Peeta POV:
[An: Hey I decided to start a different story because I really wasn't feeling the old one. So please Review so I know to keep writing this one. Thanks!]
[Disclaimer: all rights go to Suzanne Collins I just simply own the plot]
I want to die. I can't do this anymore. Everyone hates me. No one will care. I am going to do it. Everyone will be better off without me. I will feel better too. Not having to be bullied by people at school. Not being abused by my mom. Not having to hid all those things to my friends even though they only pretend to be my friend. I won't have to worry about being an embarrassment to my to older brothers. Katniss won't have to date me. I know she only did because she felt sorry for me. Well, that's what the bullies and my mom tell me.
I look at the note on the bed and then at the knife in my hand. I will be free from everything. Without a second thought, I shove the knife into my stomach. All I feel is pain, but I know it will be worth it in the end. I can hear banging on my locked bedroom door. I guess someone saw my post I had posted on Facebook not even ten minutes ago. It said that all the bullies had won and I lost. My eyes start the get blurry and I can't hear the banging on my door anymore. My eyes can't stay open anymore and i don't fight it because I know this is it. I can finally be happy and everyone else can be too.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. What is that noise? Why can't I see anything? Is this what Being dead feels like? I hear a door open and many footsteps getting closer to what I am guessing is my hospital bed. Everyone stays silent except for people's occasional sniffle. Someone finally broke the silence and asked everyone in a weak voice, "Why would he do this?" I recognized the voice as Katniss's.
Another person who I assumed to be the doctor replied, "Studies say that people who try to commit suicide has been being bullied." Nobody answered him and the room got awfully quiet. A few minutes later, I hear the door open and close. Someone moved closer to me and grabbed my hand. I knew it was Katniss and that she wasn't going to let go anytime soon. I hear someone digging in their pocket and the sound of paper unfolding. Someone found my note or I guess you can call letter. The person finally spoke, it is my brother Rye. He is a senior and Panem High, I am a sophomore there as well as all of the people that call me their friend. He told everyone in the room that he found the letter on my bed when everyone found me. He was told by everyone to read it. He started in a shaky voice
"Dear Everyone,
I had to do this. I did it for all of you and for me. I am bothersome and worthless. Don't even try to deny it, I get reminded every hour of everyday."
"Mom, I forgive you for all the beatings you gave me and all the cruel words you sent my way. I deserved it. I know you wanted to have a baby girl, but you ended up with me. I know I am a disappointment to you, but I just want to tell you that, I love you and I am sorry that you got stuck with me for so long. I know deep down you might have grown to love me and I know you aren't good at showing emotion. But that's okay, I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve anyone's love. Now nobody has to deal with useless old me."
I hear my mom say, "I love you too, Peeta, I am so sorry for what I put you through." Before sobbing. Rye continued to read the letter.
"Rye and Graham, I am sorry for being such an embarrassment to you. I tried so hard to stay away from you guys in public because I know you don't want to be seen with me because all I am is an embarrassing klutz. Well that's what all your guys friends tell me anyway. I didn't want to bother you with my problems, but your friends bully me. They jump me almost everyday but i got used to it. I deserved it. Don't think that it's all their faults because it wasn't just them. Mostly, the Sophomore and Seniors take part in bullying me but some juniors do too. So i kept it to myself because no one cares. I forgive you guys for watching mom hit me it wasn't your fault though. It was fine."
I hear two people crying and more shuffling. I hear the letter getting snatched from Rye's hand. My mom finished reading because Rye couldn't.
"Dad, i forgive you for watching mom beat me with a rolling pin, or whatever she can get her hands on. I know you love her and that you don't want anything to happen to her so you watch someone you love beat your stupid son. I know you didn't want the love of your life go to jail when I am to blame. I am always to blame for everything that goes wrong and for that I am sorry. But now you can live a happy life, without me. That's what's best for everyone."
I can hear soft foot steps approaching the door. I know it's my father and all I can do is sit here and listen to him open the door and close it silently. My mom continued,
"Annie, Finn, and Jo, you guys are my bests friends and I am going to miss you all. I know you guys felt sorry for me and that's why we became friends but I am okay with that. Annie please don't be sad I am doing this because it is better for everyone. Finn be good to Annie. Don't hurt her because you have a keeper. Jo I know you are thinking I am stupid but I think I made the right decision. I and really going to miss you all. And Jo? Please try to not kill Katniss."
"Katniss, you really don't know the effect you can have on people. I really am going to miss you Katniss. Your beautiful face, you sparkling eyes, your stubborn attitude and your love for your family. I am going to miss the way you scowl when you get annoyed, and the way you are always determined to get your way, and the way you always have to be right even if you know you are wrong. I am going to miss your laugh, your gorgeous smile, and the way you blush and look down at your feet when your embarrassed. But most importantly I am going to miss you. Please don't be upset. I do my deserve you I never will. Don't blame yourself it is not your fault. Katniss, I love you, always"
"To the bullies, you guys won. You got what you wanted. If you tell me to kill myself enough times I will actually believe you and I do. No one should be seen with ugly me. So I did what I had to do to make that happen. Just know that this is all your fault. Everyone single one of you that bullied me you guys made me do this. When you call me all those names I believe every single word. I am just a worthless person that deserves to die because no one likes me. I just take up space and know I won't because right after I finish writing this letter I am going to end my life because of you.
Goodbye,
Peeta."
I feel tears fall down my cheeks and I can hear people crying, because of me. I try to squeeze Katniss's hand to assure her that I am okay. I am surprised just like everyone else when I find out I can move my hands. Slowly I try to open my eyes, and when i do I am met with bright lights. I quickly close my eyes again and groan in pain. I try again a few minutes later and keep my eyes open. I look around to see everyone's tear stained faces that stare at me in surprise.
"Hi." I say to everyone. I watch Katniss cry again with what I am guessing is happy tears. She looks at me in between her tears and says "I thought you left me, Peeta, I love you." I sat there shocked not believing her I asked, "your not just saying that because you feel bad?"
She shakes her head and leans up and captures my lips in a kiss. I kiss her back right away before pulling back and looking at everyone else not letting go of Katniss's hand.