Welcome to Sunset Valley Chapter 1, a zootopia fanfic

Hello there dear readers! I'm happy to bring you a brand new story! Welcome to Sunset Valley is a Zootopia-themed tribute to the wonderfully dark and strange podcast, Welcome to Night Vale!

Welcome to Sunset Valley (Part 1)

Elite Shade

A cordial wasteland community where the sun is searing, the moon is stunning, and unknown beams of luminescence flicker by in the night sky as we all feign slumber. Welcome...to Sunset Valley…

Intro Music Plays

Welcome back, precious listeners. As always, I am the one known only as Honey Badger, here to bring you the news you care so much about of our pleasant little town of Sunset Valley.

Well, precious listeners, some exciting news. It would seem that construction began last night of the new Sunset Valley strip mall. It also seems that construction finished last night as well, shortly after it began. I have a small note here with me from the local Sheriff's office, which insists that the mall was actually being constructed over the course of several months, and everyone simply just didn't notice it. I certainly would have thought that I would notice a forty-six story building that takes up about a hundred acres right next to the town square, but I guess that I'm just not that observant.

Anyhow, the mall's grand opening will be at noon today! The first five hundred mammals who show up will receive coupons for 98% off any four hundred items! Wow, now that's a suspiciously great deal! However, only the first five hundred mammals that arrive shall be allowed to pass through the mall's thick iron double doors and blast shields. After that, the doors will be sealed shut, and not open again for the next twenty-four hours.

A whispering voice in my ear, certainly not being spoken by a Cape Buffalo dressed in military fatigues with four stars, who absolutely did not enter via a hidden door right here in the station, is informing me that the closing and sealing of the doors is to enhance the shopping experience of the lucky five hundred mammals to participate. I am also being informed that this is not an elaborate social experiment where the five hundred mammals are going to have explosive tracking devices implanted at the base of their skulls and then forced to systematically kill a certain number of each other, in exchange for their lives and their release. Well, I don't know about you, precious listeners, but I sure do love a good sale.

In other news...uh...huh? I'm sorry listeners...but it looks like the next announcement I have for you here has been almost completely redacted. The only parts of it that are not blotted out by inky black marker lines are the words Clockwork and Corpses. This does not appear to be intentional, based on the black line covering up the rest of the paragraph seeming to fade out just before Clockwork. Which leads me to conclude that this entire document was not intended to go on the air, and that the marker used to redact it simply ran out of ink. I'm just going to go ahead and retract my earlier statement about the words Clockwork and Corpses. Apparently the powers that be which secretly control and monitor all of us here do not wish for you to know anything about what's on this piece of paper. So let us all go ahead and respect their wishes, and stop thinking about clockwork corpses altogether. It's the polite thing to do, after all.

Now on to sports! Things are shaping up to be an exciting season for Sunset Valley High School's football team, The Sunset Valley Ghouls. Star quarterback, Luke Dooney, has recovered completely from the injury he sustained during last month's practice. As you most likely already know, Luke received a bite mark above his left hoof after an altercation with an elderly and sick-looking homeless moose, who shambled their way onto the field and accosted Luke. The brave young buck fended off his attacker and managed to pin them on the ground as they waited for the proper authorities to collect the vagrant moose. The moose in question simply moaned as they writhed and squirmed and attempted to bite down on anyone within reach. Thankfully, the professional mammals in the simple black suits and ties were able to expertly guide the moose into the back of a black van, with no license plates, and drive off.

Unfortunately, after several hours of being bitten, Luke complained of a headache and a slight dizzy sensation, shortly before he collapsed. Within minutes of the paramedics arriving and strapping him down onto the gurney, Luke was reported as moaning in a similar fashion as his earlier attacker, and attempting to bite down on anyone nearby while reaching for them, until his arms and legs had been completely secured. This was believed to be the result of a fever dream, caused by a sudden and serious infection.

