Wassup, Funk Monkeys? Welcome to my first fan fiction! It's YouXElliot March! This is actually a continuation of a fan fiction from . Here is the writers original intro: Okay, this is a Alice in the Country of Hearts drabble-shot set (if your not familiar with it look it up, it's awesome!). In this world, you are there in the place of Alice, and this is what I assume would have happened if you had happened on Blood's mannor before anywhere else.

I do not own Alice in the Country of Hearts, manga or movie. If I did, I would not be writing fan fictions about it! I also take no credit for chapter 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5. Let's begin, shall we?

Prologue

Heaving a sigh, you stared up despondently at the ceiling of the ornate room that you had been gifted with in Blood's manor.

Since your unfortunate tumble down the rabbit hole and into Wonderland, you had been living a fairly charmed life. After the first few terrifying moments of stumbling blindly around the thick forests of the land, you had been lucky enough to happen across Dee and Dum at the gates to the mafia territory.

Well... lucky in hindsight anyway. At the time you were pretty certain that the little monsters were going to chop you into itty bitty pieces. And possibly eat the leftovers (you really never could tell with those two...). Elliot arriving hadn't helped matters either, what with him deciding to use you for target practice and all. But then Blood had made his grand appearance and put a stop to the 'let's massacre the foreigner free for all' in his usual suave manner. After hearing your plight, the charismatic Mafioso had become quite insistent that you were to stay with them at the manor. Not something that you were about to argue with considering that a) he was the first sane person (or so it had seemed at the time. You now of course knew better...) you had met since the whole ordeal began b) sane or not, the man had a machine gun. Therefore pissing him off would be a very BAD idea given your track record in his mad place c) ... well lets put it this way would YOU be able to say no to Blood Dupre? Didn't think so. That man was sex incarnate.

And so perhaps somewhat surprisingly given your history is this strange, strange, land, it was not Blood that you found occupying your thoughts today.

No, that honour was reserved for a different male.

A certain carrot hating, bunny eared gun slinger to be exact.

"Stupid oblivious man," you grumbled to yourself.

You see the problem was simple. Over your time in wonderland, you had grown rather attached to one Elliot March. Very attached actually. And that was meant in the 'every time I see you I want to jump your bones' kind of way.

But the damn hare. Just. Would. Not . Notice.

Letting out another huff of irritated breath, you rolled on your stomach, pondering how the hell you could make your interest clear to him.

Preferably without horrendously embarrassing yourself in the bargain.

It was at that moment in time that your gaze landed on one of the discarded magazines that littered the plush carpet of your floor (you had managed to bribe the faceless maids into picking these up for you. Apparently even Wonderland females had the need to read mindless trash occasionally.)

It had fallen open haphazardly, displaying an advice column by someone called Lydia.

The title of this particular piece?

How to trick him into bed in 10 simple steps.

Eyes instantly lighting up, you scrambled to the floor and eagerly snatched up the glossy pages, rapidly scanning the column.

Attention ladies!

Are you having bedroom trouble?

Is Mr Right to wrapped up in Mrs Wrong to see what's right in front of his eyes? Is the boy next door more interested in playing with his balls than you? Is that hot bishie that you know to self absorbed to pay attention to your attention?

Well, fear no more! Aunty Lydia has the answer to all your bedroom woes! Just follow these simple ten steps and your man is guaranteed to come crawling!

Grinning to yourself, you (barely) restrained the urge to do a little jig.

Elliot wouldn't know what hit him!

Writers original end.

Hmm, I should probably apologize for turning you a character in this warped tale... but I just couldn't resist! Sorry for making you sound like a pervert!