Author's Note: this, as many of my femslash pieces, is something I wrote for "Yuri_challenge", a community on LiveJournal. I know this is an uncommon pairing, but I've been curious about how things might happen between them for quite some time. Enjoy.
Tell me Where it Hurts
Juri opened the door on an unexpected guest, and could not hide her frown.
"Nanami," she said. Any other greeting would have been too much, or too awkward. She and Touga's younger sister weren't quite friends; they served on the student council and occasionally socialized outside of school. But there was little more.
So why was she on Juri's doorstep this evening?
"Juri," Nanami said with a slight nod. The look on her face gave Juri the impression that Nanami was looking down at her, despite being shorter. But Nanami always looked like that. "I'm sorry to impose," Nanami continued, "but could – could I stay here tonight?"
Juri said nothing while she considered. This was not at all what she'd expected. Nanami showing up on council business, of course; perhaps business of the End of the World . . . no. News of that would come in other ways. This was personal.
If Nanami had a reason to flee her own home, and her beloved brother, it had to be something serious. Juri stepped back from the door. "Please, come inside."
"Thank you for having me," Nanami said as she entered, the very model of politeness. She held only a single bag, both her hands clasped tight around the strap. She'd packed light, Juri thought, and perhaps quickly.
Juri watched Nanami closely. There was a tension in the other woman's movements, and her smile looked strained. Something was definitely wrong. Juri forced herself to relax; betraying her own thoughts about this would only make things more difficult. And it looked like Nanami was having a difficult time enough already.
"There's a spare room this way," Juri said, starting toward a hallway. "Come."
"This is a lovely house," Nanami said as they walked; again, the expected politeness and small talk. Juri only nodded her thanks. When neither of them said anything more, Juri glanced at Nanami out of the corner of her eye. Nanami looked slightly relieved. Juri stayed quiet.
The walk to the spare room took longer than Juri could ever remember it taking, and when she opened the door, she heard Nanami breathe what sounded like a sigh of relief. "Make yourself at home," she said. "The bathroom is down the hall." She stepped back and saw the grateful look on Nanami's face, and had to keep herself from drawing back in surprise. She hadn't known Nanami knew how to look grateful.
"Thank you, Juri," Nanami said, her fingers tightening around her bag's strap. "I'll – I'll be out early tomorrow-"
"You can stay as long as you need to." Juri wasn't sure why she'd chosen to say it, but once she had, she knew it was right. Nanami's eyes widened, and Juri gave her a faint smile. "My room is down the hall if you need me. Sleep well, Nanami."
And yet Juri later found that she could not sleep. Questions about her unexpected guest abounded, and Juri stared at the ceiling, bedcovers held tight around herself, wondering. What could drive Nanami away from her brother? Juri couldn't remember ever seeing the two of them fight; the only time she'd seen Touga even speak strongly to her was shortly before he made her a duelist.
There must be something more.
Juri slowly slid from her bed, her copper-colored hair hanging down her back, out of its usual tight curls. She opened her door and looked down the darkened hall. No light came from under Nanami's door, so Juri listened. Not a sound. For a moment, she considered returning to bed, then shook her head. If Nanami was asleep, Juri would talk to her in the morning; the younger woman might feel better after a night's rest.
If Nanami was not asleep, Juri would find out why.
When she reached the door, Juri listened again. For a moment, she thought she heard a faint sob, and drew back. Should she go in? Then, her eyes narrowed. Nanami had to be crying for a reason.
Juri knocked softly, then let herself in. The curtains hung closed, letting in only the faintest hints of moonlight to illuminate the crumpled mass of blankets at the center of the bed. A few stray locks of Nanami's hair spilled out of the pile, and as Juri watched, Nanami stiffened, as though caught at something she didn't want anyone to see.
"Nanami," Juri said quietly, then stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. "Are you all right?" She walked toward the bed without waiting for an answer, and turned on the lamp next to the bed. The pale light threw long shadows across the room.
Nanami sniffled from somewhere within the blankets, confirming Juri's suspicions. "I'm fine," she said, her voice quiet and small.
"I don't know if I believe that." Juri stood at the bed's edge, and said quietly, "Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing!" Nanami snapped, some of her usual arrogance back in her voice.
Juri sighed. "I definitely don't believe that." She reached over and yanked on one of the blankets, forced Nanami to roll over and out of her self-imposed cocoon. Juri drew back, her eyes growing wide.