However, Luke is not only apparently on the mend, but doctor-certified as being more than capable of playing! Granted, his mouth had to be wired shut, because of some oddly vague reason involving his infection, but that should not impede his ability to play whatsoever. Also...Luke seems to have lost a bit of his coordination...but surely this is only temporary. A truly inspiring underdog story if ever I've heard one, precious listeners!

And now on to the weekly horoscopes! Let's see...where did I put that list? Oh! Here it is! Right where I left it underneath my standard-issue Necronomicon. Okay...first on the list...ah yes.

Aries! Your horoscope says...be sure to have an umbrella at the ready before you leave for work today...or a poncho...and of course a pair of goggles! Also remember, in order to get out those pesky blood and gristle stains, you'll need to first soak the stained clothes in cold water and then use club soda or vinegar when scrubbing by paw!

Taurus! Well, you have a very lucky week to look forward to. You have been selected by the local masked mammals that no one is allowed to acknowledge to attend a special, and mandatory, pizza party at an undisclosed location! You won't need to know the address of the location, as the masked mammals will take you to the pizza party in a windowless van that they shall come to collect you in, after surprising and blindfolding you of course.

Gemini! According to this sheet here...any and all suspicions that you may or may not have about the black, windowless ice cream trucks that make hourly sweeps up and down your street are completely unfounded. The ice cream trucks are there for your safety, but unfortunately do not carry any ice cream. And the slow, rhythmic chanting being broadcast from their speakers is not for you to listen to. Listening to the chanting for any prolonged period of time may cause mild headaches, severe migraines, bleeding to occur from any and all orifices, and mild hallucinations of shadowy figures turning into exact duplicates of some of your neighbors and/or loved ones, attempting to kill them in order to assume their identities.

Cancer! You think that you weren't seen last night...but you were. You think that you weren't heard last night...but you were. You think that you're safe behind your locked doors and windows, hiding in your panic room...but you're not.

Leo! In the coming days, you may suddenly have hallucinations of an exact duplicate of yourself appearing as though out of thin air. This purely imagined and unreal duplicate will more than likely attempt to kill you and assume your identity. Simply ignore it and it will soon go away. It is not real, there are no real doppelgangers, and there certainly are no doppelgangers from an alternate Earth that was destroyed, who are simply trying to find a new home here in Sunset Valley. Everything is perfectly fine. Just go about your daily routines as though there were nothing out of the ordinary. Because there isn't.

Virgo! Avoid any and all jars of marmalade at all costs. Your life and your sanity depend on this.

Libra! Let's see...oh...oh my...I don't think that I shall be reading this one aloud. It is best that you do not know, and dwell upon it in the short amount of time that you have left...you shall find out for yourself soon enough as it is…

Scorpio! Aside from some random disappearing and reappearing in the local library, nothing out of the ordinary.

Sagittarius! If your phone rings at any time...even after it's been unplugged...perhaps don't answer it.

Capricorn! Look in your fridge, underneath that carton of eggs that just expired and you'll find a red envelope with your name written on it in intricate calligraphy. You must not open it until midnight on the night of the full moon. Resist the urge, I implore you, to open it before that moment, or else you will face horrifying consequences.

Aquarius! Today is an excellent day to show some initiative at work. And of course, as always, be sure not to look your boss directly in the eye, as that will be construed as a challenge and will lead to a gladiatorial fight to the death in the conference room, as you have no doubt read in your employee handbook.

Last and certainly least, just kidding, Pisces! Be sure to keep your head up and a spring in your step as you may experience more than just a few minor annoyances, like people rudely jumping out of the back of the unmarked white van waiting at the stop light in front of you, with their paws or hooves bound and blindfolded, frantically trying to remove both and run away as several masked mammals try to recapture them; all while you continue to sit there and wait, possibly making you late for work. Just bear in mind that patience is a virtue and that you shall be rewarded in due time. We shall all receive our just rewards...in due time…

Some more exciting news, precious listeners. According to some anonymous call-ins, we here at the station have just learned that, due to the utter lack of any mammals showing up at the new mall to attempt to receive the special limited time discount, a series of heavily armored, nondescript black windowless vans are now going door to door in residential areas, collecting mammals to shuttle to the mall. Now that sure sounds like a fun surprise. There are more than a few mammals who seem to be less than enthused about the idea of a surprise trip to the new mall, but the military fatigue-clad mammals are more than willing to take them along anyway. So generous!

