"Nurse Weasley, pick up line three, nurse Weasley".
"Rose? Rose...ROSE!"
"Huh!" I looked up; startled to find Maya, my colleague, had hit me on the head with a plastic spoon. "What th—"
"Rose, that's you. Pick up line three!"
"What?"
"Line three. They called your name", she said shaking her head in disbelief.
"Oh…sorry", I mumbled as I turned pink.
Maya frowned at me, worried. "Rose, what is wrong with you today? This is the third time you've dozed off. Were you even listening to me when I was talking to you?".
What is wrong with me? I didn't know. I did know all that was wrong but I didn't know what was wrong with me. It was the second of August. Again. Why did it have to come every year? I wished all the August seconds of my life could happen all at once so I could just be done with them? It was the third second of August since I'd been on my own. The third second of August since I left my mother and my brother in London and moved out here in the Irish Highlands in a small cottage on a cliff with no other sign of civilization for miles. I wasn't completely sure why I did it. I didn't even know why I wanted to be on my own and I didn't know how long I wanted this life for. I did know one thing though. I did know that I wished I never knew my dad. I wished I never had a dad and I wished I he never loved me. Why? So that I wouldn't have to miss him this much. It's been exactly three years since my father's death and three years since I've seen my mother and my younger brother before I fled. It wasn't that I didn't love them because I did with all my heart and it wasn't because I blamed them…because I only blamed myself. It was true; it had been my fault; my mistake he was gone and now, I just didn't know whether I wanted to exist anymore. What's the point, anyway? What's the point if we're all going to die anyways? I mean, who could have guessed my father would leave us at forty-three. It was weird what happened to us that summer. Only a month ago we had been celebrating my new internship and my Dad's promotion to head of department at the ministry. Who knew that a month later we would all be mourning at his funeral. And absolutely no one could have guessed a month after that, I would leave in the middle of the night with almost all of mine and my father's belongings leaving nothing but a mere note behind.
"I'm sorry, Maya, today's just not a good day for me", I said as I rushed to the phone in the lunch room and received my line.
"Hello", I said when I heard the familiar beep. "It's Rose. Someone asked for me?"
"Hi, Rose. It's John, Dr. Gibson's intern. He asked me to call you down. He needs to talk to you".
"Oh, um…do you know why?" I asked unsure.
"Beats me", John chuckled.
"Okay, then…I guess I'll be there in five".
"Sure, th-that'll be great". With that he hung up and I went back to the large table in the staff room where I was having my lunch break with Maya. I gathered my things and put my leftovers back in my lunch box.
"Maya, I have to go see Dr. Gibson", I told her as I grabbed my satchel and my white cap which I hated wearing because it always made me sweat on my head.
"But, Rose, we have twenty-five minutes left", she said looking at her watch.
"I know. But that was John, he said Gibson wants to see me".
"John, huh?" she smirked. I pretended not to notice. "Come on, Rose, all the nurses except you think he's handsome, even Patty has the hots for him and she's like fifty!" Maya insisted.
I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop my small chuckle. "I'll come find you later", I said before making my way out the staff room and to Dr. Gibson's office.
This was one of the things I didn't understand about myself: What was I doing working as a nurse at a small town hospital? Before my dad's death, I had gotten a job at Gringott's managing team. I was going to get a lump sum of shares, a huge bonus and a seat at the executive table. My parents were so proud as I had scored one of the best jobs amongst our family and friends. It had always been my dad's dream to see me stand on my own two feet, tall and proud.
Never could I have guessed that I would be working at a community hospital as nothing but a simple nurse. I didn't like the uniforms or the smells or the food in this place. The only part of my job I truly enjoyed was working in the maternity ward watching new lives emerge from the shell of their mother's womb. It was more magical than all the magic I had seen in my life of twenty-one years. I felt comforted and hopeful whenever I was around the children, as if I could channel some of their peace and innocence into my own soul. I sighed and hummed to myself a tune that was a favourite amongst the newborns.
I finally reached Gibson's office and knocked on the door. I waited politely for the doctor or John to open it but I received no reply so I knocked again. I was about to turn the knob but the door opened all of a sudden. "Hi, Rose!" John said cheerily. "Sorry I was just washing my hands".
"That's alright", I said as John stepped aside to let me in. I'd been inside Gibson's office before. There was a washroom and a kitchenette off to the side, a bunch of waiting seats and a desk which I assumed was John's. Next to John's desk was a door, the doctor's office where he did his work. I was positively convinced that given the strict and intrapersonal nature of the doctor, even John was not permitted to step a foot beyond the door.
