Hi! So this is my first actual published jily fic (there are many more bits of fluff on my computer of jily that i probably won't ever upload onto here) i hope i can continue with this as it is actually really fun to write about something you ship so hard haha. All original characters belong to J.K Rowling any others are from imagination. Hope you enjoy and please do review and like (whatever you do on here i'm actually quite uncertain) if you do! Thanks.

- We are all a bit weird and life is a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we fall into a mutual weirdness called friendship.

Chapter 1.

Ok, so this is so not a diary. It's a ... a... - let's just call it a journal of the events of my melodramatic life thus far. Honestly I really do need something that I can express my feelings over, especially since I'm an emotional wreck 90% of the time. I mean Marlene and Dorcas may be my two bestest (that really should be a word, 'best' alone just doesn't fully describe it) friends in the whole world, galaxy, universe and history of existence but there are some things that are better expressed written rather than spoken.

oh gosh this is so cringey, like what if someone finds this one day and reads all my little scribbling and then puts a quick duplication charm on the pages of this diary and then spreads them across school and everyone laughs at my dotty excuse of a life.

Sigh. I need to stop with these paranoid thoughts. I also need to stop talking about myself so much, so let me tell you more about those two not so sane friends of mine.

Marlene and Dorcas have been my best friends since the first train ride to Hogwarts all the way back in first year (well obviously its first year Lil I wouldn't be on my first train ride to Hogwarts in my second year now would I?)

I was timid, pretty scared and a hell of a lot clueless. Which if you know me, those traits are things i definitely do not posses so i really did not feel like myself. Even as an 11 year old, i had to know what was going on, where i was going and what i was doing. Being Muggle-Born was a huge disadvantage as, for the first time in probably my entire life, there were kids who knew more about something than i did.

I sat alone in the first compartment i could find when Mum and Dad dropped me off. I waved at them from out of the window as mum blew kisses, dad smiled widely and Petunia crossed her arms and watched the people around her anxiously. I remember the day like it was yesterday. The night before, I woke up in the middle of the night and rushed into Mum and Dad's room to ask if it was all a dream and whether there really was a magical school called Hogwarts and if i really was a witch or if it was all a practical joke.

I thought they'd get angry that i woke them up, but they hastily laughed and told me it was all real and that i should get some sleep before the big day. They were just as happy as i was. A witch in the family! You don't get told that every day. However my sister Petunia didn't seem as ecstatic as we were.

Now, back to that day. It was only when the train started steadily moving that two giggling eleven year old girls walked in and asked if they could sit with me. I nodded a little too eagerly, i really needed to make friends, i couldn't go on being this out of the loop about everything.

With each second i spoke and got to know the two crazy girls before me, i felt myself become a little less timid, a little less scared and a little less clueless. You could say it was friendship at first sight really.

Now fast forward six years later and we're still the three musketeers, the three peas in the pod, the three...err well I'm out of puns, but hey we're still as close as ever.

Marlene's a Quidditch fanatic; her life literally revolves around being in the air whenever she can. She's seriously gorgeous too; i mean who knew Quidditch could actually give you great legs? I'm pretty sure you're sitting down on the broom most of the- no in fact all of the time - (unless you're James Potter who likes to do stupid tricks when he thinks you're watching because he knows it winds you up).

I asked Marlene enviously why her legs were so nice when she hardly budges off that bloody broom and her reply was 'We do do drills on the ground you know Lil , try having James Potter as captain, he kills us!'.

I don't really want to, i dislike Quidditch a lot. I also dislike the latter subject in the conversation – James Potter that is, okay well not really dislike, but that bloke really knows how to push my buttons, him and his equally annoying sidekick Black.

Apart from flying lessons in first and second year, i avoid being in the air at whatever costs. Let's just say Muggle Borns aren't really accustomed to actually being in mid-air freely, due to the fact that we weren't exactly raised with these 'normal' wizard hobbies as children, even if i have been aware of being a witch for 6 years now.

