WE'RE BACK! AGAIN!!! NO WE WILL NOT STOP WRITING!! EVER!! Because we're awesome.

If you haven't deducted, by the title and the genre of PARODY, this is a parody. If you needed to be told this, then maybe YOU are one of the moronic authors that we shall be poking fun at today. Today, as we sit enclosed by strings.

DISCLAIMER: We don't own Halo, and never did. And we never claimed to, and even if we did own Halo it would be very bad. : Also, we don't own the Hypnotoad. Please, Matt Groening, don't sue us. We truly love Futurama, and we hope that you will make more, and that we may get the chance to meet you at Comic Con one year. Which probably won't happen, because you are never going to read this, and so it is completely pointless to put this here, because nothing will ever come of it. But, that's what this fic is about. Completely pointless and random crap that will never be of any importance ever.

WARNING: This fiction is not for those who can't deal with a little criticism (even though we pakaged it in a fun little comedy). This fiction is also resistant to flames. The authors coated it with Teflon.

CAUTION: Do not attempt to eat this fanfiction. If accidentally swallowed, you are a complete idiot, because to swallow the fiction, you'd have to eat your computer. And if ANY of you had the idea to do so... then... MUH. Seriously, we wouldn't know what to say.

01: Bad OCs, Hole-Riddled Plots, EBOLA ZAIRE, and More!

One day, in the Super Awesome Station that TOTALLY Replaced Cairo (Because it was better), some random teenage chick named Sakura was walking down some hall with lights and controls... Not that she knew what those controls actually did, but they were there for some reason. She was perfect. From her slim, black, leather-clad legs to her curvey-scurvey hourglass form to her unnaturally large chest, which no 15 year old girl should rightfully have, she was completely perfect. Her super long purpley-pink hair trailed gracefully behind her as she sashayed down the hall... Oh yeah, and for some reason, no one questioned her lack of identification and uniform, or her reason for being in the first place. No, they just either stared or fell over with their eyes emitting streams of Ebola Zaire(because she was so beautiful). Also, a lot of people were infected with Ebola Zaire, just to let you know. They were later discovered in their respective stations, gushing blood from every orifice. This virus has been amplified. By Sakura's incandescent beauty. Because she's so awesome and mysterious and perfect.

So anyway, she randomly encountered the Master Chief, who had unfortunately turned the corner at the same time she was walking down the hall. He had barely a moment to realize the misfortune in front of him before Sakura screamed in his face, "HAY CHIEF!! LET'S HANG OUT!!" A look of anger and consternation crossed his face.

"First of all, who the hell are you? Second, what the hell are you wearing? And... wait... where's your identification?"

"Oh," she replied wistfully, "none of that matters, because I truly love you... Even though I really don't know who you are or anything... I still love you!" He gave an exasperated sigh. Actually, it sounded more like a cow giving birth to a truck.

"Alright, listen. You just met me half a minute ago, and you have said about two sentences to me, and furthermore... hey! Stop staring at my crotchplate, you underage freak!" She looked down her feet, as she had been caught red-handed.

As Sakura continued to flirt with Chief (to no avail, of course), Cortana sprang up from Chief's helmet, which he held in his hand.

"CHIEF! I thought that we were going to get married, and here you are flirting with this random BETCH! I know our love makes SO much sense, and is completely NOT outside the realm of physical reality, so I'll forgive you. As long as we get married."

Suddenly, a random marine who was passing by turned into a toothbrush. Sakura gasped at this horror, while Chief fell to his knees and screamed, "WHYYYYYYYY?" at the top of his lungs. Because that marine, that nameless faceless marine was somehow VITAL to the story.

Oh yeah, and the Ebola Zaire strain was passing through the station at an incredible rate. It's a funny story, how this virus came to infest the entire awesome crew of the entire awesome station that totally replaced Cairo (Because it was better). Okay, so apparently, some Flamangos were wandering through the hall that Sakura, Chief, and Cortana were arguing in. The Flamangos, not wanting to enter the delicate situation, swerved into the station of one of the marines that was spewing Ebola Zaire from his eyes.The Flamngos began to eat the blood of the marine, which was highly saturated with EBOLA ZAIRE. (NOTE: At 9712309472041x Magnification, the little virus particles were laughing about how they were going to kill this whole horrible fanfiction, which, by itself, was a sin against all things, living and non-living, and half alive things like viruses.) ANYWAYS, the group of Flamangos then were shot by random marines, who then took the bodies of the Flamangoes, which, let me remind you, are highly saturated with EBOLA ZAIRE, to a festival, at which the raw flamangoes were consumed by almost every marine on the Super Awesome Station that TOTALLY Replaced Cairo (Because it was better). So, yeah. Deadly Virus bad. 8 years of compuslory education, and that's all I can come up with. I can also come up with plots that are riddled with holes and make no sense.

Moving away from the virusy plotine, out of nowhere and into the middle of that same hallway, which apparently was the site of many important events (oh, and if that hallway had a face, it would look like this: ), came...THE HYPNOTOAD!!

CHAPTER COMMENTARY:: IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHAPTER :: DO NOT QUESTION.

Hokai, so this was created at approximately 2:10 AM (EST). Uhh... If you don't know what EBOLA ZAIRE is, go look it up. Don't be lazy. It's actually a pretty cool virus. Don't give me that look. It's either look up a virus on Google, or keep reading this... this... ABHORRATION of a fanfiction. Hm... We hate Naruto. He's not a ninja if he wears ORANGE JUMPSUITS. NO KID, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, BECAUSE YOU ARE A COMPLETELY USELESS FREAK. Let's see... Zombies are cool... Especially little glow in the dark ones. One of the two authors has a bunch of little glowing zombies on her desk. They're pretty cool. Oh yeah, commentary on the CHAPTER. We are neutral. We neither like nor dislike this chapter. We are not angry at it, but relations are tense. There might be some sort of Cold War... An iron curtain shall descend between the lands of Us and those bad fanfiction commies. We're lookin at you, Churchill!!! CLEMENSHOGOKI 3 BISMARCK 4 EVAR!!!!

Suddenly, the evil EBOLA ZAIRE virus dissapated. Apparently, it was afraid of Pi. Thank god one of the marines had decided to play the Pi song over the loudspeakers. Sakura even tried to sing it. Her voice was beautiful, but unfortunately, she really didn't understand the concept of Pi, nor did she know the song at all, so she ended up just spouting random numbers to no tune at all. In retrospect, it must have been pretty bad to be the Chief right then.

Oh yeah, and it will continue to be bad for him, because some person planned a beach party for no reason whatsoever, besides a cheap ploy of seeing Sakura in some bikini or something. That person should have been shot, but luckily, the EBOLA ZAIRE took him out before he had a chance to see his perverted dream come to fruition.

THE END! Well, of this chapter.

HOW WILL THE BEACH PARTY END UP? WILL A FALLING BLOB CRUSH OUR MAIN HEROINE? WILL SHE MAYBE TURN INTO A FASCIST SPLEEN BEAVER? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS AUTHOR SPOUTING? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THE AWESOMEST HALO FANFICTION OF ALL DESTINY!!

random explosion in background!!!11!-one-!

::Written at 210 hours on the date of May 28, 2007 (389th Age of Reclamation) ::

AN: This has to be the worst of our writing. And yet, there are fics out there with worse grammar, worse sentence structure, and more incoherent plotlines than ours. That's sad, people. That's sad. And, for those of you who are wondering about "Flamangoes" or the random spree of yelling at the end, go check out Tales of Interest. It was just updated recently, so it might still be on the first page. Go. GO NOW! STOP STARING AT ME AND GO READ IT!!!! storms off