Ziva opened her eyes and was momentarily disorientated. Blinking a few times, attempting to clear the sleep from her eyes, the night's events came flooding back. It had been a tough case; the ones with missing kids always were. The team had sought comfort in each other; after case drinks had never been so quiet. Each member of the team had been affected so deeply that when McGee had taken Abby home and Tony had turned to Ziva and asked if she wanted to spend the night, nothing in her had the resolve to say no.
It had been slow, loving, comfortable. As if they had been making love for years. Both knew exactly how to play the other and yet were completely new to all of the sensations. It hadn't been like either of their usual encounters; hard fast and hurtling to release. No, they had both drawn out the experience. Showing not lust, but love in every moment of their pleasure and each other's orgasm was almost more rewarding than their own. When he kissed her one last time, stroked a stray hair from her cheek and snuggled her into his chest, she didn't object. That was where she woke several hours later; still wrapped in his arms, her head on his chest feeling the steady beat of his heart and the rise and fall of each breath.
Moving as slowly and stealthily as possible so as not to wake him, she relieved herself of his arm and lead on her back beside him.
"What's up?" He asked sleepily eliciting a small smile from her. She should have known better. He knows her far too well for her to be able to not disturb him the moment she woke.
"Nothing." She replied distractedly. He shifted so he was lying on his side and facing her, finally opening his eyes to meet hers.
"Come on Zi. You can tell me. What's the matter?" She sighed. Why must he be so kind to her now? With tears in her eyes she sat up, wrapping his sheets around her. She looked so vulnerable, so afraid. He sat up with her and tried to put his arm around her but the flinch he got in response stopped him in his tracks. "Ziva?"
"Do you." She paused as her voice started to crack. "Do you regret it?" Her small helpless voice tore through his heart faster than any bullet ever could.
"Of course I don't." Tears were starting to appear in the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall every time she blinked. "But…you do." He sighed before swinging his legs over the side of the bed and pulling his boxers back on before resting his head in his hands. "I'm sorry Zi."
"Why are you sorry?" She asked, her voice trembling as emotions threatened to engulf her,
"I didn't go to that bar with you tonight with the intention of doing this. It just seemed right. You should have stopped me if you felt uncomfortable." Ziva slipped his t-shirt, which had been lying at the foot of the bed, over her head and knelt behind him before wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I did not feel uncomfortable Tony. How could I? You did everything perfectly." She felt his chest heave signalling to her that he was trying really hard not to sob and make her feel guilty right now.
"Do you want me to drive you home?" Just the sound of his broken, scared voice made her heart hurt. She moved from behind him and sat in the middle of the bed.
"Do you want me to go?" Her tears finally fell from her eyes and came to rest on her cheek bones before falling onto his top.
"I don't want you to have to stay here after I have done this to you."
"Done what to me? What do you think you have done?"
"I pushed you too far too fast and now you regret it. I'm sorry Zi. I really am."
"Tony…look at me." He did as he was told but immediately regretted it as he saw her crying and it broke him in two.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered, dropping his gaze as his own tears started to fall.
"I love you." His eyes snapped back up to meet hers.
"What?"
"I love you Tony. I do not regret any second of what happened. It felt right."
"I don't understand." She smiled gently.
"I was scared." She stopped and he saw just how hard an admission like that was. "I was scared that I would love you and you would not feel the same. I was terrified that you would wake up and regret what we did." Her lower lip trembled and he couldn't just sit there anymore. He embraced her tightly, holding her as she sobbed.
"I love you Ziva. I could never regret us."
"I am sorry."
"Me too." The couple sat in the middle of his bed slowly stopping crying in each other's arms.
"Tony?" He pulled back in order to see her properly.
"Yeah baby?" She had that terrible look of vulnerability to her eyes again.
"Will you still be here when I wake up again?" Tony led down on the bed and patted his chest. She took the hint and rested her head on his chest as he held her close, intertwining their legs and kissing her forehead.
"Everyday for the rest of your life if you let me." She smiled gently, taking his hand.
"If you want me, I am yours. For now and always." Both agents fell into a deep sleep, both with smiles on their faces. Both knowing that they had taken the first step on the road that was their future. Neither holding any regrets.