Dorcas is the opposite of Marlene. Where Marlene loves to whizz around in the air, Dorcas loves to whizz around all the clothes shops in Hogsmeade. Where Marlene loves to read her romance books (yeah, there really is a girl underneath that keepers helmet), Dorcas loves to flick around a good old glossy magazine of 'Wicca Weekly' or 'Witches in Pink'. And lastly, where Marlene only socializes with the blokes on her team and they see her as one of the 'guys', Dorcas is a totally different story and has nearly all the boys in all the different houses falling to her feet. Yeah she's that stunning.

So, right now (10.55 pm, Sunday Evening, August 31st) i have the upmost privilege to be sharing this ridiculously miniscule tent with Marlene. (Sense the sarcasm; Marlene is the worst person to share a tent with, this girl is a lethal weapon when sleeping, I'm talking getting kicked in the ribs half way through the night and her keeping me up all night with her random sleep talking about Gnomes from Russia).

'Shove over Mar!' I mumble sleepily as I elbow her shoulder hoping she'll roll over to her side.

Honestly, this tent was far larger when Petunia and I used to camp out in the garden when I was eight. Maybe it's because my sister was and always has been a bony giraffe. Also, when Tuney and I used to camp out together we didn't have large copies of 'Top 50 Quidditch Must Haves' and 'Famous Fouls and Beautiful Beaters' scattered around the area in which we would sleep in, (alongside many Charms books, you see my pal here likes to do her summer homework pretty last minute – the day before school starts basically).

The past week that she and Dorcas have been here we've slept in the comfort of my room over in the house. But Dorcas had to go back home yesterday, due to her mum being ill again, so Marlene suddenly got the idea of sleeping in the garden in this ridiculous triangular shaped hell. And voila here I am, fighting for space to sleep and basically breathe.

If only Dorcas was still here, her eyes would pop out at the idea of sleeping outside. I wrote to her yesterday telling her what our crazy best friend considered as 'fun' and her letter back said:

'But that's barbaric! There are perfectly good beds inside, she's mad that one I'm telling you' which made me chuckle because i read it in her 'Dramatic Dorcas' voice.

Petunia was ecstatic to have me out the house for the night, poor girl, hasn't mum told her she's driving me and Mar to the station tomorrow? Can't get rid of us that easily unfortunately.

This whole summer holidays I've had friends staying over and just coming round in general. This was upmost adversity for my dear sister Tuney. She'd roll her eyes at Dorcas singing along to the 'weird sisters' (a wizarding music duo) and stare in upmost shock (have you ever seen a giraffe with their eyes popping out? I'm telling you it's hilarious) as Marlene brought her broom along thinking she could do some flying practice whilst she was staying over (Dorcas and I had to tell her that the part of Surrey i lived in really wasn't a wizard-prone area and that the whole neighbourhood would most likely faint in horror at the sight of her somersaulting on her broom around in the air).

Once wheni invited Peter and Remus over, (Peter lives down the road, literally) to help me with some potions assignment that Proffesor Bowler set us for the summer, Peter offered her a Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean. Forgetting for a moment that Peter wasn't a Muggle, (I don't know how she forgot that Peter was a wizard, she used to drive us both to the station after every Christmas holiday – by force obviously) and her having an immense sweet tooth, she gave into temptation, took the sweet and began chewing suspiciously.

Poor girl, everyone knows that the off-coloured green one is the bogie flavoured one, she may be my sister but there was no way i'd warn her and miss an opportunity to see her face screw up like it always does when she eats something horrid.

The moment she realised that the thing in her mouth tasted non-edible, she spat it out in her hand and ran off to mum yelling

'Mum! Lily's freaky friends gave me something freaky to eat and now i feel...well.. freaky! Mum!'

Which mum replied by saying 'Petunia, stop bothering me and stop being whiny'

And then Petunia huffed up her paper thin chest and asked as a last resort, 'Mum why does Lily have boys in her room anyway? You never let me bring Vernon up to my room!'.

