Angels Instead, a glee fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not have any relation to Glee or any of the writers on Fox. Purely fictional.

It was a cold September night, and the quiet whispers of air reminded her of the upcoming winter. It was going to be another season of holidays that beckoned for her. She stared out of the window, hoping that the city sounds would somehow drain the tiredness away. It had a long day, but at least, the clock was about to strike and she could finally spend some time with him.

"Mommy, Mommy!" The shriek sent Rachel to leap off her bed, rushing to the aid of her crying 3-year old. As she pushed the door that lead to the adjoining room, a gust of wind howled, and her son's cries grew in volume.

"Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. Everything's okay."

Her arms wrapped around the tiny boy, and she could feel the hug being reciprocated. "It's okay, it was just a horrible dream. It's okay."

"Monstis, Mommy." He cried out, a word he used to describe monsters.

Rachel Berry smiled into her son's cheeks as she gave him a peck of assurance.

"Mommy?" A soft voice came from the door, and she whipped her head before that smile grew wider. The 7-year old girl was clutching her permanently attached blankie in her left hand, while the other busied rubbing her eyes. She let out a yawn before trudging further into the room now that her baby brother had woken her up.

Dragging her feet across the carpet, with her blanket trailing after, the little girl plopped herself on the bed beside her mother.

Rachel allowed her free arm to go around her shoulder and pulled her into the embrace. Her left palm pushed away the bangs off her daughter, while the right tucked the hair of her little boy behind his ear.

"No sleep." Her son whined. Before she could respond, the girl beat her to it.

"Thanks to you, I can't too." Sticking out her tongue at him, Rachel had to resist a laugh because thanks to them, she was now stuck with the same dilemma.

"You dream monstis!" The boy protested.

She wasn't any sort of model mom, but she most definitely knew the best way to keep her children under control. Clearing her throat for attention, they dropped their heads.

"Could you sing my favorite Mommy? It always makes me feel better." Her son asked softly.

She ruffled the boy's brown hair, which was in the same shade as hers. How wonderful it was to be a child, able to forget an argument with your sister at the snap of your fingers. How easy it was to forget anything, really. If only she could retain the same behavior now as an adult.

Her daughter snuggled a little closer without a word. She loved her mother's voice too. It helped her sleep when she was her brother's age. She didn't want to admit it, but she was most certain, (as most children always were when they were young) that she would never stop asking her to sing.

Rachel tucked him into his blanket, while the little girl remained in her seat, only shifting slightly so that her little brother could get comfortable in his bed. When she saw that he had settled himself right where he was, she climbed into her mother's lap, and the 42-year old woman kissed the top of her head before wrapping her arms around.

Her son looked at her eagerly, and Rachel wished it could stay like this forever.

I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
Cause I've been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed

She leaned in to tickle the small boy, erupting giggles while her daughter nuzzled her nose into her skin. She hugged her a little tighter and continued.

Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

"Good evening folks, this is your captain, Finn Hudson speaking. On behalf of my crew, I'd like to thank you for flying Continental Airlines, flight 534 from Los Angeles to New York. Cabin crew, prepare for landing."

As the wheels hit the runway, Finn Hudson felt that familiar pull back to his seat, and a surge of satisfaction shot up his back at another successful flight.

It was always his dream you know, to be a pilot. There's this inexplicable joy about being the one responsible for sending each and every single passenger back home. Tonight, it was even more special, because tonight, he could go home too. The thought of seeing his little monsters brought a beam to his face.

It made him excited as he pushed his way through the crowds to get to a cab. He closed his eyes once he was inside that infamous yellow vehicle, and her face flooded his fantasy. He missed her so much, and just the image of being able to hold her again within the next hour made him wish he were driving the cab instead.

This was not a good night in New York. In fact, it would hardly ever be. It seemed like ages before he could even make it. But eventually, the driver pulled up before his building, and Finn Hudson felt his feet carry him up the stairs, past the front door and into the arms of his wife, Rachel Berry Hudson. She had just closed the door of their little girl's room when he took her by surprise.

"Hey babe." He whispered into her hair, once he spun her into his arms.

Her little fingers dug into his uniform, never wishing to let go of her husband. She loved the way he made her feel whenever he engulfed her like that. It was extraordinary how she had to be the grown up mom in front of her kids when the second he stood before her, she was transformed to that teenage girl from Ohio again.

"How are the little squirts?" He asked softly, still hanging unto her.

"They're asleep. Sure missed their dad a whole lot." She whispered gently into his ear.

