Disclaimer: I don't own the Legend of Zelda. If I did… xD
"Expect the Unexpected" is rated "K+"

Edit: Oops, fixed a typo. Thanks, Waffleface. :) Please let me know if there are any more! (I have such a hard time seeing my own mistakes. xD)

Expect the Unexpected
A Legend of Zelda Fanfiction

Zelda, my dear girl, heed this warning from an elderly, battle-hardened man. Things are not always what they seem. Always expect the unexpected.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it already!"

Oops. I think I might have screamed that a little too loud. On top of my brilliant steed, a stark-white stallion I named Byrne, I raced past various farm settlements on the outskirts of Hyrule, thankful my deep burgundy cloak hid my face as the villagers' perplexed stares burned my cheeks a deep scarlet. I could hear their panicked and confused whispers…

Is that an enemy? Who is she? Why are there so many strange beings appearing out of nowhere? Are we doomed? I can't take much more of this!

I bit my lip, rivers of salty tears pouring down my face as the last thing I remembered from my beloved and once-peaceful-home was the screams, screams so loud it could rip your ears apart from the shear volume, and crimson from the blood spilling from the helpless townspeople. The enemies—they called themselves the Herudo or something like that, I was too busy staring at their swords to pay attention—came out of nowhere, insisting that my father, the King, abdicate his throne or watch even more people die. Thankfully, the outlying villages were still unharmed, but I did not know for how long. It was only a matter of time before the rumblings of rumors from the city became rumblings of a stampede of war horses. My father's desperate plea for me to run and get help echoed over and over in my mind.

Despite the relative poverty of the outlying regions and the monsters that lurked behind every tree and nook and cranny, the outlying regions had the lowest death toll of all Hyrule. The reason for this, according to my father's words, was due to the regions' legendary hero, as they called him. Stories of this hero reached every part of Hyrule, from the tallest mountains to the deepest valleys. Even I, a sheltered princess who never left the castle, had heard of his wonderful deeds. Apparently, for the past five years, this strong hero, so courageous not even the foulest of creatures could frighten, protected the people with his beautiful shining sword. He was stronger than a warthog and more nimble than a monkey. Although few people knew his appearance, those that did said he was so handsome he could enchant even the most beautiful of women with his chiseled physique and his sparkling eyes. All I knew was his name…Link.

The rumors claimed Link was the master swordsman and chief of the smallest, furthest village of them all, a teeny town called Ordona. Very few actually went to Ordona, and it was said that the hero Link could travel at light's speed on the fastest horse Hyrule had ever seen…a brown, chestnut mare named Epona.

The stories were so grand that I was eager to meet such an incredible and spectacular man. How many battles had he fought? What knowledge had he earned over such a time? Why did he protect the people? Questions turned over and over in my mind, head pounding because they wanted to escape, to burst out and finally be asked. Maybe he had a wife and child that inspired him to protect, or something equally romantic and heroic. Part of me sure hoped that wasn't the case, because Father said something about him being a potential husband for me. I would surely love such a strong man over some pompous prince from some minor country of who-knows-where.

A loud whinny broke me out of my rambles as Byrne came to a halting stop, almost knocking me off his back from the sheer force. I clung to the reigns, my hands tinged with pink from the rope burn, the sensation tickling my toes, and not in a good way. I flung off my hood, ignoring my father's chiding that I must not be seen, and leapt off my horse gracefully, ready to scream at who—or what—caused my horse to stop so suddenly.

I was expecting some sort of barrier or stop sign, but instead, in the middle of the lone dirt path that ran through the forest, I saw the body of a young person, sprawled as if they had fallen face-first into the dusty yet damp mound of brown. Byrne whinnied softly, as if he too was just as perplexed as I, and tentatively nudged the figure with his hoof, careful not to actually harm the person. I grabbed my sword, trying to look as menacing as possible even though I'd never actually wielded one in my life.

"P…ple…please…" a soft voice croaked out.

Hmmm. Well, the person certainly didn't seem threatening, and Byrne pulled back his hoof as he too came to the same conclusion. I lowered my sword—just a little—and knelt down next to the figure. Besides, this person couldn't possibly do any real harm to me, because as I looked closer, they were skinny. Goddesses, I could see their ribs through their clothes!

"Are you okay?" I finally asked, trying not to sound as nervous as I felt.

