Pretty Boy

By Avalon Estel

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: I love, love, love, love Haku. I cried so hard when he died. But…I can't ignore how feminine he looked, and one day, this plot bunny was born.

Haku walked down the dusty path, a basket of fruit in his hands. He had removed his mask; it was much too hot out to be wearing it. He smiled, thinking of how lucky he was that Zabuza was able to carry out assassinations that would bring in money, because otherwise, they wouldn't be able to buy food, and they would subsequently starve.

"Hey, lady!" he heard a child's voice call.

As the child wasn't talking to him, Haku kept walking.

"I said, 'hey, lady'!" the voice repeated.

Haku halted suddenly as someone grabbed the back of his jacket.

"I'm talking to you, lady!"

Haku realized that the child was talking to him, much to his dismay. He sighed. He was getting tired of telling people that he wasn't female. He turned to look at the boy.

"Excuse me," he began politely. "I am not a lady."

"Oh, sorry. I mean girl," the boy amended, smiling. "I was wondering if you wanted me to help you carry that basket."

"That's a very kind offer, and I appreciate it, but no, thank you." Haku smiled pleasantly. "I'm not a girl, either. I'm not female at all."

The boy began giggling. "You're funny, miss. You're so pretty; how could anyone ever believe you're not a girl?"

"Because I'm not a girl," Haku said patiently. He was used to this reaction.

The boy snorted with laughter.

Haku sighed and laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Listen carefully. I…am…not…a…girl," he said, stretching the words out to make sure the child understood. "My name is Haku, and I am a boy."

Now the boy looked annoyed. "Look, sister, it started out funny. It's not funny anymore. I'm not that stupid."

Haku sighed again. He was getting terribly frustrated. "Please stop saying that. I'm a boy."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"Are not."

"Am too."

"Are not."

"Am too."

"I would know whether I'm a girl or not," Haku said.

"Then prove it," the boy challenged.

Haku sighed a bit more forcefully. He was starting to get very angry, in his own calm way. "This isn't worth the time. Zabuza's waiting for me." He picked up the basket and started walking away.

"Bye, miss!" the child called.

"I'm not a girl!" Haku called back.

"Su-u-u-re…" the boy replied.

Just then, Zabuza came out of the forest to Haku's left.

"Well, boy," he said, "what's taking so long?"

"I'm sorry, Zabuza," Haku apologized. He looked pointedly back at the boy. "I got a bit distracted."

The boy was standing there in the middle of the road, gaping at the duo.

"Who's that?" asked Zabuza, pointing his massive sword at him.

"Oh, a good citizen who stopped to chat," Haku explained, waving back at the gawking child.

"You're such a pain sometimes, boy," Zabuza said, rolling his eyes. "We don't have time for this idiocy."

"I'm sorry again, Zabuza."

"Forget it. Let's go."

As Zabuza and Haku walked away, the boy called, "Well, you're the prettiest boy I ever met in my whole life!"

Haku didn't reply. He heard that too much to even think about it anymore.

"He was talking about you, right?" asked Zabuza.

"Yes," Haku affirmed.

"I always told you you were too darn pretty. You should cut your hair or something. Won't look like such a girl that way."

"We'll see."