P Back in the old times, when insane people, like the author, were condemned as heretics and burned at the stake, nothing in

Author's Note: I like to make fun of things.  Yea.  I like making fun of Neal, especially; he's kind of stupid in my opinion.  I'm probably going to get flames from Neal lovers now, but that's just my funky mind.  I mean, I think Joren is cool, even though he dies.  That makes me sad, L, but oh well.  Anyways, yea, Neal is just in here to make stupid comments and stuff.  *~These are actions~* Disclaimer at bottom.

Back in the old times, when insane people, like the author, were condemned as heretics and burned at the stake, nothing interesting happened.  Until one day, the author of this fic decided it would be fun to meddle with the minds of the innocent little people back then.  Behold her work of art!

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Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau is dueling with her squire, Nealan of Queenscove, when a large flying thing lands in the fields near them.

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Neal: Ooooohhh... shiny!

*~Alanna hits him on the head and goes to inspect it.  Neal glares at her reproachfully, then follows~*

Neal: Ooooooh... is it an immortal?

*~Alanna throws a spear that magically appears from her hair.  (A/N: Yes, her hair.  It's a perfect place to hide stuff.) Neither of them realizes that she threw it in the opposite direction.  Nothing happens.  Deciding to walk back to the palace to tell King Jon, they turn on their heels (A/N: In perfect unison, I might add!!!) and walk right into the large flying thing with an ikki yakki  browl grookles gook mochash. Somehow, however, they manage to find their way back to the palace.~*

~~~Meanwhile, inside the large flying thing…~~~

Bob the Pineapple: OK, crew, remember to introduce yourselves as the Ylajukeedyfegalkikasians from Tegachelupiakia.

Crew: Yes, captain, sir!

Bob the Pineapple: I want to hear you say it.  SAY IT!

Crew: We are the Ylajukeedyfegalkikasians from Tegachelupiakia!!

Bob the Pineapple (Will from now on be Bob; author is tired of typing "Bob the Pineapple): *Claps* Good job, retard! (A/N: I don't know if you've heard the joke about the idiot and the ink blots… if you haven't, get someone to tell it to you.  Then you'll get this better.)

*~The crew beams happily~*

Bob: OK!  Go!!

~~~~Back in the Palace at Tortall~~~~

King Jon: So… a large flying thing?

Neal: Yup!  It was shiny, too!

*~Alanna hits him on the head~*

Neal: Ow. *~Rubs his head~*

*~They, and whoever you (the reader) deems important enough, go to inspect the large flying thing~*

*~Bob the Pineapple and his crew (of fruit) pop out~*

Bob and crew: Greetings!  We are the Ylajukeedyfegalkikasians from Tegachelupiakia!!

Everybody (Who inspected, duh!):  WOW!!!  Ylajukeedyfegalkikasians from Tegachelupiakia!!  Never seen those before!!! 

*~Everybody then tries to say something and nobody understands and all is confusion~*

Sissy the Starfruit (one of the crew): Quiet!

*~Everybody is quiet~* (A/N: I don't know why they listened to a starfruit, especially not why they listened to a starfruit named Sissy)

Bob: Now, we are here for a single reason!  We are here so that you will join the cult of the Old Man Who Does Has Yet To Exist!!!!

*~Cut scene to 100 millennia in the future.  Miraculously, they're all still alive, though Pip the Grape is a little dry…~*

Bob: IT IS NOW TIME FOR YOU ALL TO JOIN THE CULT OF THE OLD MAN WHO NOW EXISTS!

Numair (We wouldn't want to leave him out, would we? *laughs evilly*): I thought it was the cult of the Old Man That Has Yet To Exist…

Bob: It has been a while, my peachy friend.

Numair: *Offended* I am not a peach!

Bob: Well, you sure look like one!  *~Cracks up~*

*~Numair tries to turn Bob the Pineapple into Bob the Bowling Ball, but fails, because nothing bad is ever allowed to happen to Bob the Pineapple, because the author likes Bob the Pineapple~*

To be continued…

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Tamora Pierce characters, but I *do* own all of the fruit, the large flying thing, and the corny humor.  Whatever is not mentioned in anything written by TP, but is mentioned here, is MINE!  No stealing.