Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, and I make no money from this or any other stories.
Summer Blues
Alanna sat outside her tent staring desolately into the light of the dying sun. Jonathan had left for Corus with Myles hours ago. The desert wind, always full of sand, had long since erased any trace of her tears.
Feeling better? Faithful inquired from her lap.
"I don't know," his mistress whispered. "It's all so muddled and confusing." The fingers scratching behind Faithful's ears slowed to stop.
Why have you stopped scratching? Feel free to vent, just don't stop scratching.
Alanna smiled sadly at her pet, her fingers once again tangling in his jet fur. "I know what went wrong, and yet, I have no clue. When Jon first came south, I was so happy and hopeful, and, and…" She sniffled and laughed. "I really do think like a soft noble lady, don't I?"
Faithful purred, arching his back under her hands.
"I just wonder if this all isn't my doing somehow."
Faithful's mental snort contained all the derision the feline could muster – which is to say, quite a lot.
"Think about it. I finished my classes, got my shield, and just left. I knew Thom wanted to me to stay and for us to grow closer again and have the relationship we did when we were young. I knew Raoul and Gary and pretty much everyone else wanted to get to know this Alanna person and measure her against the Alan they knew (not even realizing I'm still the same person). Myles and George wanted me to stay just for me to be around for them – which is sweet in a strange way. And I just up and ran away. Some knight I am, huh?"
And Jonathan?
Faithful knew he had hit the crux of the current problem. Yes, Jonathan. Whether or not Alanna admitted it, he knew she cared more about his opinion than just about anyone else's.
"He wanted me to stay more than anyone else, I know. He would have been happy with me just being there, like George and Myles, but I also know he wanted me to help Duke Baird heal the Queen. And he didn't want me there – he knew how much I wanted this trip, and he wanted me to go."
And he wanted you to be away from the worst of the Court backlash.
"That too. But how could he come down here and propose to me like he did? How could he use me as a tool to rebel against his parents? When did he become such a different person?" The tears had started again.
Faithful sighed. You're getting me wet, you know.
"It wasn't supposed to be this way!" Alanna sobbed. "I was supposed to get my shield – "
Without becoming a scandal, of course, Faithful interjected helpfully.
" – go on adventures – "
Which you were doing even before you got your shield.
" – and not be tied down by anyone or anything!"
Faithful rolled his eyes, put his front paws on her shoulders and rubbed his nose against her wet cheek.
You've got it bad, he informed her.
"What have I got?"
The summer blues. At her bemused look, he continued. You humans spend so much time dreaming of summer's possibilities: warm evenings with a summer love, a break from work and classes, vacations and adventures. You romanticize it so much, and it never meets your expectations. Vacations go sour because you planned on avoiding people only to find yourself surrounded by other summer travellers. You nobles find you have no money, because you've spent it to keep your people alive through the winter, and rightly so. Relationships collapse because you find a part of your lover you don't like, or don't understand, or can't accept. The heat makes people cranky and sick and just adds even more pressure and stress to everything else. Summer never works out the way you want it to, so why not just accept what good things come, no matter the season?
"You're very hard to vent to, you know that?" Alanna was smiling – wryly, but at least she didn't have that depressed look in her eyes anymore.
I'm well aware. It's the best part of being a cat: we're always right.
Alanna scratched lovingly behind his ears again, and the cat wriggled in pleasure. As she stared at the sun again, Faithful advised, Don't worry about the future. It will work itself out. Jonathan will eventually come around and stop being a prat. You'll feel better when we find a new adventure. He rubbed his nose against her cheek once more before dropping to all paws.
By the way, you can feed me now. He sauntered back into the tent, tail held high. He turned back at the doorway, wondering why his human slave wasn't coming yet. She was staring at the sun again.
He thought he knew what she was thinking: Her romance with Jonathan might be over, but she would always look back at their time together fondly.
She turned back toward the tent, looking free from stress for the first time in months, and Faithful knew she would be fine.
A/N: Please make my day! Review and tell me what you thought.