A/N – Written for a-trip-to-honeydukes' Lucky Dip Competition on the HPFC forum. Please review :)
Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
Zacharias Smith strode purposefully down Diagon Alley, a roll of parchment bearing an official-looking seal in his hand. The colourful joke shop looked so brash and unsightly amongst the well decorated fronts of the neighbouring businesses. Nevertheless, Zacharias had a job to do, so ignoring the garish colours and distracting mess of merchandise, he made his way inside and walked up to the vacant till.
The shop was empty, as was expected at nine o'clock in the morning during term time, when the majority of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes' customers were at Hogwarts. Not enjoying being kept waiting; after all he had a very important job to do, Zacharias coughed loudly to announce his presence. From somewhere behind the curtain leading to the back of the shop, he heard someone walking down a set of stairs.
He unfurled the parchment he was carrying, but was then distracted by a curious looking glass bowl of what appeared to be custard creams.
"Ron there's a customer down here," a woman's voice said loudly from behind him, and then at a more conversational volume, "I wouldn't touch those if I were you."
Zacharias quickly pulled his hand away from the bowl, and a little embarrassed, spun to face the redheaded young woman who had emerged from behind the curtain. He recognised her almost instantly, though he had not seen her in over five years, and he was sure she recognised him as her eyes had narrowed as soon as she had caught sight of his face.
"Ginny, I don't see why you can't just-," Ron Weasley broke off as he emerged from the back room and practically snarled at the visitor. "What do you want?" he said aggressively.
"I am here on official Ministry business, and I'll have you know that your attitude could be considered verbal abuse which is a criminal offence."
"I'll leave you two to it, then," Ginny said, rolling her eyes, and slipping back through the curtain. This surprised Zacharias a little, but he assumed she was attempting to show maturity, though the look of disgust she shot him before leaving said otherwise, and he was forcibly reminded of her hurtling towards him on a broomstick in his fifth year.
Ron ignored her. "I work for the ministry too, you idiot, so don't even try it because I know you're talking rubbish."
"I think you'll find the Department for Magical Law Enforcement takes such issues very-"
"I work for the Department for Magical Law Enforcement, Smith. I'm an auror. You could've been too if you'd had the guts to stick around like everyone else, instead of running off like a coward the second the battle started. So now you're just some little nobody who messes around with floo powder all day. So piss off."
Zacharias smiled. Weasley clearly hadn't been paying any attention to what was going on right under his nose, not that Zacharias really expected him to.
"Actually, Weasley," he drawled, "I've been promoted. I'm now the Deputy Head of the Department for Magical Transportation and we have some serious concerns about problems that might arise from the so-called "Fake Floo Powder Fireworks" you've been selling. Since I doubt you have the intelligence to help me in my investigation, I suggest you go and get your elder brother right now."
Zacharias seated himself smugly on a chair behind the till and helped himself to one of the custard creams Ginny had told him not to eat.
Ron still hadn't moved, but stood smiling stupidly at the half-eaten biscuit in his hand. Zacharias opened his mouth but his words died in his throat as he found himself suddenly covered from head to toe in yellow feathers, and Ron dissolved into a fit of hysterical laughter.