Summary: Ashes, ashes we all fall down!
A/N: Rawr! Royal Dragon here! Happy late Akuroku day! I know I should be working on Mirror, Mirror but I had to send my laptop in again to get it fixed for the same thing. I would have had this done on time if not for that. So anyway I hope you guys enjoy!
You Found Me
I was a morbid little fucker. I loved creating fire and when my parents drank I would always enterain them with blowing the alcohol bottles up. When they shattered glass would fly everywhere and we would laugh. Our house was never clean there were clothes strewn all over the house along with roaches and mice scuttling across the floors. My room was the only one that was ever clean. Our front yard had grass about two feet high and sometimes I would wear the same clothes three days in a row.
Everyone usually stayed away from me, calling me dirty and poor. They always treated me like I was a piece of trash and I didn't understand why. Although there was one person in particular who was by my side every day. He stuck to me like glue even though I was two grades higher than him.
He had spiky blond hair and bright blue eyes, and often times he was accompanied by another one just like him only this one had brown hair. Apparently they were twins, the brunette mostly kept his distance to pester another kid around my age. His name was Wiku? I wasn't to sure the twins were in Kindergarten and Sora the brunette was missing his two front teeth.
Roxas the blond haired twin later told me his name was in fact Riku. Roxas had gotten in the habit of walking me home, although really I should have been the one walking him. Second grade passed and then I went ot third. I had trouble with my homework and often times stayed at school to have someone help tutor me.
I was never able to go home and finish my homework because my parents were always running around the house talking about pink elephants and what the mushroom man had said to them. They would take me outside holding a lighter and a bottle of liquor and ask me to make those pretty flames.
I loved making those flames for my parents. They would giggle and laugh in delight. My family was very affectionate to me they would always hug me and kiss me and sometimes sleep with me at night. My parents also loved each other dearly but sometimes they would get angry at each other and Father would yell at Mother.
Coming home from school I would often times find my parents holding little tubes and sticking it in their noses. There would be white powder chopped up with a razor blade on a small mirror. They would leave me alone so that they could go and meet a "friend" of theirs from time to time. We were behind on our rent but the grass was so high and the house was in such a disarray that no one ever came to evict us.
Our bath tub was filled with grime, dirt and the occasional nest of bugs. Sometimes when no one including the bugs was occupying the tub I would jump in for a quick shower. We had no towels so I'd have to use my clothes as one. I remember once I brought Roxas home with me. He wasn't supposed to tell his parents but once he got glass in his feet and he started crying all I could do was carry him home.
They debated on taking Roxas and Sora away from school and sending him to a different one but after much contemplation he was allowed to stay. He just wasn't able to come back to my house ever again.
Winter rolled in bring with it fresh snow that blanketed the small town. School was about a mile from my house and I only had shorts to wear. If it was to cold I wouldn't go to school I'd just hang out with my parents. They offered me a small straw that they had cut in half and pointed to the white powder that was lying on the mirror.
Shaking my head I watched as they quickly took the straw back and sucked the powder up in their noses. It wasn't long before they were asking me to show them the pretty fire display. I suppose that's where my love for fire came from.
I met Roxas every day for school when Spring rolled around and I was even there to celebrate the twins sixth birthday although I was one of the only eight year old there. Everyone complained that I smelled bad but I didn't care Roxas wanted me there so I was going to stay there! The party only lasted for a few hours and I was ashamed that I was so poor that I had nothing to give.
The kids made fun of me but Sora and Roxas took up for me. I was going to spend the night with Roxas tonight as he had asked me to. I hadn't brought a bag of clothes because most of the clothes I owned were either dirty or torn.
"Wow Roxas your showers all clean." I said grinning as Roxas showed me how to use the taps.
Roxas dad Leon a tall man with shoulder length brown hair popped his head around the corner causing me to jump. "Daddy can I shower with Axel to?" Roxas asked his blue eyes wide and innocent.
"Um... Roxas..." Leon stuttered, "I don't think... Well... Axel might not..."
"But you and daddy take a shower together all the time!" Roxas stamped his foot as tears ran down his tan face.
Apparently Leon wasn't good with tears because a second later he was helping Roxas out of his shirt. Once he was finally naked Leon turned the taps to the right temperature and set Roxas in. Slowly I made my way in behind him as Leon pulled the curtains closed. I could hear the toilet seat close as Leon's silhouette sat down.
"I'm sorry Axel my son is... he's very headstrong." Leon said shaking his head.
"S'ok... as long as I have Roxas everything's ok." I giggled taking the shampoo and rubbing it in Roxas' hair. He sighed contently as I massaged his scalp taking my time to make sure that every strand of hair was covered in the frothy foam.
"What about your other friends?" Leon asked as I handed Roxas the bar of soap.
"Don't have any. Just Roxas." I responded. Once we were thoroughly clean Leon handed me a towel and pulled Roxas out of the tub. Taking the towel he dried his son off who then ran off squealing naked into his bedroom. The door slammed and Leon winced before shaking his head. "Roxas is my best friend..." I whispered as Leon took the towel and helped me dry my hair.
"Axel... can we talk for a minute?" Leon asked sitting back on the toilet seat as he continued drying my hair. Nodding Leon gave me a small smile. "Roxas said that your house its... that its not very clean. Cloud and I we just wanted you to know that if you ever want to stay with us your welcome to anytime." I nodded as Leon brought me into a hug before kissing my forehead.
After I had finished dressing I rushed into Roxas' room. He was piled under the covers his head poking out. "Axel!" He squealed trying to disentangle himself from the covers.
It took me about five minutes to finally unwrap Roxas. He motioned me to sit on the bed beside him and snuggled up close to me. "Roxas... I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday today." I hated being poor because even at the age of eight I wanted to buy Roxas the world!
"Then kiss me! Daddy kisses Leon all the time! When I asked him about it he said that it was because they really loved each other. Your my best friend Axel and I love you!" Roxas' face was a bright red and I smiled pulling him into my lap.
"Your my best friend to." Leaning close I pressed our lips together. "Happy birthday Roxas."
