Honor never was more deceiving.
PG
Achilles contemplates his slaying of Hector back in his tent. He thinks of the motive and if killing Hector really was worth it.
I killed him. I heard her. She's crying. The baby's screaming. The people are crying out. I killed their prince, their pride and joy, Hector. The tamer of horses, the future king of Troy. Why? Why did I take away a life like his, what did he do to me? He killed Patroclus, I must not forget that. He killed my beloved cousin and dear friend. But still Hector didn't mean it, did he? He did I know he did, what does he care what he does and to whom he does it. He took away my joys with that slit he made in Patroclus's throat, my throat. He killed him, he killed me. I don't even recognize what I've become, what I did. Yesterday I was fine, ready to leave back to Greece with Briseis today, I killed her cousin, I killed Hector. I'll never forget that moment, the moment that I took his life, the moment my blade met his heart, the moment he hit the ground. I was like a person possessed, I didn't even know what the rope was doing in my hands. I was tying him to my chariot, as I heard her screams, her cries, her pleas and her baby's cries. It will ring in my ears forever as a bittersweet reminder of the life that I stole. The life that belonged to Hector. I dragged his body to my camp, the people gathered around in amazement and desecrated his body more than I had done. They stabbed him and threw rocks at him, they took out all their anger out on this prince of Troy, Hector. What did I do, I watched and cheered almost as if there desecration made killing Hector okay. It was like the more they did the more grief left me, the more I saw a justification in what I had done. I stopped them, for they had done enough for one day. I wanted to show this to Agamemnon to show him that I was able to do something that he wasn't able to do, I killed Hector. I went in my tent, my heart stopped. I heard her cry, I heard her scream and all my sorrow and grief came back. I killed a noble man, and I ruined the relationship that I had with the one person that loved me, that I loved. No! I loved Patroclus. But oh my Briseis, her hair, her eyes, her fiery and vibrant personality that I loved, was ruined. I will never forget seeing her lying in a corner of my tent, tear stained cheeks, tousled hair, bruises on her neck where I had choked her. And for what, to defend my honor, Patroclus' honor. Those screams, her tears, the baby's cries, will forever ring through my head. Honor never was more deceiving than the day that I took the prince of Troy's life away, Hectors life, Briseis' life, Andromache's life, Troy's life, my life.
The end.