Hello all!

So this is my very first fanfic going up, I hope some of you may genuinely enjoy it. It'll be an emotional one. There will be a lot of abuse in it, that'll eventually mount.

If any of type of abuse triggers you, I apologize, but you may wish to take your leave now.

Anywho, thank you kindly to anyone who decides to read!

Fate always loses hold
Like electric sparks in my heart
Fate always loses hold
Now be a good girl and do what you're told

"I do."

"—I do."

You fixed me with a preternatural steady stare and the shaky, klutz in me prevailed but your arms arm weaved over my waist, holding me like a doll and I felt that familiar crosscurrent between us and knew that I was in thrall to you.

I leans in and give you a slow, sure kiss having a desire to prolong, as well as deepen it. "I love you." You mouthed then, with a smile so beautiful and sinfully perfect teeth.

"I love you, Edward." I stared at you for a heartbeat, your green eyes positively smoldering, and then you caught me by my hand and led me to our new life.

I admit I didn't envision as a young girl to be eloped at 18, I had other dreams. A big wedding, I was going to astound my friends in a gown so glamorous, my parents teary-eyed - that sort of thing.

But you pitched the idea and I didn't want to ruin a perfectly good thing, you looked absolutely breathtaking, your skin mottled with heat, our combined sweat and mingled smell. I was always the most docile with you after being freshly fucked and It is hardly straining the truth to say that I could never say no to your burning, powerful eyes.

After we retired to bed, I stared at my ring for an estimated hour. You remembered that my favorite stone was sapphire, it made me cry to think you spent a fortune on my ring when we barely had enough money from your bartender job and my unemployed status. And as I lay in that dark hour, balanced on the fulcrum of anxiety and anguish — I couldn't do away with my sudden urge to wake you.

I began to premeditate a way to convince you to return it but before I could move, you nestled right against my bosom and I laid, rooted to the spot and put our penurious financial problems aside and fell asleep.

I told Charlie about our engagement the following day, he offered lukewarm support and I was more upset about his refusal to show me his true opinion, to speak out, criticize, but Charlie rarely did so. Still I wished he was more like mom had been. Inquisitive, and always inspiring me to think at the most fundamental level. I said my goodbye's to him in one bitter sound bite, and when he clicked — I felt empty.

I looked for you and found you out on our porch. You stood squarely, elegantly bricked like some god to my mortal.

After some 4 minutes of drinking you in, you noticed me and I looked at you expectantly for sympathy. You walked over to me, pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"It's just you and I, we don't need anyone's approval." Your tone imparted a sense of calm in my mind and best of all, you were right.

"We need candidly to chat about how we're going to proceed with the wedding, Edward."

"Yes, I've already managed to get a hold of an old acquaintance willing to stand as witness when we elope." You said, rather unconcernedly. I steadfastly refused to support this as you bypassed me, reclining into a slight worn, grey armchair.

I felt my blood curdle. How could you?

"Edward." You casted a glance at me with a sort of exasperated fixity of expression.

"You made this choice, irrespective of my own feelings. How is this fair?" Indeed I would feel betrayed, the whole idea behind our union was to discuss things together. To be in accordance and you went behind my back and played the sole navigator.

"You want to go through the drudgery of planning a big wedding for the likes of them?"

"Then why do I feel a sense of wrongness?"

"You don't have the strength, that's all." You reasoned, with a brick face. I could flail or flow gracefully while you stepped on my toes, but to give you your due, I was always too damn emotional trying hard to keep people close especially those that pulled furthest from me, it was a matter of self-deception. A hollow grasp at desired ends and woe is me that couldn't help it, all I had was you to give it to me straight.

I can truly say, I was often at your defeat.

"I don't say this enough, but you're my only source of potency now."

"I'm only thinking of what's best for you, Bella."