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The day that my parents got arrested was on my tenth birthday. I had never been left alone before. I wasn't sure how long I stayed there before the police came and knocked my door down. It was a stormy night when the police came, the rain was beating down on the roof causing the tiny holes that there were to leak inside the dirty house. Thunder cracked as lightning finally cut the power out.
I remember screaming and falling down the stairs. My body was in pain and I screamed and cried until the door finally caved in. "Momma! Daddy!" I cried reaching my hands out only to be pulled into another man's embrace.
"It's ok son. Your safe now." Putting my head on his shoulder he helped wrap my good leg around his waist as he carried me out. I was brought to some EMT's but I continued holding onto the officer for dear life. "Your safe." He kept whispering it over and over. They determined that I had a sprained leg and the police took me down to the station after I refused to get into the EMT van.
"Where are my parents at?" I asked the officer he just gave me a sad smile and ruffled my hair offering me a cookie while he called my next of kin. I didn't have anyone except for Roxas number and it wasn't long before Leon and Cloud rushed in followed by Roxas, Sora and Riku. Apparently Riku was spending the night with Sora.
Our eyes met and in an instant Roxas was in my lap his arms around my neck holding me close to his small eight year old body. Burying my face in blond spikes I wept, I was old enough to know that my parents weren't coming back. The officers and Leon were trying to talk as quietly as possible but I could hear snippets of the conversation.
They had been at a crack house, on my tenth birthday they were at a crack house. They had been arrested... from what I could tell they were going to be in jail for a long time. That left me no where to go and it scared the hell out of me! I just gripped Roxas tighter as if I could somehow meld us together.
"Axel?" I gripped Roxas tighter as I leaned up tears running down my face to stare into ocean blue eyes. They were identical to Roxas. "Your coming home with us ok?" Cloud whispered reaching a hand out for me to take.
I nodded burrying my face back in Roxas hair. It was about an hour before the police finally released us and even then I didn't meet anyones eyes, especially Roxas'. Ashamed didn't even begin to cover the emotions that I was going through.
On the ride home that night Roxas held my hand. "I baked you a cake." He whispered. I already knew there was a small smile on his face. Roxas always knew how to make me feel better and it was usually food that did the trick.
"Didn't know you knew how to cook." I responded my eyes never leaving my lap.
"Daddy's teaching me." Roxas said sadly his hand slipping out of mine. His hand was warm... and now mine was cold and honestly I didn't like that. Roxas was my anchor I needed him right now more than he realized. Slipping my hand back out I tucked it back in mine and looked over to see wide blue eyes.
"What does the cake look like?" I asked.
Grinning Roxas kicked his chubby little legs and squealed in delight. "When we get home you'll get to see it! Right Daddy? Leon?" Roxas was pratically vibrating with excitement.
"Of course we're almost home." Cloud chuckled. Once we reached the house Roxas was the first one inside dragging me along with him. Sora and Riku were next followed by Leon and Cloud.
Sitting me on the couch Roxas hurriedly went and fetched presents telling me that we would eat cake afterwards. I had never had a birthday party before, my parents never even remembered my birthday so I was confused as to what to do. I had only been to one birthday party of the twins but I mostly had my eyes trained on Roxas.
I didn't want to admit it but Roxas knew and he motioned for me to unwrap the small gift. The wrapping was a beautiful red color with a green ribbon glued on top of it. The small paper attached to it said it was from Sora. I was careful unwrapping the small paper folding it back up in a small square. I wanted to keep it forever.
Inside the box there was a tiny car. Sora was grinning from ear to ear, "Its my favorite car!" He cried. I had never had a toy before unless you counted a lighter as a toy.
"Thank you Sora!" I said still amazed by the small car. Had I been paying attention I would have been able to stop the oncoming ball of energy that shot my way.
"Riku even got you a present to!" He chirped producing another beautifully wrapped box. I couldn't stop from keeping the wrapped paper again, I was going to have to put it somewhere safe.
It was a game called Kingdom of Nobodies. He explained later he hadn't been sure of what to get me. Cloud and Leon had pitched in and told me they were taking me out shopping tomorrow for new clothes. Roxas present was last and he told me he'd give it to me later that night. Cloud and Leon both chuckled at their son so I was pretty sure they knew.
It was cake time after that, the cake had white and blue frosting on it and in red letters it spelled, Happy Birthday Axel! It wasn't a very large cake but none of that mattered. Cloud got out the big knife and he cut me the first slice and went down the row. After we had eaten our sugary treat we went on to play the new game I had gotten.
It was exciting and fun, the main character looked a lot like Roxas but his name was Ventus. He was out killing something called the Unversed. It was around eleven before Cloud and Leon started sending us upstairs for bed. Roxas hurriedly pulled me in his room and shut the door, pushing me back on the bed he crawled in my lap and smiled.
"Happy birthday Axel." He whispered before pressing his lips against mine. My eyes widened before closing as a eight year old Roxas kissed me. "I didn't know what to get you and Daddy says that's what you do when you love someone! And I really love you Axel! Your my best friend!" It was the first night in ages that I slept so soundly with Roxas curled up in my arms. The kiss was still fresh in my mind.
Friends... we were best friends.
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I was twelve before I was legally adopted into the family. Some of the emotions had subsided but the depression still lingered.
My parents had been hooked on drugs. They chose them over me and because of that they were in jail. I couldn't go and visit them because I didn't have a car, but I was always writing them letters. At the end of the week I would bundle them up and hand them to Leon who promised to see them off for me.
I never got a response but that was ok. I spent most of my free time with Roxas and whenever he went to spend time with other friends I was always jealous. During those times I would go to Leon for advice, or I would just walk around town exploring. Often times I would go to my own house. Opening the rotting door up I would take a tentative step in waiting for my parents to hand me the lighter and ask me to make the pretty flames.
I should have caught on when I came over and the grass had finally been mowed. But I didn't and instead I went inside the old dirty house and milled around going upstairs to curl up on my old bed. I went to the house every day and every day the house was beginning to look cleaner and cleaner. A month passed before I saw the For Sale sign sitting in the front yard.
