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a/n: Well, you know how it is. Mushi-shi is great, love it. Time to butcher another anime in my fandom... I don't own Ginko or Mushi-shi...aargh..
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He likes to believe that his feet can never stop in one place for a long time.
He likes to believe the sound of his shoes against the dirt road gives him pleasure and that he likes seeing rolling mountains and cloud-covered peaks and verdant pastures with people in rice paddy hats cultivating their harvests.
He likes to believe that if he stops in one place, all he will bring is suffering and misery, because with his coming, the Mushi will follow.
He likes to believe that the Mushi Tobacco he smokes doesn't taste bitter, and that he enjoys the acrid tanginess that accompanies each inhale of it. It doesn't hurt him, but it doesn't help him either. He lets a breath of white in the air, watches at it curls up and latches onto a tree, freeing Mushi coagulating on the branches, then disappearing.
He likes to believe that his name is Ginko. He tells it to everyone that he passes, My name is Ginko, I'm a Mushi-shi. But there's something in the back of his mind that tells him he's really not Ginko and that there's something more to it. He honestly can't remember, so he likes to believe that his name is Ginko, and there's nothing behind it.
He likes to believe that one day, he will die because his curiosity becomes too strong and he'll wade into the Koumyaku and disappear from the human world. Who knows how many Mushi-shi have succumbed to the light? For now, he satisfies himself with staring at the reflection of the Koumyaku and at the Tenpengusa streaking across the sky.
He likes to believe that his dreams mean nothing to him, because when he wakes up, he can't remember it most of the time.
This time is different.
Ginko, Yoki, wakes up with his shirt sticking to his skin, his breaths coming out in short, hurried pants. It's cold and his blue-green eye crosses to look at the clouds of white emanating from his mouth.
Just for a moment, though, he remembers flashes. Flashes of memories that don't really belong to him. His subconscious nags at him, but he easily pushes it away and gets ready for another day of wearing traveling.
On the winding dirt roads, he likes to believe that the woman that looks like him as nothing to do with him. That her name is not Nui, he may or may not remember reaching out for her in the darkness, was it the Tokoyami? That she was the one that nurtured him back to life, saved him from a mudslide and became something akin to a mother to him.
He likes to believe that his name is Ginko, and that Ginko is his given name, not something he thought of randomly while the Tokoyami swallowed him in its hungry grasp.
And so, Ginko continues to walk and continues to believe in himself, even if it's the wrong thing to do and even if they are lies that he swallows.
After all, one day, he'd join the Koumyaku once both his eyes are closed and he cannot see the sunlight anymore.
aargh what have i done