Dean knocked on the door to the house that he shared with his boyfriend, Castiel. He had been in the service for around three years and was now able to come home, take Cas in his arms, and pull him closer until their lips met for a sweet kiss. A frown appeared on his face when no one opened the door and he bent down, pulling the spare key out from under the door mat. He unlocked the door and quietly walked inside the room. He walked to the hall, a look of horror and alarm appearing on his face when he heard soft moans coming from the bedroom. He hesitated for a minute before his hand gripped the door knob, twisting it, and pushing the door opened. He hid the pain that he felt when he saw the scene that was happening before him. There was Castiel. With Balthazar. Having sex in their bed. "Thanks Cas." He said in an emotionless voice and before the blue eyed man could say anything else, Dean took off down the hall, away from the house he had once called home.
Castiel couldn't remember how exactly the relationship with Balthazar had started, and he could honestly say that he regretted it. It had started a few months after Dean left for the service. He had gotten drunk; very very drunk, and Balthazar had been there and the next morning he had woken up covered in sweat besides a sleepy man. He felt guilty for having continued the relationship over the years, having kept it strictly sexual. Of course the day that Dean would come home to surprise him was the day he and Balthazar were supposed to meet up. He had been kissing the other man, who was currently on top of him, when the door opened and he was met with the dark green eyes of Dean Winchester. "Dean," Cas called after him when he saw the man running off. "Get out." He said in a low voice, shooting Balthazar an angry look as the other man got dressed and left the room. Castiel Novak laid back on his bed just as the tears began to drip from his eyes.
It had been a few months since the incident and he was not doing well. His usually happy, bright green eyes were now a dull shade of green with dark bags under them. His complexion was pale and he had been drinking. Heavily. He sat in a seat of the bar, five empty shot glasses sat in front of him. "Another." He mumbled, leaning against the bar counter. He missed the look on Benny's face as he poured another shot, placing it in front of the intoxicated man. "That's your last, brother. After this, you go home. No drivin, ok?" Dean nodded, downing the shot, not wincing at the pain as the liquid slid down his throat, he was too bothered by the pain in his heart. He couldn't take the pain anymore. He could never get drunk enough to get Cas off his mind. He just couldn't. He stood up, stumbling slightly as he rushed out of the bar, hurrying to his own house. He knew exactly how to end the pain. He arrived at his house around five minutes later, stumbling into his bedroom. He reached into the drawer in his bedside table, pulling out his Smith & Wesson. He had it loaded already and he put it off of safety. He knew what else he had to do though. He pulled out a pencil, quickly jotting down a note before he got on his bed, raising the gun to his mouth. He put a small amount of pressure on the trigger, considering everything he could do. This was it. "I love you, Castiel. Forever and always." He whispered in a broken voice. He pulled the trigger.
Castiel had been sitting at his table, sipping from a cup of coffee when he heard a knock on the door. He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach, he had since the night before. He got up and opened the door, looking down at his brother in shock. There stood his older brother, teary eyed with a flushed face. "Castiel, we should talk." He took his younger brothers hand, leading him to the couch and sitting him down. "Cas.. Dean killed himself last night. He put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger. They found him with a note that said '' I will love Castiel until I die." That was the day that Castiel broke down and began to cry. The next week at the funeral, Cas appeared, a single tear dripping from his eye as he left the cemetery as he left behind his true love and as he felt the eyes of every single person that had arrived.
The rumors flew, but no one knew how much he blamed himself. For years and years, Cas tried to hide the whiskey off his breath. Everyone watched as he drank away his pain, just a little at a time. Cas could never get drunk enough to get those perfect green eyes off his mind. Until the night he decided he knew how to end his pain. He walked into his room, taking a seat in the bed that he and Dean had made love in so many times before. He opened the drawer besides his bed that contained the last things Dean had with him before he died. The note and the pistol. He reached over and lifted up a picture of himself and Dean. Their last kiss before he left. He held it close to him and raised his hand, easily pulling the trigger.
Anna Novak was 8 years old when he Uncle Dean killed himself, and 9 years old when her favorite brother killed himself. At the funeral she didn't shed a single tear though. At the end of the service, before her mother pulled her arm to leave, she turned. Standing before her was her brother, Castiel, who was walking over to a man standing behind the willow where two graves now stood. The man behind the tree was his Uncle Dean. She watched as they each shared a small smiled and Dean lifted Cas up in his arms, spinning him around like in a movie before he kissed the other man. A kiss of love and forgiveness. Anna smiled brightly, waving at them before turning and walking off with her family.
Dean smiled and looked down at Castiel. "All is forgiven. I will never stop loving you." He murmured and Cas took his hands, entwining their fingers. Cas leaned up, giving him a soft kiss, pressing their foreheads together. "We will always be together. Through thick and thin. Through life or death." They shared a smile and turned towards the sunset, slowly fading away as they walked.