Dashing to the front yard I threw the door open to see a tall realtor with long brown hair tumbling down in waves. She was showing the house to a couple and I couldn't stop the cry that tore its way out of my throat.
"GET OUT!" I screamed. "THIS IS MY HOUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!"
I continued screaming and crying probably scaring the poor couple but I didn't care! This was my house! No one could have it! I wasn't sure how long I stood there screaming before arms made their way around my waist! I pushed and screamed trying to get the hands off of me but they wouldn't budge.
"LET ME GO!" I cried my voice was going hoarse and tears were running down my cheeks. The bottles had been cleaned up and the mirrors and razors were gone! They weren't coming back! No they had to come home! "LET ME GO!"
The hands only tightened around my waist until they were hauling me up and away. I whimpered the whole way to where I was being taken. I wasn't sure when we got there because I remembered passing out from utter exhaustion. I woke up hours later to see cruelean blue eyes staring at me. Roxas... he was home, he was supposed to be with Hayner, Olette and Pence today. Why was he here?
"Axel?" He whispered his eyes never leaving mine.
My throat was raw and in pain so I just nodded. "Axel what happened back there? I was on my way home when I heard you just screaming!" I looked past Roxas to see a concerned Leon standing in the door way.
Tears welled up in my eyes before finally making small tracks down my cheeks. "There selling it... Momma and Papa... they won't come home if they sell it."
"But we're your family now... Leon tell him!" I could see the hurt in Roxas eyes and the confusion that lay there. "Tell him!" He screamed stamping his foot for good measure. Falling to his knees tears poured out of his eyes, "Why won't you tell him?"
"Why aren't you with your friends?" I croaked turning away from his tearful gaze.
"Axel..." He whimpered crawling on the bed.
"Roxas lets leave Axel alone for a while. He needs to be alone right now." Leon whispered tugging on Roxas arm.
"NO!" It was the first time in a long time that I had heard Roxas scream like that. "He's my best friend, I won't leave him alone hurting. I won't give up on him." He whispered curling up on the bed so that he was spooning me.
I drifted off shortly after. When I woke up again Roxas was still beside me sleeping. I looked around his room, no our room now, to find a mug with steam coming out of the top. Grabbing the mug there was a little honey bear behind it. It was tea. A spoon was already in the cup and I grabbed the bear squirting honey in before mixing it and taking a sip.
My throat was still aching but it helped tremendously. Looking around the room I saw Cloud standing in the doorway. He motioned for me to get up and follow him. I was careful in moving Roxas as I quickly made my way over to Cloud. He brought me into his and Leon's room sitting me down on the bed.
"Leon told me what happened. So I thought I'd come talk to you. Your parents aren't going to be coming home for a long while. Axel I'm sorry to say this... they got arrested for possessing drugs." Cloud whispered drawing me into his lap.
"But there coming back... that house... my house... if I'm not there they won't come back." I whimpered.
I didn't return to school for a week.
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I was seventeen when I lost my virginity. It was to a blond girl named Larxene. She was nineteen. I didn't tell Roxas, in fact I didn't tell anyone. A week later I ended up at a college party drunk. I never came home that night because I was to busy drinking my pain away and fucking my best friend. We decided to become fuck buddies. It didn't mean that I still didn't sleep around with other people when given the chance but he was the first one that I called.
We went to parties every weekend and had sex. I never told Roxas because he was always out with his fucking boy toy Hayner. When I questioned him one night as I smoked a cigarette in our room he admitted that he was still a virgin.
"No way!" I snickered flicking the finished cigarette out of the window.
"Yes way! So what about you?" He asked his eyes wide and bright.
"I'm seventeen so what do you think?" I chuckled. It was two in the morning. We hadn't talked like this in a long time. "I miss you Roxas, I miss us hanging out. Where's that little five year old that clung to my pants leg all the time huh?"
"Grew up I suppose." He offered.
"You didn't care that I was dirty, or that my home life was a wreck..." I started.
"Still don't. Axel your my best friend..."
"What about Hayner? Seems your boy toy and his tag along occupy most of your time." I responded lighting up another cigarette. Antyhing to calm my nerves. I was hopelessly in love with my best friend but I wasn't about to admit it.
"He's not my boy toy! He's my friend... wait are you jealous?" Roxas asked a small smile creeping on his face.
"Fuck you!" I growled blowing smoke out of the small crack in the window.
Roxas giggled until he was full blown out laughing. "Your jealous!" If I wasn't in love with that fucking sexy as hell face I would have punched it by now. But I couldn't I was in love at the moment. Of course I was jealous! I wouldn't be saying any of those things if I wasn't jealous!
After finally putting out my cigarette I threw myself on the bed arms stretched out. The bed dipped and I looked over to see Roxas crawling towards me. Giggling he flopped on top of me. Breathing wasn't an option for the next few seconds as I strained to get the hundred and ten pound fifteen year old off my chest.
"Rox come on!" I laughed attempting to roll us over but to no avail. His feet found purchase on the comforter, and his hands were wrapped around the bedpost. "Roxy!"
"What are the magic words?" He asked nuzzling his face in the sheets next to my chest.
Sighing I shook my head as Roxas started bouncing against my chest the bed squeaking in protest to the extra weight. Squeak, squeak the sound was already getting on my nerves. Everyone was asleep and I was afraid to wake them all up. My first thought was to try and dislodge myself... squeak, squeak. That fucking noise! Squeak, squeak! "Ok fine! Please!"
Squeak, squeak.
"Please what?" He asked never ceasing his bouncing.
"Please get the hell off me! Your giving me a headache!" I whined thrashing around but Roxas only gripped me tighter.
"What will you give me?" He asked finally ceasing the bouncing motion. I was confused by this entirely. Roxas would always get me to beg in some form or another before finally getting off of me but this was different. What exactly could the blond have in mind? So I didn't say anything, instead I just waited hoping the answer would be given to me. "A kiss... I want a kiss then I'll get off."
