Rating: PG for very mild swearing

Post Charge of this Post

Spoilers for COTP and RSRD

Disclaimer: I own nothing, CBS does

Danny and Lindsay walked out of the hospital silently. Neither could believe what had happened that day, both in the explosion and in Flack getting hurt. They knew there was danger in their line of work, but it was still hard when it hit them personally. Danny couldn't help but feel grateful it was Flack lying in that hospital bed rather than Lindsay. He guessed it made him a bad friend to Flack, but he really cared for Lindsay.

They got into Danny's car and headed for Lindsay's apartment. On the way, Danny tried to talk to Lindsay, but she just stared out of the car window. Finally, Danny just gave up and drove silently.

Danny pulled up to Lindsay's apartment. As he was about to say good night, Lindsay asked, "Danny, do you want to come in?" She didn't want to be alone.

Danny about said no. He was afraid of what might happen, of what he might regret. But then he realized he'd noticed something in her tone that worried him. He was a CSI, he was trained to notice these things. It seemed that Lindsay was worried. So he said, "Sure, Montana."

As Lindsay unlocked her apartment, Danny noticed that she was shaking a bit, and his worry grew. It grew even more when she forgot to lock it back. Danny reprimanded her, "Montana, you can't just forget to lock your door."

"Oops, go ahead and lock it," Lindsay responded dejectedly. "Do you want anything? Beer, soda? You can take a seat on the couch."

"Sure, I'll take a beer." While Lindsay went to the kitchen, Danny sat on the couch. In a minute, Lindsay came back out with their drinks. She handed Danny a can, and joined him on the couch.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Danny broke the ice. "How are you holding up?"

Lindsay looked down and replied, "I'm fine."

"Montana, the fact that you can't look at me while you're saying it tells me something's wrong."

"I promise, I'm fine." Her voice trails off at the end.

He reaches over and lifts her head with his finger. "Lindsay, look at me. If you can tell me that while looking at me in the eye, I'll believe you."

"I'm." A single tear rolls down her cheek. Danny reaches over and wipes it away, but more fall, so he just pulls her into his arms.

Initially Lindsay grew rigid, but she relaxed and put her head on Danny's shoulder. In a few minutes, she looked up and said, "Ok, I can talk now."

Danny reached into his pocket, found a kleenex, and handed it to her. As he reached up to wipe her face, he said, "Ok, tell me what's really wrong."

"I can't help thinking that I could have been in there. I could in Flack's position or worse."

"But you weren't, and you're not."

"But I could have been. What if I hadn't left the dust lifter in the truck? What if I had brought it in?"

"You couldn't have expected there to be a bomb. You know that the unexpected happens at times."

Lindsay was barely listening. "And I feel guilty that I went back on got it. I could have sent Flack to get it and he wouldn't have been in there. I shouldn't have left the equipment in the truck. If I had been in there, maybe Mac would have sent Flack out to get everyone away and he wouldn't be hurt."

"Montana, you can't keep asking the what ifs. Shit happens, you know that. I know Flack well enough to know that he wouldn't blame you for what happened, and that he wouldn't want you to be in his position right now."

"I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep tonight. I keep seeing that building exploding in front of me. I keep seeing Flack unconscious." She started crying again.

Danny asked Lindsay, "How about I make you some warm milk? Maybe it will help you sleep."

Lindsay responded quietly, "Okay."

Danny went to the kitchen and microwaved a mug of milk. When he came back with it, he was scared to death. Lindsay was shaking wildly and sobbing. He knew that she wouldn't be able to hold, or drink the milk, so he set it on the table. She was having trouble breathing, and Danny was afraid she was having a panic attack. He then moved her to the floor. He pulled her back into his arms, and held her tightly to him.

Lindsay kept mumbling about how it could and should have been her. Danny kept trying to tell her that it wasn't her fault, that she shouldn't wish it was her. He told her that sometimes things happen for a reason. After about ten minutes of this, Danny was beginning to panic. He'd never seen Lindsay like this, in fact, Lindsay he'd only seen Lindsay somewhat emotional twice before. It seemed like nothing he was doing was helping; he wasn't even sure if Lindsay was hearing him. He decided to call Stella.

Stella was sitting with Mac in the hospital when her phone rang. She flipped it open, and said "Bonasera."

"Stella, it's Danny. I'm with Lindsay." Stella smiled, but what Danny said next took the smile right off her face. "She's crying and shaking, and I can't get her to calm down. Nothing I do is working."

"Whoa, slow down Danny. What happened?"

"I took Lindsay home, and she invited me in. We started talking about what happened. She started crying, saying about how she could have died, but also blaming herself for Flack's situation."

"Surely she realizes it's not her fault."

"Stell, I don't think she's rational right now." He continued, telling Stella about the milk, and how she had begun shaking violently. "I moved her to the floor, because I was afraid she'd fall off the couch. I pulled her back into my arms. That's where she still is, but she's still shaking. I keep trying to tell her everything's ok, but it's like she's not listening. And it's not like I can tell her that it'll never happen again, or assure her Flack is going to be fine."

"Just keep up what you're doing. It's probably helping even if you don't realize it. Just don't let her get hurt."

As Stella hung up her phone, Mac looked at her. "That was Danny. It's Lindsay." Mac looked confused. "Lindsay's not handling what happened today well. I can't believe, she told me she was fine. She seemed ok when she was here."

"She told me she was ok, too. I guess she was just in shock and concerned about solving the case," Mac said.

"Well Danny's with her, she'll be ok for now."

"You think something's going on between the two of them?"

"Why, do you?" replied Stella.

"Yeah, I've thought that for awhile now. They've seemed so comfortable together lately. I'm kind of worried, I'm not sure Lindsay realizes that Danny has had problems before."

"Mac, give Lindsay some credit. Hell, she didn't abandon him when he became a murder suspect."

"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about Danny's never ending stream of girlfriends. I just don't want her to get hurt."

"Have you seen the way he looks at her? Have you seen that he also cares for her? He cares for her in a way that he's not cared for any of his other girlfriends."

Meanwhile, back at Lindsay's apartment, Lindsay was still agitated. Danny was afraid that if he wasn't holding her, she'd be thrashing so badly she'd hurt herself. Finally, Danny felt Lindsay go limp in his arms. He looked down and saw that she had gone to sleep. He decided he rather liked the feel of Lindsay in his arms, so he kept her in his arms, putting his head on top of hers. He decided to stay for the night, in case Lindsay needed someone later.

As she slept, Danny started talking out loud. "You know, Montana, when I heard that announcement over the radio scanner, I was terrified because I knew you were at the site. I was afraid you were dead." He would have been so embarrassed if she woke up and heard him, or if anyone did, but continued, "I was afraid I could have lost you. When I saw you outside, on that phone I was utterly relieved." Tears started flowing down is face into Lindsay's hair. "It's bad for me to say this, but I'm somewhat grateful it was Flack in there in not you." It scared him because he'd never felt these thoughts for anyone before. After a while, he fell asleep as well.

Constructive criticism welcome, flames will be deleted. I am not a professional, and only doing this for fun, I really don't care if this isn't professional quality.