"Is he busy?" I asked John as I took a seat and placed my satchel in my lap.
"Yeah, he's in there with Mr. and Mrs. Brown", John said taking the seat across from me
"Right", I said even though I didn't know who Mr. and Mrs. Brown were. We were silent after that but I noticed John anxiously fiddled with the buttons of his cuff. I wondered if he was awaiting something important.
"So, how long have you been working here?" He finally broke the silence.
"Almost three years".
"Do you like it?" I watched his hands still as he relaxed.
"If I didn't I wouldn't be here", I muttered. John quirked a brow at me. I sighed, "I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood today".
"It's hard to be in this weather", he smiled. I wondered how he was so cheery then. "I was just asking", John continued, "because Gibson offered me a job here; after I graduate from medical school".
"That's great!" I said putting on the best false-happy expression I could manage.
"Yeah", he said happily. "I don't know if I want to work here though...My parents want me to stay here, near them but I would rather work in Cork or Dublin. I've always wanted to live in a big city; more opportunities I suppose..." We were quiet again. I wasn't exactly sure why he was telling me this. Even if he was trying to spark conversation, I had no comments for his thoughts. The thought of a big city only reminded me of my parents' London home where we lived so happily when my dad was still with us. The thought further depressed me and I looked down pretending to read the pamphlet I picked up from the pile on his desk. I could tell John was gazing at me. I looked up at him a couple of times but he didn't take his eyes away. After I decided I had had enough, I cocked an eyebrow at him.
"What?".
"Sorry", he lowered his gaze immediately and his ears turned a bright pink. "Rose…I-I was wondering if you'd like t-to have…lunch with me sometime?" I stared at him at him quite shocked. At first I thought I had heard wrong. Did John really fancy me? Someone so ordinary like me?. "...I know this great little bistro near my apartment…it's small but really elegant…I mean if you don't want to, that's fine", he quickly added.
But before I could reply, Gibson's door opened and I was thankful for the diversion because I hadn't decided yet whether I was interested in John's offer.
"Aah, here she is", Gibson said happily. "Come in here, Miss Weasley, there's someone I'd like you to meet".
He ushered me in, which I was quite surprised by since I didn't know many people who had the honour of being in his office. It was a small office but the furniture was beautiful and very tidy. I saw a wealthy-looking young couple with a frail toddler sitting in her mother's lap; I assumed them to be the Browns.
"Rose", Gibson said looking between me and the little girl. "This is Harriet Brown. Harriet, say hello to Rose".
"Hello, Harriet", I held out my hand. Harriet looked at my hand, hesitating, before extending out her own tiny one.
"Hi", she said but quickly turned her face to bury it shyly in her mother's chest. Gibson and her father both chuckled.
"Don't be scared, love", her mother said. She was a very pretty lady with hair that looked expensive. I wondered whether it looked like this every morning; I couldn't even remember the last time I had gone for a trim. "Rose's our friend, she's very nice. She's going to be helping you". Her mother turned to me, "She's just a bit shy around new people but I'm sure she'll get used to you". I suppose Gibson wanted me to get Harriet, our newest patient, settled in a private ward. I was going to mention that we have none left until Monday morning when Mrs. Lawson checks out but Gibson spoke first.
"Mr. Brown and his wife want a permanent nurse for Harriet who can stay at their home for a couple of months and I've volunteered you".
I blinked, "What?" So Harriet wasn't going to be checking in today? It had taken me a moment before I realized what Gibson meant. He wanted me to be preferred nurse; a permanent nurse that lives in the patient's home.
"I've told them, you're very bright, wonderful with children and you're very good at what you do as well".
I stared at them all. I didn't want to be permanent nurse. I wanted to be at the hospital where I could see all my newborns everyday and hold them and lull them to sleep. I wanted to be able to see my colleagues at work; Maya and Patty and the rest of them. They were my only friends here. And I wanted to go back home every night and sleep in my own bed. "Sir, I—"
Gibson had cut me off as if he knew I was going to oppose the idea. "The other nurses can't do full time because of their families, Rose, but you live alone so you should be okay?"
My mouth hung open. I didn't want to be living with some rich, snooty people! "But—" I began before Gibson cut me off again. My annoyance with this habit of Gibson's was growing and I held back my urge to cut him off.
"Miss Weasley, why don't you go wait outside while we finish up with some paperwork", Gibson said. The way he peered at me over his glasses made me realize he knew I wasn't pleased with this arrangement. I sighed and went back outside. John wasn't there anymore so I waited alone for what seemed like ages.