And mum just looked at Peter and Remus and chuckled and said 'Look at these lads Tuney, Peter has lived across the road from us all his life, and Remus? Come one Petunia, he's a sensible boy, as is Lily, they wouldn't do anything mad, as for Vernon...' Mum frowned a little, 'He can stay downstairs whenever he comes round, in the living room where i can keep my eyes on him'.

Petunia let out a exasperated sigh and stormed off to her room. Mum was right, I'd take one look at Peter and Remus and wouldn't think they'd hurt a fly. Peter was one of those childhood neighbourhood friends that you could never get rid of and your mothers would make you play mates with... (true story), and one look at Remus Lupin and any mother would fall in love with his smart attire and politeness.

However in a way my mother was a little fooled, you see Peter and Remus are part of the Marauders- and okay they might not be as bad as Black and Potter- but still part of the Marauders nevertheless, so trouble usually seems to find them.

Oh thank God, Marlene has finally decided to roll over to the other side of the tent. Hallelujah. Now maybe i can survive the night. Speaking of night, it really is quite late now, I really should be going to bed soon, i mean it is the first day of term tomorrow and i can't possibly afford to have eye bags on the first day back. Dorcas could probably pull it off, the eye bags i mean. That girl could look stunning in a bin bag. But am i the beautiful Dorcas Meadowes? Nope, just her slightly dorky, somewhat less beautiful friend Lily. Plus i have to look absolutely spiffing for my darling Freddie.

Oh have i not told you about Freddie Lynch? The Ravenclaw Sex Bomb? Excuse my lack of finding a better word, but that's just what he is, a complete sex-bomb. From his toffee curls, to that lop-sided smirk, I could just eat him literally. He is oh so attractivo, (yes I just made that word up, Freddie is worth much more than the ordinary English vocabulary).

No doubt being one of Hogwarts most beautifulest (yeah that should be a word too 'beautiful' alone doesn't even come to scratch the basis of how perfect Freddie is) wizards ever. What do i mean 'one' of the most beautiful? He is the ONLY beautiful wizard Hogwarts has come to have the pleasure of vacating. Okay so Marlene and Dorcas would come to disagree straight away, they say there are tons of hotties in Hogwarts and many potential boyfriends, but there is only one guy for me; my love Freddie.

Ok so putting aside the fact that he has no idea i exist (well one time in Transfiguration he did turn around and ask me if he could borrow a quill of mine because his ran out), i do honestly believe we were meant to be.

So mission get Freddie to notice me is in action this year and it will work, mark my words.

Okay so i guess the light of my wand is visible through this thin fabric because mum just came out into the garden and told me to 'switch that thing off and go to bed!' so I guess i'll have to update you in the morning, if Marlene hasn't kicked me to death yet.

Nox.

Hello my lovely notebook that is so NOT a diary because diaries are for insecure people who find comfort in jotting their thoughts down and that is so not me ha...ha...ha.

Well firstly are you proud of me for carrying on writing from last night? I mean honestly the last few times i tried keeping a journal it lasted a day and the next day it just became a doodle pad and i no longer wrote. Which is a shame really as i do honestly think if i kept a journal from the start, i would be able to publish it by now as my life is seriously interesting, so interesting that i could sell it as a fiction children's book because come on, how many witches do Muggles come across eh?

Anyway back to reality. For someone who most likely had a delightful sleep last night, Marlene looked awful this morning. And obviously, me being her best friend i had to point that teeny fact out.

'Mar, you look like you haven't had a wink of sleep, even though i am certain that you have, pretty sure i have bruises to prove it too' i said as i sat on the other side of the table from her, spreading jam on my toast.

'Lils, you have no idea' she yawned, spooning another mouthful of cereal into her mouth.

'wait, you didn't get any sleep?' i asked with a raised brow.

'i did but not much, after you switched that darn light out and stopped scribbling, i just couldn't get back to sleep, i kept thinking about the Slytherin match that's coming up in a few weeks and Chris...and-'

'Wait, you were thinking about Chris? Marlene!' i said, in a frustrated tone which she didn't look too surprised about.

