Note: This is a jointfic by me, Randa and Rashida.
"Behind Closed Doors"
by,
Bunny, Randa & Rashida
HALLOWEEN MORNING
The Forman Kitchen: Kitty is cooking breakfast and Red is sitting at
the table reading the newspaper. There is no sign of Laurie or Eric.
Kitty places the bacon and eggs on the table and goes to push open the
swinging kitchen door.
KITTY: Laurie, Eric, Steven! Breakfast is ready! (she turns to go to
the table and pour the orange juice, when she notices Red looking at her
strangely) I did it again didn't I? (a look of sadness comes over her
face) I just keep thinking that he's still living here.
RED: Kitty, it's natural to miss Steven. (clears his throat). Not
that I do. I'm just saying. (Kitty smiles at him knowingly)
The kids come barging in through the swinging door. Laurie flounces
over to sit by Red, while Eric follows giving her dirty looks.
LAURIE: Daddy! Eric called me a slut!
RED: Eric, is this true?
ERIC:(deadpan) Um, yeah. You always told me to be honest, so...
RED: Look, smart ass! I want you to respect your sister.
ERIC: Why should I respect her when she doesn't respect me? (off Red's
glare) I'm just saying.
KITTY: (getting the urge to smooth things over) Okay!
Haahhaahha...let's just try to get through breakfast without any spilt
blood, all right? (sits down) So, Eric, what are your plans for
tonight? Any trick-or-treating?
ERIC: (looking at her in horror) Mom, I'm seventeen years old. I'm
too old to trick-or-treat.
LAURIE: I don't see why you can't. You still look like a skinny,
little dork! (laughs)
ERIC: (putting his fingers up in a cross shape) Burn in hell, witch!
Suddenly the basement door opens and Steven Hyde walks in yawning and
idly scratching his stomach. Kitty, Red and Laurie stare at him, while
Eric grins.
ERIC: Guess who spent the night?
KITTY: (jumps up and gives Hyde a huge hug) Steven, what a nice
surprise! We've missed you so much, sweetie. How are things going with
Bud?
HYDE: (pauses) They're going, Mrs. F.
RED: (Gruffly) It's nice to see you, Steven.
LAURIE: No, it's really not.
ERIC: Shut up, psycho slut. (Laurie gasps and looks at Red for
support)
RED: That's enough, Eric! Now apologize to your sister.
ERIC: (pretending to think about it) I'm going to have to go
with...no. (Red glares at him)
KITTY: Hahaaahaa! (looks at Hyde apologetically) Now aren't you glad
you came to visit?
ROLL OPENING CREDITS
MID-AFTERNOON
Forman Basement: Eric, Hyde, Jackie, Donna and Fez are hanging out.
Hyde is in his chair ignoring Jackie. Jackie is sitting on the end of
the couch closest to him and staring. Fez sits besides Jackie and Donna
has the other end of the couch. Eric sits on the chair opposite Hyde.
They all look bored. Kelso suddenly comes barging in with something in
his hands.
KELSO: (excited) Guys! I've figured out what we can do for Halloween!
HYDE: We've already ruled out trick-or-treating, Kelso.
Kelso looks genuinely disappointed. Then he looks defiantly at Hyde.
KELSO: Well...who said I was talking about trick-or-treating?
DONNA: The treat bags you have in your hands are a good guess. (she
and Jackie share a look and giggle)
KELSO: (quickly tosses the treat bags in the corner) I just found those
outside your house, Eric, and decided I would do you a favor and bring
them in. Jeez! You guys are SO paranoid!
ERIC: Gee, thanks Kelso. I don't know what I would have done if you
hadn't brought in those bags. Now my life is complete. (Donna laughs
and playfully hits his arm)
FEZ: I really wanted to go trick-or-treating tonight, but last
Halloween that costume really chafed my special parts. I do not think
my parts like being confined in tights.
DONNA: Too much information, Fez.
FEZ: Jackie? What do you think?
JACKIE: (looking at Hyde) About what?
FEZ: About my special parts. (wiggles his eyebrows suggestively) You
and me could get together tonight and--
JACKIE: Ewww! I don't think so, Fez. Besides...Steven and I have
plans. (she strokes Hyde's arm gently until he shrugs her off) Right,
Steven?
HYDE: In your dreams, Jackie.
JACKIE: (to everyone else) See? He loves me!
Hyde sighs wearily and Donna stands up and kisses Eric's cheek. Then
she motions to the brunette girl.
DONNA: Jackie, we need to talk. (to the guys) Figure out something for
us to do tonight. There's no way I'm staying in on Halloween.
As Jackie leaves with Donna, Kelso takes her place on the couch.
KELSO: Man! I'm glad they finally left. Now we can discuss what we
are going to do tonight.
ERIC: (confused look) Kelso, man, we are *all* going to do something
together tonight.
Donna and Jackie are hanging out in the Foremen's kitchen. Donna is straddling a chair at the table and Jackie is perched on top of the counter.
Donna: Jackie, you've got to get this through your head. Hyde is not in love with you. He doesn't even like you.
Jackie: Don't be ridiculous, Donna. Steven Hyde is madly in love with me. He just doesn't know it yet.
Donna: You see, that's where you're wrong, Jackie. Hyde is not going to just wake up one day and magically decide that he is crazy about you.
Jackie: Duh! I know that Donna. That is why I've decided that I am going to have to go a few steps farther to get him to stop fighting his feelings for me.
Donna is starting to look very worried.
Donna: What do you mean?
Jackie: Okay, I've got it all planned out. I'm going to go home, put on this really cute outfit that I bought at the Mall last Saturday, and then I'm going to come back here and spend the rest of the night seducing him!
At this point Donna starts to look very worried.
Donna: Okay Jackie, you're my friend and everything, but... Are you out of you're mind! That is the stupidest idea that I have ever heard.
Jackie gets that patented pout on her face.
Jackie: Okay Donna! Since you are so smart, why don't YOU come up with a plan.
Donna: Fine!
Donna is silent for several moments, trying to think of something. Jackie begins to look bored and starts kicking her feet against the counter.
Donna: I can't think of anything.
Jackie looks smug.
Donna: Much as I hate to say it, I think it is time to call in the big guns.
Jackie looks outraged.
Jackie: Okay, I am NOT stuffing my---
Donna rolls her eyes and interrupts.
Donna: Jackie, that isn't what I meant! I mean that we need to get some help from someone who is experienced with this sort of thing.
Jackie lights up like a Christmas Tree.
Jackie: Omigosh!!! That's a great idea! But who?
Donna: Well, who do we know that can and has used every low, underhanded trick in the book to get her man?
Jackie starts to look a little green.
Jackie: You couldn't possibly mean... Because you know that I would never ask her for anything.
Donna: That's right. Laurie.