Nanami had unbound her hair, and without her usual braid and the attitude that came with it, her bangs fell across her forehead. It made her seem softer somehow, Juri thought, more vulnerable and less the would-be queen of campus. Redness rimmed her dark eyes, and the trails of tears still marked her face. Nanami made a halfhearted effort to pull a blanket over herself again, then lowered her hands, as though acknowledging that it would do no good.
They looked at each other for a long moment, then Nanami hid her face in her hands. "Please," she whispered. "Don't tell anyone."
"I won't," Juri said, then watched as Nanami lowered her hands once more. "But I want to know what's wrong." She let out a quiet sigh, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "So. What happened?"
Nanami froze for an instant, and looked away, as though she could find answers in the curtains or the window behind them. Juri waited. It would be easier for Nanami to say it in her own words, without any prodding.
"Have you ever loved someone and they hurt you?" Nanami asked all at once.
Juri thought for a moment before answering. She could reveal too much if she wasn't careful. Even though she'd taken off the locket, she still felt its weight around her neck. "Yes," she said, her voice low. "Some people say that's what happens when you love someone. They hurt you, even if they don't mean to."
Though sometimes, Juri thought, they meant to. But that was then, and Nanami didn't need to hear about that.
And before Juri could say anything more, Nanami asked just the wrong question.
"You loved someone?" Nanami asked, turning back to Juri, her eyes still wide. "Who?"
"An old friend," Juri said, and forced a small smile. "It was a long time ago. We . . . settled things, somehow. It's not important now." She paused. Nanami didn't look away from her. "But I can see that's why you're here tonight."
Nanami said nothing, just kept looking at her, wrinkles forming between her thin eyebrows as she stared. Juri only looked back. Was it so strange, she thought, that she'd loved someone? Did the rest of the council see her as so cold, so stoic, that she couldn't be hurt? Was that the impression she gave?
Perhaps it was. And on any other day, she would think it was enough. But now, with Nanami clearly so hurt, it would do her no good. And if Nanami saw she wasn't the only one who'd been hurt, perhaps she would reveal what troubled her. Juri lowered her eyes and began to speak.
"It's not easy," she said. "I never showed it, but I remember feeling like the world had left me. There was nothing I could do but keep going, even if I didn't want to." She hadn't ever curled up and cried, Juri thought, but everyone dealt with these things in their own way.
"I always thought," Nanami whispered, her voice rough around the edges, her eyes never leaving Juri's face, "that we'd be together. Forever. And now – now there's no reason, there's nothing, and I'm not – I'm not-"
"You thought you had something certain," Juri said, before Nanami could start crying again. She felt her expression soften. "And now it's gone."
Nanami sniffled. "So what do I have now?"
Juri could only shake her head. "I don't know," she said. "I don't have an answer for that. Maybe someday you will."
Nanami turned, then slowly disengaged herself from the blankets and sat up, her pale purple nightgown falling about her. "Who did you want to be with?" she asked, then wiped away another tear as it fell. "And how long . . . until you felt better?"
"It took time," Juri said, making sure not to address the first question. "And sometimes, when you think you're fine, something happens and you know you're not. I'm sorry that I don't have any better answers."
For a moment, Nanami didn't say anything, then she slid over and sat next to Juri on the bed's edge, leaned close and rested her head on Juri's shoulder. "I didn't think you'd understand," she said. "Nobody at school would think you'd ever been hurt."
Oh, a few people would, Juri thought. But perhaps only them. She sighed, breathed in, smelled the shampoo Nanami had used. She hadn't thought Nanami would get this close to her, but she'd seen the other woman be affectionate with Touga; perhaps this actually was in her nature. She moved to put an arm around Nanami's shoulders, slowly, found herself growing tense. But when she lowered her arm, Nanami didn't move away.
"Everyone gets hurt," Juri said, little more than a whisper. "But I think everyone gets past it, in time. I think you will too. But you don't have to tonight."
As though given permission, Nanami started to cry again, and Juri pulled her close. She hadn't thought things would end up this way. But such things rarely did, in matters of love and pain and the seeking of comfort.
And then Nanami raised her head, and asked through her tears, "Can you stay here?"
Juri tensed, then nodded, not completely sure why she'd agreed. But she lay down with Nanami curled against her, as though it was the most natural thing, and told herself not to think about it too much as Nanami pulled the blankets over them both. The other woman pulled close as Juri reached out and turned off the lamp.
Nanami cried for a short while longer, but Juri held her, and in time, she drifted off to sleep. Juri wondered what Nanami would think upon awakening, what she would say, if anything of tonight would matter tomorrow. And she decided it didn't matter.
Juri closed her eyes and let herself sleep.