Smile, a degrassi fanfic

Okay, first shot at a fanfic, hope you enjoy.

The song in this fic is Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls, one of there best in my opinion. It doesn't really go with the theme or mood, but I guess it could fit...

I'm kind of afraid to post this, since I have no self confidence what-so-ever, but here it goes.

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

I remember the smile that had formed on my lips that night. It was one only she could bring out.

I remember the first time we talked. Actually talked. It had been like two years since the last time we had actually talked. And, those hadn't been the best conditions.

I remember the night perfectly. But, honestly, how couldn't I, it was our first kiss to.

We were laying on her trampoline. It was like eleven o'clock at night. I can't really remember how we got there, but it didn't matter. I remember the sky was littered with thousand upon thousands of stars. I remember that the moon had been full that night.

It was beautiful.

She was beautiful.

The whole damn thing was beautiful.

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

'Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

Ashley had always told me that she wasn't that bad, that she was nice once you got to know her. And, I hadn't believed her until that night when she told me everything.

And, I mean that she told me everything.

She had told me all about all of her friends, and their pasts, she told me that when she was fifteen she was raped, she went into great detail about Spinner, and how much of an ass he is. She told me about Matt, and she told me about her break up with Matt, she told me that her and Hazel never talk anymore because of Manny.

She told about the nightmares she has from things as stupid as a Freddy Krueger movie, to Dean, the guy who raped her. She told me how much she hated her brother for what he did to Marco, and how much she hated Rick for what he had done to Terri and Jimmy.

She told me about how much she had hoped she'd changed. She told me about how much she had hated herself for all the things she's done. She told me how much she wants to go back and do it again, she wants to go erase all the stupid lies, and the bitchy remarks that got her her reputation.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And, she listened when I told her everything.

About how I had almost stopped cutting, about Sean, and how much I hated him when he left; then I told her how much I still loved him when he left. I told her about how my mom used to be an alcoholic, but had changed. I told her about my dad, about what I really thought of everyone.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything seems like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

But, then something slipped. I told her too much.

I could instantly see her body jolt when I said that I liked her. I didn't wait for another reaction.

Right before I reached the forest green mats that lined the trampoline, I felt her hand pulling my arm back.

We had stayed that way for a while. I was on my knees, inches from the edge, desperately staring at the gate,and she was behind me, her warm breath sending chills down my body when it reached the back of my neck, and her small hand wrapped around my forearm.

She broke the paralysis that seemed to have fallen over us by turning me. I could feel her eyes desperately try to make contact with mine, but I refused to look up.

Eventually she asked me to repeat what I had said.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I was still looking down, but I answered her, telling her exactly how I felt.

Another pause fell over us, me still staring intently at her jean covered knees, and her still grasping my arm.

Now, I had, had two options. I could stay there, not moving, until, she finally left to run and tell Hazel that I was a lesbo, or I could give in and look at her. I had decided to take the latter, craning my neck up wards slightly until my green eyes connected with the warm features of her face. She looked speechless. Except not. Kind of like she was on the border of it.

I remember how a piece of blonde hair had fallen into her eyes, obstructing my view. And, I remember how much I wanted to put it back behind her ear. But I couldn't.

I remember the adrenaline like rush that buzzed through my body as I gazed into her beautiful eyes.

I remember how much I had wanted to kiss her at that point, but again, I couldn't.

She had already beaten me to the punch.

It was soft and quick kiss, but I remember that my breath had most certainly taken away.

I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When every thing's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

When she pulled back, she smiled. And then I smiled. And we had a happy friggin' time smiling.

We both had known that we were gonna have a tough rode ahead, but we didn't care. We had had and unspoken agreement not to mention such troubles that night.

I remember we had lied there until at least one in the morning. I remember the Canadian weather had not exactly friendly, but it had been decent enough. I remember that she had her hand over top of mine the whole night, our fingers intertwined.

And, I remember that I hadn't stop smiling for about a week after that. The smile only she could bring out. The smile that was meant for her and her only.

I just want you to know who I am

Well there it is! I don't expect a lot of reviews, since, A. Low Self-Esteem, and B. Not a lot of Pellie fans.

But if you do like Pellie, might I suggest Pretty Girl by KinseySix. Great story, and maybe some reviews will motivate her to UPDATE! There's a hint freaking hint for you Kinsey.

Oh, and sorry about the spacing, my comp sucks.