Jackie: No! Okay, no! After what she did---
Donna: Jackie, you have to ask yourself this: Just exactly how far are you willing to go to get Hyde?
Jackie is still looking a bit pale, but she puts a brave face on.
Jackie: As far as it takes.
Eric waited impatiently in the Foreman kitchen for everyone to arrive. So far, only his girlfriend Donna was there... They had all decided to go to a Halloween bash at some river-house, and were supposed to dress up in costumes. Donna and Eric had dressed up as each-other; Eric wearing Donna's blue dress, a red wig, make up and falsies, and Donna wearing Eric's "Foreman" baseball jersey, a pair of jeans, and her long hair tucked under a green cap.
Finally, Fez showed up, dressed as Mickey Mouse...
Eric: (snickering)Where's Goofy, or should we ask?
Before Fez could issue a retort, Hyde showed up, wearing the same thing he had worn earlier; jeans, a black Grateful Dead T-shirt, and a denim jacket.
Donna: (curiously)Why aren't you wearing a costume, Hyde?
Hyde: I don't do costumes, okay? I'm rebelling against the whole costume conspiracy...
Donna: (rolling her eyes)Hyde, everything is not a conspiracy...
Hyde: (shifts his eyes a bit)That's what they want you to think...
Before Donna could ask who exactly "they" were, Kelso showed up, his hair all slicked into swirls, wearing tight-jeans and the leather-jacket they'd once all teased him about.
Hyde: (laughing)Hey, if it ain't rebel without a clue!
Kelso: (huffy)Yeah, well... laugh all you want, but Jackie has a Fonzie fixation, and... this will turn her on!
Hyde: Uh, dude, that's just... sad...
Fez: (nodding)Yes, Kelso... so sad...
Eric: Pretty pathetic...
Donna: Beyond...
Kelso: (hands on hips)Oh, yeah? Well... oh! I am telling you, Jackie's gonna be all over me...
Hyde: Whatever, but... Aren't you forgetting about your date?
Kelso: (thinks a minute)Oh, yeah, Laurie... Well, yeah, Laurie's great for a good time and all... and do I mean a good time... but, Jackie is more the type to get serious with...
Eric looks at him with a mixed expression of disgust and annoyance, which only deepens as he starts drooling over Laurie who comes down the stairs about this time in her micro-mini She-Devil costume, closely followed by Red and Kitty...
Eric: (pointing at Laurie triumphantly)I knew it!
Red: Eric, what have I said about calling your sister the devil?
Eric: That... it's offensive to the devil?
Red rolled his eyes and was about to speak, but Kitty cut him off and dragged him in the next room, whispering something about trick-or-treaters...
When Jackie came in and took off her coat, revealing the form-fitting Wonder Woman costume, the room was all dead-boggled silence; so quiet you could almost hear thoughts...
Jackie: (thinking)Oh, I look so cute! Steven just has to notice me! I can feel him looking at me... Look at me!
Hyde: (thinking)Damn, what's she tryin' to do to me?! God, she looks beautiful... Eh, why bother? Out of my league, and not interested... right?
Laurie: (thinking)Yup, I do good work! Now, if little miss hyper can just keep it cool maybe this can work, and maybe she can even keep Kelso distracted while I troll for hotties...
Fez: (thinking)Holy mother! Jackie looks... hot! Okay, Fez... tonight is your night... Don't screw up like last time! If Batman and the Riddler come back to visit you, listen to the Riddler; he's more of a fun guy...
Eric: (thinking)Wow... I know I shouldn't be looking at other women, especially Jackie since she's Donna's best-friend, but... Wow! God, Kelso's a moron... Wow, I never noticed the curve of her---
Donna: (backhands Eric in the gut)Eyes in your head, Eric!
Eric immediately straightened up and gazed innocently at his girlfriend.
Eric: Uh...What? What's wrong, honey?
Donna just glared at him.
Donna: You know damn well what I'm talking about!
As Eric tried to placate Donna, Jackie strolled up to Hyde and smiled
seductively at him. Then she batted her eyelashes.
Jackie: Hi, Steven. Do you like my costume?
Hyde: No.
Jackie: (hurt) Not even a little bit?
Hyde: Nope. Uh, is something wrong with your eyes? They keep
twitching.
Fez: I love your costume, Jackie. It shows off your sexy curves, hot
mama!
Kelso walks up to Jackie and strikes a rebellious pose.
Kelso: Do you like *my* costume, Jackie?
Jackie, who is almost in tears at Hyde's indifference to her, doesn't
answer. Donna walks up quickly to the shorter girl and shoots a nasty
look at Hyde.
Donna: Come on guys, let's get going.
The gang moves towards Eric's Vista Cruiser when a bunch of
trick-or-treaters walk up the driveway towards them. One of the little
boys has curly hair and glasses. He is not wearing a costume like his
friends and looks just like a miniature Hyde. He and Hyde stare at each
other and Hyde nods in approval.
Hyde: Neat get-up kid.
Kid: You too.
The children look at Kelso and laugh hysterically.
Kid: You look like a dork, man!
Still laughing, the kids head towards Kitty and her huge bowl of treats.
Kelso stares after them outraged.
Kelso: Oh yeah?! Well...you SUCK!
Donna: (clapping) Great comeback, Kelso.
Fez: (Not getting the sarcasm) I don't know, Donna, I think that was a
lame comeback. But what do I know? I'm just a mouse.
Kitty: (looks at the children) Now don't you all look darling! (To Eric
and the gang) You guys have fun!
Eric: Don't worry, Mom!
Kitty: And, be careful!
Donna: Don't worry, Mrs. Foreman. I'll take good care of him.
There wasn't enough room in the Vista Cruiser for all seven of them, so the girls all piled into Jackie's car and the boys into Eric's.
As soon as the door's to Jackie's car were safely closed, Laurie reached over and thwacked Jackie over the head.
Jackie: Ow! What was that for?
Laurie: Hello! Just what exactly did you think that you were doing?
Jackie: (rubbing her head) What do you mean?
Laurie: Duh! What do you think that I mean? Jackie, how do you ever expect to get a guy acting like that?
Jackie: I got Michael, didn't I?
Laurie: Kelso doesn't count! He'll go out with anyone, as long as he thinks that they will--
Laurie cuts off as Jackie and Donna both start smirking.
Laurie: (sniffs) Anyway, that is no way to get a guy to go out with you.
Donna: Okay, just what did she do wrong? I mean, she had the outfit, the makeup... Hell, she even used that idiotic smile that you taught her--
Laurie: Yes Donna, but her strategy was way off. First off, she spoke to him first. The girl should never make the first move. Guys thrive on challenge.
Much as the girls hate to admit it, Laurie is actually making sense.
Jackie: Okay, so what your saying is that I should ignore him?
