I disclaim.
It's never a good thing when Haru cooks.
The first time she failed a mission, and the first time he was exposed to her habit of cooking when she was upset, it had been a Wednesday. Neji was thirteen and she was twelve and he had come home to the unmistakable smell of green tea, only it smelled… wrong somehow. Burnt.
His nose crinkled as he slipped his sandals off and walked down the hall to the kitchen of their little duplex on the edge of the grounds of the Hyuuga Compound, close to the woods. When he opened the door, his nose wrinkled even more and he saw her, sitting on the ground against the refrigerator, a plate with a dark brown, crusty-looking square on it in her lap.
The kitchen was a mess—flour was everywhere and there were containers and batter all over the counters. It looked like she had been in there all day, throwing ingredients every which-way and burning… whatever it was she had been trying to bake to a crisp. There were loaves of the mysterious substance all over the counter, and Neji noticed that two of them had kunai lodged in the tops.
He asked her what she had been doing, and what that stench was, and she looked up at him with watery, wide eyes before she proceeded to cry and blubber into her hands, making him extremely uncomfortable. Haru hadn't cried in front of him for years, after all, and he wasn't sure what to do to make her stop making those awful sounds. He was so confused and felt so awkward that all he could do was go to his room and leave her alone, hoping she would be better the next time he saw her.
And then, the second time, the day Mamoru called her a talentless, flat-chested freak and told her no man would ever want her for a wife, he had been in his room, meditating. Gai had let him leave training early because he had a training session with Hiashi-sama that night. He had some free time, so he thought he might as well center himself before the ass-kicking he was sure to get later.
He had been sitting in his room for about ten minutes before he heard her stomping around in an uncharacteristically loud manner. He tried to ignore her, but as time passed and she started slamming things around, his patience grew thin. He stormed out of his room and found her in the kitchen again, looking like she was about to kill something. It smelled like chocolate and there was flour and cocoa powder all over her front. She had her fingers dipped in what looked like chocolate cake batter and she scooped some up into her mouth before looking at him.
"It's mine," she snarled, hugging the bowl closer to her and glaring at him for a few moments. He kept his gaze even and calm, even though he wanted to ask her if she had eaten anything funny or if she had just drugged herself. Eventually she looked down into the bowl, her expression changing from that of a hardened mask to a worried pout. She chewed her lip before tossing the bowl into the sink, batter still inside.
"Is there something wrong with it?" he asked, careful to keep his tone rather neutral. His sister could be a tad bit unpredictable sometimes, and he didn't want to upset her anymore than she clearly already was.
"No," she said, her eyebrows knitting together as she looked at the counter instead of him. Something was clearly worrying her, only Neji wasn't sure what it was and he didn't know how to go about getting her to tell him.
"Can I taste?" he asked, unsure of even why he was asking. He didn't like sweets much, and he wasn't even sure what it was he was asking to taste.
"Yeah," she said, grabbing a wooden spoon and dipping it in the batter before handing it to him.
He walked over to her and took the spoon, inspecting the substance closely before hesitantly putting it into his mouth. He was surprised at the flavor. It was chocolatey, but not overly so. He wasn't sure if it was cake batter or what, but it was actually pretty good.
He took another bite before setting the spoon down.
"It's pretty good," he said, relatively impressed with her. The last time she had tried baking, after all, it hadn't turned out so well.
"Really?" she asked, looking surprised.
"Really," he affirmed, and she looked a little less depressed. "Why don't you bake it? I'm sure it would turn out fine," he suggested, and when she looked at him surprised, he picked up the bowl, glad it hadn't spilled into the sink and set it on the counter.
She nodded and got a pan to cook it in and she poured the batter inside, making sure it was evenly distributed before she put it in the oven. They sat in the living room together, and for a few moments they didn't say anything.
And then she started telling him about her day and what was bugging her.
Neji learned that day that all he had to do was be there for her and she would open up to him.
He figured he could do that if it'd make her smile again.
And times like that happened over and over again, from the day she got into a fight with him because Lee told her what he had done to Hinata-sama during the preliminary rounds, to the day that Kiba yelled at her for dropping Hinata after she passed out during training with her team, to the first time she took the Chuunin exam and failed. Neji gradually got better at handling his sister. And she got better at baking.
One day, when he was sixteen, he came home in the middle of the day with Lee. They had been training all day and after Tenten collapsed from exhaustion, Gai instructed the Hyuuga genius and his taijutsu-expert protégé to go train on their own, have fun, and strengthen their bond.
