Chapter One: Little House

When your life has reached rock bottom and everything you've cared for has been lost, what will you do? Will you fight to get back your life or will you give in to the despair that has begun to consume you?

And even if you do give up, can one person reach in and save you, changing your life? Or are you bound to be lost either way?

Robin stared down into the icy depths below her and wondered why it had to end like this.

She shivered as the cold, winter air passed through her flimsy jacket and the moon hung over her, radiating no warmth or comfort. It didn't matter either way. She had felt cold inside for months, completely numb.

She vaguely remembers the times that there was hope in her life. Love. Then she had thought that the happiness she had felt with him would never fade. That the rest of her life would be perfect and safe.

She couldn't have known how wrong she was.

Now she sat on the Port Charles docks, contemplating what she would do next with her life even though she already knew the answer. All she had to do was find the strength to go through with it.

It was just then that she looked down and realized she was sobbing, her body racking with the tears that had begun to consume her soul, her life. She could hardly tell nowadays when she was or was not crying because the tears that dropped from her deep, brown eyes never seemed to stop. She had so many reasons to be sad or angry and she could hardly think of one reason to smile or be happy.

There was so much that had gotten screwed up in the past few months and she knew she could never fix it. She couldn't turn back the clock and go back to when she was okay. And she couldn't end the despair gnawing at her heart at every, waking moment.

Or could she?

She puts her arms around her legs and holds on tight to herself as she rests her heavy head on her knees.

She struggles to hold onto herself because she knew that emotionally she was falling, sinking, down into the cold, empty abyss that had suddenly become her life. She could almost see its darkness symbolized, underneath the water, at the bottom of the ocean. The loneliness that had become her.

She knew that someday she would end up there if she wasn't already. So why not take the first step?

She laughs bitterly at the fact that on this same spot she had so many good moments and memories with her family, her friends...even him. But now all the moments had faded, the memories plaguing her with all she had lost.

But could she really blame anyone but herself? She had brought them to this point, she must have, and she shakes her head guiltily at what she has done. She had hardly known her life was spiraling down until she had finally hit rock bottom. Now she almost wished she could find a way to climb back up.

Almost.

If he was here with me he would have lifted up my chin and told me he still loved me. That I didn't have to do this to myself anymore and that I could start my life fresh with him.

Or maybe he'd just be disgusted, ashamed, at what I've done. What I've become. Maybe he'd just stare in to my eyes with a whole new look. The love that used to brighten them, now masked, dark with pity and anger, his eyes resembling coal... Maybe he would have passed me by.

I'll never know.

When did I become so destructive with my life, she wondered. I used to live life in the moment, and to the fullest, but now its different. So much has changed. I've become accustomed to waiting for the other shoe to drop or my life to spiral out of control.

Or even worse I've begun to hurt myself before anyone else can hurt me. To take the initiative and accept all the pain and the anguish. Embrace it.

Did it really make it better? She couldn't answer that question. All she knew was that she wanted to curl up into a ball and die. It was too hard living in this world and going through what she'd been through.

Especially going through it alone. She couldn't take it anymore.

It needed to be over. And only she could end it.

Its then when she remembers the bulge in her pocket and takes the object out, holding it in the palm of her hand. She turns the cold steel in her hand a few times, getting the feel of it.

She was holding a .45 caliber pistol. It was small but lethal; just what she needed.

She gets a faraway look in her eyes as she remembers the time when Jason taught her how to shoot so many years ago. She didn't want to learn how to hurt people back then. The love and hope in her heart had yet to fade and all she wanted was for others to feel the way she felt. She never wanted to hurt anyone.

But he said she must learn to protect herself. So he showed her how easy it was to slip off the safety with a flick of a finger. Then aim and fire. It was so simple he said and he felt better knowing that she could protect herself from the people who would eventually try to hurt her in life.

If only he knew that one day she'd be aiming it at herself.

As she begins to say her mental goodbyes to the few still left, she pauses when she began to think of him, her last love. Him and one other person that she loved so deeply it now hurt to think about. Her heart freezes as all the memories that have haunted her at every waking moment, every nightmare, come flooding back. I never meant to...

Don't do this, Robin. It's almost over. Just do what you have to do and end it. It could all be better in minutes, seconds if you want. You can't keep living like this. They keep saying it'll get better but it never will. You know that.

She was finding it hard to breathe any longer as her body, completely over raught with pain, overwhelmed her. Her heart had been wrenched from its place in her soul.

She was so sick of it all. Of waiting for tomorrow to be better when she knew it never would. Of holding on to the small part of herself that was still left. Of even waking up every morning as the painful realization of what her world had become set in. Her heart ached as she realized something, what would happen if she didn't go through with it.

It would only go down from here.

So she aims the gun at herself, tears flowing freely, uncontrollably from her eyes, completely distorting her vision. She pulls the trigger.

As she does this she simultaneously hears a voice calling for her, yelling frantically, "ROBIN!!!

The same voice that she had ached to hear all along. But was it a dream? It has to be. How could he be here?

Robin struggles to find the answers as it all goes black.

Heaven forbid she was dead and that it would all be over. Heaven forbid that she'd be deprived of her second chance or that he wouldn't reach her in time. But maybe, just maybe, heaven had nothing to do with it. Maybe what happened next was all up to her.

Authors Note: So what do you think? Does anybody want me to continue? Any comments, positive or negative will be appreciated.

In case anyone is wondering about the title or story in general, listen to 'Little House' by The Fray on Youtube or something. This song is what inspired the story. If you want to know what happened that could possibly drive Robin to this point, keep reading. After chapter one, this story will go back in time, a few months before, to explain the many reasons why Robin got to this point and whether or not she can get her life back. Patrick will be involved and you'll see how in the coming chapters. Thanks for reading!