Laurie: Finally, we are making some progress here! Yes, and not only should you ignore him, you should act like you hate him.
Jackie: But I don't.
Laurie: Duh! Of course you don't. But you have to act like you do.
Donna is starting to get fed up with Laurie's superior attitude.
Donna: Okay, I never had to use any of this stuff to get Eric.
Laurie: Of course you didn't. My little brother has wanted you since he was big enough to watch you undress through your upstairs window.
Donna gets one of those disgustingly lovesick grins on her face.
Donna: That's so sweet. And kind of creepy.
Jackie rolls her eyes. There is nothing more frustrating than a perfect relationship to someone who is about to burst with unrequited love.
Jackie: I don't know, Laurie. Are you sure about this stuff? I mean... What if it doesn't work?
Laurie: It'll work. How do you think I hooked Kelso?
Donna and Jackie look pointedly at the front of Laurie's shirt. Laurie smirks.
Laurie: Well... They helped.
Meanwhile in the Vista Cruiser. Eric is sitting in the drivers seat and Hyde is stretched out in the passenger seat, hands balled into fists as he tries to ignore Fez and Kelso who are in the back-seat talking about how hot Jackie looked decked out as Wonder Woman.
Eric decides to break the silence.
Eric: So this party's gonna be cool, huh?
Fez: No, it is going to be hot. I heard on the news today that this is the warmest Halloween since 1953.
Eric: Fez, I didn't mean... Never mind.
Kelso: Yeah, it's a hot night. Just like Jackie. Man, Jackie's so hot.
Fez: Yes, Jackie is very hot. I like the way her Halloween costume outlines her--
Hyde has had enough.
Hyde: Man, shut the hell up!
Eric: (in a singsong voice) Ooh, Hyde doesn't like Fez to talk about his little Jackie like that.
Hyde: Jackie isn't my little anything, Foreman! Why don't you just mind your own freaking business!
Eric throws up his hands in surrender, but quickly puts them back down as the car starts to swerve.
Eric: Whatever you say, man. But you know what I think?
Hyde: Shut up!
Eric: I think that Hyde doesn't want other guys to see his girl in her little Wonder Woman outfit.
Hyde: Are you deaf, Foreman!
Fez: If I had a woman like Jackie, I would not want her to show everyone else her costume. I would want her to save it especially for me.
Hyde is starting to get seriously pissed off.
Hyde: I told you, she isn't mine! And stop talking about her that way, man!
Eric: Okay... Okay... Conversation over. Let's hear some music.
He flips on the radio and music comes blaring from the speakers.
Fez: (whispered to Kelso) You know... When Jackie moved a certain way, I could see right down her--
He is cut off as Hyde nearly jumps over the seat and starts pummeling him.
~Flashback:
Hyde stalked into the Foreman kitchen where Kitty was preparing a fruit-salad, plagued by a mixture of annoyance and confusion. What was it that drew him to her? He couldn't be interested... right? But, what was it about her that drew out the protective instinct in him like no one else ever had before? He just couldn't understand it. He'd almost done hard time for her; and had a sinking feeling he would do it the same if he had it to do over again... As he was puzzling over this, Kitty broke into his thoughts...
Kitty: Oh, Steven, I saw what happened. Is your girlfriend okay?
Hyde: (incredulous)My girlfriend?
Kitty: Yeah... the bossy little mean one you're always hanging around with... Oh, uh... Jackie.
Hyde: She's not my girlfriend.
Kitty: Are ya sure?
Hyde: (annoyed)Yes, I'm sure! I don't like her... She's... shallow, and rich, and mean and bossy; she's all the things I hate.
Kitty: But Steven, you hate everything...
Hyde: What's that supposed to mean?
Kitty: (little smile)It means, that maybe you like her; 'cause, I kinda think you do...
Hyde: No! How could I like her? Because I don't like her! Because I can't like her! Mrs.
Foreman, if I like her, shoot me!
Kitty: (makes a little gun with her fingers)Pow!~
Hyde shook off the cobwebs of the memory as they stepped out of the car as the girls were. He used to goad Kelso and say Jackie had him whipped, but... she was starting to get him wrapped around her cute little finger...
Hyde: (thinking as he watched Jackie emerge from the car)Not a bad way to go, actually...
Donna looked at the boys and shook her head. Eric was wearing a smirk and trying not to laugh, Fez looked all disheveled, Kelso looked pouty, and Hyde looked pissed...
Donna: (whispering to Eric)What's going on?
Eric: Um, you guys meet us inside?
Hyde: (looking at him warily)Why?
Eric: We'll be there, Hyde...
Hyde: (shrugs)Fine; don't know if I want to be seen with such a bad drag-queen anyways...
Eric rolled his eyes and got into the Vista Cruiser with Donna and shut the doors as the rest went into the party...
Eric: Okay, don't say anything?
Donna: Yeah, swear. (impatient)So, what happened to Fez? And, what was with Hyde and Kelso? Come on; what'd I miss???
Eric: Well...
Donna: Errrriiiicccc!!!
Eric: (laughs)Okay, okay... Um, well, Hyde got all pissy because Kelso and Fez were talkin' about how hot Jackie is, and Fez got him mad enough he jumped over the seat and started whaling' on him...
Donna: (wide eyes)You're kidding...
Eric: Nup; he's head over feet man...
When they got into the party, everything was jumpin'. Music blaring, place was packed...
Hyde: Jackie, can I talk to you?
Jackie opened her mouth as if to speak, but stopped herself when Laurie shot her a warning glance and cleared her throat loudly. Taking a deep breath as if to steel herself, she shot Hyde an annoyed look.
Jackie: No; I am here to have fun, so... I'm going trolling!
Furtively she looked to Laurie for approval, who gave her a reassuring smile and tilted her head to indicate her going off into the crowd...
Hyde stared after Jackie for a moment as she walked away; shocked at her
sudden change of attitude. Quickly coming to his senses, he strode
after her and gently grabbed her arm.
Hyde: What's up with you?
Jackie: Let go of me, Steven. (he drops her arm) Nothing is wrong with
me. I'm here to have fun, and fun is what I'm going to damn well have!
Is that okay with you?
Hyde: (hurt) Fine! Go do whatever it is that you want. I don't give a
damn.
He stalks off into the crowd, and this time Jackie is the one left
standing there. Her tiny frame slumps; dejected. Laurie pops up beside
her; grinning triumphantly.
Laurie: Well, well, Jackie. You aren't a complete loser after all.
You're doing great, girlfriend! You'll have Steven begging on his knees
in no time!
Jackie: (hesitant) Um, about that, Laurie... I don't think this plan
is going to work.
Laurie: (annoyed) And why not?
Jackie: Because Steven isn't like other guys, Laurie! He's not one of
your stupid, dumb jock admirers. He doesn't play mind games...
