Disclaimer: Bones ain't mine nor is the song See the Sun by Dido.
Summary: Tears pour forth and you can't stop them, same as blood. Same as love.
A/N 1: I wrote the original version of this about two months ago by hand at about four in the morning and finally decided to type it up and so here ya go. Inspired by the song used in this fiction.
A/N 2: This is nothing to do with any of my other fanfictions. It is a stand-alone one-shot.
WARNING: Character death.
Now I've spoiled the whole thing please do read!
The curtains were shut and had been for some time now. The light was off because that meant he was still there. It made his eyes ache and it made it that much easier to deal when he couldn't see the world through haunted eyes.
Empty and hollow. A sudden nothing that even though it was nothing was still something.
Something other than it was meant to be.
He stared at the floor and he didn't know how long he'd done that for. Minutes? Hours? Most likely days. But obviously not enough he was still here. Still somewhere she wasn't.
The darkness at the corners of his eyes was oh so welcoming to succumb to exhaustion but he couldn't because every time he closed his eyes he remembered.
I'm comin' 'round to open the blinds,
You can't hide here any longer,
My God you need to rinse those puffy eyes,
You can't last here any longer,
The sun had been shining brightly that day, the moment he'd left the bereaved family's home he'd replaced his brightly coloured sunglasses. She'd suggested that they went for a coffee and, in the midday heat he'd agreed, more for the thought of a drink than of a hot beverage.
He'd loosened his tie and his jacket was slung over one shoulder and hooked onto his finger, she'd walked next to him. Indifferent to the heat and looking as perfect as usual, the passion that blazed in her eyes was as fiery as the sun that ignited her hair into iridescent colours.
They'd chosen a gorgeous little café in the main street. Well lit, with huge windows, tiled flooring a fake palm trees in every corner, air conditioning and open double doors that allowed the sunlight straight in.
He'd ordered coffee for reasons unbeknownst to him and she a bottle of water.
They'd been working on a case involving the murder of a seventeen year old boy. His parents had told them that he'd grown more distant as of late and had told them just the passed Tuesday that he would have to stay low because someone was after him. They hadn't known who.
Their drinks had arrived along with the sandwiches they'd both ordered. Deciding that they might as well have lunch whilst they were out.
And yes they'll ask you where you've been,
And you'll have to tell them again and again,
Everything had happened so fast yet at the same time it felt like everything was in slow motion. The sound of shattering glass brought the entire shop to a stand still; no one even had time to scream.
The bullet had embedded itself between two of her ribs and pierced her stomach. She'd fallen to the floor before he'd even had a chance to look up and when he had the sight that met his eyes was not one he had ever thought he would have to face. Not in reality. In nightmares it came as regularly as memories of time served with the army.
In the half a second it had taken him to get round the table and to her side she was already trying to get to her feet.
He froze. Crystalline tiles were soaked crimson, beginning to spread like the juice Parker had spilt on an important case file on one of his visits to the lab. Her sky blue shirt was stained an ugly red as she turned onto her side and coughed, spitting yet more of the precious life liquid onto the floor.
The sound of someone stepping forward maybe two steps jerked him out of his stupor.
'Someone call 911!' he'd cried out, putting a hand on the small of her back but she'd wriggled from his touch pushing herself shakily to her feet.
And you probably don't want to hear,
Tomorrow's another day,
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again,
And you're asking me why,
Pain's the only way to happiness,
And I promise you you'll see the sun again,
'I'm fine' she'd insisted as he too stood up, she swayed and he went to catch her elbow. One hand was clutched to her wound, squeezing it tightly in a tightened fist, twisting the shirt that covered it as she bit back the pain that was flooding her body like her blood was the floor.
'Bones' he tried when she yet again shied away and staggered out of the shop, stumbling and bumping into tables and chairs, apologising to inanimate objects as she accidentally knocked them out of position.
He glanced back at the teenager at the counter who was simply watching them like the rest of the people in the tiny café 'has someone called 911?' he demanded impatiently.
His tone made the teenager jump and he grabbed the phone next to him and punched in the three digit number for the emergency services.