She knows how Dorcas and I feel about Chris. Chris Evans (the bastard has no right to have the same last name as me, he is far from a true Evans) was Marlene's boyfriend before summer, until he cheated on her with none other than Lucy Knowles.

Chris is a Slytherin, and even though Marlene begged us not to judge him by his house (which we had no intention of doing, i mean they didn't judge me when Snape was my best friend and he's from Slytherin too).

Oh no, it wasn't his house that made me and Dorcas very wary of him. It was the fact that he treated Marlene like complete and utter crap. And our Marlene, the Marlene Marissa Mckinnon we knew, wouldn't let a soul treat her less than her worth.

You know that stupid quote 'Love makes you blind' well believe it, because Marlene was so dumbfounded by Chris that she let him walk all over her. And trust me if you know Marlene you will know that she is one feisty girl, why do you think they made her keeper of the Gryffindor Quidditch team?

I remember once when Tiffany Hewitt, the Slytherin slag called me a 'Skanky Mudblood' because Potter had asked me out (he was always doing that in fifth year, it really was a pathetic joke). Tiffany had called me it because she really liked him, a lot of girls like James really and i never understood why. He's mean and immature and ugh. But that's another story. Unfortunately for Tiffany, Marlene overheard her and sent a mean little tongue-tying hex in her direction. It was probably the best twenty points Gryffindor could ever lose.

See? Marlene's that scary. If she'd do that for her friends, think of what she can do for herself. Crazy woman.

But then she got into a relationship with Chris and she just changed. She stopped spending so much time with us; she was slacking in Transfiguration – which she is her favourite subject- (which meant that Dorcas and I were slacking in Transfiguration because we just copy her notes) and whenever we tried warning her about him, she defended him! She defended him, over us! That's when we knew that she'd gone completely to the dark side and we'd lost her completely.

That's until one night after our Hogsmeade trip (Chris blew Marlene off claiming he was too 'ill' to go on the trip that month) we all slumbered back up to our dorm room, Marlene and I holding the slightly tipsy little Dorcas steadily due to the fact that there was a little too much firewhiskey on her part alongside me and Marlene giggling like school girls after the events of that day. Basically, we were all in a really good mood, which wasn't uncommon after coming from a trip to Hogsmeade.

Dorcas opened our dormitory door and as we entered, I was the first to see it. Mainly because it was on my bed and my intentions were to just drop on it due to my extreme exhaustion. No point dropping on a bed already vacating two barely clothed – and may i add very startled familiar faces.

There they were Lucy and Chris. Lucy (or Lucifer as we like to call her) is the only reason i question the sorting hat. I mean honestly, I'm pretty sure Gryffindors aren't meant to be spiteful and slutty and just horrible. We've had the displeasure of sharing our dorm with her since first year, and despite our numerous attempts of befriending her, she always gave us a reason why we shouldn't. And that night was the last straw. There she was on my bed (hers was clattered with clothes and books, so i guess the dirty minx thought whatever bed they shagged on wouldn't make a difference). Is she that stupid to have first of all done a quick clearing charm to remove the contents of her bed and second of all to HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH SOMEONE ELSES BOYFRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE, THAT SOMEONE BEING MY BEST FRIEND AND SOMEONE WHO SHARES A DORM WITH YOU?

Needless to say Marlene was a mess, and as i comforted her, (maybe it was the drink in her system or maybe it was the anger) Dorcas did the good deed of (I'm guessing by the loud noise he made) kicking Chris in his special place and slapping Lucy across her smug little countenance.

Now, fast forward to the present as i sit here in my kitchen staring at Marlene in shock and tell me I'm not mad? I mean why would you want to even give a precious thought of yours to someone who hurt you so bad?

