Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, or any of the Bleach characters used in this fic. They all belong to Tite Kubo: the genius behind the captivating manga that started it all. I only own any of my original characters that I choose to include, as well as any of my own original plot ideas.

Dangerous Curiosity

It hadn't been an easy task, sneaking into Lisa's room, but it had been a successful venture to say the least. At first, it had been an exciting idea, investigating her dirty little secret, but now, both Shinji and Rose sat on the floor by the closet, staring awkwardly at a box that seemed to glower at them. It was a beat-up thing, a worn cardboard box with coffee stains and drips along the side and corners. It was really a miracle that the contents were as well-preserved as this. The two Vizards looked at one another, their eyes insisting that the other go ahead and touch that which they'd been dying to peek at.

"Go ahead," Shinji insisted with a toothy grin. "I'll watch."

Rose laughed grimly, shaking his head. He wasn't an idiot. He knew what Shinji was doing. Were he to be the one to touch the stash, Lisa would, undoubtedly, skewer him before engaging in all kinds of unmentionable torture. The thought alone was enough to give him a headache. Shinji was just trying to save his own ass.

"I don't think so," he replied, standing and taking a step back. "You'll cast the blame on me, and I'll end up as her victim for the next week. No thank you."

There was a loud scoff from behind the two as Kensei strolled in, not even bothering to be subtle about it, as Mashiro could be seen in the hallway, staring wide-eyed.

"Fucking cowards," he all but barked, shoving the two of them out of the way. "Ya come up with this godawful idea to sneak a peek, and ya can't even go through with it. Gutless bastards."

The two were dumbstruck as Kensei pulled a stack of magazines out of the box, staring at the covers with a mildly disinterested look. The rest of the pile dropped to the floor, one still clenched in his hand as he glowered at the two who were watching him like idiots. The cover was flipped open, the pages making little noise as he flipped through them, rolling his eyes.

"What?" he snarled, turning the fold-out page on them. "It's just a bunch of girls in bikinis. What the hell were you expecting? Porn?"

Rose nodded, earning a jab in the side from Shinji. He'd forgotten that their investigation, at least, the reason behind it, was supposed to be kept a secret. He shrugged apologetically, daring to dig through the pile that now sat beside him on the floor. He let out a sigh, watching as Shinji's magazine popped open, sporting some rather revealing photographs of male models. It was porno, after all.

There was a disapproving sound from the door, and the three turned to see Lisa blocking their escape route. Behind her, Mashiro whispered, "She's heeeere!"

"No shit, Sherlock," Kensei muttered, grabbing the box and using it as a shield.

Shinji grinned sheepishly, picking up a handful of magazines. There was a loud shout from Lisa as he threw them her way, shouting, "Run like hell!"

As directed, Rose took off, easily darting around Lisa as she began picking up her precious pornos, assuring them that everything would be all right. As the three darted out into the hallway, Hiyori popped her head out of the bathroom, throwing a bar of soap and curses their way. Fortunately, Rose ducked in time, allowing the slippery object to promptly whack Shinji in the back of the head. They stumbled over one another, leaving Kensei behind as Mashiro had grabbed him by the ankle, assuring that Lisa would have at least one victim to torture.

Love began laughing as Shinji yanked the door open, darting out before slamming it in Rose's face. The man's eyes widened as Lisa, having tied up Kensei, hovered over him, daggers in her eyes.

"You're next," she hissed. "Prepare for divine judgment."

Oh, yes. "Divine judgment." With Lisa, that meant "sexual assault."