Laurie rolls her eyes and gives the ceiling a 'why me' expression. Then
she grabs Jackie by the shoulders and shakes her.
Laurie: Trust me on this, Jackie. Steven is going to be putty in your
hands by the end of this party. It doesn't matter that he's a different
type of guy because, in the end, that's what he is. A GUY, Jackie. All
men are alike deep down. They all get jealous and possessive and...
Jackie: All right! All right! I'll stick to the plan. Jeez!
Anything to shut you up.
Laurie smirks at her and slinks off into the crowd. Kelso saunters up
to the dark haired pixie with a glass in his hand.
Kelso: (offering the drink) Beer?
Jackie: No thanks.
Kelso: Hey, you okay? What's wrong?
Jackie: Nothing, it's just...Have you ever done something that you're
not proud of, Michael? Something that you regret? And you know that
while you're doing it...that it's wrong....but you can't stop?
Kelso grows sad as he remembers how he cheated on Jackie.
Kelso: Yeah, I think I can relate. (notices her staring at Hyde across
the room. Kelso is visibly crushed.) You really like him, don't you?
Jackie: (trying to stick to the plan) No! No, I don't like him at
all. (starts tearing up) I hate him!
Kelso: Jackie...
He reaches out to comfort her, but she races into the crowd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Outside, the windows of the Vista Cruiser are completely fogged up.
Inside, Donna as Eric and Eric as Donna are heavily making out.
Donna: (panting and staring at Eric's long, red wig) This has got to be
the weirdest make-out session in the history of the world.
Eric: I can't argue with that.
They continue to kiss and Donna's cap falls off, causing her long, red
hair to tumble down. Neither of them notice as they continue to explore
each other's mouths.
Donna: Eric...Eric we should go inside now. The others must be
wondering what happened to us.
Eric: (kissing her throat) I doubt that. I'm sure Jackie is still
trying to get Steven and he's still trying to ignore her. Fez and Kelso
are probably still pouting and Laurie has probably slept with at least
two guys by now.
Donna strokes the back of Eric's neck.
Donna: (giggles) That tickles, Eric.
Eric: Good. Revel in my power over you, Pinciotti.
Donna: Oh yeah?
She flips them and accidentally kicks the door handle, causing the door
to open and both of them to fall onto the pavement. A group of guys
standing outside the building start whooping and hollering.
1st guy: Oh, my gosh! It's two GIRLS! And look how they fogged up
those windows, man!
2nd guy: Redheads are freaking HOT, man.
Eric and Donna stand up, blushing like crazy and trying to gather some of their scattered dignity. They make their way into the party, straightening their costumes as they go.
Donna: Eric, you've got lipstick all over you're face.
Eric: Don't worry, it matches the costume.
Donna: (slugs him in the arm) wise ass.
They look at each other and burst out laughing.
Donna: Did you see the look on their faces when you're wig fell off?
Eric: Hey, there's Hyde.
Donna: He looks pissed.
Eric: And this is unusual how?
Laurie comes up to them, a good looking guy on each arm.
Laurie: Hey little brother. Did you hear about the two red headed chicks going at it in the parking lot?
Eric: You wouldn't believe us if we told you.
Donna: Have you seen Jackie around?
Laurie: Oh, she's around here somewhere... Last time I saw her, she was trolling for hotties.
Donna: WHAT?!
Eric: Jeez, I knew she was lonely but I never figured she was the type--
Donna interrupts him, panic written all over her face.
Donna: She's not. Laurie, what did you do?
Laurie: I didn't do anything. God, why am I always accused of everything?
Donna: Well then what happened? Jackie would never go trolling on her own. Not without me with her. What if somebody slips something in her drink?
Laurie: Look, I'll tell you everything that I saw, but I'm telling you, you're freaking out for no reason. Okay, I saw Hyde come up and tell her that he wanted to talk to her. She turned him down, just like I told her to, and went out into the crowd. I haven't seen her since.
Donna: I knew that this was a bad idea...
Laurie: Oh, come on! It'll do the girl good to get lucky. Maybe she'll stop following that loser around like a little lost puppy.
Eric: Okay, I don't know what you guys are talking about, but I do know that we'd better find Jackie before she does something stupid.
Donna: Tell me about it. What if she's drinking? God Eric, you know how she gets when she drinks! One little beer, and she's totally wasted!
Eric and Donna walk away quickly, scanning the crowds for Jackie's dark head as they go.
Donna: How hard can it be to find her? Look at what she was wearing!
Eric: What's going on, Donna? Why were you so chummy with my sister?
Donna: I'll explain as we go. But whatever you do, PLEASE don't tell Hyde. Jackie would never forgive me.
Eric sighed, aggravated. Donna had told him the entire tale while they searched for Jackie, but they had still come up empty.
Eric: (incredulous)Okay, um... why would you trust Laurie??? I keep tellin' ya, she's evil...
Donna: (biting her lip)Yah, I know, but... well, we didn't know what else to do... (sighs heavily)I didn't think anything could happen, or I never would have suggested it...
A look of guilt is flooding her features.
Eric: Be that as it may... (sighs, cutting himself off as he sees how truly upset she is)Okay, okay, let's go round up the rest of the guys and give 'em a heads up---
Donna: No! We can't tell what's going on; Jackie will be mad.
Eric: Better mad than hurt... (bites his lip)Okay, let's just go find them and tell them we're worried she's missing, then? Donna, 6 pairs of eyes are better than 2...
Donna: You're right, Eric... Okay, but they can't know the whole story, remember that...
Eric: Right...
By the time Eric and Donna located Hyde, Kelso and Fez were sitting with him. Unfortunately, Jackie was still nowhere to be seen...
Donna: (quickly, nearing hysterics)We hafta find Jackie! Now!
Kelso: (concernedly)Why? Something happen?
Donna: I don't know; that's the trouble! She's... alone, and... I have a feeling... Look, Jackie cannot be by herself in a situation like this; she needs one of us there to look out for her. You know that...
Kelso: Well, she was kind of upset when I saw her... I tried to give her a beer and comfort her, but---
Donna: (shakes him)You tried to get her drunk???
Kelso: (removes her hands gently)Geez, Donna, relax! She didn't take it! (glares at Hyde)Somebody upset her...
Hyde: (arms folded, glares back at Kelso)I hope you are not referring to me, because I will not hesitate to---
Eric: Hyde! Now is not the time...
Suddenly Laurie walks up, shockingly alone.
Laurie: (casual)Oh, hey, I saw Jackie, Donna...
Donna: (looks at her in shock and annoyance)Why didn't you bring her to us?
Laurie: (shrugs)She seemed kinda busy...
Hyde: (frowns slightly)Busy how?
Laurie: She looked kind of out of it... (nods)Yeah, I think she was high or something...
