Hello, my name is Lewis, and recently I got turned into a mermaid. Here is my journey.

One day I was walking, when my girlfriend, Cleo asked me to hang out at her house. I said okay. I followed her to her house, but then a scary gangster yelled, "Stop!"

"No!" I yelled back. I was not going to be fooled by this gangster, I knew he was not my friend. He grabbed me and yelled, "you have to do what I say, because I'm Jake 69, and I'm an alcoholic!" I tried to get out of his yucky hands, and succeeded. He ran away yelling weird things about something called 'Death Row'. What the hell is Death Row? Sounds like a gang with a bunch of fat men who have invisible wives. Cleo looks at me and says, "was that your friend?"

"NO!" I yelled, I mean; really, what's wrong with her? The guy GRABBED ME WITH HIS YUCKY HANDS! HELLO!

"My house! My house!" Cleo's house had a really big hole in it. Normally, I'd make some kind of joke about where the hole was, but Cleo looked too disturbed. When we got closer, we saw a weird lady grabbing Emma's hand.

"Freeze it! Make it burst!" She yelled in her ear.

"I don't even KNOW you!" Emma yelled. But continued to destroy Cleo's house, piece by piece.

"MY HOUSE! WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!" Cleo screamed.

"I have to make a deal with Jake69. If I steal all of the money from the crew bank, MAYBE HE'D UNDERSTAND!" Icequeen screamed, she was the weird lady, I found out afterwards.

"Woah, Lewy. Maybe you should hook up with Brodlum after Pre-K," Cleo laughed.

"I KNOW WHO THEPOOP IS! I KNOW WHO HE IS! IT'S STICKEE!" I yell.

I know it's him; everytime he logs on, thepoop8 comes on right SOUTHERN MO MA. Oh, silly me; I've strayed from the main plot again, whoopsie.

Anyway, so after the whole Cleo's destroyed house fiasco, I went to the moonpool, since all the girls relax there and extort everyone. I wanted to see if it was a cool place, because I forgot. I also forgot it was a full moon and turned into a merman. After I dried, I realized I had to steal a car and getaway. I used grand auto theft. Then I committed petty crimes like stealing candy from a child. I realized I was still a wannabe, so I thought killing Brodlum would solve all my issues. I then attempted to shoot Brodlum. Reason: You smell like POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP. I killed him with only one bullet. I didn't even have a gun, I just chucked the thing at him. And BAM, he died. I GOT BRODLUM'S MONEY! YUAAAAAAAYAYAYYAAA LETS CELEBRATE.

Then some dude comes up after me when I stole a candy bar. He said 'bro, you gotta do better than this.' I said 'why?'

Then the random gangster guy said, "UGH YDOITRY?" I laughed, but then he hit me in the belly, and I yelled 'ow!'. I tried to use my mermaid magic on him, but I didn't know what power I had. It turns out I had a taser power. When I smacked him, I tased him. It was funny, but the girl standing nearby didn't think so.

"You can't be a gangster, girl!"

"Yes, I can. In fact that's my name, merman." She said, pointing at my tail.

"Oh. Okay." I said. She threw me on the sidewalk, then laughed.

Then this freak Xposed, who everyone thinks is an old player, slips, but is really just a noob, came up to me and started talking about weird British stuff. I got so bored that I killed him with a big rock, and then I extorted him., and stole all his cash from the bank. Then this weird looking girl, Dimentio came up to me. I was like, "Dimentio is a boy name, dumbass." She hit me in the head and I fell down. She looked like a jester.

Then themaster strolled around and told me he was the master. 'THe master at WUT? I shouted.' 'SEX?'

The master wuzz like, "Lol fashizzle manuzzle I am the master at being a white thug. Fear me, I have a XBOX Nintendo WII PS4 And I'm not afraid to quit Death Row and blame it at all on…'

"WHO?" I screamed, and kicked him in the face with my mermaid tail. SMAACCKKK!

Themaster fell off a building, and skyrocketed into space. He then found CodyAbanabgAng and together they made love on the moon and pooped into each other mouths.

Then this waco taco ran up to me and told me he had maracas up my ass. I screamed and jumped off a building, and tased myself, while blowing a whistle. Then a detective comes and he's like, "hey I found you! You have a billion dollar bounty, Mr. Lewis." Then I turned killed myself so I could take all the money, where I was greeted by thepoop-thepoop7, and also many versions of StreetJuli.

And that my friends, is the story of how I became a merman.

Jake69, StickeeSemen, I love you. JK YOU CAN SUCK MY ORANGES. You too, Mr. Taco.

Summary:

Hello, my friends, this is the true story of how I Lewis, became a merman with the help of a few gangster friends. Listen, and one day, you can be a merman, too! (My story might be considered a crackfic).