Dolna was not happy.
Even though the oldest servant at Redcliffe castle kept a calm and sophisticated demeanor, I could tell from the moment she walked into the dormitory that something was amiss. I looked up and quickly stuffed the kitchen utensils I'd been playing with in my pockets, hoping I wasn't the reason she was disgruntled. Technically I wasn't supposed to have such toys; Reynnor, the elf on kitchen duty, had smuggled them out for me. I was the youngest elf here, in training to become a servant, so he was always taking pity on me and supplying me with playthings and treats.
Luckily Dolna had other things on her mind. She marched straight past me until she reached the middle of the room, where she proceeded to clap her hands until everyone quieted. "The young master has gone missing," she announced.
Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief. The situation wasn't as bad as I'd feared. The "young master" title referred to Arl Eamon's charge - a human boy about my age named Alistair. I'd never met this boy, myself, but I'd caught glimpses of him from time to time. Strictly speaking he wasn't a "master" of any sort; in fact, he was a late serving girl's orphan from the royal palace in Denerim. But since Arl Eamon had taken him in, the servants here opted to call him master, to be safe. The last thing we wanted was to get on a human's bad side. Nobody knew why the arl had done such a kind act towards a commoner, but no one had the guts to question it. There were rumors that Alistair was Arl Eamon's illegitimate son, however, as the man refused to say who the father was. I would never understand the outrage some people expressed at such gossip until much later.
At any rate, this wasn't an uncommon occurrence. Alistair was a little mischievous and would often hide around the castle. It was more of a nuisance than an alarm if no one could find him in time for supper. Still, the arl appreciated it if we kept an eye out for him, which was what Dolna said next; "Everyone is to go on with chores as normal; just keep an eye out for the boy."
The elves in the room either shrugged or nodded and went back to what they were doing. I was about to take my makeshift toys out again when Dolna approached me. "Come with me, Jeirey. I could use your help with some things."
I sighed - there went my play time - and got to my feet, following the white-haired woman into the hall.
Things were hectic. The arl was to be married that month, so everyone was preparing. Servants and more important people alike scuttled about carrying armloads of fabric or food or paper. It had been like this for a few days now, and it only got worse with each passing one.
Naturally, right when we stepped out of the servant's quarters and started walking, my ragged skirt started clinking, heavy with tableware. For a moment it seemed as if the bustle around us would mask it, but much to my disappointment Dolna caught on quickly. The next chance she got she pulled me aside. "Do you have what I think you have in your pockets?" she asked, a scolding tone in her voice.
Of course she already knew the answer, so there was no use in lying. Sullenly I nodded and fished the silverware out of my pockets, handing them to her without meeting her gaze. This had not been the first time she'd caught me with such items.
She gently took the kitchenware and I heard a sigh. Glancing up, I saw that her sharp features had softened. I couldn't tell what the look in her eyes meant. Pity? Fondness? Sorrow? Maybe it was a mixture of all three. Maybe it was something entirely different.
When we started walking again, the old woman took my hand. I was surprised but pleased at the sign of affection, though I didn't say anything.
In a few minutes we reached our destination; the room that the arl was to move into after he married. We set to work by arranging bedding on the brand-new four poster bed, sitting proudly in the middle of the room. It still smelled of fresh oak. Even though nobody was using it yet, appearances were still important, it seemed.
Dolna's pockets jingled the entire time, and I couldn't help a longing glance every once in a while in her direction.
My forlorn looks were not unnoticed. After we made the bed I waited for the old elf to announce the next task, but instead she put her hands on her hips and studied me in a contemplative way. I didn't ask her what she was doing despite my burning curiosity; I never spoke much. From watching other servants I knew that a misplaced word could turn the tides quickly, all-too-often ending up with a flogging. By then it was a force of habit to not speak unless prompted, even with other servants whom I knew would not harm me.
Finally the silence was broken. Dolna surprised me again by removing the spoons and forks from her skirt pockets. "Don't tell anyone," was all she said as I seized my toys with delight. I plopped down right where I was and continued the game I had been playing in the servants' quarters. The other elf smiled and proceeded to dust the bookcases.
Soon she finished that chore, but she didn't start another. I hesitated playing and glanced up inquiringly when I felt her presence in front of me. She knelt down and brushed a strand of my dark brown hair away from my face. "Have I told you how much you look like your mother, Jeirey? Such green eyes..."
I blinked in confusion, my eyebrows drawing together. What was this, all of a sudden? I wasn't aware Dolna knew my parents. I didn't know my parents.