Now, it's time to hear from one of our sponsors!

When you sleep, you dream. More often than not, when you awaken, your mind quickly works to forget the dream. This is because of secret, arcane, and horrible truths that your subconscious mind has uncovered during your nighttime astral travels across the many different dimensions. Sometimes it's simply a result of your waking mind not being able to comprehend the complex thoughts and images that your subconscious mind can. In this case, what happens is that your conscious mind simply recalls only minute details that make the most sense out of what would otherwise seem even more nonsensical that you could ever imagine.

Should this knowledge concern you? Yes, yes it should. An aspect of your psyche traveled to places unknown by the physical for a reason. It is trying to warn the rest of you. They are coming. From the deepest corners of your genetic memory, you feel a twinge of primal fear, as you should. They are coming, and they are going to be cruel. If only you could remember and understand what your subconscious mind is desperately trying to tell you, perhaps you could do something. But you can't.

Instead, snap yourself of a piece of a Snick-Snack bar!

Oh? Precious listeners, I've just been handed an official-looking document directly from the mayor's office. It's in the form of a rolled-up scroll of what I believe to be parchment, and it even has mayor Leodore's official family crest in the wax seal. My claws are literally trembling in anticipation as I'm about to break the seal, after I take a moment to chant the official Sunset Valley chant, as is custom with breaking wax seals.

A low and gurgling moan begins, interspersed with dolphin squeaks and the cry of a bald eagle, and continues with a slow erratic drum beat in the background. All in the span of five minutes, exactly.

And now that that's taken care of, let's see what the mayor's office has to announce.

The slight whisper of parchment being unrolled.

...Oh...dear...uh...p-precious listeners...uh...I am truly shocked and unprepared for this official mayoral announcement. It would seem that this is an official proclamation directly from mayor Leodore Lionheart himself! According to this, the mayor has officially declared that the new strip mall was illegally built, citing that the location is atop an ancient burial site. This official proclamation is also citing how that same area has already been zoned for construction of a new skate park, which, upon completion, all residents of Sunset Valley are officially warned against entering, speaking about, looking at, or even acknowledging.

Listeners, I am unsure as to what this official declaration means but...oh...dear...I'm being passed a note by our office intern, Louise. It would appear that the ramifications for the mayor's declaration are taking immediate effect, as the entire structure of the mall itself has begun to...disintegrate? Precious listeners, I haven't heard of a large building in all of Sunset Valley disintegrating...in at least seven months, but that was part of our traditional Valentine's Day celebration.

Oh...my...I am being passed another note from Louise. According to some anonymous tips, the mammals in military fatigues are currently attempting to halt the disintegration of the mall, by trying to force their way into City Hall. Fortunately, City Hall is never in any one fixed location for long, as it has a tendency to disappear and reappear all over town and in the surrounding desert. As a result, the militarily-dressed mammals who are not officially associated with any branch of any military are now beginning to question any mammal on the street about the whereabouts of City Hall. And a new note that I've been passed is informing me that as the mall continues to disintegrate, the local sheriff's department are now clashing with the military fatigue dressed mammals. This...this is starting to get ugly…

And now, your weekly forecast!

What is reality? Reality is what?

All that is and ever was, and ever shall be within our universe, is but a dew drop on the back of a great cosmic tortoise. Our lives are not our own, yet they are in our possession. Do with this knowledge whatever you shall, for it is truly inconsequential. To say that we are but dust on the wind is to give our individual existences far too much credit. We each one of us barely make up any one percentage of the subatomic particles that make up an individual particle of dust. We must learn to overcome our desires to be relevant to the ever indifferent universe if we are ever to truly be free.

In short...just get over yourself.

