I'm gonna pick up the pieces,
and build a lego house
if things go wrong we can knock it down.
And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm,
and if you're broken I will mend you and keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on.
His mind is still racing, his heart still thumping in his shirt as he approaches Quinn's door. He knows he shouldn't be here – he has no right to after what just happened. Although he's elated, he can't help the unfamiliar and strange feeling of guilt that pools in his stomach at the sight of her house. There's a dim light in her room, and he contemplates throwing a rock at the window, but quickly decides that wouldn't go down well.
He has to just grow some balls and approach the door. As he knocks lightly, Puck wonders what the hell he's doing here. He should be out celebrating, dragging Mike out for a couple of beers, or forcing Finn to go to a nightclub with him. Instead he's knocking at hell's door, where he's only going to be condemned. Puck ponders his masochistic side as he awaits for one of the Fabray's to answer.
It takes another knock and two minutes for someone to answer the door, at which stage he's becoming irate. Why is he here? echoes repeatedly in his head, and he tries to ignore it. He's a better person now, Puck is going to find his friend – that's what he thinks they've become. In their strange, unorthodox method of doing things. Neither of them have ever been quite normal anyway; at least behind doors.
"Can I help you?" Her voice is cool, but he isn't surprised. Puck feels like rolling his eyes, but instead rakes his eyes over the figure. She has a cigarette in her hand, holding it casually as she waits for him to respond. He long, blonde hair is pulled back into a prim bobbin and she's wearing a green sweater with a black skirt. She's hot, but Puck knows she's worth nothing. He hates her from the bottom of his heart, with every fibre of his being, but he's pretty sure it works both ways.
Before considering a sarcastic reply, Puck decides to be just honest, "Quinn?"
Mrs. Fabray eyes him with her hawk eye for a minute, silently judging and musing, then she takes a long puff of her cigarette. She flicks it onto the ground beside him, then speaks in a haughty tone, "I thought she'd gotten rid of you."
"'Fraid not. No one lasts long without the Puckasauras." He smirks, then points to the stairs behind her, "Can I go?"
She walks away from the door, leaving it open behind her, "Do what you want. If you get her pregnant again, or do anything of the sort in my house, Quinn won't see this house again. Bear that in mind Finn." He winces, knowing she threw that in for good measure.
Puck's sure she's smirking, and momentarily considers saying something crass, but as the guilt comes flooding back to him, he deflects these thoughts and continues to the stairs. The climb towards her room seems to last an eon. Perhaps it's one of those 'time flies when you're having fun' theories that Artie attempted to teach him. He hadn't really listened past that, because Santana had been walking by with that short cheerios skirt and long, tanned legs in his face. He can't help if he's a healthy man.
Suddenly, he's at her door, and Puck wonders again why he's here. It's stupid, he's sure she's fine. (But he has to make sure.) He doesn't bother knocking (everyone seems to forget that they did live together) and just walks into her room quietly, shutting the door softly behind him. He's struck by the darkness of the room. There's a very dull lamp in the corner, but it's not close to her, and so her silhouette is mostly one of darkness. She has her back to him, but he knows she's awake by the rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathes. The curtains are drawn open, and he can see the bright, white stars dotted across the black sky from where he's standing and supposes that she's looking at them.
She sniffs, and he realises his worst fear his in fact confirmed. They don't need words, they rarely have, and he slides into the bed behind her. Quinn leans back into him while he puts his arm around her, holding her closely. He moves her hair from his line of vision gently and is compelled to kiss her on the head. He restrains this urge just about, and instead tightens his hold.
Puck's so close to her that he can feel her shake. He wonders again why he's here. He doesn't do shit like this – he's puckzilla, love 'em and leave 'em. He doesn't do comforting, doesn't do cuddling and he sure as hell does not do crying. (unless it's his mom. And now Quinn it appears.)
After a few moments, the shaking ceases, and his chest instantly feels a little lighter. At least she's stopped crying; that means he's helped somewhat. It's enough to less the guilt, too. She clears her throat, and Puck knows she's going to say something that'll make him regret coming here.
"I—I can't believe I can't see her again," her voice is low and hoarse, but not shaky. Puck's unsure of how to respond for a second. (He's never been good at being serious.) He does something he never ever does then, and puts himself in her shoes. The prospect of not seeing Beth is almost too much for Puck and he's again lost for words. "I didn't think she'd do it. How could you tell her, Puck?"
Damn. He should have expected that one. Puck's never been afraid to speak his mind though, and he's not about to now – besides, he's not trying to get into her pants. It's much easier to be straight when not trying to chat someone up. "It was wrong, Quinn. You know it."