"Please…food…"

I sighed. Yep, as usual, my powers of deduction were spot on. The poor person was probably hungry. Sure, they may enjoy peace thanks to the hero's protection, but that didn't mean poverty still reigned. Poor kid—I was starting to believe it was a kid due to the tiny size of their body—they must have been so hungry with nothing to eat. I gently leaned down and managed to pick up the child with relative ease despite my admittedly poor arm strength. Byrne knelt down and helped me coax the child onto his back.

Did I have time for this little detour? Of course not. But I couldn't just leave the poor kid, could I? What kind of princess would I be if I didn't help every one of my people, no matter how rich or poor they were? I took out my frazzled map, torn in various places from my furious scrunching, and managed to find a nearby inn.

With a cluck of my tongue and a small kick, I urged Byrne forward.

I don't think I'd ever seen one kid eat that much in my life.

Seriously, when was the last time the poor thing actually ate?

Now that the person had some energy stuffed into their belly, it allowed me to get a better glimpse of the one I rescued. Although I still knew very little about the one beside me, I decided to use my powers of deduction, my keen sense that never failed, to fill in the details about the individual myself.

Now that they weren't face-first in the ground, I had a clear look at their face, and boy, was she beautiful. She had pearl-blue eyes, eyes so gorgeous they looked like the summer sun dancing on top of the sparkling water. Her face was slim, just like her body, and her gorgeous honey-blonde mane was pulled into a messy ponytail, probably mussed from her earlier escapade in the mud. Both of her ears were pierced, a simple, silver hoop that complimented her already perfect complexion brilliantly. Her figure was to die for. She may not have had the biggest of busts, but her body curved in the right ways and her hips were greatly accentuated. She was dressed in some sort of a blue tunic, stained by splotches of mud and grass, but despite the messiness and twigs in her hair and her boyish clothing, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I could only stare, awestruck, not at the amount of food the girl consumed in such a short period of time, but at her shining white teeth. After her belly was finally full, the girl leaned back, a toothy grin spreading across her face.

"Boy, did that hit the spot!"

Her voice was a melodic alto, a teeny bit low for a female but still delicately feminine. I was still in awe. How could such a beautiful girl be left in such a state? Didn't she have people who protected her? Surely she must have admirers left and right. The girl was around my age, if not a little younger. Tearing myself away from the superficial commentary of the girl's body, I smiled. She certainly seemed happy, and I'm always overjoyed to help a fellow girl in need.

"Are you satisfied?" I asked, cringing how my voice seemed to grate on everyone's ears and was some sort of tone-deaf opera instead of a gentle aria.

"Yes, thank you!" The girl smiled and nodded, genuine joy written all over her face. Well, the joy lasted a sweet moment until the girl's face, once covered by a white smile, was tainted by a look of shame. "Uh…I can pay you back for this. Well, I can't actually pay you back, I mean, I can't pay with money because I don't have money, but…but…"

I laughed. The girl's eyes widened in surprise. I wiped away the tears of laughter than came, and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. How could I be angry at the poor dear? She was probably extremely poor and couldn't afford a decent meal. I had plenty of money. As I smiled gently at the girl, I couldn't help but notice the peculiar tinge of pink the highlighted the other girl's perfectly shaped cheeks. Was she…embarrassed? Well, that was possible. I thought for a moment. I should probably have a task for the girl to do in order to help her dignity. Well…

"You could help me, actually," I said kindly, moving a hair closer to the girl as her companion's blush turned an even brighter red. "I'm looking for the town of Ordona. Do you know it?"

Her face lit up, the same sort of childish joy that she had when she was eating. "Of course! You're in luck, actually, because that's my home."

So this was a true citizen of Ordona? Well, I was lucky. Ordona was notoriously difficult to find, and I probably would have struggled even with the map. The girl leapt up, stretched, and gave a small sigh.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!"

I would never understand where a girl who was on death's doorstep a mere hour ago got so much energy.

I frowned.

"Come on, Byrne," I said, trying to coax my steed in the direction the girl was pointing. She said something about the forest being deceptively tricky, especially for animals, and that most horses hated the path. I had been confident that Byrne would be fine, but now I wasn't so sure. "I said come on, boy. You've dealt with so much worse than this."

But he stubbornly refused to budge, tail flicking with annoyance and fear, and bared his teeth slightly. According to my travelling companion, it would be at least a day on foot. We didn't have that kind of time. We had to take Byrne. Truthfully, I was less than pleased with making my trusty partner going through something he was clearly uncomfortable with, but I didn't have time. Hyrule didn't have time. I wasted enough time rescuing the girl. Speaking of the girl…

"If you don't mind, could I try?"