"Behind Closed Doors"
by,
Bunny, Randa & Rashida
HALLOWEEN MORNING
The Forman Kitchen: Kitty is cooking breakfast and Red is sitting at
the table reading the newspaper. There is no sign of Laurie or Eric.
Kitty places the bacon and eggs on the table and goes to push open the
swinging kitchen door.
KITTY: Laurie, Eric, Steven! Breakfast is ready! (she turns to go to
the table and pour the orange juice, when she notices Red looking at her
strangely) I did it again didn't I? (a look of sadness comes over her
face) I just keep thinking that he's still living here.
RED: Kitty, it's natural to miss Steven. (clears his throat). Not
that I do. I'm just saying. (Kitty smiles at him knowingly)
The kids come barging in through the swinging door. Laurie flounces
over to sit by Red, while Eric follows giving her dirty looks.
LAURIE: Daddy! Eric called me a slut!
RED: Eric, is this true?
ERIC:(deadpan) Um, yeah. You always told me to be honest, so...
RED: Look, smart ass! I want you to respect your sister.
ERIC: Why should I respect her when she doesn't respect me? (off Red's
glare) I'm just saying.
KITTY: (getting the urge to smooth things over) Okay!
Haahhaahha...let's just try to get through breakfast without any spilt
blood, all right? (sits down) So, Eric, what are your plans for
tonight? Any trick-or-treating?
ERIC: (looking at her in horror) Mom, I'm seventeen years old. I'm
too old to trick-or-treat.
LAURIE: I don't see why you can't. You still look like a skinny,
little dork! (laughs)
ERIC: (putting his fingers up in a cross shape) Burn in hell, witch!
Suddenly the basement door opens and Steven Hyde walks in yawning and
idly scratching his stomach. Kitty, Red and Laurie stare at him, while
Eric grins.
ERIC: Guess who spent the night?
KITTY: (jumps up and gives Hyde a huge hug) Steven, what a nice
surprise! We've missed you so much, sweetie. How are things going with
Bud?
HYDE: (pauses) They're going, Mrs. F.
RED: (Gruffly) It's nice to see you, Steven.
LAURIE: No, it's really not.
ERIC: Shut up, psycho slut. (Laurie gasps and looks at Red for
support)
RED: That's enough, Eric! Now apologize to your sister.
ERIC: (pretending to think about it) I'm going to have to go
with...no. (Red glares at him)
KITTY: Hahaaahaa! (looks at Hyde apologetically) Now aren't you glad
you came to visit?
ROLL OPENING CREDITS
MID-AFTERNOON
Forman Basement: Eric, Hyde, Jackie, Donna and Fez are hanging out.
Hyde is in his chair ignoring Jackie. Jackie is sitting on the end of
the couch closest to him and staring. Fez sits besides Jackie and Donna
has the other end of the couch. Eric sits on the chair opposite Hyde.
They all look bored. Kelso suddenly comes barging in with something in
his hands.
KELSO: (excited) Guys! I've figured out what we can do for Halloween!
HYDE: We've already ruled out trick-or-treating, Kelso.
Kelso looks genuinely disappointed. Then he looks defiantly at Hyde.
KELSO: Well...who said I was talking about trick-or-treating?
DONNA: The treat bags you have in your hands are a good guess. (she
and Jackie share a look and giggle)
KELSO: (quickly tosses the treat bags in the corner) I just found those
outside your house, Eric, and decided I would do you a favor and bring
them in. Jeez! You guys are SO paranoid!
ERIC: Gee, thanks Kelso. I don't know what I would have done if you
hadn't brought in those bags. Now my life is complete. (Donna laughs
and playfully hits his arm)
FEZ: I really wanted to go trick-or-treating tonight, but last
Halloween that costume really chafed my special parts. I do not think
my parts like being confined in tights.
DONNA: Too much information, Fez.
FEZ: Jackie? What do you think?
JACKIE: (looking at Hyde) About what?
FEZ: About my special parts. (wiggles his eyebrows suggestively) You
and me could get together tonight and--
JACKIE: Ewww! I don't think so, Fez. Besides...Steven and I have
plans. (she strokes Hyde's arm gently until he shrugs her off) Right,
Steven?
HYDE: In your dreams, Jackie.
JACKIE: (to everyone else) See? He loves me!
Hyde sighs wearily and Donna stands up and kisses Eric's cheek. Then
she motions to the brunette girl.
DONNA: Jackie, we need to talk. (to the guys) Figure out something for
us to do tonight. There's no way I'm staying in on Halloween.
As Jackie leaves with Donna, Kelso takes her place on the couch.
KELSO: Man! I'm glad they finally left. Now we can discuss what we
are going to do tonight.
ERIC: (confused look) Kelso, man, we are *all* going to do something
together tonight.
Donna and Jackie are hanging out in the Foremen's kitchen. Donna is straddling a chair at the table and Jackie is perched on top of the counter.
Donna: Jackie, you've got to get this through your head. Hyde is not in love with you. He doesn't even like you.
Jackie: Don't be ridiculous, Donna. Steven Hyde is madly in love with me. He just doesn't know it yet.
Donna: You see, that's where you're wrong, Jackie. Hyde is not going to just wake up one day and magically decide that he is crazy about you.
Jackie: Duh! I know that Donna. That is why I've decided that I am going to have to go a few steps farther to get him to stop fighting his feelings for me.
Donna is starting to look very worried.
Donna: What do you mean?
Jackie: Okay, I've got it all planned out. I'm going to go home, put on this really cute outfit that I bought at the Mall last Saturday, and then I'm going to come back here and spend the rest of the night seducing him!
At this point Donna starts to look very worried.
Donna: Okay Jackie, you're my friend and everything, but... Are you out of you're mind! That is the stupidest idea that I have ever heard.
Jackie gets that patented pout on her face.
Jackie: Okay Donna! Since you are so smart, why don't YOU come up with a plan.
Donna: Fine!
Donna is silent for several moments, trying to think of something. Jackie begins to look bored and starts kicking her feet against the counter.
Donna: I can't think of anything.
Jackie looks smug.
Donna: Much as I hate to say it, I think it is time to call in the big guns.
Jackie looks outraged.
Jackie: Okay, I am NOT stuffing my---
Donna rolls her eyes and interrupts.
Donna: Jackie, that isn't what I meant! I mean that we need to get some help from someone who is experienced with this sort of thing.
Jackie lights up like a Christmas Tree.
Jackie: Omigosh!!! That's a great idea! But who?
Donna: Well, who do we know that can and has used every low, underhanded trick in the book to get her man?
Jackie starts to look a little green.
Jackie: You couldn't possibly mean... Because you know that I would never ask her for anything.
Donna: That's right. Laurie.