"What's wrong?" John had come back. "Why do you look troubled?"
"Gibson wants me to move in with those people and do full time for their sick baby", I said bluntly. "Gibson thinks I'm the best because I'm single and I have no family". I knew I should have held back when telling John. He probably worshiped his boss; perhaps I shouldn't have said anything to him at all.
"It's probably because three nurses have already declined the offer", John shrugged. My ears perked up at this piece of news.
"Three nurses have declined? Why?" I asked.
"The Brown's are offering loads of money but they're…well, they're…they're the difficult-to-please sort of people. You know the nurse Patty? Her sister's friend works as a housekeeper for them. They give her a hard time; she hates working for them but they pay well".
"I knew it", I knew they were snooty just by looking at them but I wondered when Patty had this conversation with John.
"Yeah. I'm surprised he didn't ask you before volunteering you…"
"I'm not", I said. "I mean if—"
Just then the door opened again and Gibson and the little family came out saying goodbye to each other.
"Bye, Rose!" Harriet waved at me; I smiled and waved back.
After they left, Gibson turned to me. "Miss Weasley, I was quite disappointed to see your lack of enthusiasm".
"I can't just stay with them!" I said. "I like bei—"
"It's hardly a few months. Perhaps you might find yourself a promotion upon your return", he said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Why can't Harriet be treated here?" I asked. "Like all the other sick kids".
"Miss Weasley, Harriet is their only daughter and it is their wish that she be treated from the comfort of their home. She is a leukemia patient", he said sternly to me as though I'd given her Leukemia. "Might I also remind you that the Brown's are more than willing to finance their daughter's treatment fully".
"Doctor, I don't have anything against them, honest", I lied. "But I just can't be a preferred nurse. I'm not comfortable".
"Seeing as you are an unmarried woman with no mouths to feed other than your own, I thought you most fitting for the job".
"So?" I said "Just because I don't have a family doesn't mean I don't have other responsibilities". I snapped at him and John stared at me with his mouth hanging open. The spoon he had been holding had slipped through his fingers causing a loud clank. He picked it up and hurried to the kitchen. Gibson ignored both John's clumsiness and my sharp tongue.
"Rose", he said taking off his glasses and wiping them on his handkerchief. He sighed, "Might I suggest an early night for you? Why don't you head home. Take this opportunity into consideration with an open mind. I am certain that you will, indeed, make the right decision".
"Doctor, my decision is the right decision", I insisted and tried to make him see reason with me.
"I gave them my word, Miss Weasley. Have you any regard for our reputation? How degrading it is—"
"I respect you very much, sir, but I'm sorry. You should have asked me before", I couldn't handle Gibson's ignorance anymore. He looked taken aback; I was sure I was the only one who had spoken to him that way.
Gibson blinked and put his glasses back on. He pursed his lips and looked away towards the tiny wet window. "Miss Weasley, your notice of termination will be filed within the next hour and your paycheque for the first half of this week will be sent to you by mail. John, will you be so kind enough to show Miss Weasley out".
I froze in my spot, as if I was treading on thin ice that would crack with a single move. Somehow I felt I had already drowned though. Gibson was sacking me? I could hardly believe it. I glanced at John to confirm this was real and I wasn't dreaming but he looked just as speechless. This wasn't fair. Gibson wasn't allowed to just fire me for not following his order. He may have been my boss but even still, he couldn't fire me for not agreeing to be a fulltime, personal nurse. Nowhere in my contract did it say that I would have to do such a deed whenever Gibson ordered…or maybe it did, I never read that darn thing anyway.
Unfortunately for Gibson, I had inherited my father's pride and fragile ego. "That's alright, sir. I absolutely have no problem with that", I said through gritted teeth.
And with that, I turned on my heel and walked out of the office. I didn't care if I was fired. I'd find a new job. I've learned in the past three years not to attach myself to anyone or anything because nothing ever lasts. I didn't feel any remorse for the Browns either which made me feel ashamed at how apathetic I was becoming. But the truth was simple, I didn't want to leave my home even if it was for a few months.
"Hey, Rose, what happened?" Maya stopped me at the receptionist's desk.
"Gibson fired me", I said without difficulty.
"What?" Maya choked and coughed into her water bottle that she had been drinking from.
"Yeah. But that's alright", I shrugged.
"B-But why? You're one of the best on the staff", she asked.
I shrugged again.
"What's this I hear?" Maya and I turned around to see Patty had returned to her desk.