A kiss? Roxas and I hadn't exchanged kisses since we were small. I didn't know what to do, or really even say. He was staring at me curiously now cerulean orbs wide with a small smile on his tanned face. I was able to finally pull my arm free and sweep back honey blond hair. I could demand he get off me or I could kiss him.
"Come on Ax," He whined bouncing me back on the bed. "It's just a kiss!"
Smiling I shook my head, "Your fifteen Roxas its not just a kiss... when your older ask me again and then tell me it's just a kiss." He was stunned and I was able to finally push him off. Rolling over my back was facing him and I closed my eyes.
We went to sleep and never spoke of that night again. It was as if it never happened. I wasn't ever going to forget. We continued sleeping beside each other, my arms always wrapped around his waist as he nuzzled his face in my chest. "I love you Roxy." I whispered every night but only after I was sure he was asleep.
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A year later I had graduated from high school at the second of my class. Demyx and I had become quiet close and had even considered dating. Sora and Roxas had threw a giant graduation party. I was stunned I hadn't been expecting anything really, I mean of course they were in the bleachers but so was everyone else's parents. Roxas had made a cake and had even chipped in with Sora to get me my very own laptop for when I went to college here in Radiant Garden.
At the moment Cloud and Leon were the only ones who knew I was going to college away from Radiant Garden. After the party when I had to break the news to Roxas that I was in fact going to school at Twilight Town it sparked the biggest fight we'd had since... well since ever. Roxas and I never fought!
"Why are you going away?" Roxas screamed stamping his foot. I was going to remind him that he was sixteen but I doubted that would help the sitaution any.
Cloud had already sat me down sometime before and informed me that my parents had been released from jail when I was thirteen. They moved to Twilight Town but were soon arrested again on not only drug possession but murder charges to. The jury didn't care if it was accidental or not, they were high as kites and murder was still murder.
"I wanted to see my family again." I whispered hanging my head.
"But we're your family! Damn it! Axel I don't understand... I thought we were your family!" I wanted to stay in fact the college here in Radiant Garden was the first one to accept me. But I couldn't.
"My parents are behind bars! I haven't seen them in eight years! Roxas you've been with your family your entire life! I want to see them again, I want them to remember me..." Shaking my head I walked out of the room and out of the house. I was leaving with Demyx in two days anyway to start setting up. We were going to rent an apartment and look for part time jobs so we could start saving money.
If he had just asked me I would have stayed. I would have confessed to him right there if he asked me to stay! He didn't. So I went to Demyx's heartbroken and in tears. I hadn't cried since my family was taken away but now I couldn't hold back. How many years had Roxas and I known each other? Eleven, now that I thought about it we had known each other for eleven years.
Demyx's house was only a five minute walk. It gave me time to think as I walked through the warm night air. I wanted to stay, god knows I did but it seemed apparent that he didn't feel that way about me. I loved Roxas so much and I was so possessive of him that I knew if he even tried dating that boy toy that he hung around all the time I would kill him. Roxas was mine and mine alone! He was my everything, he was obsession.
He starred in every fantasy I ever had. Even with Demyx the only one I thought about was Roxas. I hadn't realized I had made it to Demyx's house until I was standing outside the front door.
Demyx's parents were out of town a lot of the times so he mostly had the house to himself. Upon opening the door all I could hear was moaning and giggling. "Zexion..." That voice it was Demyx's and it sounded like at the moment he was currently engaged. There was another moan that followed and I quietly backed out locking and softly closing the door behind me.
I knew that Demyx was pinning after this periwinkle haired guy for a long time. Apparently though they had made it official. My old house was the next place I visited. There was a giant For Sale sign in the yard. It looked like it had been abandoned for a few years now. The door was unlocked and there was furniture littering the house with plastic sheets covering it. There was a fine layer of dust covering the sheets, the upstairs looked the same until I visited my old bedroom.
Everything that I owned, which wasn't much, was gone. It had been replaced with what used to be an old study. My parents when I was little had dug up the floorboards in my closet once to hide a stash of alcohol. They were high and I remembered them giggling as they hid it thinking it was the smartest thing to do. Crawling over to the old closet I pulled the door open and made my way inside. There was no light, so I made do with swiping my hands across the floorboards until I felt what I was looking for.
It was raised more so than the rest of the floorboards. The boards were somewhat rotted so it was easy to pry them away. There stashed in the small space were bottles upon bottles of unopened liquor. I grabbed a clear bottle with brown liquid sloshing around. Turkey Honey was what the label read. I had drank some of this before, well I had shots of it before, and made the mistake of mixing it with white liqour... that didn't turn out so well.
Popping the cap I took a long swig. It burned going down and tasted like cough syrup. Where the hell was the honey? Shaking my head I took another swig before pulling the bottle and a few others out of the hiding spot. I came here all the time when I needed time to think. As far as I knew the couple I had interrupted when I first found out they were looking at the house didn't last very long. No one ever did.
I wasn't going to Demyx's and I surely wasn't going home so I might as well stay here and drink. No one would even know I was here, I would just drown my sorrow in this liqour bottle.
Roxas didn't love me and it looked like Demyx was moving on to Zexion quiet nicely. Or moving under, Demyx was a better bottom than he was a top. It was an experiment that hadn't gone to well. I just stayed at Demyx's that night and made him cater to my every want. It was the closest we had ever gotten to a real relationship. He held me that night and we exchanged kisses and I would be lying if I said I wasn't imagining it being me and Roxas.
I was so fucking in love with that kid it was crazy. So I grabbed the bottle and downed some more. I must have started to hallucinate because in walked Roxas, worry creasing his brow.
"Ax!" He cried rushing over and dropping beside me. "So this is where you went." I giggled and held out the bottle I had been drinking out of.
It was a clear liquid... huh I swear the liquid I was drinking before was brown. Brown and white something bad was supposed to happen right? Shrugging I chugged more of the liquid loving how it made the world spin around and around.
"Vodka? Really Ax? What the hells this? Turkey Honey, Ax did you seriously just drink this whole thing by yourself? Your going to be throwing up in no time! Give me that bottle!" He growled snatching the bottle away.