This silences her. There's that stupid, ridiclous guilt again, and he realises that it's not going to go until he tells her what happened. He's not sure how she's going to react, and part of him feels like he has betrayed her. Just as he's about to speak, mouth open and ready, she turns around abruptly. Wrapped in his arms, her nose nearly touching his, Puck loses his train of thought.
She's always been hot. (Beautiful, even if he'd never dream of saying it. But god damn, she's always been his weakness.)
He swallows thickly, and finds that his throat has gone dry. She's looking at him in a way that she hasn't in a long time, which causes Puck to shift away a millimetre. It's not safe being so close to her when she's looking at him like that... That said, she's still in his arms and he can still feel her breath on his face.
Her eyes are downcast, ensuring that all he can see are her long, sultry eyelashes. Her voice is raspy this time, huskier, "What if we did it properly this time?"
Puck's not sure what she means, and tells her as much. He's frowning now, not liking how he's not following her. What in gods name is she talking about? Quickly imagining Finn in Rachel's clothes, his problem (arousal) is elminated and he steadily attempts to ignore their proximity.
Quinn glances up, her hazel eyes looking radiant even though she's never been in a worse place. "Let's make a baby properly this time." Now, there's a guaranteed way to render him speechless. Even Berry would be speechless after that. Has Quinn really lost it now? He thinks it's a pity, 'cause she's hot and smart, but insanity just works for no one.
Not that he'd ever admit it – because it's not manly, and much more Finn's forte – it saddens him to see her so broken. He's never seen the cold, ice exterior melt away so abruptly and never seen her unravel so fast. She's been going off the tracks for months now and she's going to crash; he has to be there.
He has to help her. Why? Well, he's never sure with why. Only losers contemplate those things. And girls.
What was once the head cheerio, the invincible beauty, president of the celibacy club and straight-A student is now nothing but a shell of her former being. He thinks she could be something better, something more, but she needs to come back to reality. He hadn't wanted the first baby – not that he'd ever, ever trade her now – but what makes her think he'd want another?
Beth is perfect. He doesn't need another... Their circumstances are still the same, and she's only trying to replace that empty feeling that he felt for the last year without Beth.
For once in his life, he says what his heart thinks, "That won't fix anything, Q." Puck whispers it, as if the force of the words alone could break her fragile nature and form.
Tears are gathering once more, but he knows she won't cry again. Once is enough for her. Instead, she shakes her head adamantly, "It will. It will, Puck – don't you see what great parents we'd be?" Quinn's voice cracks at the end, and she runs a hand over her face quickly to hide any emotion.
"No, we'd be struggling parents. We've no money. Your parents would kill me. My Mom would kill me. Actually, there's a lot of people who would kill me.. We've school, college." He pauses, "We've Beth."
"I don't have Beth." She mumbles.
"Not right now, but you can be in her life if you get back on track. What happened to the Quinn Fabray who was this hot fiery chick who could kill anyone with one look? I'm not about to get anymore sentimental and shit, cause I'm totally not into that, but sort yourself out. Shelby will let you see her again."
She seems to accept that, and he's surprised. Who knew he would be good at this stuff? Quinn turns and settles against him once again (she's stewing in self-loathing and anger, but he never has to know that) and silence reigns again.
Stupid guilt. He internally groans, and with ten minutes working up the courage, finally breaks the quiet. "I need to tell you something, but you have to keep it a secret."
She doesn't respond for a minute. "Do I want to know?"
He supposes not, but she should. If only for his peace of mind, and Puck is mostly concerned with number one. "I doubt it, but you should."
Quinn sighs loudly, then begins to play with the bracelet around his wrist. Of course, it's a mens manly man bracelet that his mother bought for him when he was seven. It's just bits of string, really, but he remembers the day and occasion clearly because a week after, his dad left. Quinn knows the story behind it, so she won't ask, but he hopes she doesn't start talking about it. Then again, she's not the sentimental type either. They're great like that. "You did something with Shelby, didn't you?"
He freezes, eyes wide. This is some freaky shit – what the hell is this chick? A mind-reader? Or has she been stalking him? Quinn's been doing some freaky deaky shit lately, he wouldn't exactly put stalking past her. He is Puck after all, no one could blame her for being a little obsessed with him. Maybe she's wanted him all along, not Beth. It could make sense.
She nudges him lightly, eyes still turned towards the stars in the sky, and he starts. "Sorry. I, um, I – I slept with Shelby." Her hand freezes at the bracelet before retracting quickly. It's not long till she wretches herself from his hold and jumps off the bed.
