Drown
Derek decided to choose Addison instead of Meredith and she is still trying to get over him, but how can she? He is everywhere, and so is his perfect wife, with her perfect surgeries and her perfect red hair. She just needs something…someone to help her take away the pain. Who else could come along but Mark Sloan? Will he actually fall for her? Toss betrayal, best friends, sex, baking and surgeries and you've got a Greys anatomy Fanfic. MerMark, Addek, MerDer, Mcstizzie, other pairings yet to be decided.
Hope you enjoy
Chapter one: History can't undo itself
The world was a blur, one huge blur. She didn't want to click back into reality, it was just drowning her. She was a doctor, doctors are meant to heal, but there's one thing they can't heal and that's a broken heart. Meredith wasn't stupid, she was actually quite bright. All these common facts that she knew were irrelevant as so as she got into a relationship with non other than Derek Shepherd. She stared into space; his wavy black locks were consuming her thoughts…as usual. She couldn't wipe the feel of his touch from her skin, the way his fingers used to move along the small of her back. His gentle kiss…it was a distant memory. She missed it, she missed lying next to him at night, she missed his scent when she rose in the morning and most of all she missed having Derek, her Derek. Meredith was never a relationship person...and the way she was feeling right now, was the key reason why. That feeling, that feeling that she just couldn't shake off her back weighed down her heavy heart. It made everything run slower, the pain was consuming her, she just needed someone, something to pull her out of the water and keep her warm. Everything seemed so far away, hazy and cold, but there was one thing that hit it home that she had to get over this…and that thing was Addison Montgomery Shepherd.
Addison's red hair caught her eye as she pretended to go through notes, she may had lost Derek but she was not about to give up her self respect to that woman. She hated the way her crimson red hair flew down past her shoulder blades in near to perfect curls. She hated the way that even when she didn't make the effort her complexion was still as radiant as ever. And most of all…she hated the way how she had lost the one man she had put her heart on the line for to her. Meredith noticed as she had caught Addison's icy blue eyes, she quickly glanced down to her patient's charts and continued to pretend as if she wasn't even looking that way. She was the perfect pretender, so at least she thought.
"Hey Mer," A calm voice chirped from behind her.
She quickly clicked back into reality and turned to face Izzie who was stood opaque to Meredith. It took her a while to realise that she had to engage conversation. Izzie's blue eyes twinkled as she patiently waited for a response. She couldn't help but smile as Meredith let a small smirk escape from her lips as she had been waiting all day to hear how her friend's surgery had gone.
"Hey Iz," She said finally with a genuine smile on her face, one of the first of the day. "So how was your surgery with err…" She trailed off.
Meredith knew very well who Izzie had performed brain surgery with, but it still made her heart bleed a little more when she said his name.
"It went well…Dr Shep-"
"Please Izzie; just try not to say his name." Meredith asked while gently rolling her fingers over her warm forehead.
"Sorry," Izzie said sheepishly while glancing at her petite feet. "It went well…I still can't get over the reality that we were inside his brain!" She said ecstatically.
"That's great Iz…" Meredith smirked while trying to force the strongest smile she could out of her small frame.
Sensing the awkwardness of the attempt of the name 'Shepherd' Izzie quickly tried to cut off the conversation. "I'll see you in a bit Mr Winters in Twenty Oh One needs an IV started." She said hastily while grabbing his charts off the side of the nurse's station.
Meredith gently rolled her eyes and waved bye as her friend gained pace down the hall away from her. She rested her body against the nurse's station again. Letting out a heavy sigh she slowly closed her eyes and stared at the blank contents that lived beneath her eyelid. Here it was quiet; there was no pain, no worries, no cares, just peace.
"Dr Grey!" Bailey shouted from down the hall.
Meredith quickly opened her eyes and stared at the short stout woman marching like a soldier up the hall. Her chocolate brown eyes were fuelled open with the lust of getting the job done. She stood before Meredith, her eyebrows lowered and her voice provocative.
"And what do you think your doing stood here like a lemon for?" She asked with a hint of anger creeping into her tone.
"I…err-"
"You were day dreaming that's what!" Bailey shouted, "Its always one of my interns." She murmured while shaking her head.
Her eyes stared deep into the core of Meredith's; it sent shivers down the back of her spine. Doctors like Bailey were doctors that knew what they were doing. She was only harsh to her interns so they would actually learn something. A wise man once said that size never mattered and this quote was definitely true in Bailey's terms. Meredith's lips quivered as she thought round in her confused mind for something to say, the stare that was being visioned from Bailey's eyes was enough to make anyone nervous…especially when the person in question wasn't doing anything in particular.
"Dr Bailey I'm Sorry," Meredith said finally in a calm tone.
"I don't want your stupid suck up 'sorry's'…now go up to OR three, Dr Burke needs an intern on a valve replacement." Bailey said sternly.
"Yes Dr Bailey," Meredith said politely but in her head it was meant to be sarcasm.
"And don't you go day dreaming in there either, or I'll put you on scut for the rest of the week!" Bailey shouted as Meredith made her way up towards OR three.
She practically punched the button for the elevator; she gently rested her arm against the wall and stared at her shoes.
"I'm no surgeon…people like Christina are surgeons." She muttered.
It was only to herself, so she wasn't expecting to hear anyone's voice reply.
"People like Christina are control freaks," A voice said from beside her.
Meredith knew that voice. The way every word that was perfectly formed from its owner's lips made her wants to faint. The lay back tone and the cheeky accent made her remember…so much of the last few months. But in her heart she wanted to forget…forget about the voice and its owner. She'd tried all day to avoid him but it seriously wasn't possible in Seattle Grace hospital.
"You know that was just a personal note," She sighed while getting into the surprisingly empty elevator.
Meredith never asked for his opinion but she knew she'd get it; he was the sort of person that would openly reply to things like that. She watched as his heavy blue eyes watched as she leant against the walls of the corner of the elevator. He stared, he didn't usually. His eyebrows were arched and his lips were sculpted neatly into perfection. She wanted to hate him. She wanted oh so much to hate him. He was letting her drown, and she knew in her heart that the day his gentle fingers touched her skin was the day she was hooked.
"Derek-"
"Hold the elevator!" Someone called from outside of the metal box.
Meredith knew that voice, the way it moulded to form a delicate smooth New York accent.
"Oh Addy," Derek smiled.
"Oh God," Meredith sighed. Next time she'll take the stairs.
Okay, what do you think? Review? Would be good. It's my first grey's anatomy fic so be kind thanks for reading!