"S'ine!" I whimpered reaching for the bottle that the three Roxas' were holding. Wait when did there become three? Grinning I reached for the one on the left but instead of grabbing him, he vanished and I face planted the floor. "Roxy!" I slurred picking myself up and leaning on the Roxas in the middle. "I woooves you!"
"Yeah love you to." He responded attempting to push me away.
I grabbed his arm and shook my head trying hard to see past the three heads. There was something I had to tell him! But my brain was foggy and Roxas was looking like he was scared. I had to tell him! It was a life or death situation! I had to do it but my fucking head was in the clouds and all I could was try not to laugh as I put on my best serious face.
"Roxas! I love you!" Somehow I managed to say it without feeling like I was going to throw up. But I was drunk off my ass it wasn't like he was going to believe me.
"I'm gonna go home and get a sleeping bag ok? I'll be back. You stay!" Reaching forward I was able to grab his wrist and pull him back.
"Sshhtay!" I slurred. Once he agreed I threw up on his shoes and laughed. He ended up dragging me to the bathroom, I guess they never turned the water off because it wasn't long and the shower was on. I had seen Roxas naked before, but this was a little bit different. In my head it was like he was giving a strip tease. First went the shirt, my eyes raked over the lean sun kissed chest and over hardened pink nipples.
I licked my lips as next went the pants leaving him in a pair of blue cotton boxers. He had taken off his shoes somewhere between dragging me to the bathroom so he was left barefoot. When he slowly slid down cotton boxers I lost it. He was already half hard that much I could see, and I wanted that body and I wanted it now! I didn't care what I had to do!
Lunging forward I knocked him down almost banging his head on the rim of the tub.
"Axel what the hell?" He cried. The rest of his protest died on his lips and was replaced with raw fear. "Ax... Ax please stop looking at me like that. Your scaring me!"
I pressed my lips against his managing to force his mouth open so that I could explore every inch of his mouth with my tongue.
I felt clearer now like the alcohol was no longer in my system and instead was replaced by pure adrenaline. "S'ok Roxy. I'll take good care of you. I told you that I loved you." I whispered pulling back from the kiss to tug at the lobe of his ear with my teeth.
He groaned before hands made their way on my chest and pushed. "Axel stop! Please."
Growling I went back to his lips again forcing them open and letting my tongue in back to explore. Warm and wet, he tasted of strawberries and apples and something that could only be described as Roxas. I trailed my kisses down his throat taking care to lie him down on the floor. Hands pushed at my chest but when they got nowhere they instead fisted themselves in my shirt.
I didn't want to look at Roxas face because I knew if I did I would stop and god knows I didn't want to stop! The sniffles tipped me off that he was crying but I couldn't stop I felt like I had held back long enough and all self restraint was gone! If I let him go now he'd never come back.
"Axel!" He whimpered when I latched onto a pert nub. Hands flew to my hair burying themselves until they were scratching my scalp.
I tried to convince myself that he was enjoying this. That he clearly wanted this. I was kissing his inner thighs when I heard him weeping. Looking up I saw tears running down his cheeks in rivulets. I scuttled back until I was at the door as Roxas quickly grabbed a towel and threw it over him.
"Roxas..." My head was swimming and it wasn't long before blackness overtook me.
It was probably afternoon when I finally woke up. Roxas was beside me eyes puffy and red but closed. It didn't take me long to find my shirt, he was wearing it and that was it. My head was pounding but through the pain I remembered clearly what I did to my best friend. I professed my love and then tried to rape him. I felt sick to my stomach. When I shifted Roxas eyes fluttered before finally opening.
"Axel?" He croaked it looked like he had been crying all night.
"I'm so sorry! Roxas I'm so sorry! Whatever I did to you, I remember a lot of it but did I... did we...?" I was so lost and confused I didn't want to even believe what my memories were trying to tell me.
"No... you just... we just kissed that's all." When I reached my hand out he pulled back before shaking his head and allowing me to draw him in my lap.
His neck was already sporting hickeys, I tried hard not to point that fact out. "When I finally got you back into the room you just kept saying over and over that you loved me. I didn't understand what you were talking about at first. I thought you were crazy, then I realized... that's why you attacked me. That's why your leaving here isn't it?" He tried to look up at me but I had placed my chin on his head.
I'm sure he felt me stiffen, saw the cogs turning around and around in my head looking for an escape. "Yes." I whispered so low that I'm sure he was barely able to hear it.
"That's selfish!" He cried wriggling his way out of my arms to jump up and jab a finger in my direction. "What if I love you to? I've been in love with you my whole life and the only reason why I didn't say anything is because I thought you were with Demyx!"
"I was only with him because I didn't think you'd feel the same way! We're two guys.." I started.
"Have you seen my parents lately? There two guys and they seem to make it work just fine!" He countered. "Are you afraid? What is it? Axel come on tell me." He pleaded dropping back down beside me.
"I was afraid that you wouldn't love me back. I wasn't the best looking kid when you first met me. I was dirty and my home life was falling apart. I'm an utter mess I didn't think you'd want to be involved in that." I whispered cupping his face. He leaned into the touch closing his eyes. He was content and a small smile graced his features. He was beautiful.
"Look at you now. Axel I was in love with you when we first met. I was five I thought if I said something you'd never let me hang around you again. We lived together and I was so afraid that you wouldn't accept me so I kept silent. Then Sora came in on you and Demyx one day but you guys didn't notice so I didn't say anything. I wanted you to be happy even if it meant I wasn't the one you were happy with." Roxas whispered.
"So what do we do now? Where do we go from here?" I asked leaning back against the wall.
"Well since we both obviously have feelings for each other, I think you should take me out on a date. Go to Demyx's and get prepared you'll pick me up at the house at seven." With a wink he stood up and slipped on his shoes.
"Um... Roxas you know your not wearing any pants right?" I questioned trying hard not to stare at the slightly see through shirt.
"You probably don't remember this part either but you threw up on that to.. and then my shirt... I had to take two showers." He responded before he noticed my gaze. "Hey now we haven't even been on a first date." With that he turned around and headed out down the stairs and out of the house.
