A/N: Hiiiii! This is my first ever fanfic. This is just a little snippet of whats to come. I hope you guys enjoy it.
I'm terrified. I'm terrified of being left. I'm terrified of being abandoned by someone who meant everything to me. I'm terrified of the darkness that will swallow me up whole as I watch another person walk out of my life and take another piece of my fragile heart with them. But I'm used to it. I've watched so many people enter my life and tell me that "they'll always be there", and that "they'll never leave me". But it still hurts so much every time they break their promises and go back on their words. But the thing that hurts the most is knowing that I fell for the same lies all over again, that I had a second chance with someone new and that I messed it all up. And no matter how much I tell myself next time will be different, it never is. I didn't want to feel the hurt of abandonment again, so I put up wall. Walls so high and impenetrable that not even I knew if they could be destroyed. I became heartless. I threw people off with my attitude and dirty looks. I gave up on forming new bonds and relationships with people. I forced myself to rely on nobody not even myself. I resorted to any means to keep people away. I isolated myself from everyone and anything, cared about nothing except my health and education. I forced myself to never allow myself to fall for someone's word or action ever again. And even though I knew I was pushing away and hurting the few who stayed by my side no matter how distant I became, it didn't matter. Yet every night I'd still go home and cry myself to sleep, wishing, hoping, praying that someone would come into my life and change my view on life and on love. Someone who wouldn't leave me just like everyone else had. But no one came. I waited and waited and waited yet no one came. So I gave up, I continued acting like a bitch, never believing anything anyone said and not caring about the people I was hurting in the process. That was working until someone came into my life unexpected, saw straight my tough girl façade and broke down my walls as if it was nothing, without me even knowing. I went back on the promise I made to myself all those years ago and fell for them. I fell for his smile, his words, the way he would comfort me when I felt like everything was going wrong. I found solace in his arms and in the look in his eyes. He managed the impossible. He made me forget. I was no longer the person I wanted to me, I was no longer guarded and defensive. I began to smile more, to laugh more, and to sing, to paint and enjoy life more. But most importantly I began to love and trust once more.
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this little, minuscule chapter. This has been sitting on my laptop for like agessssssss and this is the first time I've felt brave enough to publish it. More will come very very soon my darlings. Please please pretty please review. I would love your feedback, negative or positive I don't mind. Let me know what you think.
Thank you my lovelys. Until next time xo