"Gibson fired me…but on a better note, John asked me out to dinner", I snorted thinking John probably doesn't want that dinner anymore after witnessing what kind of person I am.
"You got fired? My dear, where are you going to find another job?" Patty said worriedly in a hushed tone so no one passing by could eavesdrop.
"I don't know", I sighed as I realized my dilemma.
"Maybe…maybe you should go see your mum", Patty suggested sincerely. "I've been noticing you've become a bit strange lately, my love".
"I…I don't know…" I said. I couldn't just show my face after so many years. What would I say to her? How would I explain myself?
"Rose, your mum loves you and must miss you so much", Maya placed a hand on my shoulder for comfort.
What they didn't understand was that that's precisely what I was afraid of. I didn't want to love or miss my mum and I didn't want her to feel that way about me because there's no point. I'd eventually lose her too. I wished I had been this smart about my dad…I gulped as my spit was caught in my throat.
"I-I have to go…we'll keep in touch", I said before running out of the building and towards my car.
I threw my satchel in the seat next to me but before I could turn the ignition on, tears started pouring out of my eyes and I couldn't find a reason for them; one that my pride would allow me to accept. I wished I wasn't fired. How could Gibson do that to me? I used to love my job. I had no idea what to do or think so I just wiped my tears feeling stupid for being so silly and I drove. I drove down the narrow roads of this town and crossed the bridge to Valentia Island. I drove past the small town and took the detour up a narrow, wet dirt road to my cottage which lay on the highest point. It was on a cliff which a rocky beach below. It wasn't the most beautiful of beach destinations but it was beautiful to me and I loved listening to the waves at night when they collided with the rocks. There was also a single tree with a tire swing that I often visited when I wanted to escape my own thoughts. When I parked my car and stepped out, I noticed a bit of wind and realized how dark it was getting for this early in the afternoon. It was as if the sky was mourning, perhaps it was anticipating the departure of summer in a few weeks time
It was late afternoon when I put my things on the coffee table and headed straight for my room, the only room here. This cottage once belonged to my dad. He and my mum used to retreat here before Hugo and I were born. He had sold it a few months before his death but I bought it back with what he left me. I liked how small it was, it made me feel less empty. I had a small kitchen with some basic appliances and a table for two. In the sitting room was a couch with a centre table, television set, and rocking armchair. One door led to the bathroom and the other to my parents' old room where I slept. Sometimes when I closed my eyes, I could still smell his familiar musky scent in his pillow. The third door led to a small storage room with a washer. That's where I stored my dad's stuff that I brought with me; stuff like his favourite tie that Hugo and I had gotten him for Christmas when we were much younger and his lopsided glasses.
I got under my covers and laid there in my bed. How could three years have passed by already? It seemed unlikely as it felt like only yesterday that we were celebrating his promotion. It seemed unlikely that he's really gone. I should have gotten used to it by now but whenever I closed my eyes, I felt like I was lying under my covers in my room at home—my mum's home—and he's about to come in my room to yank my blanket off and tell me it's noon and about time I woke up. I smiled to myself as I recalled similar memories. I couldn't help but let a silent tear slide down my cheek. I wiped it away immediately because I was crying for no reason. I hated crying, it never changed anything. It wouldn't help me get my job back and it certainly wouldn't help me get my dad back…
I didn't realize when I had drifted off to sleep but I woke up to the clash of thunder. I jumped out of bed and saw that it was pouring outside so I rushed to get my clothes off the line they were hanging from. They were drenched much to my dismay so I laid them out on the sofa and went to go find a small fan in the storage cupboard which I clearly remembered placing their a couple of weeks ago. Naturally I was frustrated when I couldn't find it this time around but that was soon forgotten when my stomach made a loud grumbling noise. I looked at the clock and realized it was nearing midnight. I had been sleeping for hours which I cursed myself for because now I was going to be up all night. So I went into the kitchen and searched the fridge to find something to eat. I hated frozen dinners but I didn't cook much. I knew how; I just didn't find it necessary when I had an easier option that required less attention. There was no joy in cooking for one person anyway. Tonight, however, I had no more packs of frozen lasagne left and decided I'd have to cook. I checked the freezer and found some raw chicken that I remembered buying in case of an emergency like this one; I decided I'd just fry the chicken and boil some rice with it. While I stirred and chopped, I thought of my dad. My mum had always been the one to cook dinners but once in a while, my dad made something extra special. He'd get his recipes from his mum and Hugo and I would always help him. It was a sort of tradition we had every couple of Sundays. He would tell stories of his childhood and his high school days while I chopped vegetables and Hugo stirred. When my chicken was ready, I suddenly more depressed than hungry so I put the dinner back in the fridge and went back to my bed. I laid there thinking about Hugo. two years younger than me; he'd be nineteen by now. I wondered what he did now. He'd have graduated by now, probably playing professional Quidditch knowing him. He was an athlete and he had made it very clear that she was not going to study magical law and finance like me and daddy and mum. I smiled thinking about all the times he'd try to teach me how to fly in hopes of making me overcome my fear of heights. I remembered how he'd hold me tightly that sometimes, I'd feel like I was the baby sister and he was my big brother.