When he'd looked up she was out of the shop, he movements more erratic, more strained and the hold she had on her ribcage had slackened some what, no doubt without intention.
He ran out of the shop and caught up with her 'Bones, stop… we need to…' what did they need to do? He tore his tie of completely and pressed it onto the rapidly spreading patch of blood on her torso. Hoping that the single strip of fabric might do something to help.
She look down at his hand pressed against her stomach as she still tried to move, frowning a moment she took it from him then threw it to the ground 'who was it?' she asked. Treating him with unfocussed eyes 'who fired?'
Come on take my hand,
We're going for a walk,
I know you can,
You can wear anything as long as it's not black,
Please don't mourn forever,
She's not coming back,
'I don't know' he replied, but when he did? He'd had to be physically restrained by three other agents when Alexis Sanchez had been arrested and even then they had struggled to keep him away from the man that was responsible for the way he felt now. 'you need to-'
'We need to find them. I'm fine' she nodded as if agreeing with herself 'I'm fine'
A lump had risen to his throat there and then and still hadn't left. That was the moment when he'd started suffocating. That was the moment when he'd started to wonder whether this life was really worth it.
And yes they'll ask you where you've been,
And you'll have to tell them again and again,
She stopped walking he didn't know when and for a few minutes. A few precious, wasted minutes they stood staring at one another. The only thing that broke that was her eyes rolling and her collapsing.
He'd caught her in his arms, the blood that had been pumping forth with ferocious intensity was now steady and she was cold. Her skin icy to touch.
'Bones!' he cried, falling to his knees, her in his arms, half in his lap and cradled to his chest 'come on now. Don't give up on me. Please Bones. Please'
'Dad?' she'd asked feebly; she was confused, disorientated.
'No' he choked, brushing auburn bangs from her forehead 'no, it's me, Booth. Remember?'
'Booth?' she asked, she still sounded uncertain as if she couldn't remember him 'what happened? Where am I?'
Where was that damn ambulance?
'You're gonna be fine baby. I promise you, you're gonna be okay' he found himself rocking back and forth in a soothing motion, pulling her even closer to him. How could she be so cold on such a hot day?
'Not… not gonna be fine' she mumbled, her voice sounded strained, as if talking hurt. And it probably did but he didn't want to think about that.
'Shh' he sobbed into her hair, kissing it, wishing more than anything that by holding her that was keeping her with him. That as long as he touched her. Held on tight enough she wasn't going to leave.
And you probably don't want to hear,
Tomorrow's another day,
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again,
And you're asking me why,
Pain's the only way to happiness,
And I promise you you'll see the sun again,
'You are' he breathed 'you are. I swear to you Bones. You're gonna be fine'
A crowd had formed round them and he didn't care, at some point he noticed someone had laid a jacket over Temperance's shaking form.
He looked up at the man who had performed the task and the man had nodded at him, stepping backwards. No one came closer than about four feet from them. No one dared.
'An ambulance is on it's way' the teenager from behind the counter stood on the inside of the circle of people, he was wringing his hands and had gone the same grey as the standard issue shirt he was wearing 'can… can I do anything?' he asked.
Booth ignored him. He shook Temperance slightly 'hey, hey don't go to sleep. The ambulance is on its way. You're gonna be fine. I told you. You just gotta stay awake, can you do that?'
'I'm so tired' she whispered tearfully 'I'm so tired'
'I know Bones, I know. Just hold on just a little bit longer. For me? Do it for me'
'I can't. Don't make me' she replied.
Her voice broke his heart, the lump in his throat was growing and his hands were soaked with the blood of the one person he dreaded to see bleed. The one person aside from his son he'd been willing to die for.
'Yes you can' he insisted 'you canBones'
She shook her head weakly 'I can't. I can't'
Do you remember telling me,
You found the sweetest thing of all,
You said one day this was worth dying for,
So be thankful you knew her at all,
But it's no more,
He pressed his face into her hair that was damp with his tears and planted another kiss there; he could feel her so cold against his lips, like ice. Ten minutes ago he'd wanted ice. Now he wanted fire. Burning fire, desire, passion, life. He wanted her to be warm, to be hot.
