He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
it just ain't right, it just ain't right
Oh and i don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight, hold on tight
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long .So long
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He's beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster...
Jude's voice trails off as she finishes her song, the last words dripping from lips melodically before she nods in approval, deciding she's happy with the finished work. The soft sound of applause fills the air and she quickly looks up, her eyes falling on Tommy who is leaning against the wall, watching her with wonder in his eyes. A familiar tension fills the room.
"Great song Jude," Tommy comments his voice barely above a whisper. "Was it about me?"
Jude scoffs, sliding her guitar off over her head. "Could your ego be bigger?"
"So who's it about?"
"You," Jude admits reluctantly. "But you shouldn't automatically assume it." Tommys only answer is a slight shrug of his shoulders, earning an eye roll from jude. "Look I don't have time for this Quincey, i have to go."
"hot date?" Tommy inquires curiously.
"If you must know, Jamie's taking me out"
Tommy laughs, mostly to himself. "Forget the hot part. When are you gonna get over him?"
"What is your problem?" Jude demands. "Ever since you got back from Europe you've been different."
"Different how?"
"You've been an ass. Did something happen?"
'Did something happen? How am i supposed to answer that?' Tommy thinks to himself, not quite able to form a coherent enough thought to actually tell her whats going on. Finally he settles on the cowards way out.
"You should go Jude," he says softly. "Jamies waiting."
"Tommy, you know you can tell me anything right?" Jude asks.
"Theres nothing to tell," Tommy assures her.
Jude doesnt look so convinced, but decides to believe if something was serious enough, Tommy would confide in her. With a nod and a quiet goodbye Jude walks out. Only seconds after she disappears behind the corner Tommy takes his head and bangs it against the wall behind him.
'I can't tell her'
Jude manages to have a relatively good night. Out on the town, being entertained by her boyfriend, what more could a girl ask for? But as soon as she walks through her front door her thoughts immediately drift back to Tommy. With a heavy sigh she plops down on the couch.
"You're late," Sadie informs her sister from her seat at the other end of the couch. Jude just shrugs. "Whats with you?" Sadie inquires.
"Sades did anything happen in Europe?"
"No, unfortunately" comes the blondes muttered reply.
"I mean something that would upset Tommy," Jude clarifies, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the insinuation she has any interest in her sisters sex life.
"well, he did get this phone call..." Sadie responds, a thoughtful look on her face. "He was a little off after that. Why?"
"I'm worried about him."
"Tommy can take care of himself Jude, worrying won't help anyone."
"Whatever," Jude replies with a shrug. "Maybe you're right. In any case I'm going to bed. 'night sadie."
The next day at the studio, Tommy and Kwest are waiting for Jude to show up. Kwest glances over at his friend, taking note of his far off expression. He decides to bring the one topic he knows Tommy doesn't want to talk about, but should.
"So, did you tell her?" Kwest asks
"Nope"
"Are you planning to?"
"Nope"
"You know, she'll probably understand," Kwest says.
Tommy shakes his head and turns to face him. "How could she possibly understand?"
"Because, she gets you," Kwest says, sending his friend a 'You Know I'm Right' look.
"She'll pity me," Tommy says in a low voice. "I don't want her pity." He shoots a meaningful look at Kwest. "Or yours."
"Well I'm sorry but your pretty damn pitiable right now." Kwest states.
"I'm fine"
"Man i haven't even seen you get upset."
"What do you want me to do?" Tommy asks. "Cry? Throw things?"
"If it helps."
"IT WON'T!"
The studio falls silent as Tommy's outburst rings through the halls. Kwest puts a brotherly hand on Tommy's shoulder in a futile attempt to comfort him. Tommys only response is to drop his head into his shaking hands, steadying himself as Jude walks through the door.
"Everything ok?" Jude asks, looking from Kwest to Tommy.
"Yeah," Tommy answers weakly. "Let's just get to work, you have a song to record."
Jude nods and goes behind the glass. She slips the headphones over her ears and waits for the signal from Tommy to begin singing.
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme i know
He's as damned as her seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in...
Tommy shakes his head and throws off his headphones. "I can't do this," he states, tears on his voice as he gets up and walks out of the studio. Kwest looks after him and shakes his head before turning and meeting Jude's furrow-browed gaze.
"Is he ok?" Jude asks, concern evident in her voice.
"Maybe you should go talk to him," Kwest suggests into the intercom.
"He doesn't want to talk to me."
"Jude," Kwest says softly, seriousness and worry playing a powerful role in his expression. "He needs you."
Something about Kwest's tone, or the connection to Tommy's behavior the last few weeks causes Jude to nod in agreement and throw off her headphones, running out to confront or console Tommy, whichever the situation would call for.