AN: I've just finished watching Hetaoni for the first time and couldn't get this drabble out of my head. Sorry if the set-up is non-canon – Hetaoni is so confusing that I'm having trouble keeping all of the timing straight. If the setting seems off, we'll just say it's different "loop", da?

Canada sighed as he made his way up the stairs to the third floor with Kumajiro nestled safely in his arms. His brother had finally fallen asleep; resting after being so flustered about England's eyesight. Not wanting to sit still, Canada volunteered to track down Russia who had since excused himself from the safe room, claiming wanting to further investigate something. Canada knew he was the best choice to volunteer to try and find the former superpower. It was apparent that the alien-like creature had difficulty seeing the quieter North American nation, so it was much easier for him to move about the mansion alone without too much fear of being attacked – albeit it was incredibly scary tiptoeing around the halls. By himself. At night.

Making his way through the mansion, Canada shivered as he heard scraping and moaning coming from beyond the walls, the ceiling, the stairwell, everywhere. He sucked in a breath and squeezed his bear tighter. Was it the monster? The settling of this place? Or now something else? He closed his eyes, attempting – and failing – to block out the noise. He shook his head. Better to just quickly find Russia and get back to the safe room.

Turning onto the landing, his eyes caught a light screaming across the floor and he looked up to find that the door to the piano room was ajar. Peering in, Canada could see Russia through the crack. The larger nation was leaning against the grand instrument, his pipe in one hand and the other resting near his face.

"Da, that is correct," Canada heard Russia mutter.

The North American nation opened the door a bit wider to see who Russia was talking to, but no one else was in the room. Russia began to pace away from the piano and Canada caught sight of a black object in Russia's hand – his cell phone.

Canada held his breath. Maybe now he could discover who was on the other line; who kept talking to the larger nation, even though there was no reception in the mansion.

Then everything happened at once – as Canada opened the door wider in an attempt to silently enter the white room, the door let out a loud creak and Russia snapped his gaze over and stared straight at him. Russia began to relax the phone away from his face and opened his mouth to address the quieter nation when the alien-like monster dropped from the ceiling behind Russia, slashing his long gray fingers in the spot between where the trails of Russia scarf rested on his back.

Canada gasp out in shock as Russia went down on one knee from the force of the blow; his cell phone flying from his hand and skidding across the floor. Instinctively, Canada launched Kumajiro at the frightening creature. He fished in his pockets for some of the onigiri to help the taller nation and raced to Russia's side.

"Here," Canada said, shoving a few of the snacks into Russia's free hand.

The larger nation glanced up at Canada before unwrapping the food and taking a bite. "Spasibo, comrade," he said as he shakedly rose back on his feet, his back stinging from fresh open cuts. Russia turned around to face the creature and brandished his pipe, taking the sword out just as the monster finally got a handle on Kumajiro and tossed the little bear to the side.

"Kumataro!" Canada cried, rushing to his pet.

"Who?" the bear asked, looking up at Canada's worried face, slightly dazed. His fur was coated with blood and Canada fumbled to unwrap another onigiri.

"Your owner," Canada replied, hurriedly. He tried as best as he could to gently offer the food and feed his bear, but his hands were shaking and his heart was racing. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and was secretly very thankful the monster chose to overlook him at this moment. But, still… he needed to help his fellow nation.

Overcoming the surprise attack, Canada glanced and saw that the larger nation was now holding his own against the creature. They slashed at each other; Russia aiming for the head while the gray monster tore up anywhere he could land a strike.

Canada felt useless at he watched. He wasn't one for a fight – it was his brother who was the one with guts for being a hero like that. Kumajiro moved closer, now steady on his stubby legs and giving every indication that he wanted to get back into the fray to help. Canada had half a mind to let the little bear do so.

"YoU wIiL nOt eSCaPe", the monster growled, attempting to circle around Russia and attack at the nation's back again.

"Ufufufu", Russia replied, giggling as he swung his pipe-sword high above his head, motioning to downward strike on the creature's forehead. But, the alien caught the intention and changed its tactic to grab a hold of Russia's scarf. Canada could see Russia's eyes widen in shock, then change into rage.

"Now?" Kumajiro asked.

Desperate to assist the other nation, Canada approved, "Now, Kumanji!" He picked up the little bear and tossed him toward where the two were fighting. Kumajiro extended his claws and landed on the monster's arm, digging as deep as his could and biting down for good measure. The creature howled out in pain, blindly slashing upward and succeeding in landing a hit across Russia's chest in the process. Russia barely noticed; his violet eyes were locked onto the alien's forehead. The larger nation gathered his strength and swung, critically hitting the creature.

Kumajiro jumped off as the monster began to fade. Russia attempted to use the sword-pipe to continue to stand, but gave up and sank to his knees, the weapon loudly clattering to the ground and rolling a bit away. His breathing was labored now that his adrenaline was waning. Pain was starting to crawl into his consciousness and he put a hand to his chest and pulled it away to look at the damage. His glove was painted red.

"Russia?" Canada asked, tentatively.

"If…" Russia coughed. "If you have… anymore of those onigiri, I won't oppose, comrade."

Canada nodded and began to walk over to help bind the damage. He looked into his coat pockets to try to find more food and wasn't really pay attention where he was stepping until he heard a soft crunch come from under his foot. He stopped and looked down.

Russia turned his head at the sound in time to see Canada bending to pick up his black cell phone. He let a deep kolkolkol pass from his lips to try to deter Canada from touching the phone and silently prayed that it had been damaged when it flew out of his hand and that the call had been somehow disconnected.

However, that didn't seem to be the case.

Canada stood back up, staring for a moment at the screen; so engrossed that he didn't hear Russia's threat. There was a timer adding away – totaling up the minutes that the call had been going on for. Whoever was on the other end was still on the phone. It was still connected. Canada searched the screen for the bars – and got his answer. There was still no signal.

After a moment, Canada looked up and focused on Russia's now impassive face. Russia was still clinging a hand to his chest, trying to stop the blood flow from the fresh wound – but he made no move, no effort to stop Canada. The larger nation knew that the distance between them was too far for him to try to take back the phone without Canada attempting to speak into it first. It was game over.

The North American nation's hands trembled as he brought Russia's cell phone up to his ear. His voice was caught in the back of his throat – he was scared of what the answer to this riddle might be. Why did it have to be him to solve all the riddles? "He... hello?" he finally choked out, backpedaling when he saw that Russia was starting to reach for his discarded pipe.

"Fucking Canuk."

The line went dead…

…and so did the lights.