama and dimension as well as some lemons.
Read, Review, and Let Me Know!
Words Slowly Killing Me
I laid in the mud covered earth, wallowing in my depression.
He left me. I thought sadly. He is gone and he does not miss me, because all I ever was was a toy. I was just a play thingy to him. My sorrowful thoughts turned into an angry marathon. HE WAS USING ME. HE DESTROYED ME!
I was so upset but I could not force my body to work. I wanted to chase him down, rip him to shreds, and set him on fire, but at the same time I wanted to kiss and love him. I knew he did not want me. He had told me as much seconds earlier, but god I wanted him.
Tears poured down,
When his words came out.
Everything he said,
Was just another doubt.
After lord knows how long my angry thoughts shut down, my eyelids fell, and I slept in a cover of mud, leaves, and twigs. My dreams were plagued by his perfect face, his perfect smile, his perfect laugh, his perfect outlook, his….I felt a jostle wake me up and I began to thrash around. I just wanted to sleep.
She was never good enough,
Not even for her.
But now her dreams,
Flew by broken by a slur.
"Please." I begged "Please let me dream of my horrible angel. I need him! I….I" By this point I was wailing. I could not function without my angel.
I watched as a doctor slowly slid a needle into my wild arm. I tried to keep it away and fight it off, but the doctor was persistent and soon beat me. I looked to my dad for help. "Charlie stop him and let me dream please…I..l…I cannot-t live like this. Please just m-make…him…him go." I slurred slowly as they made me sleep.
I could hear Charlie's strangled cries as I drifted off, but all I could think about was how soon I would reunite with the angel in my dreams.
We were standing in our meadow and my golden eyed god was planting soft kisses on my face. He was whispering sweet words of love and my body was practically singing to him. He repeated over and over again how much he loved me and how he would always be there for me. The dream was so sweet and I never wanted it to end. Sadly it did though.
My meadow soon transformed into the hideous forest behind my home. I was walking with a silent Edward and soon we were stopped.
He told me he was leaving. He said I had to stay. I tried to tell him I could not, that I had to be with him, but that was not what he wanted to hear. He finally-after all these months- told me the truth. He never loved me. It was all a lie. I was just a distraction in his eternal life. I was a simple speed bump.
He said he loved her,
Then took it right back!
He said he cared,
But said it to attack!
I cried and cried as I watched him leave. I knew he would never return. I was too pathetic, too ugly, and too human. I was not up to his inhumanly perfect perfection. My hair was not straight enough, my eyes not big enough. I was worthless. I was trash.
One tear at a time,
Stained her pretty face.
No one knew she was so fragile,
Like a thin piece of lace.
For months my dreams continued in this manner. I was living on the verge of death. I was trying to be good for Charlie. I knew he needed me so much, but there is only so much one person can take. My eternal struggles soon became too much. I had to end it all. I would never again be happy. So I went and found Charlie's sharpest blade and allowed it to kiss my arm as I thought of Edward.
She stared at the knife,
As a tear hit the ground,
Would she dare use it,
When it once spread her feelings around ?
She used to cut but stopped.
And was happy for a while.
But he killed her!
With his first smile.
He was my life, my love, my eternal joy, and he left me like I was nothing. I had not smiled since that day and other than madness I had not been able to feel anything but sorrow.
Edward had been the perfect man…vampire. He was kind, smart, funny, loving, handsome. He had given her a huge family even if he would never give her children. He had made her so happy, but then he had stolen that happiness. He took it all away like it was jewelry and he was a thief. He left her with nothing. WHY? She was not bullet proof…or knife proof.
She wondered why,
He would make her cry?
Make her not want to live,
But die?
With a tear stained face,
She took her life.
Killed herself,
With an already used knife.
She had done the unimaginable and ended her suffering. She was finally feeling happy when she felt the life ebbing out of her body. The life Edward had unknowingly stolen. The blood was just a symbol of that life. He had craved her blood and when she slit her wrist she was granting him that wish. She was letting Edwards memory kill her like Edward use to want to.
I wonder if that was all a lie to. She thought stonily.
She thought she heard cursing and clattering in the distance but she wasn't sure. St this point she was too far gone.
She did it for love,
Her tears said it all,
He was her depression,
When he pretended to fall.
No more tears,
On her tear stained face,
Nothing left,
But her misery that took place
Authors note
So so tempted to end it there, but that would not be nice. Plus I like the happy endings. So I will add one more chapter. XOXOXOXOXO