Her expression is furious – nose wrinkled, forehead crinkled, mouth set in a thin line – while her fists are curled at her side. She takes a minute compose herself, and then points her finger at him accusingly, "I knew something was going on. All through that stupid mash-up between Mr. Schue and her I saw the two of you.. It was eye sex, and don't tell me I'm wrong, because I've done it with you before Puck! I know that look. God." She says in disbelief and anger, "I thought it would be just a kiss. Tina said I was crazy. Shows how much experience she has with you.." Quinn trails off, putting her hands on her hips and hanging her head. "Can't you just keep it in your pants Puck? Are you really that desperate for anyone to acknowledge you? I mean, honestly, you'll just go for anything with a vagina, won't you?"
Puck doesn't know what to say. What can he say? Nothing he tells her can make it any better. It didn't mean nothing, it wasn't unintentional, it wasn't an accident. "I-"
Quinn looks back up at him, and it hurts him more than her anger ever could. She bites her lip, reigning in the tears, and glances up to the ceiling. Her eyes find his again, and she shakes her head, "How could you?"
"Quinn, I... I don't understand. We're not together."
"Shelby, Puck. Don't you dare tell me you don't understand. Just—just leave, will you?"
Two years ago, he would have thought her saying that was his lucky stars. Now? He can't help but feel like she's taking the cowards way out and not confronting anything like she always does. She can confront people, sure, but when it comes to anything close to feelings Quinn Fabray runs. "What? So you can feel sorry for yourself for a while? Grow up, Quinn."
"You're an asshole."
"You're a bitch."
They don't say anything for the next few minutes. It feels like hours. He's sitting on the bed, studying his shoes (and Quinn when she's not looking) while she's sitting against the wall, eyes closed.
What the hell is he doing here? He looks at Quinn again, and the answer is pretty clear. He's there for her. Sure, he doesn't do the gentelmanly things that most girls wish for and sure, he's not great at talking about feelings or being remotely serious at all. But this girl means something to him, regardless of whether he'll acknowledge that out loud or ever to her.
He's here just for her. To be whatever she needs him to be... With that thought in mind, Puck sits next to her in the floor and pulls her into his chest, "I'm sorry. I know it jurt you that she banned you from Beth, but once you steady yourself again, you'll get to see her."
She bites her lip, like she always does when she's nervous or thinking seriously about something, "Will... will you help me?"
Puck's not stupid, contrary to popular belief. Nor is he completely ignorant of women – hell, he's had to listen to enough cougar complaints about their husbands. Often, he tunes them out, but some he reckons could be used for blackmail someday. Regardless, he's aware that for Quinn – god, especially Quinn – to ask for help is huge. She doesn't reach out to people, she doesn't admit weakness and she sure as hell doesn't need help. Except she really does, and he has to be the one to help her. It's almost a rhetorical question.
He nods, "Of course." It's gotten a bit deep for him, hence he follows with, "We all know you want more of the Puckzilla. That's all you ever want, isn't it, Q? Understandable. Most girls are the same, you know. I'm sure there's some sort of therapy group.."
"You're an idiot." She says dryly, but she laughs too, and the sound is so comforting that he remembers how long its been since he last heard it genuinely. Quinn gives him an honest smile, "You're also an knight in shining armour though. Probably tinfoil, but still."
"Turns you on, doesn't it?"
Quinn rolls his eyes, and as they sit there, he can't help but feel like they passed a milestone. He and Quinn are getting somewhere; somewhere he thought he'd never, ever be in a million years. Puck's matured, whether anyone wants to admit it or not, and he wants to make peace and friends with his baby mama. They need each other, as the only two people in their lives that truly understand. Yeah, she needs him right now, but she won't always. (He's pretty sure he'll always need her.)
He's been called a lot of things in his life, but never a knight in shining armour. He likes it.
(Or maybe he likes that it's coming from her. Something you should know though? He's not going to acknowledge that for much, much longer.)
What do you think? Comments appreciated. It's my first dabble in this kind of Quick. S3 Quick... I found it enjoyable. I understand that it's going to go nothing like this next thursday, but a girl can dream... The whole idea here by the way, is that while Puck isn't acknowledging or even close to, that he's in love with Quinn - because he won't on the show yet if it does happen eventually - I think it's pretty obvious in his actions. He's still hung up on Shelby here, but I think the overriding fact is that he loves Quinn.. They're just not ready yet to face it.
Also, if you're craving a chaptered fic with some Quick I've an ongoing one at the moment called "Friends", please check it out :)
Glee don't belong to me, and neither does "Lego House" by Ed Sheeran.
So, reviews loved, and thanks for reading :)
xCNx