[Monday]

Sasuke was just about to leave for work when he heard the tell-tale thunk in the hallway that meant his too-lazy-to-use-the-stairs boyfriend had just jumped up the outside of the building. He sighed.

And sure enough. "Sasuke! Let me in!"

He opened the door and there was Naruto, with a smile brighter than the sun. He was holding a tomato with a candle in it.

Of course he is, Sasuke thought to himself. Why wouldn't he be?

"Happy Birthday!" Naruto announced, beaming.

Sasuke was deeply annoyed. "Naruto," he said, eyes narrowing. "My birthday isn't until Saturday."

"I know that," Naruto said back, laughing. "But I've got five birthdays to make up for! Just pretend that you're turning fourteen."

It was way too early in the morning for this. Just when he thought he'd reached the end of this moron's idiocy, he pulls something like this on him.

"Blow out the candle," Naruto went on.

"You can't be serious," he said.

"Well I couldn't get you a cake, could I? You wouldn't eat it!"

"I'm going to be late for work," Sasuke protested.

"You don't have to eat it now, just blow out the candle. Then it's officially the start of your birthday week."

The words birthday week sent a shiver of apprehension up Sasuke's spine, and he was horrified by the thought of what else the moron could have come up with in the name of celebration.

But the blonde looked beyond pleased with himself, bounding from one foot to the other, grinning like a maniac. The candle in the tomato tottered, almost falling over, and Sasuke quickly leant over and blew it out before it fell. If the flame extinguished itself, he would almost certainly never hear the end of it.

"I hope you made a wish," Naruto said, and Sasuke sighed again. He took the tomato and placed it inside his apartment and then, gripping Naruto's hand, dragged him down the hallway towards the stairs.

"I wished to not be late for work, dead-last," he said, and Naruto laughed.

[Tuesday]

Sasuke sat at his table, watching Naruto slowly but surely destroy his kitchen. There was not a single surface that wasn't covered in pasta sauce, even the roof. My birthday dinner better include him cleaning up, he thought, grumpily, hands itching to take over before Naruto burned his apartment building down.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto called out. "How can you tell when the pasta's ready?"

"Didn't you read the instructions on the back?" he muttered.

"There were instructions?" Naruto asked, turning to look at him, eyes wide.

Sasuke took a deep breath and walked over to examine the pot's contents. As expected, it was complete mush. "Probably about five minutes before it looks like that," he said.

"Oh," said Naruto, looking crestfallen. "Wow. I really can't cook."

"You have pasta sauce on your cheek," Sasuke informed him.

Naruto blushed. "Look, I really can't explain how I made such a mess-"

Sasuke walked over to his fridge and pulled out the two ready-made bento boxes he'd bought when the blonde had informed him what his Day Two present would be. "I'm starving," he said. "Let's eat."

Naruto pouted. "Won't you even try it?" he said, coming over to stand in front of him, arms folded across his chest.

Sasuke leaned over and gently kissed his boyfriend's tomato-covered cheek. "Mmm," he said, putting down the bento boxes and wrapping his arms around Naruto's waist. "It could be worse."

Naruto blinked, and looked at Sasuke in shock. "That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me," he said. "Maybe I should cook more often!"

[Wednesday]

"Sasuke," Kakashi called, leaning around the corner. "You know the rules," he said, looking cross.

"Regarding what?" he muttered, looking up from his work with reluctance.

"It's your birthday, isn't it? Where's the cake?"

Sasuke growled. With Naruto away on an overnight mission, he'd been hoping to get some time off from this madness.

"You know it's not actually my birthday, right?" he informed the Hokage.

"According to this, you're turning sixteen today," Shikamaru said from his desk across the room. He pointed to the calendar on the wall, where Sasuke's moronic boyfriend had written Sasuke's 16th birthday on today's date, nestled between Sasuke's 15th birthday and Sasuke's 17th birthday.

Honestly, just because Naruto was the town hero didn't mean he should be allowed to scribble over official Hokage documents.

"The rule," Kakashi went on. "You have to bring cake on your birthday."

"I refuse," Sasuke said.

"You did yesterday," Shikamaru added unhelpfully.

"I did not," he grumbled. "If Naruto wants to spend his money on cake for the whole office that's his issue." Issue was probably an understatement.

"Make today's cake chocolate," Kakashi said, and left the room.

Sasuke scowled. There was no way he was leaving the mountain of work on his desk to track down a chocolate cake for some bogus rule that definitely did not apply to him-

"We had chocolate on Monday, though," Shikamaru complained. "Oh well. Hokage's orders."

