Dedicated to cj, whose brainchild this is. It's based on the 4th chapter in I Carry Your Heart, but it's not necessary to read it. I'm not sure how long this will be, I have a few chapters planned so far.
The characters belong to the CW, and the song belongs to Bobby Darrin.
If I were a carpenter,
And you were a lady,
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you have my baby?
Red, yellow and green adorn the chest of drawers, and Serena steps back to admire her work. The panels and edges all varied, the pastel colours giving a vibrant vibe to the otherwise stark white room. She tries to tuck a stray strand of golden hair behind her ear without getting paint on her face, carefully leaning against the door jamb. Her belly peeks out from beneath one of Dan's button downs, and she rubs it fondly,
"It's too hot for me today bubby," The loft is air conditioned but she's in the side room which receives all the afternoon sun, and she's trying not to let the paint fumes permeate the rest of their home. Closing the door behind her, Serena makes for the kitchen and washes her hands, glancing at the clock. "Daddy will be home in a half hour buddy, then we get to go see Alison and Jenny, aren't you excited?"
Nothing happens, and Serena grimaces, "Yeah, that's kinda how I feel too." In the weeks since she's been home Serena had taken to talking to the baby quite a bit; first it was when he kicked or moved, then when she was in the nursery or doing her Pilates, and now it's pretty much all the time. She's not used to being in a place that's so empty.
The door opens unexpectedly, and Serena looks over her shoulder to see Dan making his way in, sweat beading on his forehead,
"It is too hot out there for this time of year; this global warming thing is really getting out of control." He says, shedding his tie and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. He drops his bag to the floor, sidling up to her at the counter and taking her face in his hands and laying a firm kiss on her lips, "How are my girls?"
Serena's lips curl in a small smile, and she leans into him for another kiss, throwing her arms around his shoulders.
"Oh be careful, I am so sweaty it's disgusting."
"I don't care," She mumbles into his neck before leaning back, her hands on his shoulders and his on her ever expanding waist, "And your son and I are fine." Dan shakes his head, grinning at her,
"Still dead set on a boy, huh?"
She nods, "I spend the most time with him, and I'm telling you it's a boy."
Dan shrugs, moving away to grab the jug of iced water from the fridge, "I saw Blair today, she's convinced it's a girl too."
Sliding gently onto a stool, Serena rolls her eyes, "Blair just wants something she can dress up." Dan leans back on the fridge, one hand in his pocket and the other wrapped around the glass of water,
"Maybe, but she did tell me to tell you to consider her name suggestions." His girlfriend remains silent, regarding him with rounded blue eyes and Dan's brow furrows, "Dare I ask?"
Serena shakes her head, reaching for the ice water he poured her, "We have to meet your Mum and sister in an hour, one drama at a time." Dan groans a little, and she giggles a little into her glass.
Allison Humphrey is a good mother, and Dan doesn't begrudge her that, but her relationship with Serena left a lot to be desired. It's no surprise to Serena- given her past with Rufus and Lily- that she's wary of her. Her lifestyle, her morals, her future; Allison had subtly interrogated her about them all over the years, and Serena could even recount a few comments which had been blatantly rude. Jenny's attitude was unpredictable, but her experiences on the Upper East Side tended her more towards her mother's way of thinking. Dan loves his family, but as Serena's due date looms the worse his mother seems to get.
Serena reluctantly hops down from the bench, making her way towards their bedroom to change. Dan smiles at her retreating form, a slight waddle betraying her eight month gestation.
"Wear something loose, it's probably still hot."
She yells from the bedroom irately, "Nothing I own is loose anymore!"
"Dan!" Allison's eyes light up as she stands to greet him, embracing her son. Jenny follows suit, and Serena stands awkwardly to the side like the metaphorical elephant in the room.
I could double for an elephant right now, she thinks, looking down at her the impressive swell of her stomach and larger than normal breasts. She's always been a curvy girl, but since becoming pregnant she feels like a snowman; just one round segment after another. Fluid retention has plagued her for months, and sometimes her ankles and feet become so swollen she had trouble walking.
One thing Allison has in common with Lily is her ability to change temperament on a dime, and she doesn't disappoint. The welcome she had for Dan degenerates into a lukewarm greeting for Serena as she forms a tight smile,
"Hello, Serena, how nice to see you again."
"You too, Allison!" Serena says it in a friendly, hopeful tone, and they embrace awkwardly. She shares a cool look with Jenny, who lifts one side of her mouth in place of a smile. Allison looks down at her stomach with an unreadable expression, but Serena's pretty sure it isn't friendly.
"My, you've just popped right out, haven't you? You're much bigger than when we saw you last." Her tone is what you'd expect from a prospective Grandparent, but when she says it she's looking at Serena's thighs and chest, not her belly. In that moment, Serena could cry.
Dan is ever oblivious, but his hand at the small of her back is encouraging, and she smiles brightly for his sake, "Yes well, not long now. And you know my appetite is proportional to my frame, so we'd better sit down and order."
Their gazes meet and Allison narrows her eyes imperceptibly, while Serena just smiles innocently and sits as close to Dan as possible.
I wish I could drink.
After suffering through the entrée and main, Serena's patience is thinning, and even Dan's hand resting on her thigh isn't helping much anymore. Jenny has kept her eyes on her salad the entire time, as sullen and moody as she was the day she left New York. Their relationship had not improved with time; Jenny blames Serena for driving a wedge between her and Nate- which had remained intact ever since- and Serena still feels the sting of Jenny's betrayal.
