I never wanted to fall in love. I never should have. If you fall for someone, you're handing them the key to your heart, they can make you cry with joy, and they can make you cry bitterly ever night, thinking of what could have been.
It wasn't something I was very happy about handing to anyone, but I haven't really got that metaphor right. If you fall for someone, they come and steal the key. That sounds better. You don't have any choice in the matter, you know.
Lily Evans.
Passionate, beautiful, kind, fiery like her hair, spirited, strong, funny, but there is no point in dreaming any more. She is, after all, just a fifthly Gryffindor mudblood.
Yeah right.
Avery called her that, and I got my revenge. Who said revenge was a dish best served cold? I don't know, but they knew exactly what they were talking. Exactly. I served it icy cold. Nobody ever knew why Avery was found, bleeding- that was my old spell- crumpled up, half dead. I stayed friends with him, because he was the right sort of friend for me to have.
I say friend?
I hated him.
For one simple reason. Because Lily Evans didn't like him.
And me?
She hates me. But not as much as I hate myself. Not one bit.
I let Potter- James Potter- win. I tried to get revenge, when me and Lily fall apart, but it backfired. Horribly. I was thrown in the lake, with half the school watching. And Lily watching too. And she didn't protest. She didn't stand up for me.
I was too stunned- not by the cold water, those marauders had done worse to me, many times- but that my ex-best friend didn't say a thing.
Avery, Mulciber didn't either. I don't know for certain that they were in a crowd but I had my suspicions. They didn't want to aggravate those bloody marauders. They wouldn't stand up for me.
And I said friend?
I don't even hate them, that privilege belonged to Potter, and his side-kicks. After Potter threw me in the lake, I didn't try, anymore, to get revenge. No, not because I was scared, honestly, he would still attack and prank me at any opportunity anyway, but because Lily Evans had looked at Potter, very quickly, just a glance. She didn't say anything, and I knew, oh, I knew, from that glance, that it was only a matter of time. So I didn't try to attack Potter again, because I knew she fancied him.
So why, today, when I left potions, talked dully to my friends, well, was I so utterly stunned? Why did I stop in my tracks, and gasp like I was dying when I saw James Potter and Lily Evans very much snogging?
When Potter saw me, he laughed in my face, body-bound me, and dragged Lily off. That boy's Head Boy. It makes me sick.
It was then, as Potter laughed in my face, I knew for certain that he had won, and that he always, always would. I think, really, we both knew from the start, what the result would be.
A/N: Oh come on, review...