Bittersweetly Never-ending
Notes: It's a very short, angsty p.o.v fic. I know which p.o.v I wrote it from, but I'm not telling you who's, 'cause it works from both. Enjoy, and lemme know what you think.
The life you left behind finds me in my sleep. I roll about in bed, my mind locked on created scenarios involving you. I wish I could ask your past to leave me be, but it knows me so well and I can't help missing you.
Last night I was in your house. Last night you were so kind to me, so gentle, so warm with your words. Last night I was still the woman you thought I was, I was sweeter, I was charming. Until you realised that the woman you'd dreamed I was, wasn't really real at all. Just a sweet figment of your creation. And some part of me wishes so deeply that I really was the woman you dreamed me to be. But I'm not, I never was. I never will be.
And so the cycle continues its circuit. The earth spins on axis, the water becomes steam and then storm clouds churn. The guitar strings fall out of tune and I twist them back into rhythm, the melodies always bring me back to you.
You have me. You have me doing this. You have me doing this thing where I remember. You have me doing this thing where I remember the things I deliberately took the time to forget.
We won't become grey together. We won't own a dog and take intimate walks with him through the quiet and the darkness. We won't start each morning together with one sweet kiss and freshly ground coffee. You will do these things with your new spouse, with your vows and wedding gifts. You will allow me to sink further out of your memory as I grow increasingly pained in my attempts to stop it.
And as you purposefully forget the things you remembered, your past will continue pressing its hot lips against my ear as I attempt to rest.
And so, sickeningly, the circuit keeps moving as it vowed.