"Well, you see, you can, but Byrne is a very particular horse. In all of his life, he's only really listened to me, and he can be very stubborn, and…" as I was rambling about how my horse was the most difficult horse to control in all of Hyrule, I didn't notice the girl leap off Byrne's back and stroke his muzzle. Because I was being annoying and I wouldn't shut up, a terrible habit of mine I was always trying to break, I didn't hear her sweet, soft lullaby that calmed my anxious horse in a matter of seconds.

Leaping back into the saddle behind me as if she was walking over a tiny nut, she smiled again. "It's okay, he's a brave horse. He can do it."

As if he was responding to her words, Byrne started to walk towards the deep forest, even without me coaxing him. My mouth agape, I turned to stare at my companion with a dumbfounded expression on my face.

She only continued to smile.

Things were going pretty smoothly until all of a sudden the girl grabbed my arms.

"Stop Byrne," she hissed.

I pulled back on the reigns, although I was more surprised at how powerful her surprisingly delicate grip was on my arm. I could feel the whish of her ponytail against my back as she glanced almost frantically side to side, instincts quite alert.

"We're not alone," she finally said in a low voice.

"We're not?" I gasped, fear creeping up my throat although I desperately tried to keep it down. She hissed again, almost like a feline, placing her hand over my mouth. I grimaced at her harsh shhh as she reached for the reigns…

All of a sudden, a giant, tentacled-spider leapt out from behind the trees. I screamed, unable to suppress my fear any longer, flashes of the horrible sights from Hyrule running through my mind. As I broke down, although I desperately tried not to, I heard the girl curse, an uncouth sound I was not expecting out of those pearly-pink lips, and reach for my bow that I always kept on Byrne's saddle. I wanted to protect her, to tell her I was the Princess of Hyrule and I was strong enough to save her, but my body continued to tremble, the ingrained sense of terror keeping me glued to the saddle.

The girl leapt off of Byrne, her own jump much more graceful than the hideous beast's, as she loaded not one, not two, but three arrows on my bow and aimed gracefully over the creature and let them all fly simultaneously, not an ounce of fear blemishing her confident face. The monster howled, and with that seemingly effortless display, it crumbled to the ground, unable to lift even a single tentacle any longer. As if this was all one continuous dance, she landed gracefully in the saddle, placing my bow back as if it was the finishing touch.

"Okay, that should do it," she said, her toothy grin returning. "He won't bother us anymore."

Once again, I stared at her with that idiotic dumbfounded expression.

…this was one strange girl.

There were more people in the town of Ordona than I was originally expecting. Although the little city was surrounded by terrifying and mystifying forests with beasties from who-knows-where, the city itself was in a lush meadow, with farms covered in plentiful harvests and farm animals happily grazing. It was like an oasis among a harsh dinner. After we entered Ordona, the girl jumped off and began leading Byrne with me on it through the city, as she said something about outsiders being "scary" to the villagers.

I was in awe, as if I was a visitor on a whole new planet, and I couldn't believe my eyes. In the heart of Hyrule, it was all industrialization and buildings as far as the eye could see, but here, no, here it was all about the simple life, and the grass, and the water…

"You're looking even more beautiful today, Koko," a new, whiny voice came in. To my left, a group of young teenage boys had gathered, holding some sort of wooden slingshot in their hands. Koko? Who…

"Shut up," my new friend growled, her annoyed reply fueled by vitriol. I also felt my eyes narrow. How dare they! Surely she was the most beautiful girl in Ordona, and perhaps even the most beautiful in Hyrule, but it was clear she did not like the attention. Besides, why would she ever like those boys? They were covered in dirt, so fat their blubber dribbled out of their clothes, and they seemed to be holding some sort of violent weapons.

Now that she thought about it, almost every member of Ordona was plump or slightly overweight. But…how? Why were they so…fat and the girl was so slim?

"By the way, Princess, why did you come to Ordona?" Koko—at least, I assumed her name was Koko—asked, clearly eager to find an excuse to ignore the disgusting pigs that masqueraded as boys.