Jackie: No! Okay, no! After what she did---
Donna: Jackie, you have to ask yourself this: Just exactly how far are you willing to go to get Hyde?
Jackie is still looking a bit pale, but she puts a brave face on.
Jackie: As far as it takes.
Eric waited impatiently in the Foreman kitchen for everyone to arrive. So far, only his girlfriend Donna was there... They had all decided to go to a Halloween bash at some river-house, and were supposed to dress up in costumes. Donna and Eric had dressed up as each-other; Eric wearing Donna's blue dress, a red wig, make up and falsies, and Donna wearing Eric's "Foreman" baseball jersey, a pair of jeans, and her long hair tucked under a green cap.
Finally, Fez showed up, dressed as Mickey Mouse...
Eric: (snickering)Where's Goofy, or should we ask?
Before Fez could issue a retort, Hyde showed up, wearing the same thing he had worn earlier; jeans, a black Grateful Dead T-shirt, and a denim jacket.
Donna: (curiously)Why aren't you wearing a costume, Hyde?
Hyde: I don't do costumes, okay? I'm rebelling against the whole costume conspiracy...
Donna: (rolling her eyes)Hyde, everything is not a conspiracy...
Hyde: (shifts his eyes a bit)That's what they want you to think...
Before Donna could ask who exactly "they" were, Kelso showed up, his hair all slicked into swirls, wearing tight-jeans and the leather-jacket they'd once all teased him about.
Hyde: (laughing)Hey, if it ain't rebel without a clue!
Kelso: (huffy)Yeah, well... laugh all you want, but Jackie has a Fonzie fixation, and... this will turn her on!
Hyde: Uh, dude, that's just... sad...
Fez: (nodding)Yes, Kelso... so sad...
Eric: Pretty pathetic...
Donna: Beyond...
Kelso: (hands on hips)Oh, yeah? Well... oh! I am telling you, Jackie's gonna be all over me...
Hyde: Whatever, but... Aren't you forgetting about your date?
Kelso: (thinks a minute)Oh, yeah, Laurie... Well, yeah, Laurie's great for a good time and all... and do I mean a good time... but, Jackie is more the type to get serious with...
Eric looks at him with a mixed expression of disgust and annoyance, which only deepens as he starts drooling over Laurie who comes down the stairs about this time in her micro-mini She-Devil costume, closely followed by Red and Kitty...
Eric: (pointing at Laurie triumphantly)I knew it!
Red: Eric, what have I said about calling your sister the devil?
Eric: That... it's offensive to the devil?
Red rolled his eyes and was about to speak, but Kitty cut him off and dragged him in the next room, whispering something about trick-or-treaters...
When Jackie came in and took off her coat, revealing the form-fitting Wonder Woman costume, the room was all dead-boggled silence; so quiet you could almost hear thoughts...
Jackie: (thinking)Oh, I look so cute! Steven just has to notice me! I can feel him looking at me... Look at me!
Hyde: (thinking)Damn, what's she tryin' to do to me?! God, she looks beautiful... Eh, why bother? Out of my league, and not interested... right?
Laurie: (thinking)Yup, I do good work! Now, if little miss hyper can just keep it cool maybe this can work, and maybe she can even keep Kelso distracted while I troll for hotties...
Fez: (thinking)Holy mother! Jackie looks... hot! Okay, Fez... tonight is your night... Don't screw up like last time! If Batman and the Riddler come back to visit you, listen to the Riddler; he's more of a fun guy...
Eric: (thinking)Wow... I know I shouldn't be looking at other women, especially Jackie since she's Donna's best-friend, but... Wow! God, Kelso's a moron... Wow, I never noticed the curve of her---
Donna: (backhands Eric in the gut)Eyes in your head, Eric!
Eric immediately straightened up and gazed innocently at his girlfriend.
Eric: Uh...What? What's wrong, honey?
Donna just glared at him.
Donna: You know damn well what I'm talking about!
As Eric tried to placate Donna, Jackie strolled up to Hyde and smiled
seductively at him. Then she batted her eyelashes.
Jackie: Hi, Steven. Do you like my costume?
Hyde: No.
Jackie: (hurt) Not even a little bit?
Hyde: Nope. Uh, is something wrong with your eyes? They keep
twitching.
Fez: I love your costume, Jackie. It shows off your sexy curves, hot
mama!
Kelso walks up to Jackie and strikes a rebellious pose.
Kelso: Do you like *my* costume, Jackie?
Jackie, who is almost in tears at Hyde's indifference to her, doesn't
answer. Donna walks up quickly to the shorter girl and shoots a nasty
look at Hyde.
Donna: Come on guys, let's get going.
The gang moves towards Eric's Vista Cruiser when a bunch of
trick-or-treaters walk up the driveway towards them. One of the little
boys has curly hair and glasses. He is not wearing a costume like his
friends and looks just like a miniature Hyde. He and Hyde stare at each
other and Hyde nods in approval.
Hyde: Neat get-up kid.
Kid: You too.
The children look at Kelso and laugh hysterically.
Kid: You look like a dork, man!
Still laughing, the kids head towards Kitty and her huge bowl of treats.
Kelso stares after them outraged.
Kelso: Oh yeah?! Well...you SUCK!
Donna: (clapping) Great comeback, Kelso.
Fez: (Not getting the sarcasm) I don't know, Donna, I think that was a
lame comeback. But what do I know? I'm just a mouse.
Kitty: (looks at the children) Now don't you all look darling! (To Eric
and the gang) You guys have fun!
Eric: Don't worry, Mom!
Kitty: And, be careful!
Donna: Don't worry, Mrs. Foreman. I'll take good care of him.
There wasn't enough room in the Vista Cruiser for all seven of them, so the girls all piled into Jackie's car and the boys into Eric's.
As soon as the door's to Jackie's car were safely closed, Laurie reached over and thwacked Jackie over the head.
Jackie: Ow! What was that for?
Laurie: Hello! Just what exactly did you think that you were doing?
Jackie: (rubbing her head) What do you mean?
Laurie: Duh! What do you think that I mean? Jackie, how do you ever expect to get a guy acting like that?
Jackie: I got Michael, didn't I?
Laurie: Kelso doesn't count! He'll go out with anyone, as long as he thinks that they will--
Laurie cuts off as Jackie and Donna both start smirking.
Laurie: (sniffs) Anyway, that is no way to get a guy to go out with you.
Donna: Okay, just what did she do wrong? I mean, she had the outfit, the makeup... Hell, she even used that idiotic smile that you taught her--
Laurie: Yes Donna, but her strategy was way off. First off, she spoke to him first. The girl should never make the first move. Guys thrive on challenge.
Much as the girls hate to admit it, Laurie is actually making sense.
Jackie: Okay, so what your saying is that I should ignore him?
