Frozen Waves
by Scarlet Eve
November
A.C. 195
Noin couldn't sleep. In fact, ever since she saved Relena after the recently revealed Princess tried to gun down Colonel Une, Noin had been having a bad case of insomnia. Her hours during the night were spent worrying, worrying about Relena, about Zechs, about everything. And now, with the building of a mobile suit army going on under the Sanq Kingdom, Noin had even more to worry about.
She'd taken to wandering Relena's manor during the night, to try and clear her mind. On this particular night, she'd gotten out of bed around 2 in the morning, and wandered. The halls were chilly at night, and Noin's men's boxer shorts and oversized tank top were not enough to keep her from having goosebumps crawl up her arms and legs. She gave her arms a brisk rub and turned down another hall.
Up ahead, yellow light fell onto the floor and opposite wall in elongated diagonals, coming from the french doors that lead into one of the many parlors. Noin crept up carefully, and peeked her head around to look through the windows.
Relena sat on one of the couches, dressed in her light pink silk pajama top and pants. She was cross legged and had her elbow propped on her knee, where the heel of her hand was pressing into her brow. Her long hair was pulled into a messy bun at the back of her head. Beyond the couch, a fire was dying in the fireplace. All around Relena, books were lying either stacked or open, and there was a pad of paper and a pen beside her.
Noin opened the door slowly and walked across the carpeted floor. "You can't sleep either?" she asked. Relena's head jerked up, but she relaxed instantly when she saw Noin.
"No," Relena replied. Noin sat down on the couch opposite Relena and pulled her knees up underneath her.
"What are you working on?" Noin asked, gesturing to the mess surrounding Relena. She sighed.
"I was working on a lesson for Monday, but I got lost in the reading. And now I'm questioning everything I believe in." Relena glanced up and locked eyes with Noin. "You think my beliefs are ridiculous, don't you?"
Noin hesitated, and that seemed to be all the response that Relena needed. She let out a moan and leaned back in the couch and ran her hands over her face.
"There's nothing wrong with that you believe," Noin said, trying to appease the stressed out Princess. "We need people like you to keep the focus on the future, and what we can achieve."
"But total pacifism is impossible, is it not? At least, that's what everyone says." Noin shrugged her shoulders.
"Everyone has an opinion," she said. "but that doesn't mean you need to give up yours."
"I suppose." The defeat in Relena's voice hurt Noin. This was the opposite of what Noin was supposed to be doing for Relena, the task set forth by her brother. His vague instructions had been to keep Relena on the path of total pacifism, no matter how crazy it might sound. Noin didn't like being out of the loop with Zechs, but she trusted his judgment. Most of the time, anyway.
"Giving up was never the Peacecraft way," Noin said, hoping the jab would snap Relena out of her mood. The young girl looked up at Noin, an eyebrow quirked.
"I never said I was giving up," Relena said defensively. Noin tightened her lips to keep from smiling. "Anyway, I've come this far-" Noin nodded her head in agreement. "I just need to sleep on it." Noin watched her, but Relena made no move to get up and abandon her work. Instead, she absently began to thumb through the book nearest her.
"What are you researching, exactly?" Noin asked, leaning forward to try and read some of the titles on the books.
"The history of war, personal accounts of wars, that sort of thing," Relena said. Noin frowned. Those topics were the last thing she thought Relena would have an interest in.
"Why?"
"To help me better understand peace." Relena paused and looked up at Noin, who was staring back at her skeptically. "It was Heero's idea."
Huh… Noin thought to herself. Heero's idea? She was a little impressed. Noin watched the younger girl, and saw the pink flush creep across her cheeks and run to the tips of her ears, which were usually covered by her long hair.
"Heero is a great asset to have here, isn't he?" Noin asked, shifting her body around to sit cross legged. Relena's subtle body movements, the brief pause in her page flipping, the quick purse of the lips, did not go unnoticed under the scrutiny of Noin.
"Yes," Relena responded quietly. "It won't last, I know, but I appreciate him while he's here." The disappointment and sadness in Relena's voice were quite evident to Noin, and the older woman's heart went out to Relena.
"You care for him," Noin said. She watched Relena take a deep breath, her eyes still staring down at the pile of books on the floor.