Then again. At least it would give him some time away from these freaks.

Sasuke was looking forward to a nice quiet evening, dinner alone, a bath, maybe even a chance to properly clean his kitchen, which was still covered in bright red sauce. Alas, it was not to be. He opened his front door and there waiting in his apartment was a clone.

He frowned. "Naruto," he said to the clone. "You can't be serious."

"Sixteen is a very important birthday!" the clone declared. "I'd never make you spend it alone!"

Sasuke crossed his arms. "And just what is the clone here to do? You know they're not allowed to touch me," he said.

"Ummm," the clone said. "Well, we could just, watch a movie or something? Go and have dinner?"

Sasuke sighed. "I've had a very long day, dead-last. You're excused."

The clone glared. "I'm here to make your birthday memorable," it said.

Memorable, huh. All I want to do is take a shower. Without an audience.

Hmm. Sasuke walked passed the clone and into his bedroom, and as expected the clone followed him. Sasuke faced away from him and slowly began to unbutton his shirt. When it was halfway undone he let it fall off his shoulders and turned his face to look at the clone.

As expected, it was watching him very intently, eyes glued to the bare skin.

He continued to undo the rest of his buttons, very slowly, then let the shirt fall to the floor.

"Sasuke," the clone said, voice hoarse. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he said, innocently. "I'm getting ready to have a shower." He reached for the bottom of his undershirt and slowly began peeling it off.

"You're a monster," the clone protested, when Sasuke dropped the shirt on the floor and turned to face him properly.

Ignoring him, Sasuke reached up to undo his hair from where he'd shoved it out of his face this morning. Naruto liked that his hair was getting longer; Sasuke found it annoying. Staring at the clone's quickly reddening cheeks, Sasuke was reminded that his boyfriend liked it a lot.

He reached down to the top of this pants and slowly started undoing the buttons.

"Cut it out," the clone whined. "Or at least make an exception for one night-"

"No," Sasuke declared. "Your demon clones are never touching me again."

He slipped his pants down over his hips and the clone growled.

"Dammit, Sasuke!" it hissed, and with a stamp of its foot, puffed away into thin air.

[Thursday]

"So what's my birthday present today?" Sasuke asked, snuggling into Naruto's chest and grinning. Naruto had tackled him and dragged him off to bed the instant he returned from his mission, actually shredding one of his favourite shirts to pieces in the process.

"You don't deserve it," Naruto said, shoving Sasuke away and crossing his arms. He glared.

"Hmm," Sasuke murmured, inching back to his side. "There are bets happening at the office about what else you're going to get me."

"Really?" Naruto said, struggling to maintain his glare.

Sasuke grazed his hand over Naruto's chest and nipped at his bare skin. "Some of it isn't entirely appropriate for a workplace environment."

"I hope they haven't given away the main one," he said with a frown. "I did ask Sakura-chan about it."

"For Saturday?" he asked.

"I was gonna give it to you tomorrow. Well, you have to choose it."

Damn it, Naruto was really wearing him down. He was curious.

"And today's gift?"

Naruto blushed. "I don't want to give it to you anymore," he said.

"Where is it?"

Naruto sighed, and leaned off the bed to rummage around in the pile of clothes on the floor.

He handed Sasuke a piece of paper. "I wrote you a poem," he muttered, looking away. "Kiba dared me to."

Sasuke bit back a scoff. Don't laugh, don't laugh, he told himself, but failed as soon as he looked at the paper.

Special
Awesome
Sexy
Unparalleled
Know-it-all
Enthralling

"Let's see you do better!" Naruto shrieked at him as Sasuke laughed. He tried to snatch the paper away, but Sasuke gripped it tight.

"Oh, no you don't," he said, "I'm keeping this forever." He slipped it into his bedside table drawer, still laughing.

Naruto tackled him into the mattress and growled into his neck.

"You're such a jerk," he said, biting Sasuke's throat.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto's back and tried to stop laughing. "Enthralling?" he asked.

"I wrote another version as well," Naruto went on, pouting and looking down at him. "Ahem. S is for sensitive rear end, A is for ass that won't quit-"

Oh my god. "Naruto!" he hissed, clamping his hand over the idiot's mouth.

Naruto bit at his fingers and Sasuke snatched them away.

"The next S is for screams like a banshee when I-"

"Naruto!" he shrieked.

[Friday]

The paperwork on Sasuke's desk was now completely obscured by the piles of flowers and still-wrapped boxes spread out all over them. The whole office smelt like a florist. Sasuke growled under his breath. How am I supposed to work under these conditions?