"I didn't hear his mom missing me though." He replied teasingly before laying a peck on her shoulders. Her vanilla essence drugged his nose, just like how it always did.

Rachel giggled at her husband's remark and peppered his neck with baby kisses. "Of course she did."

She led him away from the corridor and into the bedroom. He hid a smirk, knowing what was about to happen.

"You know, I was out shopping with Kurt today, and it was too bad he couldn't give me an opinion on what I bought at the last minute." She commented once they finished their bath an hour later. Should she be surprised that it took longer than expected though?

"Why's that?" He asked lazily as he lay in bed with his boxers on while waiting for his wife to come out of the bathroom.

"I didn't think he'd be interested in seeing this." Rachel replied nonchalantly as she appeared before his sight.

His voice was caught in his throat. She saw his eyes widened as he straightened his back and a sneaky smile crept between her cheekbones. Of course she knew what would take place. This was after all, their little tradition to celebrate every arrival home. Finn just assumed their fun ended in the shower, but who says Rachel Berry Hudson isn't game? She did have a competitive side you know.

Her fingers came into contact with the mattress and he didn't dare move a muscle. That was when she knew she got him, hook, line and sinker. The stealthy crawl towards her husband made him tongue-tied and that provocative grin just grew wider on her face with every move.

Just when her face was close enough to his until she could feel his breath on her shoulders, she whispered sultrily,

"Welcome home captain Hudson."

"Daddy!" The little girl screamed once she saw her father sitting in the kitchen the next morning. His smile ran a mile as he opened his arms for her. The little brunette jumped into his lap, and he let out a laugh.

"How's my baby girl?" He asked as he tickled her waist.

He was so huge in comparison to his daughter; you would think he could crush her with his fist. But Finn Hudson could never dream of hurting his little rascal. She was beginning to look a lot like his wife, which was a plus.

"Mommy says you're going to stay home for three whole days!" She held out three stubby fingers and Finn couldn't resist pinching her cheeks.

Rachel walked in and smiled at the sight. "Where's the other monster?" Finn asked his wife.

"Someone's impatient to see his son that he couldn't give me a morning kiss."

As though she could take a hint, the small girl jumped off her father's lap to busy her with a newly bought coloring book. When Finn was sure they weren't being watched, he pulled Rachel in and whispered, "Wasn't this morning enough for you sweetheart?"

She blushed at the remembrance of that morning and shook her head to hide her embarrassment. "I'll get him." She said hurriedly, while his laughter echoed her up the stairs.

The family of four had plans for the weekend so she couldn't wait to get all of them out of the house. Being the wife of a pilot certainly wasn't easy. The same goes for the wife of any soldier, policeman or fireman. Every day when he wasn't around, she had to get through the 24 hours hoping that he'd be okay and he would come home soon.

She hadn't admitted to him, but since she quit the job as an air stewardess after her first born, she'd always freeze up for a second whenever the phone rang. Excluding the days when he was around of course. It was just, nerve wrecking. She knew how important his job was to him, so she wasn't going to stand in the way of that. Sometimes she even wished she could go on the trips too. But that was because he was with her. She would never dream of being a flight attendant if he wasn't her pilot.

Now, her priority was her kids. They were her everything and so was he. Each time they struck gold with his long breaks, she would use it to the fullest potential. And today, this weekend, was going to be no different.

It was a gorgeous Saturday, and the morning welcomed the clan into the hours it had to offer. How wonderful and eternally grateful a person should be for days like this.

The family of four went for a walk at the park, played by the swings and even had time to catch a show. By late afternoon, the kids were exhausted, so Rachel and Finn dropped them off at the Klaine household, as it had always been.

Kurt gave his brother an embrace, but it wasn't as affectionate as the one his wife had for him. After all, they were brothers and Kurt had already gotten used to the idea of him flying around all the time. The little monkeys adored their Uncle Kurt and Blaine, and as much as Finn wanted to spend time with them too, he was looking forward to the rest of day alone with his wife.

When they stepped back to the street, he took her hand and asked, "How about reliving our first date in New York?"

She looked at him. Bow bridge at Central Park and dinner at Sardi's? It was like falling in love, over and over again.

It was a little over midnight when he received the call. And when he hung up, she knew it meant that he had to leave her the next morning.

"It's my job." He kissed her temple as he held her.

"I know, it's just –"

This was what she meant. She adored how she could be the one without any responsibilities whenever he was right beside her. Like it was okay to throw a tantrum because he would do anything to keep her happy. She could cry her fears away without anyone asking her to grow up. With him, she didn't have any labels like Mommy, adult, or housewife. She was just Finn Hudson's girl.