I let out a sigh 'Mar-'

'No-' she interrupted, 'No, listen Lily, they're not good thoughts, what I'm saying is, i need to get back at him, this year I'm definitely finding someone who'll treat me better, i mean i deserve that right?' she asked biting on her lip.

I smiled widely, 'Of course you do idiot! Ahh this is going to be a fun year, i can get my beautiful Freddie, you can bag yourself a new man and Dorcas can choose out of the many men kissing her feet, and bam for probably the first time we'll all be in relationships at the same time and we can go on cute triple dates and-'

I was stopped by the laughter that was escaping Marlene's mouth.

'What?' i asked pretending to be offended as i shoved another bite of toast into my mouth.

'Lily, never in my life did i have you down as the romantic sort, plus didn't Freddie have a fling with Scarlett Hanley last term? Or is that over?' she asked solemnly.

The crusts of the piece of toast i just ate had been crunched by the force of my fist. I'm not the jealous type...honest.

'i doubt very much that Freddie's actually serious about that little special friendship of theirs, anyways she's so not his type and...'

And as i carried mumbling about my husband-to-be, Marlene just laughed and laughed at the babbling mess i was. Hey, at least i cheered her up.

Ok, Remember how i told you that Marlene and Dorcas are absolutely, positively g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s? Yeah well Marlene has just proven to me how beautiful. The drowsy, sleepy mess i was conversing with an hour earlier has now transformed into a god damn swan.

'IT'S NOT FAIR' i cry as i join Marlene in my room as we get ready to leave.

Marlene checks herself one more time in the mirror before crabbing her case, 'What's not fair you nutter?'

'Give me your legs! Give me your face! Marlene you're so unbelievably and effortlessly beautiful, that pratt Chris has definitely missed out' i said as i grabbed my case and we made our way downstairs.

'Are you bloody kidding me Lily? Effortlessly?' she laughed, 'Effortlessly beautiful is what i would call you, me and Dorcas literally discuss how pretty you are all the time!'

'Yeah right, whatever' i said not believing her attempt of making me feel better.

'Seriously Lils, It takes a lot of effort for me to even think i look remotely presentable and Dorcas may get a lot of attention but come on we both know she's seriously insecure'

It was true, Dorcas did oddly not think highly of herself at all, which to be honest in some ways i guess everybody hates something about themselves, but what is there to honestly hate when everything about you is perfect? Sigh, i struggle to understand her sometimes.

She carried on once she realised i had no idea what to reply to that, 'I mean seriously Lily, i'd die to be as confident as you and have your hair and your bloody eyes- oh god your eyes Lily'

'Okay, okay that's enough stop making me go red, Freddie can't see me red' i said as we made our way into dads car.

'Lily we're in your dads car, Freddie's not in the boot or anything, he can't see you stupid' she said chuckling,

'Plus you've got bigger problems than Freddie, I'm pretty sure James Potter is still on your case, either that guy really is prolonging some kind of prank of trying to get any kind of attention from you, or he really does fancy you'

'It's obviously a prank Marlene, he's such a pratt, there's no way he fancies me and likewise'

'Who fancies who? And who's Freddie and James?' Dad asks as we finally sit comfortably in the seats of his car.

'Basically Mr Evans-' Marlene starts. I instantly shoot her a death glare.

'Nothing dad, it's nothing..anyways dad wasn't Petunia meant to drop me and Mar off to the station?' i say trying to change the subject, not that i am disappointed- I'd rather dads embarrassing cassettes and his and Marlene's banter rather than Petunia's cold personality and awkward presence throughout the whole journey to the station. Plus dad's car smells of mums perfume and cinnamon whereas Petunia's old Cadillac reeks of lemon scented car spray and Vernon's cigarettes.

'She said she had to see Vernon all of a sudden, no stopping her when it's him, so i told your mum that I'd drop you girls off'

And with a sigh of relief that he didn't go back to the James/Freddie conversation, i laid back onto the leather interior of my father's car with one of my best friends besides me singing along to my father's cassettes and i thought to myself, this is going to be a great year at Hogwarts.