Bella's Chance at Happiness; Volume 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or the characters, etc.
Author's Note: This is the sequel to Bella's Chance at Happiness. I know the last one ended rather abruptly, but I felt like the only way to reboot this story was to start completely fresh; so I decided on the sequel. So enjoy, R&R! Thanks!
Bella
I hesitated at my bedroom door for just a moment, waiting for Charlie to leave. I heard him mumble something to Jacob, but I heard no response. All I could think about was the look he had given me as he stormed off. I'd never seen him so angry at me before. I was terrified; not of him, but of breaking up with him. I didn't want him to leave me now.
I eventually found enough courage to leave me room and go downstairs. I walked slowly, shying away from the moment he would see me. What I had said to him was probably a bit harsh, and I felt guilty. I couldn't expect him to forgive me, not really. But I had to try.
"Bells -" he started when he saw me. He had been sitting at the kitchen table, but he stood up when I walked into the room. Jacob was different. His hair was short and his eyes were dark, but there was something else that I couldn't put my finger on.
"Jake, no," I stopped him. I didn't want him to break up with me before I even got a chance to apologise. "I'm sorry. Honest. I never meant to hurt you, or make you feel like you weren't as important to me as Edward was," I saw him wince at Edward's name, his nostrals flair.
"It's not that, Bells," he responded, trying to be soft. I could see his eyes were full of hurt as he stared at me deeply. The guilt washed over me.
"Then what is it?" I sounded stupid, and I felt even more guilty having to ask what it is that I've done. He shook his head, and leant over to kiss me lightly on the forehead.
"It's not you, it's not Edward. It's me. Everything has changed." he said, his voice was dark and thick. I felt my throat close up suddenly, and it felt as though my heart had stopped beating.
"The only thing that's changed is your hair," I pointed lazily up at his head, trying to smile. But he didn't see the joke. He just sighed.
"Bella; when I left you yesterday, all I wanted to do was come back and ask you to forgive me. Tell you that I've acted like an ass, and that we should stop all of this fighting. But I've had a very long, very tiring night. I've thought about a lot of things. And now I know that you and I can't be together. Not anymore. Not after all of this. I'm sorry," he said defiantly, still staring at me deeply. The words came at me strong and hard, and I felt nothing in his apology. What he said to me was cold and there was no love left in his voice.
Suddenly I longed for the woods again. All I wanted was to curl up beneath the trees and let the rain fall down over me, covering me, chilling me to the bone. I wanted to die there. I had gone from one heartache to another, and I was losing Edward all over again. Except it wasn't Edward this time; it was my sun. It was the one person who had made me feel like I belonged, and the one person I felt still loved me no matter what. But now that love was gone. He didn't love me anymore.
For a moment I just stared at him, empty, without a word to say. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable, so I turned away. I could feel tears forming at the pit of my eye, and I didn't want to make him feel any worse.
"Um, that's okay Jake, I understand. Um, I'll see you later, okay?" I croaked, before fleeing off up the stairs and leaving him alone in my kitchen. I slammed my door shut quickly behind me and fell onto my bed, burying my face in the pillows. Jake was leaving me now too. What was I supposed to do now?
I heard the door close as he left, but I didn't hear an engine. But that wasn't important. I felt sick, I felt like throwing up. I needed Edward; I needed him now. Just a little while ago I'd given up my chance to be with him again. I didn't want to be with him again then. But now, now that Jacob was gone, I wanted him again. Who else could I turn to?
I closed my eyes and imagined I was with Edward again. We were laughing, kissing, smiling. But his face soon turned into Jake's, and the kissing turned into much more. Tears flowed from my eyes as I remembered everything we'd been through, and how stupid I had been to let him leave. I should have fought for him. I should have told him how I felt, that I still needed him. In truth, I still needed him to chase the memories of Edward away. But now, who will chase away the memories of Jake. I didn't want anybody to chase those memories away. I wanted to make new memories.
I was a mess. I needed him. I needed him back so badly. What had changed? What's happened to make him change his mind about me so quickly?