He was so fucking sexy and amazing ... and even after I had threw up on him like three times and tried to rape him while I was drunk he wanted to go out on a date with me. "I fucking love that kid." I said to the empty house.
I did as I was instructed and went straight to Demyx's. He welcomed me with open arms and only clad in a pair of boxers. "So you and Zexion." I said with a small smile.
"I was going to tell you..." He started his face darkening.
Shaking my head I brushed passed him to see said Zexion lounging on the couch in a shirt and pair of boxers. "You better make him happy. As many times as I had to hear him go on and on about his love for you well you better be damn worth it!"
"You really care about him." He said. Periwinkle hair covered a pale face except for one blue eye. He gave me a once over before smiling, "I don't have any intentions of ever hurting Demyx."
"Guys come on enough talking its three in the afternoon already!" Demyx was giggling and jumping around.
"Relax Dem we still have four hours to go!" I responded plopping down next to Zexion on the couch. Demyx humphed and walked over curling up in Zexion's lap letting out a huge yawn. "Didn't get much sleep last night hm?" His face turned beet red as he hid his face in Zexion's shoulder.
We ended up watching tv until around five when Demyx started flapping his arms around like a bird and shrieking. Pulling me upstairs Demyx demanded that I undress while he and Zexion go fetch my clothes. Turning the taps I tried to get it as hot as I could before it would start melting my skin off. It wasn't long before the door opened and Zexion announced that my clothes were ready.
I stayed in there for about twenty minutes before pulling the curtain and coming out face to face with a grinning Demyx.
"Where's Zexion?" I whimpered reaching around to try and find a towel. Anything to cover myself with, I mean now that Demyx and Zexion were together him seeing me naked was just a little awkward!
Giggling his face heated up to a bright red before answering, "He's a little preoccupied at the moment." That was something I really didn't need to know. Just the thought alone made me blanch.
Finally, after a long moment I was given a towel to dry off with. After it became clear that I wasn't going to be dressed any time soon I sat down on the closed toilet seat and let Demyx go to work. After combing my hair he pulled out the hair dryer and went to work.
I'd hear a curse from him every once and while as he attempted to flatten my natural spikes. Good luck to him because after eighteen years I'd just given up. "Ax..." Demyx whined for probably the third time in five minutes. "Tell your spikes to work with me here!"
After a twenty minute hair drying session I was ready to get dressed right? Nope! it was only 5:40 by the little digital clock in his bedroom. Apparently next came make up but after a lot of shouting and twenty more minutes of me hiding and streaking through the house we had an hour left. Zexion finally managed to hide me in Demyx's parents room under the bed when I realized that I had lost my towel.
Zexion came back me to red faced hand over his eyes as he handed me my forgotten towel. Thanking him I made my way out from under the bed and wrapped the towel around my waist. The clothes Demyx had gotten for me was a plain white V neck shirt paired with a black blazer. Dark wash jeans were next and a little bottle of lube was tucked in my back pocket along with my wallet.
"I won't need a condom? Wait how do I even know he wants to have sex with me?" I cried. I wanted to be as safe as possible.
"Hey! I'm clean! Geez been sleeping around with anyone else besides me?" Demyx asked with a wink.
Sighing I shook my head. "No, Dem no one else but you and then before you of course there was Larxene but that's really it. And then the few other times when you weren't with me at parties but that's it!" Of course it wasn't like I hadn't had myself tested before. I mean you never knew. I wanted to be safe! I wanted Roxas more importantly to be safe. "Exactly where am I taking Roxas for our date?" I was pretty sure Roxas and Demyx had cooked something up or at least Demyx and Zexion.
This time it was Zexion's turn to smile. "Demyx and I had planned a date down at that new restaurant called Atlantica. It's down at Destiny Island and there's also an amusement park that we got you guys tickets for." With that Zexion pulled them out of his pocket and handed them to me.
"Guys... I feel awful I haven't even done anything for you guys! Yet your doing all this for Roxas and I." I responded, "Thank you guys so much."
"If you guys hadn't gotten together by now we would have sent you off on a date anyway." Demyx giggled.
"So uh guys... I'm still pretty much naked except for this towel... can I get some clothes on now?"
An hour passed and I was starting to get really nervous. When I had ten minutes left Demyx and Zexion looked me over before handing me my keys and sending me out. When I got home I didn't know what to do. I just stood there hand curled in a fist and raised to knock on the door. Did I just walk in? Or should I knock and request for Roxas?
I mean I kinda lived here. I stood there for probably a solid two minutes before the door swung open and Roxas peeked his head out. "Axel!" He grinned throwing himself in my arms causing me to take a few steps backwards. He was wearing a light blue button down shirt with a pair of jeans and sneakers.
"Roxas, you smell nice." I said placing a small kiss on his forehead. He smelled like his shampoo strawberries and apples. What I really wanted to tell him was that I loved him. Well I had already done that once but I wanted to say it again. I wanted to say it over and over again.
Confusion flitted across his face for a moment before he smiled again. Taking his hand in mine I led him to my car. A blue Honda Civic, opening the passenger side door I waited until Roxas was seated comfortably before shutting the door.
The silence... oh god the silence it was incredibly suffocating. The dinner was wonderful, Roxas had ordered a lobster tail with steamed veggies and his favorite mashed potatoes. I ended up ordering a lobster pizza. Roxas had giggled all through the order and I couldn't stop from smiling.
From then on it just went down hill. We ate in silence and I'm pretty sure the whole fucking restaurant knew by now that our relationship was crashing and burning. The quizzical stares that Roxas was sending me was doing nothing to help the nervousness I was feeling inside.
Next came the amusement park but I didn't even know if I could stomach that right now. It was dark out but the lights from the park were bright and colorful. The Ferris Wheel lazily made its way around stopping every once and a while to let off passengers and let new ones in. After giving the man at the front our tickets we made our way inside. We didn't hold hands although mine was itching to grab his.
