Chapter 1- Well, Someone's Paranoid
Day 44. Eli thought. A sigh escaped his lips. It had been 44 days since he and Clare had made up. 44 days of being just friends.
The dreaded just friends. Although Eli knew he deserved not being with Clare (he had cheated on her after all), he couldn't help but be upset that they were no longer together. He wanting things to be back the way they were, before he met Melissa, before he let things go too far that one time (for it was only once, no matter what Clare thought), before all of that. But that wouldn't happen until Clare was ready.
And at this point, Eli was unsure if she ever would be.
Eli reached the stairs to his apartment building and climbed up, half dragging his feet. He and Clare still lived together but they slept in different rooms; Eli was in the spare room sleeping in his twin-sized bed from his teenage years. It wasn't exactly comfortable but he had to do whatever he could to get on Clare's good side. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her back.
He fumbled with his keys, almost dropping them once, but was finally able to slip the correct into the hole. The door opened and Eli stepped inside. Clare was seated on the couch and was looking at something in her lap. He could only see the back of her auburn curls.
He crept up behind her, careful not to knock into the table that stood near the doorway. Eli got closer and saw her cell phone resting in her lap. It went off and she opened it and a little giggle escaped her lips.
Eli loved that laugh so much. He loved everything about her. Her hair, her sarcastic personality, her eyes. Especially her eyes. They were blue, but blue was such a drab term. They were amazing, filled with so much depth and life. He would describe them as maybe azure or cornflower blue. Sometimes, Eli would just stare into them and she would stare back. They would be silent, but it wasn't uncomfortable. The quiet was wonderful with both of them just thinking. It was peaceful. But they couldn't do that anymore. Friends didn't have romantic moments like those. Only people who are dating, engaged, married. He was none of those with Clare although they had been engaged until she broke up with him because of the whole Melissa thing.
He was about to put his hands over her eyes when he looked down at her phone screen.
I cant wait 2 c u either ;) she typed.
See who? Eli thought. He was confused. Clare didn't really have any girlfriends, not since Alli moved anyway and as far Eli knew she wasn't dating anyone. Or was she? Eli's mind was racing.
What if she is dating someone? What if they're in love? What if they get married and move to California and have kids? Suddenly, Eli was worried. What if she leaves me? I need her.
He needed to snap out of it. Clare wasn't his. If she wanted to run off with some guy that was her decision. She wasn't obligated to stay with Eli anymore; he was lucky she had decided to stay in the apartment. She felt bad that she would be leaving him with the full rent instead of just half. It wasn't because she still wanted to live with him even though they weren't together. She was just being a good friend. Friends do nice things for each other. It didn't mean she was still in love with him or that she wanted to eventually get married.
Why couldn't he just accept it?