"I'm looking for the master swordsman," I answered. "I hear that he's…" my voice stopped abruptly as I realized she had just called me princess. What!? How did she…

"The sword you carry has the royal crest on it," Koko explained before I even had the chance to hide my identity. "Besides, you're clearly not from around here. And, you helped me without really even knowing anything about me. That's something a kind and caring—yet naïve, if you don't mind me saying—princess would do."

I frowned a bit about the "naïve" comment—although, admittedly, she did have a point—and sighed. So what if Koko knew my identity? As long as she didn't blab it to everyone, everything was fine. And besides, I would have to reveal my identity to Master Link anyways.

"Here we are," Koko said, gently tugging on Byrne's reigns to bring him to a halt. "This is the home of our resident master swordsman and the chief of Ordona." She reached out a hand to help me down. I considered getting down on my own—I didn't want to hurt such a fragile, frail young girl—but then I remembered her earlier display of physical prowess and took her hand. Sure enough, she lifted me down as if I was light as a feather. For a moment, we were both so close, my blue eyes staring into her even bluer, our breaths in perfect sync. Once again, a red tinge spread across her cheeks.

"Master! We have a visitor!" Koko suddenly called out, pulling herself away from me and nervously fiddling with her still-sweating palms. I don't know why, maybe even I was enraptured by her beauty, but I couldn't look away from Koko. I almost didn't see the large, battle-hardened warrior appear before me.

"Princess Zelda? Why are you in Ordona? Don't tell me…"

I quickly turned to face the warrior. He was not as handsome as the rumors said—disappointingly—but still a very strong, broad man. He was around forty-five years old or so, his left eye area covered in a particularly nasty scar. I bowed instantly as a sign of respect for such a great hero. I assumed the chestnut horse the back, gracefully gnawing on the grass was Epona.

Speaking of horses…

"My lady!" Master Link threw his body in front of me, a noble knight sworn to protect his princess, as another chestnut horse, this one seemingly much younger than his own, came barreling down the field. Before the horse could stampede right into him, Koko jumped onto the horse's back, pulling at the reigns. For a moment, it was some sort of chaotic rodeo, but Koko seemed to get firm control of the animal again. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"My apologies," Master Link said, bowing slightly to me. That was right. I remember father saying something that Master Link was all-knowing. He must have known it was me with his infamous wisdom. Surely he would help. Surely…

"Master Link," I said, deepening my bow. "Hyrule is in a dark hour. We humbly request your services to protect the country we both love."

To my surprise, Master Link's eyes widened in shock. "Master…Link?" He asked. After a moment, he only began to laugh, his laugh so jovial its tone, as rich as a deep bass, almost shook Ordona to its very core.

…okay, now I was even more confused.

"Are you not Master Link?" I asked, my tone gaining a tinge of panic as I worriedly stood. "Are you not the man who has protected this region? Are you not the greatest warrior Hyrule has ever seen? Are you not the kind and compassionate man, so strong he could throw even a bear away with relative ease?"

Still chuckling, the elder man winked. "It is true," he said. As my face fell into obvious disappointment, he laid a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I am not Link. However…" he nodded to his left. "He is."

I glanced to my left, where Koko was still struggling with the horse. I wanted to help her until I looked closely…Koko was smiling, laughing, even. I quickly realized that Koko and the horse were merely playing with each other. With a sigh, I wiped the beads of perspiration that had danced on my forehead. At least she was safe. Now to look for the hero…

…wait a minute…

My mouth dropped open. If it was anatomically possible, it would have hit the ground.

"Link, the Princess is in need of your services," the elderly chief said with another booming laugh.

"Huh? She wants me?" Koko—no, she couldn't be Link, could she…?—asked, patting her horse—was that wild beast really Epona…?—and jumping off the saddle. "Well, why didn't you say so from the beginning?"

I stared at the scrawny little kid in front of me. Sure, her—I still refused to acknowledge that this adorable human being was a boy—physical prowess was pretty high, and she killed that monster with no problem, but…but…

"This…this girl is the great and all-powerful master swordsman Link!?" I screamed.

"Girl?" Koko-Link asked, momentarily confused before a look of annoyance spread over his/her pretty little face.

"That's it. I'm cutting my hair."

I'm sure many of you have guessed, but this is largely based on the controversy that the new Link in Zelda U (with a ponytail!) isn't really Link at all. I thought it would be a fun little one-shot, because boy if that is Link he sure is flirting with a very feminine appearance. xD

Please leave a review! I hope you enjoyed it! :D