"You can open your eyes, Rosie", he'd say.
"No! Hugo, I don't like this. What if I fall?" I'd cry out.
"I won't let you fall. Trust me", he'd say with and unbreakable promise in his eyes.
I looked at my clock and it was only been a short hour past midnight. If I hadn't slept so much earlier, I would've been in bed by now and the night would have passed by faster and the morning of August third would come sooner. I couldn't sleep so I decided to gather some courage and take out some of my old photographs and birthday cards. I didn't want to forget my childhood or my daddy's face or my mum's pretty laugh. I didn't want my memories to fade away because they are the only thing that will stay with me till I die.
I was agitated at how my thoughts continuously disturbed by the frightening thunder. I remembered how, as a child, I had always been afraid of thunder and would run into my parents' room and lie in between them until they stirred awake to find me. Hugo would also join us and the four of us would lie there, telling stories, until Hugo and I would fall asleep. The next morning, we'd find ourselves in our parents' bed cuddled next to each other while our parents would take our rooms. I smiled to myself as I remembered my dad would grunt half asleep and half awake, "Again? Rose, you're seventeen and still scared of thunder?" I was suddenly hungry again so I went back to the kitchen to reheat my home-cooked meal. I was taking it out of the fridge when I suddenly heard another clash of thunder and banging that followed. I jolted and hit my head on the roof of the fridge, almost dropping the dish. I placed the dish on the counter and rubbed my skull, annoyed. I looked outside and saw the rain become heavier and heavier. I heard banging again and continued louder than before as I heated my food and only when it turned into knocks did I realize it was not thunder. I looked towards the main door and realized there was someone outside.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
My heart raced and my throat suddenly felt dry. There was somebody on the other side of my door in the middle of the night. I was frightened because no one usually came up here! I tried to stop getting ahead of myself. Maybe there wasn't anybody there. Maybe I was paranoid. Maybe I was going mental from this constant solitude! I rushed to my sitting room window hoping to be right. However, I jumped back when I saw a black car parked next my mine, making mine seem like it belonged in a dumpster. Someone was definitely outside, but I hadn't the slightest idea who? What if they just needed shelter from the storm? Should I let them in? What if it's a serial killer using a night like this to go on a killing spree, seeking shelter as his cover story. I shook the thought away because it was highly unlikely; Not many people come here or even knew that someone lives here. Besides, nothing could make me anymore miserable so I went to my door and unlocked it but not before grabbing my kitchen knife...in case the serial killer tried to make a move on me. I opened the door slightly and peeked through before opening all the way.
I stared. It was a man, a moderately large man with a bulky, dark green raincoat. I couldn't see his face properly because he was wearing his hood, an identifier of crazy murderers I presume. I gripped my knife even tighter and positioned it ready in case I needed to defend myself. But then I almost dropped it when I realized what I saw. The bundle in his arm that he was holding tightly against himself, as if to protect it from the rain, began to wail.
"C-Can I help you?" I said nervously when I notice blood on his other arm.
Immediately the man's eyes shot up and he took his hood off. I stared at him because he looked familiar.
He gazed at me until he inhaled deeply and whispered, "Rose?"
"I-I…" I was speechless when he recognized me. But when I took a closer look at his features, I understood why. "M-Malfoy?"
"Rose, it's pouring out here…" He said with pleading eyes.
I stepped aside to let him in, "Oh…oh, yes…come in. Oh my...Scorpius Malfoy, is that you?" My mind was jumbled and my thoughts were racing everywhere. This man; I knew him! I went to school with him. How did he find me? How did he know I live here? I had made sure to depart so discreetly.
"Your arm!" I gasped at the blood when he stepped into the light. He groaned a little in pain. I looked down at the child in his arms, "A-And you have a-a baby?"
"This isn't my baby, Rose", he said again with his pleading eyes. "I'll explain everything but please, you mustn't tell anyone I'm here".