After a few minutes of wandering around and having the workers shout out for people to come play the games, and having kids screaming past us, Roxas finally spoke.
"You know part of dating is holding hands, and a little PDA isn't so bad either."
Stopping in my tracks I opened and closed my mouth several times before letting out a loud laugh. Taking his hand in mine I pressed my lips lightly against each knuckle before dragging him to one of the game booths. "Come on I'm going to win you one of those over sized Heartless!" I cried.
The game we picked was one of those balloon games. I was given five darts, if I popped all five balloons I would win the big prize. Three balloons earned a medium sized and two for a small prize. I got all five and Roxas picked out the giant black heartless that he wanted. It looked sorta like a giant ant but much cuter.
We rode rides together before I ended up winning him a stuffed dog and another Heartless. One for his twin Sora, Roxas had claimed as we hauled around the stuffed toys. We ate cotton candy and corn dogs and nachos with cheese. We had sea salt ice cream something that was Roxas absolute favorite. At the end of the night we put the stuffed animals on the empty seat opposite us on the Ferris Wheel.
I made the cart rock as we got higher and higher up making Roxas squeal in delight. Once we got to the top Roxas pressed his nose to the glass to look out past the parking lot and amusement park to the very top of the sky where the moon was hanging, shining bright.
"Its beautiful out tonight isn't it?" He asked pulling back from the window to let me have a look.
But I was already looking at something far more beautiful. "Yes, you are." I whispered before leaning forward and capturing his lips with mine. He was startled at first but quickly responded.
He tasted like nacho cheese and I couldn't stop myself from allowing my tongue to trace the seam of his lips. I wasn't sure how many rounds we made on the Ferris Wheel, all I knew was that we were making out the whole time. Once they stopped to let us off we grabbed the stuffed toys and booked it to the car.
Leaning into the passenger side I pressed another kiss to Roxas lips, shut the door and jogged around to the front seat. We made it home in record time, by the time we pulled into the driveway Roxas and I both had our seatbelts unbuckled.
When the car was turned off we were already halfway out. Roxas jumped in my arms his legs winding around my waist. Grabbing his thighs I hoisted him up higher our lips pressing together in a hot searing kiss. Arms wound around my neck as I tried hard to guide us inside the house. Door unlocked we made our way into the living room, but not before we kicked the door shut behind us.
"Upstairs," Roxas moaned in between kisses as he started sucking on random patches of skin on my neck.
Groaning I managed to nod as I carried him upstairs. I didn't even care about the fucking door all I wanted was this sexy as hell person writhing underneath me screaming in pleasure. Throwing him on the bed I climbed on top resuming our earlier activities.
That shirt was fucking teasing me, all of the exposed skin that he was showing that was just begging to be kissed, licked and nipped. After some time I broke the kiss to trail more across his neck. I sucked on patches of skin until they were an angry red, before moving to the next. I loved listening to the moans that he let loose, the way he would arch his back his crotch rubbing against mine. The friction was absolutely delicious and I graoned pressing against him harder in an effort to get some relief.
Pulling back I quickly unbuttoned Roxas' shirt in my haste to get the offending thing off. But I was quickly distracted by pink nipples that were in desperate need of my attention. I couldn't stop from trailing my tongue across one listening to the high pitched whines that Roxas was making.
"Axel!" He whimpered his fingers gripping the bed sheets and tugging. Growling I sucked the other pink nipple in my mouth and swirled my tongue around. "Axel!" He was now pawing at his pants trying hard to rip them off.
Sitting up I pulled my shirt off and went back to peppering kisses along his cheeks and eyes and his lips. "Roxy... are you sure about this?" I didn't want him to hurt him, I didn't want him to regret anything that we ever did. I wanted us to be happy together.
"Yes, I'm so sure! Please Axel don't leave me like this!" He whined tugging at his pants. I made quick work of his belt, stripping his pants and boxers off in one swift motion. Sitting on the edge of the bed I took a good look at Roxas.
Sweat was beading up on his forehead and his hair was splayed across the pillows like golden honey. Lips kiss swollen and bruised were parted and he was panting his shirt was still intact but that could be easily fixed. Smooth tone stomach that had been kissed by the sun, with smooth creamy thighs that just begged to be ravished.
There in the middle of those amazing looking legs was what I was really looking for. My prize and damn Roxas was pretty well hung to!
"Ax?" His already big eyes were wide and I couldn't stop from watching as his hand crept down to slowly stroke himself off. Licking my lips I leaned down licking a trail from his ball sac to the very tip of his penis. Tonguing the slit he whimpered arching his back up.
I couldn't tease him long before he was whimpering grabbing my hair and forcing me to take some of his length in. Groaning my pants tightened even more if that was possible, which sent Roxas into another frenzy. I bobbed my head up and down a few times as I reached with one hand in my pants to try and get some relief no matter how small.
Pulling back I suckled on the head as clear drops of precum oozed out. I swirled my tongue around the head giving a harsh suck every few moments. What I didn't cover with my mouth I used my hands to stroke. The whole time he whimpered and tugged on my hair until he finally cried out, "Axel! I'm close. So close."
"Ax! Mmm Ax s-s-stop! Gonna, I'm gonna c-c-cum!" He screamed arching his back as he came hard. I continued suckling until I had milked him dry and then I pulled off with a pop.
He was sweating and panting his eyes closed as he slowly came down from his high. "Let me..." He started sitting up but I quickly pushed him back down.
"No, no I want you to enjoy this." I whispered nuzzling his neck while peppering him with kisses. He moaned leaning over to face me so that our lips could connect. It wasn't lust filled or needy just sweet and sensual.
I kissed every inch of his body, nipping his inner thighs before reaching back to the place I desired the most. Once he was hard again I slowly stroked him off while i grabbed the bottle of lube from the back pocket of my jeans. Standing up I rid myself of my jeans and boxers popping the cap as I did so and smearing the cold gel on my fingers.
Licking my lips I slowly eased one finger in the puckering pink hole. Eyes closed he whined a moment before I pressed my lips against his. "Shhh it's ok you'll be fine. We can stop any time you want you know that right?" I asked.