Laurie: Finally, we are making some progress here! Yes, and not only should you ignore him, you should act like you hate him.
Jackie: But I don't.
Laurie: Duh! Of course you don't. But you have to act like you do.
Donna is starting to get fed up with Laurie's superior attitude.
Donna: Okay, I never had to use any of this stuff to get Eric.
Laurie: Of course you didn't. My little brother has wanted you since he was big enough to watch you undress through your upstairs window.
Donna gets one of those disgustingly lovesick grins on her face.
Donna: That's so sweet. And kind of creepy.
Jackie rolls her eyes. There is nothing more frustrating than a perfect relationship to someone who is about to burst with unrequited love.
Jackie: I don't know, Laurie. Are you sure about this stuff? I mean... What if it doesn't work?
Laurie: It'll work. How do you think I hooked Kelso?
Donna and Jackie look pointedly at the front of Laurie's shirt. Laurie smirks.
Laurie: Well... They helped.
Meanwhile in the Vista Cruiser. Eric is sitting in the drivers seat and Hyde is stretched out in the passenger seat, hands balled into fists as he tries to ignore Fez and Kelso who are in the back-seat talking about how hot Jackie looked decked out as Wonder Woman.
Eric decides to break the silence.
Eric: So this party's gonna be cool, huh?
Fez: No, it is going to be hot. I heard on the news today that this is the warmest Halloween since 1953.
Eric: Fez, I didn't mean... Never mind.
Kelso: Yeah, it's a hot night. Just like Jackie. Man, Jackie's so hot.
Fez: Yes, Jackie is very hot. I like the way her Halloween costume outlines her--
Hyde has had enough.
Hyde: Man, shut the hell up!
Eric: (in a singsong voice) Ooh, Hyde doesn't like Fez to talk about his little Jackie like that.
Hyde: Jackie isn't my little anything, Foreman! Why don't you just mind your own freaking business!
Eric throws up his hands in surrender, but quickly puts them back down as the car starts to swerve.
Eric: Whatever you say, man. But you know what I think?
Hyde: Shut up!
Eric: I think that Hyde doesn't want other guys to see his girl in her little Wonder Woman outfit.
Hyde: Are you deaf, Foreman!
Fez: If I had a woman like Jackie, I would not want her to show everyone else her costume. I would want her to save it especially for me.
Hyde is starting to get seriously pissed off.
Hyde: I told you, she isn't mine! And stop talking about her that way, man!
Eric: Okay... Okay... Conversation over. Let's hear some music.
He flips on the radio and music comes blaring from the speakers.
Fez: (whispered to Kelso) You know... When Jackie moved a certain way, I could see right down her--
He is cut off as Hyde nearly jumps over the seat and starts pummeling him.
~Flashback:
Hyde stalked into the Foreman kitchen where Kitty was preparing a fruit-salad, plagued by a mixture of annoyance and confusion. What was it that drew him to her? He couldn't be interested... right? But, what was it about her that drew out the protective instinct in him like no one else ever had before? He just couldn't understand it. He'd almost done hard time for her; and had a sinking feeling he would do it the same if he had it to do over again... As he was puzzling over this, Kitty broke into his thoughts...
Kitty: Oh, Steven, I saw what happened. Is your girlfriend okay?
Hyde: (incredulous)My girlfriend?
Kitty: Yeah... the bossy little mean one you're always hanging around with... Oh, uh... Jackie.
Hyde: She's not my girlfriend.
Kitty: Are ya sure?
Hyde: (annoyed)Yes, I'm sure! I don't like her... She's... shallow, and rich, and mean and bossy; she's all the things I hate.
Kitty: But Steven, you hate everything...
Hyde: What's that supposed to mean?
Kitty: (little smile)It means, that maybe you like her; 'cause, I kinda think you do...
Hyde: No! How could I like her? Because I don't like her! Because I can't like her! Mrs.
Foreman, if I like her, shoot me!
Kitty: (makes a little gun with her fingers)Pow!~
Hyde shook off the cobwebs of the memory as they stepped out of the car as the girls were. He used to goad Kelso and say Jackie had him whipped, but... she was starting to get him wrapped around her cute little finger...
Hyde: (thinking as he watched Jackie emerge from the car)Not a bad way to go, actually...
Donna looked at the boys and shook her head. Eric was wearing a smirk and trying not to laugh, Fez looked all disheveled, Kelso looked pouty, and Hyde looked pissed...
Donna: (whispering to Eric)What's going on?
Eric: Um, you guys meet us inside?
Hyde: (looking at him warily)Why?
Eric: We'll be there, Hyde...
Hyde: (shrugs)Fine; don't know if I want to be seen with such a bad drag-queen anyways...
Eric rolled his eyes and got into the Vista Cruiser with Donna and shut the doors as the rest went into the party...
Eric: Okay, don't say anything?
Donna: Yeah, swear. (impatient)So, what happened to Fez? And, what was with Hyde and Kelso? Come on; what'd I miss???
Eric: Well...
Donna: Errrriiiicccc!!!
Eric: (laughs)Okay, okay... Um, well, Hyde got all pissy because Kelso and Fez were talkin' about how hot Jackie is, and Fez got him mad enough he jumped over the seat and started whaling' on him...
Donna: (wide eyes)You're kidding...
Eric: Nup; he's head over feet man...
When they got into the party, everything was jumpin'. Music blaring, place was packed...
Hyde: Jackie, can I talk to you?
Jackie opened her mouth as if to speak, but stopped herself when Laurie shot her a warning glance and cleared her throat loudly. Taking a deep breath as if to steel herself, she shot Hyde an annoyed look.
Jackie: No; I am here to have fun, so... I'm going trolling!
Furtively she looked to Laurie for approval, who gave her a reassuring smile and tilted her head to indicate her going off into the crowd...
Hyde stared after Jackie for a moment as she walked away; shocked at her
sudden change of attitude. Quickly coming to his senses, he strode
after her and gently grabbed her arm.
Hyde: What's up with you?
Jackie: Let go of me, Steven. (he drops her arm) Nothing is wrong with
me. I'm here to have fun, and fun is what I'm going to damn well have!
Is that okay with you?
Hyde: (hurt) Fine! Go do whatever it is that you want. I don't give a
damn.
He stalks off into the crowd, and this time Jackie is the one left
standing there. Her tiny frame slumps; dejected. Laurie pops up beside
her; grinning triumphantly.
Laurie: Well, well, Jackie. You aren't a complete loser after all.
You're doing great, girlfriend! You'll have Steven begging on his knees
in no time!
Jackie: (hesitant) Um, about that, Laurie... I don't think this plan
is going to work.
Laurie: (annoyed) And why not?
Jackie: Because Steven isn't like other guys, Laurie! He's not one of
your stupid, dumb jock admirers. He doesn't play mind games...
