A/N : Well, first, hello to the Chicago PD community, that's a first for me. The first story I've published in years, and the first ever on CPD! So, here I am, I've had this idea in mind for a while, and it's been sitting in my computer for a few weeks now. As you may notice further down, English isn't my first language and it's not as smooth as I'd like it to be.

So, on with the story, it's Linstead all the way, with a little bit of Jay!whump and Erin!angst.

The blood was flowing rapidly under her fingers as she screamed through her radio "Ten-one, ten-one, officer down!"

Her boss immediately responded "Erin where are you?", she could hear he was tense, waiting on the next order he was going to bark into his own radio.

"2622 West Cortland Street, Jay's been shot!"

"We're right behind you."

She vaguely heard one of her teammate call for an ambulance before Voight arrived, closely followed by Ruzek and Atwater. Everything happened so fast, one second he was behind her, the next he dropped, and she realized it had been one too many seconds before she applied pressure on the wound. She was extremely overwhelmed, she did not even register when Atwater pushed her to the side to take her place. She found herself looking at Jay, who has been unconscious for the last minute, bloody on most of his upper body.

Voight was still barking on radio, demanding backup to cover the perimeter where the suspect might still be hiding.

An ambulance pulled up front three minutes later, sirens blaring as it approached the area. Two paramedics smoothly took Kevin's place, communicating medical information about Jay's condition. The female EMT tightened a bandage on Jay's wound while the other assessed his state of consciousness and took his vitals. They loaded him into the truck in less than a minute. Erin had been a passive witness, but snapped back into reality when Hank pushed her tenderly toward the back of the truck.

"Go, he said, we'll be right behind you."

She nodded and jumped in the back, after the male paramedic.

Hank hit the back window twice and the ambulance left the scene tires screeching.

That is when time started to return to normal for Erin. She was sitting there, hearing the faint sirens over her head. All she could do was sit, and hold Jay's hand as the EMT was pumping liquids in her boyfriend's arm.

She took his hand between her two own.

"Please Jay don't do this to me, please, hold on. I'm so sorry."

This was all her fault and she knew it. If she had been a little more cautious, if she had looked on the street, she could have avoided this, she would have seen the guy pull out a gun on them, before he fired that one bullet right through Halstead's neck.

She knew his chances of surviving this were slim. She had seen enough wounded and dead people to know the extend of the damages. Jay was dying today.

This morning they were drinking coffee in her kitchen, he told her he loved her before they left for work, as usual, just in case one them was not coming home at night. And that was the day she dreaded. She was scared to death, she had no idea how she would live without him. What was the point?

She could still smell his shampoo when he emerged from the bathroom, hair damp and freshly dressed. She still felt herself blush when thinking about how lucky she was.

Lucky and happy had ended.

The ambulance came to a quick stop. The driver opened the back doors and she mechanically descended and watched them unload the gurney with a very pale looking Jay on it. She followed into the ED of Chicago Med, passing through the sliding doors after the paramedics.

"CPD's incoming! Doctor Rhodes : Baghdad!" Maggie instructed loudly.

Connor Rhodes was already slipping on a pair of latex gloves as he listened to the paramedics.

"Jay Halstead, CPD, GSW to the neck, lost a lot of blood on the scene. BP's 90 over 60, GCS at 7."

Connor nodded and followed, passing in front of a very shocked Natalie and rotated into Baghdad. He waited until the gurney was aligned with the bed before instructing : "On my count, very gently. One, two, three."

Jay was transferred on the bed and the paramedics rolled the gurney out. Maggie was staring at the scene, while Connor and two nurses started assessing their patient's state. That was when she noticed Erin standing in the middle of the hall, bloody hands and forearms, wandering like a lost child, staring at Jay, too.

"Erin! What happened?" she did not leave her much time to answer before adding "I'm calling Will."

Will appeared only a few moments later. Erin was staring into the room helplessly. He peeked into the room himself, slightly panicked, before taking in Erin's appearance. He eyed her from head to toe. The front of her shirt was covered in blood, blood had splattered on her face. Judging by the amount of blood she was wearing, Jay was severely wounded. He glanced back into the room. Lots of blood in there, too. The nurses were busy, focused, one of them was inserting a central venous line, the other was assisting Doctor Rhodes in treatment of the wound, that was profusely bleeding.

"Erin, what happened, how's Jay?"

She turned her head and shrugged slightly. Her hoarse voice was filled with worry. He wondered if she was starting to panic.

"I don't know, I thought we were alone, it was just routine check. I'm sorry Will, it's my fault."

Erin finally turned her head to look at Will, lacking the courage to meet his eyes though. He held her shoulders. He was at least one foot taller than her and she felt the trust he had in her. Even in those circumstances.

"I'm sure it's not. Doctor Rhodes is one of the best. Jay's gonna be fine."

He was trying to convince himself as much as trying to convince Erin.

There really was a lot of blood, and everything that was happening in the room was a blur to Will. It was his brother on the table, lying unconscious, and as much as a good doctor he was, there was absolutely nothing he could do. He did not even register what Connor was doing or the familiar words he was saying.

Gauze fell to the floor, damp with blood. The whole room was filled with the loud and frequently beeping noise, indicating tachycardia.

Jay's shirt had been cut open somewhere in the process and Ethan, visibly under pressure, was flashing a light into their patient's eyes.

"Pressure's dropping!" a nurse loudly announced.

Another added that they needed another unit of blood. Connor asked for dopamine, a nurse immediately did as ordered. Connor looked up to Erin and Will before reporting his attention to the origin of the hemorrhage.

A loud beeping sound caught the two in-laws' attention. He was crashing. Will knew it too well and Erin understood that the time had come. There was no way she was enduring this. She watched Jay, whose facial expression had not changed and started panicking for good. She tried to hide it from everyone around, especially Will, but his attention was on his brother anyway. Did he think that Jay was going to die, too?

The doctors were working hard, but Jay did not seem to be coming back.

That is when Erin made her decision. She was not going to watch him die. She could not handle it, another loved one dying because of her. First Nadia, now Jay.

"No. No. I can't. I'm not doing this."

She started backing up and when Will lifted his eyes to look at her, she was leaving through the glass doors.

A/N : To be continued, of course...