Seeing the question in my eyes, Dolna continued. "Your mother's name was Adaia. I was friends with her parents. Adaia was... rambunctious, to say the least. But she brought a spark of life that the alienage had not been blessed with for many years." She hesitated, seeming to ask herself if she should tell me the next part. I saw her steel herself, and she continued. "Unfortunately, that liveliness is what ultimately killed her. She got on the wrong side of humans" - she made a face as she said the word - "that wielded too much power only a couple years after you were born."
Dolna paused again, obviously waiting for me to add input. But what could I say? I never knew this woman Dolna spoke of - whom she claimed to be my very own mother. My earliest memories were of Redcliffe, where I was right then. My young mind simply couldn't comprehend that I could have had a different, if not somewhat better, life in Denerim's alienage. So I remained silent.
The old woman realized I wasn't going to speak, so eventually she continued. "After your mother was killed, your father... Cyrion. He was so scared that they would harm the people close to Adaia - you - as well... I was about to leave for this place, so I offered to take you along. And now here you are." She took a deep breath. "I wish it hadn't come to that. I wish you could have stayed with your father. I wish your mother was still alive." Anger filled her eyes quite suddenly, and she clenched her fists. "If it wasn't for those sodding shem we would all be happier," she spat as an afterthought. "Every single elf."
So that was it. Dolna wanted to let me know that the humans had ruined my life. But for some reason I didn't feel angry. Or even sad. The same calm that I'd had at the beginning of the conversation remained.
"I don't hate humans," I stated quietly.
Dolna stared at me for a long moment, a mixture of bewilderment and concern on her face. How could I not hate humans, especially after all she'd just told me? Even if they hadn't been responsible for my current situation, they were still the reason most elves suffered.
Then tears welled up in her pale eyes, and she leaned forward to embrace me. "Oh, child," she said, her voice full of emotion. "I'm so sorry."
The exact meaning of her apology is still a mystery to me this day. Nonetheless I found myself wrapping my scrawny arms around her in return, very tightly. I couldn't remember the last time someone had given me a hug.
After a bit she released me. With a fond smile, she told me, "Go on and find somewhere to play, where nobody can see you. Off you go, then!"
A small smile came to my lips and I wasted no time gathering my silverware. With a final shooing motion from Dolna I was out the door and hurrying away, the words "Just be in the dorm before dark!" at my back.
My smile quickly turned into a grin. It wasn't every day that I got the chance to play all evening. I knew just the place to go, too.
Within a few minutes I was standing outside the kennel room. I knew that most of the mabari were out, either training or on duty, and wouldn't be back until sunset. The same went for their masters. I'd hidden in the kennels before on occasion, and I'd never been caught before.
Eagerly I reached for the door handle, but right as I was about to pull it, I heard something coming from the other side. Instinctively I shrank away and pressed my back against the wall, already flinching as I expected a trainer to come out and notice me.
But nobody came. I blinked a couple times, then listened carefully. The noise I'd heard was shuffling that definitely didn't belong to a dog, but then again it didn't really sound like a kennel master, either...
My curiosity piqued, I dared to open the door just a crack and peeked through. I couldn't see anyone, so I risked pulling it open a little wider... only to have the hinges creak. The shuffling stopped, and my heart leaped into my throat in terror. If I'd been wrong about the noise not belonging to a trainer, a beating was almost a certainty in my immediate future.
"Who's there?" a suspicious voice called out.
It took me a moment to register that it had belonged to someone young, and it took me even longer to pry my fingers away from the door and move. Hesitantly I stepped inside, clutching my skirt for comfort. I found myself staring at a human boy with dirty blonde hair who couldn't have been much older than me. Alistair.
He was sitting inside one of the war hounds' cages, glaring fiercely through the bars until he took in my appearance and decided I wasn't a threat. As soon as that had been established his attitude instantly changed, and he smiled at me. "Hello. Can you help me?"
I was confused at his sudden mood swing, so I only stood where I was and tried to make sense of this situation. What was he doing in here? Surely he hadn't come to play by himself, like me. He had no need to sneak away in order to do such things. Besides, he was in a cage... a closed cage at that. Had someone locked him in there?
Alistair's eyebrows rose with curiosity when I didn't reply. "Look, I just need you to pull that lever right there..." He reached his arm through the cage, sticking out his tongue as he grasped wildly at thin air, showing me he couldn't reach the lever that he spoke of.
Tentatively I inched forward a few steps, but I didn't approach the lever. I was still wondering what in the name of Andraste Alistair was doing locked up in a mabari war hound's cage. I kept my gaze on him, mentally willing him to see the inquiry in my eyes. In return, though, I only got an expression of puzzlement.
Right when I was about to give in and speak what was on my mind, he caught on. "Are you wondering what I'm doing in here?" Then, "Can you even talk?"
I nodded in response to both questions.
