Mail Call.

Finally.

Quickly, I got out of my bunk, making my way towards the lovely man who gave us our mail.

You see, I enlisted in the army when I was twenty.

I left for Iraq when I was twenty-one.

And I'll be twenty-four when I am no longer a soldier.

I promised Ashley, my beautiful, amazing fiancee that I wouldn't re-enlist.

We're planning on getting married when I get back.

Well, when I'm back for good.

I still have to wait another year for that.

Once I was handed my mail, I quickly thumbed through the envelopes, searching for a specific name on the return address.

Ashley Davies.

I walked as fast as I could, without breaking into a sprint, back to my bunk.

I opened the letter, quickly removing the loose leaf from it's small compartment.

I frowned at the opening line.

She never called me Spencer.

Dear Spencer;
You know what they say about taking off a band-aid? "Just rip it off, it'll hurt less." Well, I was going to do that, but instead I took the cowards way out. The whole take it off inch by inch routine. Right now, though, I'm going to tell you exactly what it is I've been babbling about. You've been gone for so long now; over a year. The first few months were really hard, so I started going out to clubs alone, meeting new people, making friends. One night, though, I got a little...well, really drunk. I had a one night stand, but soon it turned into an affair. I'm sorry, but I can't be with you anymore. I love her. I was hoping that maybe we could still be friends, you know like we were so long ago? Even though I know we haven't been just friends for seven years now. Once again, I'm sorry. Be careful out there.
With love,
Ashley

I looked down at the paper, it had tear drops soaked into the paper, the pen smearing down the page. A friend of mine, Alisha, sat down on the bunk next to me as I sobbed, rubbing my back.

"It'll be okay."

I looked at her, choking out my reply.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Seven years of my life just got thrown in the trash."

Wiping my tears, composing myself, like any good soldier, I walked out of the bunker, into the office of my commanding officer.

"Carlin, what are you doing here?"

"May I use your phone, m'am?"

"What for?"

"Permission to speak freely?"

She nodded.

"A seven year relationship, three year engagement, just ended for some girl in a bar."

"Carlin, I can't let you call someone for that."

I let my guard down with those words.

I was no longer a soldier, just a broken-hearted woman.

"Please?"

Sighing, the woman nodded.

"You get fifteen minutes."

"Thank you, m'am."

The woman left the room as I walked behind her desk to dial the familiar number.

It rang three times before an unfamiliar woman answered.

"Hello?"

"Who the fuck are you?"

I let out a bitter laugh.

"You're her aren't you?"

"You got her letter."

"Ten minutes ago."

"I'll put her on."

After a moment, I heard Ashley's voice.

"Spence?"

"No, don't even call me that."

"Okay, Spencer."

"Why? What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong..."

"No, I was just gone."

"Yeah."

"Ashley, for christ sake, it's not like I'm on a fucking vacation!"

"I didn't say your were...and be careful with the whole name thing."

"Honestly, do I sound like I care if anyone knows I'm engaged to another woman? Oh wait. I'm not anymore."

"Spence..."

"No, what did I tell you?"

"Right, sorry."

"I knew you moved fast, but did you really just let her move in? Is my stuff at my parents' house now?"

"That isn't fair, Spencer, you know that."

"No, I actually don't know that. What I do know, though, is that it isn't fair that we're even having this conversation."

"Spencer..."

"No, fuck you, Ashley!" I yelled the first part, but my voice turned soft as the tears ran down my face. "Just...fuck you."

"I'm sorry."

"That doesn't change anything. You still cheated. You still broke my heart. And here's the best part; I'm going to have to resign because now I'm liability."

Ignoring the rest, she addressed my last statement.

"You're just gay, how are you a liability?"

"When you want to die and it's your job to keep others alive, you're a fucking liability, Ashley."

I hung up the phone, quickly dialing Glen's number.

"Hello, Glen Carlin here."

"Glen, it's Spencer, can you do my a favor?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Get my shit out of the apartment, unless she already moved it."

"Spence, what happened?"

"Ask her playmate when you get there."

"She..."

"Cheated and is apparently in love with whoever the fuck this girl is...just, please, I can't come back to that."

"Of course, baby sis."

"I'll see you soon, Glen."

"Soon?"

"Glen, I was just screaming at Ashley. Every single officer just heard me...and right now, I'm barely fit to take care of myself let alone the rest of my unit."

"There's room in my apartment, I'll set up your shit in there."

"Thanks."

"Take care of yourself, okay? Eat all your meals, shower, you know, that shit."

I smiled despite the tears that were still silently running down my face.

"Love you, bro."

"Love you too, roomie."

"Don't remind me...I already went through that shit when we were kids."

He laughed.

"Bye, Spence."

"Bye, Glen."

I hung up, turning around to see my commanding officer.

"Carlin, homosexual conduct is against policy."

"I know."

"I'm going to have to put you up for review."

"Don't waste the resources, just sign the papers and I'm gone...I'm no good here anyway."

"Carlin, are you okay to be going home?"

She asked, probably due to what I'd said to Ashley before I hung up.

"I'll be staying with my brother, he'll be home except for work and when he goes out to convince himself not to kill Ashley or whoever her girlfriend is now."

"Sounds like a good brother."

"Yeah, he definitely is."

Yeah, I still felt like dying, but with my brother there, I knew I could make it through this in one piece.