Sakura leant on the wall watching him sift through petals and ribbons, silently judging him as she wolfed down a second piece of cake.

"Don't even start," he said to her.

She grinned. "Do you think he'll do this next year?" she said. "It's been great for Ino. Naruto buys whatever she suggests."

"Since he's now made up for all five birthdays I apparently missed, I don't see how he could justify it."

"Five birthdays. Wow," she murmured. "You know, you could have made your life a whole lot easier by just staying in Konoha for your birthday last year. Eighteen is a big deal, you know. And you missed my birthday as well, so I've got no sympathy whatsoever!"

He groaned. "Was there something you needed, or are you just here for the cake?"

"I'm taking notes," she said, "on the type of behaviour one should expect from their boyfriend," she continued, her voice getting louder by several decibels. There was an audible yelp from the next room.

"I don't know when birthdays became such a big deal anyway," he grumbled.

She sighed. "You're such an idiot. Think about it," she said, waving to him as she left the room.

Sasuke frowned. It's not like he'd planned to be gone last year during his birthday. And he can honestly say he'd barely noticed his birthdays while he was away from Konoha. He didn't remember his first few birthdays; birthdays four, five, and six where really just reminders that he was already far behind what his brother had achieved by that age.

And then those other birthdays, well, he did notice them, even though he tried not to. What would be the point? He'd been all alone in that apartment, and really what was the point of birthdays if you had no-one to celebrate them with-

Oh, he thought. ….shit.

"Sasuke," Naruto murmured, leaning into the office. "My mission finished early, so I'm just gonna hang out until you're finished work-"

"I'm done," he said, standing up.

"Huh? You never finish by five," Naruto said.

"Doesn't matter. Let's go."

Sasuke got up from his desk and moved to grip Naruto's shirt, pulling him closer and kissing him. Naruto squeaked and pushed him away

"Hey!" he said. "We're in public!"

"There's no one here," Sasuke said, which was true; it being a Friday afternoon, everyone had left as early as humanly possible. He snaked his arms around Naruto's waist and pulled him in, running his hands up and down his back.

"You'll just get angry is someone sees us," Naruto whined.

"I won't," he said back. "Not today." He nuzzled Naruto's cheeks and nipped at those whisker makes he loved so much.

"Oh..." Naruto said with a little groan. "Okay then...if you insist..."

"Hey Naruto..." Sasuke breathed into his ear.

"Mm?"

"Where's my present?"

"Your...oh! Your present." Naruto pulled away and grinned. "Oh, but, I told them we wouldn't be there until at least six."

"Them?"

"Ah...yeah." Naruto looked at his feet, managing to look sheepish whilst still grinning that ridiculously wide grin of his. "The pet shelter."

Sasuke blinked. "The pet shelter," he repeated.

"Well," said Naruto. "I thought, since I'm away so much. And I don't want you to get lonely so...I thought you might like a cat."

Sasuke was floored.

"But don't be angry! You don't have to get one if you don't want to!"

"...I'm not angry," Sasuke told him.

"Really, we don't even have to go look," Naruto continued. "But I know you like cats. You said so one time."

"Let's go," Sasuke said.

"Really?"

"Really. But first you need to get your clones to carry all this stuff to my apartment," he said, waving at all the flowers and boxes. "I don't want the flowers to die over the weekend, and I think there's stuff I haven't opened yet."

"Ah! Okay! I'll do it right now!" Naruto said, looking beyond pleased.

...really, it was so easy to make this guy happy. He should remember to do it more often.

***

[Saturday]

Which was how it came about that Sasuke woke on Saturday morning (his actual birthday) to find Naruto fast asleep next to him, curled up on his stomach, with a tiny ball of ginger fluff nested into the croak of his neck.

Sasuke snuggled closer and reached out to gently touch his new kitten. She slowly unfolded herself and opened her eyes, and yawned a delicate little yawn.

So cute, Sasuke thought in amazement.

The kitten re-settled further towards Naruto's face, her tail falling right on his mouth. Naruto wrinkled his nose, and coughed and sputtered.

He opened his eyes, still coughing. Sasuke reached out and pulled the cat away for safe-keeping.

"Sasuke," Naruto coughed. "Your cat is trying to kill me."

"I won't let her," Sasuke said, placing the kitten on top of the blankets, and watching it stumble around.

"She's cute," Naruto said.

"Mm," Sasuke agreed, rolling onto his side and sliding closer.

"Oh," said Naruto. "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you," Sasuke said, leaning over to kiss him. "...ugh. How did you get cat fur in your mouth?"