Don't you die on me,
You haven't made your peace
Live life, breathe, breathe
(Dark wings, within temptation)
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
His brother fell to the floor with a graceless thump after being viciously stabbed in the chest. Thor ran to him, but part of him knew it already too late. Knew that a wound like that was too grave, knew that Loki couldn't survive.
Loki was dying.
He was dying in the middle of a battlefield, bleeding out in his brother's arms.
Nobody thought it would end like this. Thor had imagined that Loki would die while they were facing each other, on some field on Asgard. He never thought his wayward brother would die defending him and his allies. Helping. Saving the world, saving the nine realms. He couldn't have done without him. Loki was so important. And now… His chest was open, slashed, and the blood from the wound making its way through his whole body and to the floor. Thor could feel it, as he tried to hold on to his brother. Tried to shake out the horror. The eyes were bright with tears, tears he could not stop from falling. So much pain. So much fear
Thor was desperately tried to stop the bleeding with his big hands, but the cut was too big. And Loki was fading before his eyes. He kept thinking.
-Don't do this, Loki. Please. You have to hold on. Don't do this. Don't go. Not again. Not now.
Hold on. Please, Loki –please, no.-
But Loki couldn't think properly, the taste of blood filling his mouth. There was so much pain. And he was apologizing, once and again, and again.
And Thor was getting really scared now because Loki wouldn't apologize like that if this wasn't the end. If he didn't feel like he wouldn't get any other chance at saying those words. And Thor was talking to him, too, but not really. His mind was overcome by fear and pain. And sorrow. Loki was suffering, so much, and he'd been wounded because of a plan he designed. Thor could feel the guilt there gnawing at him.
Thor was momentarily taken back to that horrible moment that felt so long ago, when his brother was falling on the Bifrost.
But then he heard those words...
"I didn't do it for him."
And Thor was filled with grief, again, because he felt he finally got his brother back, the one before the whole Jotun fiasco, the one that he loved so deeply and that had loved him, it was him, with his jokes and tricks, right there, and he was going to lose him. Because if Loki died -
(but he couldn't, he couldn't, Loki was his little brother, he couldn't die, not like this, not now, not ever, he was his brother, he needed him, he)
- it would be him who felt the burden of this loss, not Odin. It would be him who could never see him again. Never hear his laugh, never compensate for so many things that he'd done wrong. Loki. And he was crying now and the tears were falling on Loki. Loki, whose face had become now so white, with a grey tinge. He wouldn't last. This was the end.
His eyes closed, after fighting all he could.
Loki's eyes closed, and he was suddenly so still, and his skin still had that terrible color.
That was it.
He was dead.
Loki was no more.
"No!"
Thor screamed, grief-stricken, watching the still form of his brother. Loki. He was dead. He had just died in his arms. DIED. He had died saying he was sorry and that he hadn't done this for Odin - he had done it for him. DIED. And now he was dead. Just like their mother. Loki. Loki. Loki! (LOKI, NO, FOR ALL THE SOULS IN THE NINE REALMS, NO, DON'T BE DEAD, DON'T DO THIS, LOKI!) Loki. No. This couldn't be.
But it was.
Grief flooded him, every last bit of him. Thor hadn't wanted this, never. He wished he hadn't taking Loki with him. Wished he was evil still, trapped in that glass cage, playing him and his allies. Because then he would still be alive.
Loki can't be dead, he can't be, this has to be some trick, some illusion, but if it was, then how it didn't fade when I touched him? I had watched him die, had felt him die, this couldn't be, not Loki, I'm so sorry I brought into this, brother-
He saw Jane walking to him, with a sad expression. But she couldn't understand. She, as well as she might mean, would never know the pain Thor was in. The depth of his grief. The level of loss he had just experienced, the horror of watching Loki fade before his very eyes. She would never know.
And that was a good thing. Because Jane didn't need that burden. It wasn't her fault, and the last Thor wanted was make her feel guilty for what had happened. It was better if she didn't understand, if she didn't know the meaning of Loki's demise for him. He would not let her feel that pain, she deserved better.
So he took a page from Loki's book and acted. Acted like he remembered they were still in danger and that he was focused on the crisis. Acted like he wasn't torn apart inside. He would have time to mourn Loki properly, when he was alone, when this properly over. He would mourn him and try to ease this incredible pain in his heart.
But first, there was something that needed to be done.
First, he had to avenge him.
a/n: I loved this scene but I didn't like how unaffected Thor seemed after it. So I made a headcanon. And then a fic. Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are always welcome! I eagerly await your feedback ^^