Excellent news precious listeners! Peace has been officially restored! After the mall finished disintegrating, the military-fatigue wearing mammals all starting disintegrating as well. Once what was left of their forms ceased writhing in agony, and then ceased to be altogether, order was quickly restored to the town. This was done by way of the sheriff's department saying certain trigger phrases that, when heard by the average Sunset Valley citizen, will activate a pre-programmed series of commands within all of our psyches, making us all return to our homes and make peanut butter sandwiches.

At the location where the Sunset Valley strip mall used to stand, there is now a set of construction equipment and a construction crew, who have already broken ground on the new skate park. I'm sure that it's going to be a fantastic new addition to our bustling town square. Of course, after its completion, no one shall be allowed to acknowledge its existence under threat of immediate arrest, internment, and subsequent re-education. So basically an average misdemeanor.

And now another word from our sponsors!

Do you ever get the feeling that you're not alone in your house at night? Do you ever get the feeling of being watched, especially from the space underneath your bed? Do you tend to feel an overwhelming sense of dread whenever you pass by that picture of your long deceased great aunt? You know, the picture where the eyes follow you? Didn't you shut that closet door?

Choose Sprinter Mobile! After all, yes...yes you did in fact shut that closet door. Are those...footsteps? Coming from the attic? But wait...you don't have an attic…

Sprinter Mobile! Now the footsteps are coming from right around the corner...blocking off your only way out of the room...and they're getting closer...and closer...and closer…

Sprinter Mobile! Act fast...or else…

Well now, this just in precious listeners. I have been instructed to officially retract my earlier broadcasted statements revolving around there ever being any strip mall near the town square, as well as the presence of mysterious mammals dressed in military fatigues being involved in any way. Our sleepy little town is safe, and that's all that we need to know about the situation. Anyone with any questions about the events that had transpired today is instructed to keep their mouths shut, and to just go on like any other day.

Those with questions, who are being particularly persistent about it, can instead call up a representative from Sunset Valley's hidden council, who will be more than happy to forcibly escort you to a place where you can have those questions answered, and never return from. You don't even need to actually call anyone. Simply ask your question, while enunciating loudly and clearly in your living room in your house, and an informant for the hidden council shall hear you just fine.

Precious listeners, I just found, stuck to the bottom of my left shoe, a small and hastily-looking scrawled note, written on a napkin. What in the worlds? Ho boy! Ladies, gentlemen, and those that identify however they wish to, I have some BIG news! According to this note, which appears to be a plea for help, our local high school football team's rivals, the Wasteland Ridge High School team, the Arachnids, have all come down with a strange and violent illness. One which bears a striking similarity to the one that Quarterback Luke Dooney contracted from a wandering vagrant moose, who transmitted it through a bite. Apparently the source of the infection for their team was an infected shrew mail carrier, as his uniform suggested, who was only quarantined after biting several players and the assistant coach.

All those bitten report feeling dizzy and headaches, shortly before collapsing. When they regain consciousness, all of the infected appear to develop a taste for flesh, predator and prey alike. Any and all bitten by the infected will themselves become just like them. Precious listeners, don't you see what's happening? The hated Wasteland Ridge has to forfeit the upcoming game! Yet another victory for our Sunset Valley Ghouls, albeit a rather unorthodox victory.

This has truly been quite the eventful and memorable day, which no one shall be allowed to remember most of. Up next, a radio program that only beings from the sixth, eighth, and negative fortieth dimensions can hear and understand. As is usual, good evening Sunset Valley. Good evening...and good luck...

And there you have it dear readers! I certainly hope that you enjoyed this experimental first installment in my new Zootopia-style tribute to Welcome to Night Vale! Of course, be sure to take the time to check out my other stories here on FanFiction, The Door and its spin-off The Shift! Also my two stories on FanFiction's sister site, Fictionpress, The Fox's Path and The Thaumaturgist!

Also, this story of mine is part of a great collaborative effort amongst many other wonderful and talented writers, who are all writing their own stories for the project, which was all organized by AeroQC!