They're talking about the food when Allison turns to her, "You know, I'm surprised you were happy with a place like this Serena, I'd have thought it would be too low class for you." The chip she carries on her shoulder is the same Dan used to have, only exponentially bigger and bitterer. Serena quells her urge to retaliate by throwing something, swallowing her pride,
"Yes, well, we eat at places like this a lot now Allison. Brooklyn is full of wonderful hidden café's." Serena sips her water delicately, Lily would be proud.
Allison nods, "Oh yes, you're staying in the loft right now, aren't you? I guess a hotel suite isn't exactly baby friendly."
God Mum, why? Dan cringes inwardly and squeezes Serena's leg, "You should see the loft, Mum, Serena's been redoing the nursery herself."
"Redoing it?" Jenny's been so silent her voice sounds alien at first, "What for?"
"For the baby?" Serena supplies, picking at the steamed vegetables on her plate and staring at them intently. She can practically hear Jenny roll her eyes,
"Yeah, I know that," She snaps, and Dan shoots her an angry look, "But why redo it? Didn't you decorate it when you had Milo?"
It's a sore subject for them both for different reasons, and an awkward air descends on the table. Serena notices Dan's paled face- it still hurts him a little, even now- and she laces her fingers through his under the table, "Well, since this is our baby, we thought it should have a new nursery." She stares Jenny square in the face, speaking in a tone that leaves no room for debate. The younger girl smirks, still full of attitude and shrugs a little,
"Just seems like a waste of time to me."
It takes every ounce of will Serena has not to drag Jenny across the table, and as she digs her nails into Dan's hand he frowns at his sister,
"What is that supposed to mean, Jen?" She shrugs again, turning her attention back to her plate. Serena eyes off Allison's champagne.
I really wish I could drink.
Dan's not seen Serena move so fast since she's become pregnant, and he's pretty sure the speed at which she leaves the restaurant does not bode well for him. He smiles stiffly at his mother and sister, thanking them for the evening, wishing his father, or Eric or hell, even Nate, had been there. He isn't sure exactly what happened, but the atmosphere was so tense during the meal it was practically palpable.
The most silent cab drive home tops off the night, and Serena ignores him when he offers to help her from the car. Dan groans a little to himself, rubbing the bridge of his nose before following her up to the loft.
Serena drops onto the bed, snuggling into her body pillow. All night she had sat in silence while Dan's mother took thinly veiled jabs at her weight and upbringing as Jenny watched with barely contained amusement, and she finally told them both the food at their restaurant was making her queasy in order to escape. The last person she wants to see right is Dan, who was complicit to the entire evening.
But it's not her night, and he moves into her field of vision, crouching down to look her in the eyes,
"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do I have to guess?"
She frowns, blue eyes icy and closed off. Dan can almost physically feel the room get colder,
"Was it really the food?"
Silence.
He sighs, unbuttoning his shirt and turning his back to her, "Okay, I'll get a notepad and you can explain it to me Pictionary style," He intones flatly. Dan takes off his shirt and reaches for a singlet when something hits him in the back of the head,
"I hate your mother."
Serena's sitting up, hair falling out of her loose low ponytail as she glares angrily at him. Dan stares incredulously at her and picks up the cushion she flung at him, "What? Why?"
She balks, "Seriously? Dan, she spent the whole night taking shots at me, she called me fat!"
"Serena, I did not hear the word 'fat' come out of her mouth once."
Her jaw drops, and she throws another cushion in his direction, "Ahh, no domestic violence!"
"You didn't hear the word 'fat'? Why are you being such a guy right now?" She's fuming, and Dan's not used to this side of Serena so he stands there, shirtless, "'Oh my, you're much bigger than the last time we saw you, are you sure those fries are good for the baby? We found a store in Hudson that sells plus-size maternity bras'," Her voice is nasal and high pitched,
"Is that supposed to be my mother?" Dan asks, brow furrowed in confusion. His girlfriend sniffs, and he thinks she's being cute until he notices the quiver to her bottom lip. Moving swiftly to the bed, he cautiously sits down and places a hand gently on her calf.
"Hey, Serena…"
"I am fat, she's right," A tear rolls down the apple of her cheek, and he shakes his head, "You are pregnant, not fat, you know that."
"Oh yeah? You're touching my leg, you tell me that isn't a fat ankle." She buries her face in the body pillow, her shoulders shaking a little. Dan regards the remaining cushions, hoping she isn't still feeling aggressive as he moves up to sit next to her head, brushing her wayward strands of hair back from her face,
"I'm sorry about tonight, I promise it won't happen again." He whispers as he plants a kiss on her cheek, internally seething at his mother. He's always been an upfront person; the passive aggressive jabs people took at him in high school often rolled off his back. To him it seemed as if Allison was at worst a little picky at dinner, but when Serena brought the comments up together it did sound pretty awful. He makes a mental note to call her in the morning, and rubs Serena's shoulder, slipping his hand down her side to her belly,
"I love you both," Dan says softly, kissing her again, "So, so much." She mumbles into the pillow, and he laughs a little, "What?"
"I love you too." He kicks off his shoes, wrapping a hand around her to rest on her belly. After a moment Serena takes it in her own,
"You're lucky I like you so much, Humphrey. But if she calls me fat at Rufus's birthday and you don't do anything about it, you're sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life."