"It'll be okay. Just like how it always will be."

"You just hear all these stories you know. What if one day, I'm just saying if –"

"You've flown with me. I do a pretty good job in that. If you're worried, that's saying you don't trust me." He twirled the ends of her hair as they lay in bed. She had propped her body on top of him, so her chin could rest on his chest as he stared at her.

"No, of course not."

"Then, what's there to worry about? Besides, this is going to be a short one. I'll be back before you know it."

"Promise?" She held up her pinkie. It was actually growing on her because this time, she didn't allow her tears to fall. He would be back, just like he always did.

And through it all
He offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Where ever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
He won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

She had just dropped her little girl off at school when the phone rang. For a second, there was that fear again, but she let it slide, seeing it was just Kurt.

"Rach." He started and that was when her smile dropped. It happened. It has happened. The stories she heard about all the time, wasn't just information to her anymore. Because when Kurt started to sob, she felt herself lose her balance. It was a good thing she hadn't been driving, because when her brother in law poured out the details between the sobs, she couldn't hear him anymore. It was just that one statement that repeated itself over and over again in her head,

There was pandemonium everywhere in the hospital, as nurses in her vision busied themselves with one victim after another. It was gory, nonetheless; a plane crash could never be a pretty sight. But she hadn't had time to register all of that in her head. She had one goal, and it was to get her to him, alive. Kurt wasn't very specific about the status, or maybe she just wasn't listening.

After fifteen minutes of fury and confusion, she finally got through to one of the nurses. It wasn't easy to explain where she wanted to go, between the cries and gasps of air. But somehow, someway, she found herself in the embrace of Kurt Hummel, and he too was a wreck.

But the porcelain man knew someone had to be strong. He also knew that Rachel couldn't be it, so he held on to her, as they waited outside the emergency room.

The squeaky shoes of the nurses against the polished white floor became a distant sound to their ears. And so did the shouts and screams of the crowd. Rachel Berry Hudson had her face pointed towards the beaming lights of the emergency sign above. Clutching her best friend's hands for dear life, she relied on the mental countdown in her head to get her through. Whispering the words over and over again, kept her sane.

"Please let him be okay, please let him be okay."

When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
He breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

"Mrs. Hudson?" The doctor's voice pulled her back to reality. She raised her head slowly, and his smile was possibly the hopeful sign she needed. When he gave her the go ahead nod, she scooted past him, making a mental note to thank her savior later on.

Her eyes blinked back its tears, as she yanked the door to reveal her husband. He had a scratch across his left eyebrow, with a couple more on his right cheek. His hand, wrapped up in gauze clutched his chest as he struggled to sit upright. Still despite all of that, he had a smile plastered on his face.

"Hey babe." He called out to her just like he always did when he came home.

She lunged into him when he welcomed her with his arms, and then grimaced when she temporarily forgot that he wasn't in his best shape.

He stroked her hair, hoping this little gesture would calm her down. "Told you I'd be back."

"Mommy?" The little girl's voice asked for her as the eyelids began to take a toll.

"What is it pumpkin?" She kissed the forehead softly, allowing her lips to linger on the skin of her daughter.

"He's coming home tomorrow right?"

"Yeah he is. Are you excited sweetheart?"

Amelie Hudson nodded joyously. By now, her eyes had given into the temptation, and as she hugged her blankie close to her. Then, she whispered,

"I miss him."

"So do I, honey. But it's okay. Remember? It will be okay soon."

"Because he's coming home, right?"

"That's right."

Amelie Hudson, now comforted by the thoughts of tomorrow, finally allowed sleep to take over her consciousness, and Rachel leaned forward to lay another gentle peck.

The woman of the house retreated to her bedroom, looking forward to the prospects of tomorrow just as much as her daughter did.

As she snuggled back into her bed, under the comfort of her covers, she looked up into the sky, the one thing that never changed despite everything she's been through.

And with the stars pressed on the velvet navy sky, her phone rang. Tonight though, she wasn't afraid anymore because she knew he was in a safe place.

"Hey." The caller greeted, and a smile spread across her face.

"Hi honey. Too excited to sleep?"

"Sorta."

"The little ones have been looking forward to tomorrow. They sure did miss you being around."

"I can't wait to see them." He paused before lowering his voice. "I miss you too."

Rachel smiled, such a little boy, she thought to herself.

"Well, get some sleep. We'll have plenty of time for that tomorrow."

"Mmhmm."

"So I'll see you then."

"Okay."

She knew him well enough. There was something he wanted to get off his chest, but probably struggled to string his thoughts into sentences that made sense. So she took her cue.