Laurie rolls her eyes and gives the ceiling a 'why me' expression. Then
she grabs Jackie by the shoulders and shakes her.
Laurie: Trust me on this, Jackie. Steven is going to be putty in your
hands by the end of this party. It doesn't matter that he's a different
type of guy because, in the end, that's what he is. A GUY, Jackie. All
men are alike deep down. They all get jealous and possessive and...
Jackie: All right! All right! I'll stick to the plan. Jeez!
Anything to shut you up.
Laurie smirks at her and slinks off into the crowd. Kelso saunters up
to the dark haired pixie with a glass in his hand.
Kelso: (offering the drink) Beer?
Jackie: No thanks.
Kelso: Hey, you okay? What's wrong?
Jackie: Nothing, it's just...Have you ever done something that you're
not proud of, Michael? Something that you regret? And you know that
while you're doing it...that it's wrong....but you can't stop?
Kelso grows sad as he remembers how he cheated on Jackie.
Kelso: Yeah, I think I can relate. (notices her staring at Hyde across
the room. Kelso is visibly crushed.) You really like him, don't you?
Jackie: (trying to stick to the plan) No! No, I don't like him at
all. (starts tearing up) I hate him!
Kelso: Jackie...
He reaches out to comfort her, but she races into the crowd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Outside, the windows of the Vista Cruiser are completely fogged up.
Inside, Donna as Eric and Eric as Donna are heavily making out.
Donna: (panting and staring at Eric's long, red wig) This has got to be
the weirdest make-out session in the history of the world.
Eric: I can't argue with that.
They continue to kiss and Donna's cap falls off, causing her long, red
hair to tumble down. Neither of them notice as they continue to explore
each other's mouths.
Donna: Eric...Eric we should go inside now. The others must be
wondering what happened to us.
Eric: (kissing her throat) I doubt that. I'm sure Jackie is still
trying to get Steven and he's still trying to ignore her. Fez and Kelso
are probably still pouting and Laurie has probably slept with at least
two guys by now.
Donna strokes the back of Eric's neck.
Donna: (giggles) That tickles, Eric.
Eric: Good. Revel in my power over you, Pinciotti.
Donna: Oh yeah?
She flips them and accidentally kicks the door handle, causing the door
to open and both of them to fall onto the pavement. A group of guys
standing outside the building start whooping and hollering.
1st guy: Oh, my gosh! It's two GIRLS! And look how they fogged up
those windows, man!
2nd guy: Redheads are freaking HOT, man.
Eric and Donna stand up, blushing like crazy and trying to gather some of their scattered dignity. They make their way into the party, straightening their costumes as they go.
Donna: Eric, you've got lipstick all over you're face.
Eric: Don't worry, it matches the costume.
Donna: (slugs him in the arm) wise ass.
They look at each other and burst out laughing.
Donna: Did you see the look on their faces when you're wig fell off?
Eric: Hey, there's Hyde.
Donna: He looks pissed.
Eric: And this is unusual how?
Laurie comes up to them, a good looking guy on each arm.
Laurie: Hey little brother. Did you hear about the two red headed chicks going at it in the parking lot?
Eric: You wouldn't believe us if we told you.
Donna: Have you seen Jackie around?
Laurie: Oh, she's around here somewhere... Last time I saw her, she was trolling for hotties.
Donna: WHAT?!
Eric: Jeez, I knew she was lonely but I never figured she was the type--
Donna interrupts him, panic written all over her face.
Donna: She's not. Laurie, what did you do?
Laurie: I didn't do anything. God, why am I always accused of everything?
Donna: Well then what happened? Jackie would never go trolling on her own. Not without me with her. What if somebody slips something in her drink?
Laurie: Look, I'll tell you everything that I saw, but I'm telling you, you're freaking out for no reason. Okay, I saw Hyde come up and tell her that he wanted to talk to her. She turned him down, just like I told her to, and went out into the crowd. I haven't seen her since.
Donna: I knew that this was a bad idea...
Laurie: Oh, come on! It'll do the girl good to get lucky. Maybe she'll stop following that loser around like a little lost puppy.
Eric: Okay, I don't know what you guys are talking about, but I do know that we'd better find Jackie before she does something stupid.
Donna: Tell me about it. What if she's drinking? God Eric, you know how she gets when she drinks! One little beer, and she's totally wasted!
Eric and Donna walk away quickly, scanning the crowds for Jackie's dark head as they go.
Donna: How hard can it be to find her? Look at what she was wearing!
Eric: What's going on, Donna? Why were you so chummy with my sister?
Donna: I'll explain as we go. But whatever you do, PLEASE don't tell Hyde. Jackie would never forgive me.
Eric sighed, aggravated. Donna had told him the entire tale while they searched for Jackie, but they had still come up empty.
Eric: (incredulous)Okay, um... why would you trust Laurie??? I keep tellin' ya, she's evil...
Donna: (biting her lip)Yah, I know, but... well, we didn't know what else to do... (sighs heavily)I didn't think anything could happen, or I never would have suggested it...
A look of guilt is flooding her features.
Eric: Be that as it may... (sighs, cutting himself off as he sees how truly upset she is)Okay, okay, let's go round up the rest of the guys and give 'em a heads up---
Donna: No! We can't tell what's going on; Jackie will be mad.
Eric: Better mad than hurt... (bites his lip)Okay, let's just go find them and tell them we're worried she's missing, then? Donna, 6 pairs of eyes are better than 2...
Donna: You're right, Eric... Okay, but they can't know the whole story, remember that...
Eric: Right...
By the time Eric and Donna located Hyde, Kelso and Fez were sitting with him. Unfortunately, Jackie was still nowhere to be seen...
Donna: (quickly, nearing hysterics)We hafta find Jackie! Now!
Kelso: (concernedly)Why? Something happen?
Donna: I don't know; that's the trouble! She's... alone, and... I have a feeling... Look, Jackie cannot be by herself in a situation like this; she needs one of us there to look out for her. You know that...
Kelso: Well, she was kind of upset when I saw her... I tried to give her a beer and comfort her, but---
Donna: (shakes him)You tried to get her drunk???
Kelso: (removes her hands gently)Geez, Donna, relax! She didn't take it! (glares at Hyde)Somebody upset her...
Hyde: (arms folded, glares back at Kelso)I hope you are not referring to me, because I will not hesitate to---
Eric: Hyde! Now is not the time...
Suddenly Laurie walks up, shockingly alone.
Laurie: (casual)Oh, hey, I saw Jackie, Donna...
Donna: (looks at her in shock and annoyance)Why didn't you bring her to us?
Laurie: (shrugs)She seemed kinda busy...
Hyde: (frowns slightly)Busy how?
Laurie: She looked kind of out of it... (nods)Yeah, I think she was high or something...