'I'm scared' she breathed, she was weak now, so, so weak, he didn't even want to look at the amount of blood lost.
'Don't be' he replied 'I'm here. I've got you, you'll be fine. I swear to you Bones. I won't let you go'
Her skin was clammy and to anyone else she would have felt uncomfortable to touch, to him? To him nothing else in the world mattered. She would be okay. His mantra, his prayer. She would be okay.
Sirens broke through the bubble that he had managed to pretend them both to be into. With a terrifying horror he'd realised he'd slipped into a daydream of sorts, thinking, wishing, dreaming and that she was now still.
'Excuse me sir' the first paramedic knelt next to the duo on the sidewalk.
Booth looked up, teary eyed and stricken as the paramedic eased Temperance's limp frame from his arms and lay her flat on the pavement beside him.
He pressed two fingers to her neck and looked to his partner who stood in the crowd, holding a medical bag 'pulse is gone, starting compressions' he tilted her head back and folded his hands over pressing them against Temperance's still chest 'one… two… three…four…five' the second paramedic squeezed the pump forcing air into Temperance's mouth and into her lungs.
Her pulse was checked again before the compressions were continued.
Still nothing.
'Last time' The second paramedic said and the first paramedic agreed with him.
Booth stared at them, watching as violent pressure was applied to Temperance's chest and oxygen was pumped into her body.
She was… she couldn't be….
'I'm sorry sir. There's nothing we can do. She's gone'
And you probably don't want to hear,
Tomorrow's another day,
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again,
And you're asking me why,
Pain's the only way to happiness,
And I promise you you'll see the sun again,
That memory haunted every moment. Angela hadn't watched her die. Zack hadn't heard her crying; Hodgins hadn't promised her that she would live.
Not one of them loved her the way he did.
Not one of them knew what he was going though no matter how many times they said they understood. They never would because they never could.
He had promised her. He had held her and told her with all sincerity that she would be okay. He'd let her go.
And he'd never gotten the chance to tell her that he loved her. Angela said she knew but there was a difference between knowing something and hearing it.
Leaning forward he plucked a photograph from the coffee table in front of him; it was of her, of him. Together, smiling, happy. Taken when Angela had persuaded the entire squint squad plus him to take a weekend vacation and they had all accepted. A sunset burned the horizon in the background.
She hadn't believed in religion. She based her believes of fact, on proof, on science. But that didn't stop him from hoping, wishing and on some level knowing that she was somewhere better. Where guns weren't fired and people weren't killed. Where no one died, lost or felt pain. No matter what she had believed he knew that she was in heaven.
He turned the photograph over and written in her delicate handwriting was:
Booth,
The sunset was gorgeous that night. You ever seen anything so beautiful? We should go again sometime, maybe for longer though.
Tempe
Yeah. He mentally replied. It was you. You the day I first laid eyes on you. The day my world stopped spinning and the day I realised that I hadn't lived until that moment was the day I realised something I never told you. Something you'll never know.
And you probably don't want to hear,
Tomorrow's another day,
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again,
And you're asking me why,
Pain's the only way to happiness,
And I promise you you'll see the sun again,
A box of matches was on the arm of the chair he was sat in and setting the photograph in his lap he took on and ignited it, holding the picture above the empty fruit bowl on the coffee table.
He held the match to the corner of the photograph and dropped it into the bowl.
His fingers were steepled and he leant his chin against them, his elbows on his knees as the flames slowly devoured the photograph in the bowl.
He watched with eyes as dead as the woman he mourned as the photograph disintegrated to ash.
The embers died and once more the room was dark. He continued to stare. Continued to feel guilty. Continued to grieve.
He'd made a promise and had broken it, and as the tears slipped forth once more and flooded his collar already stiff from days of tears previously shed he slipped into a sleep plagued with thoughts and dreams. Most of a woman.
A woman with soft auburn hair and a heart of gold.
A woman whom he'd failed.
A woman to whom he'd never said I love you.
Weird I know but I had to write it!
Review don't flame!