Neji decided he would meditate while the taijutsu expert had fun with the pair of sai his grandfather had given him and he never had the intentions of using.
Sounded like bonding to Neji.
"Neji... there is a weird sound coming from your house," Lee said as they stopped by the main door, slipping his shinobi sandals off. Neji, who had been busy untangling his hair from a troublesome branch, looked up at Lee, his ears straining. Lee was right. It sounded like... a chainsaw. Or some other terribly dangerous mechanical device.
"Damn!" he said, and flew inside, his sandals still on his feet.
In the kitchen was Haru. With the mixer.
Neji blanched.
"Haru, what happened this time?" he asked as Lee padded into the room, looking around the place. He'd never been inside before.
"Nothing, nii-san," she said quietly, eying Lee warily. Neji looked at her, letting her know that he saw through her lie and that he would talk with her later. Now, he needed to give Lee those sai to distract him before Gai found out they were slacking. The Hyuuga didn't quite feel like running on his hands around Konoha.
"What are these for?" he asked, gesturing towards the basket of bread. They looked like buns and it smelled like melon. This was a new recipe. He had to make sure she was okay before he took care of his hyper teammate.
"Haru-chan, these smell great!" Lee said enthusiastically over Neji as he walked to the breakfast bar, and he grabbed one of the buns and made to shoved it into his mouth.
"Lee-senpai, don't!" Haru said, throwing herself clear over the counter and snatching the pastry out of Lee's hand before he could bite into it, rolling onto the floor with the bun safely in her hand.
"Why not?" the green-clad chuunin asked curiously, looking a little disappointed, actually, sad that he had been denied what looked to be a tasty treat.
He and Neji were both unprepared for her answer.
"They have poison in them," she said, admonishing him for eating so carelessly.
Neji looked at his sister, thoroughly worried for her mental health and sanity. "Haru... why did you make melon pan with poison in it?" he asked, his voice calm and even.
"They're for Mamoru-dobe, that bastard," she said simply, and a timer dinged and she took more out of the oven.
Lee's eyes bugged out of his head and he looked at her, his jaw hanging open. Neji just pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, taking a few deep breaths before looking back at his sister. She was placing all of the buns into the basket, tossing out the one Lee had almost bitten into. After she folded some light blue cloth over the pastries, she scribbled something on a card in writing that was different than her usual, and she placed it on top of the cloth.
"Why are you poisoning your teammate, may I ask?" Neji asked, preparing himself to go beat up the little shit himself.
"Well… I should show you," she said, setting the basket on the counter, and she disappeared into the hall and he heard her quietly walk to her room. A few moments later, she peeked around the corner, biting her lip.
"Yes?" Neji asked, slightly impatient, his over-active, protective, big-brother-mind going into hyperdrive.
She jumped into view, revealing what she had been hiding. It was a forest green flak jacket, the same color as the one that Lee was wearing over his jumpsuit. She was grinning widely from ear-to-ear and she was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet a little bit.
"You… that's…" Neji fumbled, a little confused.
"I'm a chuunin, nii-san!" she squealed happily, running and jumping into his arms, laughing.
"Oh—oh! Good job, Haru-chan!" he said, rubbing the top of her head as she hugged him, wrapping his other around her shoulders.
"Congratulations!" Lee said, hugging her once she had let go of her brother.
"Thank you, nii-san! Lee-senpai!" she said, still grinning as she hugged her flak jacket to her.
"But… Haru-san… I do not understand. If you made it to chuunin, why are you… poisoning Mamoru-san?" Lee asked, confused.
Haru grinned at him as widely as she could. Neji thought her face might split in two. "He made it, too! This is my way of congratulating him!" she said, tapping Lee on the nose before grabbing her basket and skipping out of the room and out of the house.
"She… Is she allowed to do that?" Lee asked, looking back at where she disappeared.
"Maybe not. But it's how she shows her affection towards him," Neji said with a shrug, walking over to a bookcase to get the box the sai were in.
When he turned back to face Lee, he was still staring at the door, looking shocked and, if Neji wasn't mistaken (which he never was), scared.
Except for when it is.
A/N: I've been writing a lot of Naruto lately, and he's the first thing that I've been excited enough about to post. It's part of my fifty-prompt challenge that I'm doing, and this number 40 on the table—Cook. I decided to have some fun with it. The first thing Haru tries to make is green tea pound cake, even though it turns out to be more like green tea brick. The second is brownies, and the third are melon buns, which are little round Japanese bread pastries.
Haru and Mamoru belong to me, Neji and Lee belong to Kishi.