He nodded his eyes still clenched closed tight. "Say it for me. Please." I whispered waiting for a reply before I added another digit.
"Yes I know!" He whined, "Don't stop!"
With that out of the way I added a second finger and then a third. Scissoring my fingers I stretched the tight ring of muscle searching for that one special spot deep inside of him. Once I pressed against that nerve he screamed. Obviously he had never touched himself quiet like this before.
After brushing his prostate a few times I withdrew my fingers and grabbed the discarded tube. Groaning I squirted the gel on my hands and slicked my cock up. Spreading his legs farther apart I lined myself up with his entrance before snapping my hips and burying myself into the hilt.
Tears sprang to his eyes and I kissed them away as he tried to get used to the intrusion. It was hard to wait, oh god it was so hard. He was squeezing me so tight and his walls were like velvet and the heat it was amazing.
"Your... Ngh... your a virgin." I tried to ask but it came out more as a statement. I mean he had once told me he was but I hadn't really believed it!
"You can move now." He whispered after a while. Pulling back I slowly thrust back in building a rhythm that Roxas could get used to. He whimpered so I snapped my hips thrusting back in harder.
I didn't realize that his arms were around my neck until he brought me down for another searing kiss. I thrust into him faster and harder until he dropped back down on the bed and screamed rocking his hips and meeting me thrust for thrust.
His nails dug harshly in my back as another cry ripped through his throat. His walls were like fucking velvet they were so soft and I was desperately hunting that special spot. Once I hit it he arched his back and cried out. Slipping my hand between our sweaty bodies I grabbed his erection and started stroking him off.
A few more thrusts later and Roxas' back arched off the bed cum spurting out. I wasn't far behind him and with a few shallow thrusts I was filling him with my seed. Pulling out I lay down and pulled Roxas in my arms. "Axel." He moaned his eyes slowly sliding closed.
Pressing a kiss to his temple I pulled Roxas up so that he was lying on my chest. It wasn't long before I fell asleep to. I was the first to wake up the next morning, so I just lay there and watched Roxas sleep. I rubbed small circles on his naked back and thought about the other previous partners I'd had. None of them compared to Roxas. He was perfect, absolutely perfect.
An hour later his eyes fluttered open and he smiled when he saw me. My heart went into over drive as I pressed my lips against his. "Good morning Angel." I whispered.
His breath hitched in his throat and he smiled before whispering a good morning. As I figured he was in pain so I hoisted him up in my arms and carried him to the bathtub, where I ran a hot bath and helped him settle in. I crawled in behind him allowing him to rest on my chest.
"So where is everyone exactly?" I asked after a moment of silence. No one had greeted us at the door as we made our way inside.
"Um... well... Leon took dad out for a date and... Sora and Riku went to Riku's house. When I told them that you were taking me out on a date and that... um... well..." His face heated up to a bright red and he looked away busying himself with grabbing the soap and shampoo.
"Your family knows we had sex?" I gulped. At Roxas nod I sank lower into the tub. "Your dad's going to kill me..."
"Daddy would never hurt you!" Roxas cried pressing his lips to my bare chest.
We stayed in the water for a little longer before washing up. I carried Roxas out and into the living room where I sat him down on the couch and went to the kitchen to fix something for breakfast. I had just gotten done and was curling up under the blankets with Roxas when the door opened and everyone scrambled in.
"So how was last night?" Sora asked as he and Riku took a seat opposite of us. Roxas face turned a bright red and I just grinned.
"It was amazing." I said nuzzling Roxas neck. He giggled and took a bite of buttered toast.
"So you guys are...?" Sora started his eyes growing wide.
"Yeah." Roxas said his eyes drifting over to mine.
"So you took my sons virginity?" Cloud asked his eyes narrowing into slits as he glared at me.
I spluttered and choked on my food looking for answer but thankfully Roxas saved me. "Daddy! You know exactly what was going to happen I love Axel! Why do you all of a sudden have a problem with it now?"
"I don't have a problem with it Roxas sweetie I just want to know that he feels the same about you." Cloud responded arms crossed.
"I love your son. I've loved him since he first started talking to me. I've already called the schools I'm going to college here until Roxas graduates. I'm going to be a pyrotechnic and support us. And if you'll allow it I want to marry your son!" I stated standing up in front of Roxas my arms out in a protective stance.
"Um... Axel... does this mean your... proposing?" Roxas spluttered.
"Yeah... yeah I guess I am." I said turning around and extending my hand. "I don't have a ring but I'll get one, one day."
Looking past me Roxas looked to his father for confirmation. Once he received it he jumped in my arms and we kissed.
Demyx already knew that I was going to be staying. He wished me good luck kissed my cheek and left for Twilight Town. School started off without a hitch as I tried juggling that and my part time job at the coffee shop. Roxas graduated from high school two years later and on graduation day I proposed to him the right way.
We married not soon after and rented an apartment close to the college. I was finishing up my degree as a pyrotechnics while Roxas was going to be a social worker. He wanted to help kids like me that were coming from rough families who needed a home that loved them and cared for them.
I learned from Demyx later on that my parents were in jail for life. I stopped writing to them because I didn't need to. I could call them up at anytime if I wanted. Cloud, Leon and Sora they were my family. Roxas was my wonderful husband who had seen right past the grime torn clothes to something that lay deeper inside. At five years old he came into my life and sunk his claws in my heart and had never let me go.
I was so grateful to him and for his family... no now they were also my family for taking me in and caring for me. If it weren't for them I don't know where I'd be and that was what made Roxas so passionate about it. Every day he would come home exhausted but happy. And every time when I had to travel he was there right by my side. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
So when he came home tonight I was going to surpise him because tonight was our anniversary. The anniversary of when he first found me.
A/N: This fucking monster took forever! I'm shitty at endings but I hoped you guys enjoyed it! Sorry if the lemon sucks I'm still working on it! Haha anyway for those of you that made it to the end horray! I hope you enjoyed and leave me some love, in the form of a review! Happy late Akuroku day everyone!
xoxo Royal