Marimba Sticks

Flibber T. Gibbet

Rated: T

Disclaimer: Excuse me while I go and cry in a dark corner.

Author's Rant... Notes: Everyone ignores percussion. And if people notice it's to insult us. Well, at least, that's how it works at my sorry excuse for a school. Go Avery Trace! I'll be the first to admit. Most of the percussion really does suck. I mean, my God, how hard is it to count to four and hit a drum? Granted, the tempo is often impossibly fast, but still! And when people insult the percussion, I get very defensive. Dammit, you have no right to say we suck if you have never tried playing percussion. But I have every right to say they suck. They suck. I don't. Well, at least, not nearly as much. Let's just settle with saying the drummers suck. I play marimba. A geek is often not imagined as playing an instrument such as the drums, which is the second most common thing associated with the word "percussion" –the first is a blank stare– but when you say the word "marimba" –often simplified to "xylophone" for easier comprehension– my geekiness is reasserted. And even in fics here, in the few band fics there are, if percussion is mentioned, it's usually the drums. Okay, maybe a lot of instruments are ignored, but I'm not going to stand for the slight of marimbas anymore! Did I just horribly mutilate the English language there? Here's a badly written fic dedicated to marimbas! And I kknow they're really called marimba "mallets". But "mallets" just doesn't have the same ring as "sticks"... Well, "sticks" just sounds better...Oh yeah, and the idea for this fic came from my band class... Eighth graders are really perverted... Yes, that means you, Meghan...

No one had ever imagined that Uzumaki Naruto would choose the clarinet when he was forced to join the school band by his teacher and guardian, Iruka.

He chose the trumpet.

"What? Did you really expect me to choose something stupid like... I dunno, the clarinet?" Iruka shook his head. He played the clarinet.

Konoha High School's band was nationally recognized. Their talent was mainly due their percussion ensemble. And the success of their percussion ensemble was manly due to one Uchiha Sasuke, a skilled percussionist in every aspect of the word. He was of the rare breed of percussionist that actually knew how to play mallet instruments. He knew how to tune timpani drums. And he had the added bonus of looking unbelievably hot while behind a drum set. But his specialty was the marimba. One mallet, two, three or even four... They all hit the wooden keys in the perfect spot at the exact time. Sasuke had a habit of closing his eyes and leaning over the instrument as his hands flowed over the keys, an exquisite melody gracing undeserving ears.

He was just that damn good.

The marimba and the trumpet was an awkward combination. But with Naruto's energy and Sasuke's talent, the pairing became one of the most popular duets. Despite the harmony of their instruments, they had trouble being the same room with each other if an instrument was not involved.

In fact, Naruto hated Sasuke. Really. He absolutely loathed the bastard. Dammit, why did no one ever believe him? Even the bastard himself just smirked knowingly. Stupid bastard... Acting like such a bastard...

But such thoughts were absent in his rather one track mind as he sat goofing off with his best friend, Kiba, who played the French horn. It was then when –

"Aw shit," Naruto grumbled. The middle valve on his way too expensive trumpet wouldn't release. This was at least the third time it had happened, and all the times before he had had to go to his more than slightly scary band –well, Kakashi preferred the term "mentor" over "teacher." Waving a dejected farewell to Kiba, he began the journey to Kakashi's office.

When he reached the only occupied room in the school's only abandoned wing, Naruto was panting slightly. Damn Kakashi and his freakish need for pointless privacy.

"So, what do you think of the new arrivals?"

"Well, they're certainly harder than the last bunch."

"Really now."

That just took the bloody proverbial cake. He walked all the way over here. And Kakashi was busy. Talking to the bastard, nonetheless. Life must really enjoy screwing with him.

"Yeah, the heads are heavier too. And the shafts are much smoother."

"All in all, are the new ones better than the old ones?"

"I'm not done yet," the bastard said testily.

"Sorry, sorry."

"As I was saying. Personally, I prefer the uneven weights of the old pairs. And those heads were bigger, but not as heavy. And they were more comfortable in my hands. Slightly rough and warm."

"Hmmm."

"But the new batch for the drums are much better than the old ones. The old ones had a carved shaft, and they hurt when they slide in your hand. And they were uncomfortably slender. Shafts aren't supposed to be that small and skinny. They are a shame to sticks across the globe."

He hated Sasuke. HATED. No attraction. Hate. Hate, goddammit! Sasuke was talking about drumsticks and marimba mallets... not other stuff... HatehatehatehatehotHATE

But the conversation continued, heedless of Naruto's discomfiture.

"The new ones are so much better. They are much thicker and smooth. The flared end makes it easier to grip, less likely to slide in a sweaty hand. And the head..."

"What about the head?"

"It's so big! And so soft! I love rolling it in my hand."

"Yeah, I've heard similar comments."

"From who? Those heads are mine."

"Possessive much?"

"Shut up, Kakashi."

"So the new ones are better?"

"Yeah, but the heads look bloody with the red. I like the old skin tone colors better."

"So the old ones are better?"

"No! Didn't you hear me wax poetic about the harder shafts and unbelievable heads?"

"I'm confused. You said the older ones felt better when you gripped them. And then you said the new one had the best heads."

"Yes."

"And I'm still confused."

"They're fun to play with."

"Ah."

The lull in the conversation hit the hyperventilating blonde belatedly.

So, what did hate imply again?

Because the last time he checked, it didn't involve standing outside a classroom, frozen with your mouth gaping.

But intellect was never Naruto's strong point.

Kakashi coughed pointedly.

Just because he could recognize Sasuke by his coughs did not make Naruto obsessed!

"Will do," replied Sasuke smugly. Naruto saw a denim covered leg step out of the door, a body following close behind, complete with a smirking face.

"It's dangerous to look so cute, dobe. Some bad, bad person might be tempted to molest you." Oh, dearie me. What happened to personal space? Naruto was feeling distinctly flustered. "Like me."

Like who? Like... Sasuke? That train of thought abruptly pulled to a screeching halt when Sasuke dropped a quick, chaste kiss on parted lips.

Kissing was apparently a new, and very pleasurable, method of expressing hatred.

"See you later, dobe."

And Sasuke walked away, smirking slightly. He always knew there was more than one reason why he loved marimba sticks.

Well, that's that. The ending seemed kinda flat. A sequel is possible if this garners a positive response. So, if you think thi deserves a review, please do so. But I hope this brought at least some attention to my instrument, which I have been forsaking. And I'd like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my fics, whether you liked them or not. It really means a lot to me. And to the amazing people who have reviewed, I am not deserving of your kindness, really. Thank you so much! I've been going around school, grinning madly. And I don't do grins. I hope I haven't given too many people heart attacks. But honestly, you people rock my socks!

flib forever