"It feels… complicated."
"What do you mean?" Relena didn't answer for several moments, her eyes staring absently towards the fireplace. Finally, she looked up and met Noin's eyes.
"My heart desperately wants him around, but my mind knows he must go where he's needed, to continue the fight for peace. But I hardly know anything about him," Relena said. "But that doesn't make me care less."
"I don't think anyone knows much about him," Noin added, then gave Relena a sly look. "It's what makes him so intriguing." There was a shy smile on her face, cheeks still pink, and turning into a deeper red.
"I suppose." Relena's mouth clamped shut, like she was desperately trying to keep herself from saying anything more. Noin stared her down. As a girl, Noin had always wanted a sister, to have these kinds of conversations with. Besides, Noin felt it was unfair for a fifteen year old girl to miss out on a real teenage experience.
Not that Noin really knew what that was like. She'd been training for war.
Much like Relena, in her own way.
"I admire you, Relena," Noin said. Relena's eyes fluttered, confused by the abrupt change of topic.
"Why?"
"You've taken everything that life has thrown at you in stride. Most people would crumble under the pressure."
"If I didn't, who would?" Relena asked. A frown appeared on her face, a fine line between her eyebrows deepening. A shadow passed over her face, touching the lines under her eyes, the downward turn of her lips, the heaviness of her eyelids. Noin rose from the couch and crossed over to sit beside Relena. She rested a hand on Relena's shoulder.
"You're right. Since your biological parents' deaths, and the assassination of Heero Yuy, no one has been brave enough to stand up for total pacifism. But here you are," Noin said, her smile glowing in the light from the fireplace. Relena gave her a sad smile.
"Thank you, Noin. Lately it has felt like I've fallen in frozen waves and can't swim to shore," Relena said. "Sometimes I just need that reassurance that I'm not in over my head."
You are in a little over your head, Noin thought. She watched Relena for a moment. Her frowns made her look much older than she was - and looked very much like Zechs' frowns. Noin picked out their similarities, such as the curve of their jaws and the shape of their noses, but their eyes couldn't be more different.
Relena was looking at her now.
"You love my brother very much, don't you? To stick around here?" Relena asked, her face the picture of innocence. Noin's mouth fell open, and she tried to speak. Relena smirked. "I might have overheard a conversation you had with him."
Noin frowned. "You shouldn't eavesdrop, young lady." This made Relena laugh, and finally, she set aside her books. Noin shook her head but a smile replace her frown. "You're right, though. I do. Enough to let him graduate first in our class." Relena quirked an eyebrow.
"You let him? Why?" Noin shrugged.
"Men have big egos," she replied. "Sometimes women have to let the men win, to keep them from getting too grumpy." The girls giggled together.
"Is this how we deal with all men?" Relena asked.
"Should be on a case by case basis," Noin replied. She shifted her legs around and leaned into the cushions on the couch. "Take Heero, for example. He and your brother are quite similar, but must be dealt with differently."
Relena eyed Noin, her lips pursed in thought. "I suppose. They both quite stubborn."
"But your brother wasn't raised from childhood to be a soldier." Relena chewed her lip.
"How do you know that Heero was?" she asked, the words coming slow. Noin may have flushed a bit, but she ignored the possibility.
"He mentioned it, sort of in passing," Noin replied. She saw Relena's eye darken, her gaze shift away. But it wasn't anger in her face, it was resolve. Inspiration. Watching her, the memory resurfaced in Noin's mind of Relena in her white dress, a pistol in her gloved hands - the white a stark contrast to her recent loss of innocence. "What are you thinking?"
Relena met her eyes once more. "That I must work harder to succeed to-" She paused. A shadow had appeared on the floor. Heero stood in the doorway, his dark hair messy from sleep. "-to save him," she finished in a low whisper. Noin hid her smile behind her hand and rose from the couch.
"Try to get some sleep tonight," Noin said, and walked towards the door. Heero was staring her down, his face expressionless. She nodded once to him, and he stepped aside to allow her to pass.
As Noin walked down the hall, she glanced back over her shoulder. Heero had stepped inside the library and was closing the door.
"Relena."
A/N: I might write more. Idk. Ideas of where to go? Lol
-SE