"Okay..." He gave me a strange look. "Well, I came here because Eamon was fawning over Lady Isolde. I wanted to see how long it would take before he noticed I went missing. But... I should've known better. He never looks for me himself."
If I wasn't mistaken I heard two separate pleas for attention there. I decided to keep that to myself, however, and we remained silent for several heartbeats before I spoke, barely audible; "Why here?"
The little boy pressed his face against the bars of the cage. "Sorry, what? You're really quiet."
I had to resist the urge to giggle; the way his nose and cheeks were smooshed was rather amusing. A smile managed to appear on my mouth as I raised my voice ever-so-slightly. "Why here? You... locked yourself in this cage?"
Alistair sat back on his heels, rubbing his right cheek where there was now a red mark. "Oh. I came here because I've never hidden here before. Why are you here, anyway? Aren't you a servant?"
The question caught me off-guard, so I didn't notice he'd avoided one of my own. My hands clenched around the fabric of my skirt once again, displaying my discomfort with talking to strangers - and the nervousness I felt at the mention of me being a servant. "P-Please don't tell anyone," I whimpered.
"Huh? No! I won't tell anyone. Don't worry." He seemed surprised that I would think he'd do such a thing. "I can't even if I wanted to, since I'm kind of stuck here." He motioned at the lever. "Could you... let me out now? It's pretty boring in here. And I'd like to stand up."
Right. I'd almost forgotten about that. I nodded and hurried over to the lever, and with a heave I pushed it down. With much clanking that made me wince - what if someone outside heard? - the cage opened. Alistair scrambled out on his hands and knees, then stood up and stretched. "Ah, that's much better!" he said with a grin. "Thanks. I would've gotten out myself, but the string I used to pull the lever to shut the cage broke." Sure enough, when I glanced down there was a piece of frayed twine tied to the switch.
Alistair then approached me, putting his hands on his hips. Yet his gaze was friendly. "So whatcha down here for?" he repeated his earlier question.
I found myself having to look up at the other child. Maybe he was larger-than-average for a human of his age, or maybe I was just small even by elf standards. I wouldn't know, though, seeing as I'd never seen another human kid up close before - and never would again until I was an adult, for that matter. Either way, I was slightly intimidated. Unwittingly I began fidgeting with the hem of my heavily patched shirt, and I swallowed hard before whispering, "To play."
He stared at me for a long moment, and I started to wonder if he'd even heard what I'd said before he finally spoke. "Are you scared or something?" he asked, concern touching his features as he tilted his head to the side.
It was strange, seeing a human with that facial expression. I'd always thought that worry was an emotion reserved for those close to you; the only people in my life who'd ever shown such care for me were Dolna and Reynnor. In fact, I hadn't been aware that humans were capable of such an emotion. They had always been our cold, distant masters, and despite the fact that I did not hate them, they were not anyone to stop and chat with, ever.
Yet here I was, this human boy - this funny, peculiar human boy - showing compassion I'd not thought possible for me. Suddenly my fear melted away.
I shook my head vigorously, more confident now. "No. Want to play with me?"
"Yeah!" he agreed without hesitation, a grin spreading across his face.
"Good. I brought toys," I informed him, straight to the point. I pulled out the kitchen utensils from my pockets and spread them out across the floor, dropping to a sitting position. Alistair followed suit, grabbing a spoon.
"These can be the Orlesians," he said with enthusiasm. "And then the forks can be the Fereldans!" He proceeded to create a detailed scenario as I listened eagerly.
And so we acted out the Fereldan rebellion with forks and spoons. Soon it turned into something more elaborate - at one point I grew bold enough to climb on top of the cage Alistair had locked himself in and jump off, expecting him to catch me. He didn't, of course (I more or less crushed him, landing in a heap on top of him), but luckily the fall wasn't too high. It only resulted in a few bruises.
That didn't stop us, though. We continued our game for several hours before we heard hounds approaching and we made a run for it. We said our goodbyes in a secluded hallway and then went our separate ways.
Unfortunately, I would not get to meet the kind human boy again for quite some time. Alistair was sent to the Chantry about a year later at Lady Isolde's insistance. I was also transferred, to the bann of Honnleath's estate.
Mine and Alistair's lives would be entwined soon enough, however. Fate had something very, very big in store for the two of us.
***In case you're confused...
Jeirey's name is pronounced "jay-ree".
I tweaked the city elf origin; she is still a Tabris, and her mother and father are Adaia and Cyrion like in the actual game. However, I sort of wanted Jeirey and Alistair to have some encounter before they met each other at Ostagar, and so I toyed with the idea of her having been sent away to be a servant by her father because he was so scared that she would be hurt by the humans that killed Adaia.
If you have any other questions, feel free to message me and ask! :)