"You know you can tell me anything."

"Never mind, it's nothing really. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night sweetheart." And just when she was about to hang up, he came again.

"Mommy?" He whispered.

"Yes Christopher?"

"I miss Dad."

"I know honey. So do I, every single day. September really isn't such a good month for us huh?"

"Yeah." Her 18-year old son replied quietly. "At least I've got college to keep me busy. I don't know how you do it."

"I've got Amelie and Finnick. They are a handful you know."

A soft chuckle seeped through the teenage boy and Rachel sighed at the sound. Every single day her first born was growing more and more like her husband. Finnick Hudson may seem like the last gift her husband had given her, but Christopher was also another treasure.

"Get some sleep. And we can talk about that tomorrow alright?"

"Okay. Night mom."

"Good night honey."

Rachel closed her eyes once the call ended, and sang to herself the chorus of her son's favorite song.

She hadn't realized that she was nearly breathless by the end of it, but she was. So she got out of bed and made her way to the tiny balcony outside her window. There, she sat on the ledge, thinking about the one memory that kept her going.

Finn spotted his girlfriend at her locker and smiled to himself. Creeping as gently as he could so she wouldn't hear him proved to be a little tedious, given his built.

"Hey babe." His arms moved swiftly across her waist, and Rachel jumped at the limbs that appeared from her back.

"I got you something for Christmas. Do you want to see?"

She turned to look at him and didn't bother to respond as he was already digging through his bag pack. Presenting a folded paper with a Christmas bow on it, she opened up to the piece that caught her breath.

"It's your own star." He said proudly.

Swallowing to keep herself steady, she asked, "You named a star after me?" Looking up at him, she wanted to spot for hints of any trickery.

But he just stood there, smiling down at her. "No, I thought about that but then I named it Finn Hudson." He let out a breath before continuing, "Because there's already a star named Rachel Berry and she's right here on earth and she's brighter than any of those stars up there."

A small smile cracked under her nose and she bit her lip at his statement.

"So I wanted to make sure that whenever she feels lonely she can look up in the sky and no matter where I am, she can know that I'm looking down on her. Even when it's night time."

Her fingers traced the name on the piece of paper.

"It's too much."

"No, no, it's okay."

"No, it's too much wonderful for a girl. I get the guy, and the stars –"

Finn cupped her cheek with his hand and she allowed the heat to relish in this moment of selfishness.

"Hey stranger," She began to whisper in the night, hoping that in some bizarre way, the wind would take this message up to him. "It's been another of year of you not being with us. But I just wanted to let you know that we're doing fine down here. I hope that where you are right now, you're doing good too."

"Christopher called, and he's coming home from college tomorrow. That boy's growing so much, he's starting to look like you. I guess, that's why Amelie's excited to see him come home. It would seem that her father's back again. We're lucky we got him when we were young eh?" She tried to make a joke out of it, smiling momentarily.

Then, her voice drops a volume and she whispers again. "He misses you, so does Amelie. I'm not sure about Finnick, but I'm sure somehow in that little 3 year old's head, he does too." She bit her trembling lip. Every night, she whispered the same thing over and over again, but tonight, and every year on this day, it was a little difficult.

"I miss you babe. Every minute of every day of every bit of my life, I miss you." The tears were beginning to form in her eyes, and she allowed them to fall. Nobody but Finn could see them anyway, so this was her time to be like that little girl again.

She looked up into the sky, and she wasn't sure if it were true. But she allowed herself to believe it anyway. One of the stars seemed to have gone a little bigger, shone a little brighter and glistened even more spectacular than the rest of them. Then instead of the howling winds from before, the weather softened up. At first, it stayed eerily quiet, and then just like that, a soft wave came into contact with her cheeks.

She wiped the dampness away and smiled. Looking up again, that one star didn't seem so significant anymore. But she kept her eyes on it anyway.

"I love you too babe."

To PaochiCute, my lovely girl who's just been so wonderful to me every step of the way. You are simply an extraordinare by heart, and it's been incredible for whatever you've done. You don't know how much you light up my world love. Keep staying beautiful for the person you were meant to be, and Happy Birthday darling.

To CarCarBeepBroom, sweetheart, you're already an angel in disguise. No matter the trials that's about to come your way with college applications, or just growing up in general, know that you have made such an impact on my life, it's just indescribable. Thank you for being you dear. Happy Birthday.

Also, if you're reading this, for anyone who's ever lost someone, an acquaintance, a friend, a loved one, or even like me, a father figure, this is for you.